Title: The Name Game
Season: Meh. Debatable. Vaguely around four or five, I guess.
Rating: PG-13 (T is the rating in the new system, I believe).
Spoilers: None that I can think of
Summary: As I was watching an episode of SG-1, I noticed that Michael Shanks, Amanda Tapping, and Christopher Judge appear in that order in the opening credits. Well, shanks and tapping are both verbs, so I was quite amused that I could turn their names into a sentence (true it didn't make much sense, but it was still a coherent sentence!) So this is just a silly little piece I wrote on figuring out how to make that crazy sentence happen.
Author: Siobhan Torrin
Written: May 4, 2005.
Chapters: Well, this appears to be a one-shot, but if it's received well enough, I might some more chapters later on.
Warning: None, really. It's only PG-13 to be on the safe side, and for the hint of slashy subtext going on in the story.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the people, placed, or creative ideas from the show Stargate: SG-1. This fic is only meant to amuse, and I apologize in advance to anyone who is offended by it in any way.
The Name Game
"Teal'c." Major Samantha Carter (more commonly known as Sam or Carter) knocked on the door to her teammate's quarters, located deep inside the Cheyenne Mountain Operations Center. There was no answer, so she knocked again. "Teal'c? The Colonel want us to report to his office. Are you there?" Only silence answered her. Sighing, Sam opened the door and stepped inside. Teal'c was seated on the floor, surrounded by lit candles, apparently deep in kel'no'reem. "Teal'c," Sam put her hands on her hips, "I know you can hear me." She crossed over to him and tapped him on the shoulder, "The Colonel is waiting, Teal'c. Come on!"
"MajorCarter, please refrain from touching me."
"Well, Teal'c, if you would only come with me to see what the Colonel wants, you could get back to meditating sooner." Sam continued tapping on Teal'c's shoulder, intent on annoying him out of his meditative state.
"MajorCarter," Teal'c remained seated with his eyes closed, "you will soon regret your actions. I must insist you stop this annoyance."
Sam chuckled, still tapping Teal'c on the shoulder. "Sure, Teal'c, whatever. Just get up and let's go! You know how the Colonel gets when we're late! He's going to be upset that it's taken us so long!"
"DanielJackson, please make MajorCarter stop."
She turned just in time to watch Daniel plunge a dagger straight into her heart. Dropping to her knees, Sam pulled the dagger out. "Daniel," her voice was faint with disbelief as she stared up at the man she had thought to be her friend, "you shanked me!" Her eyes slipped closed, and her body fell to the floor.
Daniel smiled wickedly. "Oops! Sorry, Sam." He turned to Teal'c, "Come on. Let's go see what Jack wants!"
Sam woke with a start. She was alone in the tent, alive and well. The dream came rushing back to her, but that's all it was – a dream. She was on PX2-931, a nice temperate planet (with lots of those trees that Colonel O'Neill loved), on a week long scientific mission. She dressed quickly and exited the tent, looking around the morning campfire. Daniel, Teal'c, and the Colonel were sitting together on the opposite side of the fire from her tent (probably in an attempt to be quiet so she could sleep in), talking quietly, drinking coffee, and eating their breakfasts.
"Good morning, Sam!" Daniel smiled brightly and held out a cup of coffee to her.
She took it cautiously before sitting down across from the three men. She regarded them warily, "Good morning Daniel, Teal'c, Colonel." Teal'c bowed his head in greeting, while the Colonel stared at her rather unnervingly. She stared right back. "Sir?"
Jack smiled warmly, "Just thinking that it looks like you didn't get much sleep last night, Carter."
"Well," Sam shifted uncomfortably, "I had a rather disturbing dream."
"Ooo! A dream! Do tell, Carter!" The Colonel grinned mischievously, and Sam sighed. She quickly recounted her dream, in a bit of a detached manner, then sat back and waited for her teams response to it. There was silence for a few moments before Jack broke it, "Well that's a happy dream."
Daniel stared incredulously at Sam while Teal'c simply arched an eyebrow. "I shanked you?" She nodded. Daniel's mouth opened and closed several times, his ability to speak failing him for a few moments. His brow furrowed as he became lost in his thoughts, trying to figure out some puzzle. His eyes came back into focus and bore down on her. "What's that really mean, anyways?"
Jack's grin reappeared, and seemed to have multiplied in intensity. "It simply means 'Daniel shanks Carter tapping Teal'c'!" He then had a fit of uncontrollable laughter, while his team looked on, rather confused by his statement. After a few moments, he cleared his throat as he recollected himself. "Sorry," he smirked, "inside joke."
"Jack," Sam can hear the exasperation in Daniel's voice. Daniel shook his head, "Jack, you can't have an inside joke when there's no one to be 'inside' with." The argument was a failed attempt at regaining sanity, as Daniel only received a rather suggestive wink from his best friend in response.
This is going to be a long mission, Sam sighed to herself and poured another cup of coffee. She did her best to focus on eating and drinking, tuning out the playful banter going on between the Colonel and the archaeologist. Definitely going to be a very long week.