Questions & Memories

She drifted listlessly through the dark void; stars shimmering around her as she continued into the empty abyss. Her body ached from the traumatic events prior to her well deserved rest. With the damage she had received she probably wouldn't be fit for another tour of duty. She was destined to retire with the role of ferrying those who witnessed her uprising, death and rebirth. Much like their ship the Normandy's crew too found themselves most days drifting in out of sleep, eating and just enjoying each others company.

It had been a month since the war for the galaxy was won and active duty members aboard the Normandy had departed leaving the shuttle bay, engine room, command deck and crew quarters virtually lifeless making Shepard's fish take the most animated portion of the ship. Although she was relatively abandoned, each floor had at least one patron tending the duties keeping the ship afloat. The shuttle bay was a dark empty space. The armory and computer interfaces Shepard frequented were powered down, the ceiling and wall lighting sources were also cut leaving only allowing a few floor lights available for Cortez to repair the last remaining shuttle. On the engineering deck the bellowing hums of the radiators and drive core could be heard throughout the somber halls. The remains of Diana Allers were no longer present in the starboard cargo. All that lingered was the thank you note she left the Normandy's crew at the room's entrance. In the port cargo Javik spent the days in solitude putting his mind to rest. When he wasn't alone, he was assisted Liara with her many books she planned to publish about the protheans. As the last of his kind he was usually found caressing the memory shard of his ancestors; archiving the war with the reapers and finalizing the shard with the thoughts of the last prothean.

The command deck seemed to share the similar vibe as the rest of ship, however it was a little bit brighter. Unlike the completely pitched dark war room, the command deck was a shell of its former state. The computers that lined the walls were unmanned leaving it a reminder of the diligent crew that allowed the Normandy to succeed in her many travels. The galaxy map that provided the greatest source of light was also powered down, creating a large dark space in the center of the command deck. However the cockpit was very much alive with the chatter coming from Joker and EDI. Their laughter echoed down the empty bridge as they shared crude and eccentric jokes with one another disturbing the growing silence around them. No one to give them commands. No one to judge. Just time.

However things weren't as peaceful on all decks. On the crew's quarters things weren't so stagnant. A human and turian seated across from each other at a table trapped reminiscing about the good times that had gone.

"She was so delirious!" Garrus laughed. "I mean she was trapped in that security field for who knows how long even longer hadn't we come along when we did. I just remember thinking, there is no way this asari is Prothean expert."

There was a brief pause before Garrus continued. "I can't help but wonder how differently things would've played out if…"

"It really does get the mind going doesn't it? Playing every scenario and figuring out all the effects is staggering. Especially if applied to the line of work we've done." Shepard adjusted his seat before proceeding. "Let's for a moment think about how things could have been if we never rescued Liara."

Garrus stared at Shepard. His mandibles twitching at the intriguing thought. "Entertain me."

"Well, what was Liara's purpose?" Shepard quizzed.

"My memory is a little fuzzy, but if remember correctly she was a valuable asset sought after by Saren."

"And we didn't know exactly why she was so valued until she revealed that she could make sense of the Prothean beacon's message which ultimately led us to Ilos where we found the conduit." Shepard recalled. "And I think we know how the rest went."

"So you're saying if we hadn't rescued the how you humans say damsel in distress, we probably would've failed to stop Saren and Sovereign?" The turian didn't seem to be in disbelief at the thought.

"We probably would have spent our time investigating geth activity on Feros and Noveria without having any real clue as to what they were doing." Shepard lowered his head followed by a sigh. "Sovereign would've just taken its sweet time flying right in without a fight…"

The two seemed to fall into their own thoughts as to the possibility of what could've been. The silence grew as the subtle drip of water droplets could be heard hitting the sink's base. Along with the rhythmic sounds of the kitchen sink, the air vents seemed to kick in creating a low hum followed by a subtle noise of vibrating metal.

The sounds grew more prominent the longer the two sat quietly. However it wasn't long after the room's ambiance was interrupted by Garrus.

"Let's not forget the sex." He grunted.

Shepard looked up at the alien. "What?"

"The sex. There wouldn't be any." Garrus stating the obvious.

"Yeah…I guess not." Shepard found himself thinking once again. However it was short lived as Garrus advanced the conversation.

"So you and her…you two are officially bond mates?" Garrus asked.

"Wife really wouldn't be the appropriate word now would it?"

"Thought as much. I mean I've always known." Garrus laughed. "There's only so many times you can meld your mind with an asari before she has you knees on the floor worshiping the ground her blue feet walk on."

"I guess so." Shepard's response seemed faded.

Garrus utilizing his C-Sec training analyzed the man across from him. "Something bothering you Shepard?"

"Not really…Just thinking."

The turian persisted. "Well let's hear it."

Shepard looked up at Garrus with appreciation. "You sure you want to hear it? It's just pointless thoughts."

"I think society, no matter where you were would be pretty quiet if not primitive hadn't the people learned to share their thought with others."

"Alright." Shepard shook his head regretfully.

"Besides, what are turian best friends for? Following the first human spectre as he runs head first into a glorious hell storm of reaper destruction which could have ultimately ended our lives? No. It's to sit quietly and listen to the first human spectre's inner most thoughts." The scaly alien spoke with his usual sarcasm.

Garrus and Shepard shared in the laughter before they digressed to their former stoic complexions. Like the two figures in the mess hall, the room seemed to calm as well, allowing the human and turian to address the matter at hand.

"It's about Liara." Shepard admitted.

"Ah." The turian responded unsurprisingly. "And?"

"It wasn't til recently that I've been thinking about our relationship and how…brief it must feel for an asari."

"That's all?" Garrus laughed in relief. "Here I thought you were gonna tell me she's having your kid."

Shepard gave a small smile while Garrus regained his composure.

"Look Shepard. I know during the time we were fighting you hadn't had much time to think about what you were going to do with the rest of your life, but you can't allow fear of the unknown haunt you…You've been haunted enough" He spoke sincerely.

"Believe me, it doesn't keep me up at night Garrus." Shepard assured his worrisome friend. "But let's do some math here."

Garrus scratched the back of his head in dread. "How about we get a couple more drinks? Then we can do math."

"What's wrong Garrus? I'm sure those calibrations require some sort of arithmetic." Shepard joked.

"Alright funny man how bout we get back to what's important here?"Garrus offered.

"Okay Liara was born in twenty, seventy-seven. I was born seventy-seven years later making me thirty-two and Liara one-hundred and nine." Shepard calculated.

"Right." Garrus completed the math as Shepard continued.

"Granted the hundred years or so I have left, Liara would be around two-hundred years old when I die, leaving her with about eight-hundred left." He sighed.

"What's this really about Shepard? You obviously aren't worried about the actual relationship of an asari and human." Garrus inquired before continuing. "To which I remind you she will probably look the same when you become a dried out shell of your former self."

"It's the after I'm gone part that worries me." Shepard confessed.

"Ah yes. The eight-hundred years she's going to have to live without you." Garrus leaned back in his chair in sympathy. "What's she gonna do?"

"Exactly. Eight-hundred years alone. Or worse…" His voice died.

"Eight-hundred years with someone else." Garrus exhaled loudly. "I understand your concerns Shepard but I think there's nothing to worry about."

"Thanks Garrus." Shepard accepted. As one who is unremarkable when it comes to being self-aware, Shepard did think it was strange that he worried about the time Liara would be spending alone rather than looking forward to life he had with her. "Emotions just getting the better of me."

"And here I thought all humans were only soft on the outside." Garrus joked.

"You do see my reasons for worrying, right?" Shepard trying to confirm if Garrus meant what he said.

"Well damn Shepard, with your resume you probably put every male in every species to shame with the crazy things you've done." The turian laughed. "I'm sure she's not gonna find any one remotely close to who she's got now. I mean let's think about it, who in the next eight-hundred years is going be able to move the galaxy with compelling speeches and good looks? Wrex sure as hell isn't"

Once again the two laughed, as did the ship. The air vents roared on queue right as the men broke out into laughter. Garrus was the first to return from his enlightened state followed shortly after by Shepard.

"How'd we get here Shepard?" Garrus rested his interlocked hands on his abdomen.

Shepard's eyes met the floor searching for an answer. "I'm not sure."

Garrus noticed that was the best he was going to get from the human and progressed. "An N7 officer turned galaxy's first human spectre befriended a turian C-Sec officer who turned infamous mercenary all the while comforting a sweet innocent asari doctor turned notorious information broker. It's a shame that it took the mortal well-being of the galaxy to bring us together…"

"It wouldn't have been nearly as fun if the circumstances were different." Shepard joked.

This time it was only Shepard who laughed. Garrus sat quietly staring intently at the empty glass in front of him. It wasn't until the room's resonance had faded that Shepard realized he was alone. Following his realization was an awkward pause. However this brief stillness was interrupted by the turian.

"Did I mention I'm sleeping with our quarian engineer who happens to also be an Admiral?" Garrus spoke nonchalantly.

Once more the two found themselves humored by the turian's words.

"We're an odd bunch aren't we?" He asked the man who might as well have been his only true friend.

"Yes we are Vakarian, yes we are." Shepard smiled.

The commander eased his mind into pulling up the first moments he shared with the original crew three years ago. From the moment he saved Ashley's life, Garrus' introduction, to rescuing Tali from armed thugs, standing off with Wrex on Virmire to departing the planet without Kaiden. He could see them all clearly. But his many memories the cloudless ones were those shared with the asari he came to love. It was all there in perfect clarity; Liara trapped in the security field at the dig site, the awkward conversations in Chakwas spare room, commanding her to leave a burning Normandy, the relief to see her safe on Ilium, to even her accepting the role as the shadow broker. From the first mind melding experience to what they expected to be their last bonding, he loved Liara T'soni. He felt like he'd been connected to her his whole life although only having spent a year out of the three getting to know her.

With the loss of everything, it seemed the only thing left to hold onto was the love he had for Liara, his friends and the Normandy. To Shepard that's what he feared the most since the war ended. Not the fear of Liara bonding with somebody else, but the thought of losing her. He wasn't spending it at the center of reconstruction projects, giving inspirational speeches to those who lost hope or even serving the aliance, he was spending his time with those who mattered to him. To live the rest of his life with the ones who defied fate.