She was so nice. So full of life. Yet so bitter inside... This is the Perciper, so before Texting.
I walked home everyday. Of course, i'm only 14. School is a must. I lost all my friends. It started out as a joke, it turned to something more. I dealt with it immaturely. I dealt with it day after day. I let my thoughts slowly kill me. Until 9th grade. Until now. Everything is fine now. Everything looks clearer. Like a new pair of glasses for a person. She said my sea green eyes light up more, but even she knows the thoughts that haunt me. She knows what I want to do when I get near a knife.
I also know what she wants to do near a knife. More like a razor...
We are different in many ways. We share a couple things in common, but even those things are small. BUT, it's those small things that brought us closer, and closer. She loves my ugly laugh. I love her smile. She's smart, im dumb. She's cute, i'm ugly. She does sports, I sit home on my computer.
We're different, but we both have feeling for each other, but even if I "love" her. I have feeling for another. I know it isn't possible, so i'm doing something my friend told me to do.
Move on...
On December 21st, Tuesday. Piper told me something that made me want to hug her and tell her to sleep at my house. She told me her father had hit her. Her mom was in the city for work. She had to stay with her father. On Sunday her father went out to drink. He came home, and Piper was sadly awake. He took some type of anger out on her. She showed me the bruises he left. He hit her with a belt, and used his filthy hands. She looked at me with her teary eyes and asked for help.
She pleaded...
I kissed her. Why? I don't honestly know, I think about that kiss a lot actually. Was it real? Or was it fake? She had a crush on Jason. So we became something I don't regret, because it became something more.
We became friends with benefits. How did it happen? We both wanted to ease our pain. It was hard seeing Jason or Annabeth. Suffering being alone. While Piper and I secretly wanted to be with them. Piper and I talked a lot after that day. It was mostly about how shit this world is. How life could be so cruel, yet so sweet.
Bittersweet...
Then one night at the beach I asked her "What are we?"
She looked at me with her beautiful face lit up in the moonlight. "Friends Percy, but with benefits."
Then she slowly pushed me down and kissed me. That night we did more. We lost our virginity, I don't regret it. As nasty as it was back then. We both realized it's easier like this. But...
It was false...
This secret we share. Is only for us. Her bruises and my scars. Were secrets. Our situation. Was another secret. We "dated" for a long time. Slowly I forgot about Annabeth. Piper slowly forgot about Jason. Our feelings slowly faded for them, but it was empty. Our soul yearned for them. I wanted to kiss Annabeth, to roughly push her against the wall and kiss her. Yes, I have dirty thoughts about her. I use those dirty thoughts on Piper. We both share our thoughts. Piper was always there for me. She just wasn't Annabeth. The same for her.
On the night of New Years, we did something new. We went back to my apartment. My parents went to see family somewhere far. The house was entrusted to me and my sister, but she had gone out to drink. Piper and I were both a bit tipsy. We had drank with a couple of friends. As we sat on the couch watching Netflix, I grabbed her arm. She yelped. I'll never forgive myself. We had our roughest sex that night. I had left bruises on her. She said it was fine. It wasn't, no it wasn't.
I HATE MYSELF FOR IT! I fucking wished she had told me to die. I would've done it too. For the first time in my life, I realized how stupid I am.
I recall my memories and slowly fade from them. We "broke up" two months later, she had finally gotten with Jason, and I got with Annabeth.
But her bruises...
We had false feelings for each other, but that morning when I saw her bruises, that I Percy Jackson left. I didn't fake any emotions after that. I will never again do something so cruel...
For those two extra months, before we "broke up," we set things straight. Our nights became more slower, and caring. More passionate. I think we might've actually loved each other at some point. People said we were a cute couple. That we were meant for each other. I knew it wasn't true.
For we held False Feelings...
Then on the 20th of February, she said we had to stop, and I agreed. Soon after she got with Jason, and I with Annabeth.
I still don't regret my decisions. I only regret one thing about that relationship.