A/N: This is just a one-shot that I wanted to post.
"In other news, officials are calling for an evacuation of the Northern Hills area as the wildfire continues to spread." Roy's head snapped up so fast it took Oliver by surprise. "Fire crews from ten cities and even as far away as Nevada are on the scene to fight the blaze."
"You-you don't think it could reach Star, do you?" Roy asked nervously.
"The wildfire?" Oliver asked. "Probably not. I think we had a really small one here, but that was when I was a kid." He waited for Roy to make a comment about his age, but it didn't come. The teen was too busy staring at the tv, even though the news anchors had moved on to other topics. "Roy?"
"Yeah?"
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I was…" Roy swallowed and sat back. "I was just wondering."
Strange as it was, Oliver simply shrugged and turned away. He didn't think there was any reason to worry.
— —
It was abnormally warm that weekend, so Oliver decided to cook dinner on the grill. Roy joined him outside, shooting arrows and enjoying the warm air. Soon enough, the smell of the food drew him over. "Mmm…. Smells go-"
"I know, it's so good it takes the words right out of your mouth." Oliver looked at him with a smile. Then he saw the look on Roy's face and his smile disappeared. "Roy?" Roy was pale, paler than usual, and sweating. He looked like he was about to pass out.
"Can-can you cover the grill please?"
Oliver frowned in confusion. "Cover the grill…?"
"Yes…."
"Why-"
"Just- Just cover it!" Roy's voice cracked a little when he yelled, causing Oliver to listen. He quickly covered the grill, unknowingly hiding the flames under the metal.
"You ok Roy? You don't look so good."
"Yeah… Fine… I just…. I'm going to lay down." He went back inside without another word. On his way to his room though, he counted every smoke alarm in the halls. He rubbed his arms, suddenly overcome with a feeling of apprehension. However, he did go to his room and lay down, which made him feel only marginally better. It started to pass by the time Oliver called him down for dinner. Roy looked better after laying down, which was a relief to Oliver. He couldn't figure out why his ward had suddenly looked so sick to his stomach. Things had been going fine at first. He shrugged it off though.
'Probably nothing.'
Roy was quiet as they sat down to eat, but finally spoke after a few minutes. "Hey Ollie?"
"Yeah?"
"Can you get some more smoke alarms for the mansion?"
"Smoke alarms?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
Roy shrugged and scratched one of his arms. "I don't know just…. They're just good to have, you know?"
"I suppose…."
"Please?"
Oliver shrugged. "Sure. I don't really see why not. We'll go to the store first thing tomorrow morning, ok?"
"Ok."
Whatever he was expecting from Roy, having the teen watching him install the additional smoke alarms wasn't it. 'Maybe he just likes to be prepared,' he thought as Roy watched him like a hawk. 'Being prepared isn't really a bad thing, right? It's a good thing. Keeps you alive.' When he'd fished with the last one, he turned to Roy, hoping to see him look satisfied or something. Instead, Roy scratched his arm nervously and chewed on his lip while he stared at the smoke alarm on the wall. After a couple of minutes, he simply walked away and Oliver heard the door to his room shut. Oliver shook his head. "I don't understand teenagers."
— —
The next day Oliver came downstairs to see Roy watching the news again. It was impossible to miss how his ward was wound tight, eyes staring at the tv like it was going to give him life-saving information. "….Roy? Roy…" He put his hand on the teen's shoulder, causing him to jump. "Whoa, relax. Only me. The only other person who lives here." Roy didn't say anything but simply turned back to the tv. "No good morning?"
"Morning…" Roy muttered distractedly.
Oliver looked at the tv. "The wildfire again?"
"Its getting kind of close."
"Its a county away."
"That….could be close…"
"Don't let it keep you up at night." Oliver ruffled Roy's hair, an act which normally got him an annoyed swat at his hand, but this time Roy didn't say anything. "Let's eat and get moving, or you'll be late for school. Again." Roy didn't move. "Come on Roy. The wildfire isn't coming to Star." After showering and breakfast, Roy seemed marginally more relaxed. It didn't help that his social studies teacher brought up the wildfire when they were discussing current events. He made it through though and survived to the driver Oliver had sent to pick him up from school.
"You still don't trust me to sit at home by myself?" Roy asked as he walked into Oliver's office.
"We agreed that you'd come here after-school and wouldn't give me a hard time, and I'd tell the school you were too mentally unstable for after-school activities," Oliver replied evenly.
"Requiring after-school activities is a bullshit rule." Roy threw his bag on the ground and flopped down into a chair.
"I agree, but I don't make the rules."
"You just help me break them."
Oliver gave him a look. "I have a meeting. Don't break anything while I'm gone and don't leave this room."
"Uh-huh." Roy sat down at Oliver's desk when he was gone and pulled out his homework. He bobbed his head along with his music as worked his way through science, math, and history homework. Even if he hated that he had to come to Oliver's office after-school, it was a reasonably good place to get his work done. Once that was done though, he had nothing else to do. This resulted in him rifling through Oliver's desk. After that got boring he left the office and wandered around. The floor had offices only for Oliver and the top executives of his company. Most of them were empty, but the doors were also locked. 'Probably because they saw me walk by when I got here,' he thought, wandering down a hall. By pure circumstance, he found a kitchen. "Food sounds good right about now." Unfortunately, there was no food in said kitchen. "What kind of kitchen doesn't have food?" Without noticing, Roy's hip hit a nob on the stove. It was an open-burner design and a flame burned to life. As soon as the heat hit his arm, Roy jumped back. His back hit the opposite countertop in the tight space and slowly slid to the ground. HIs vision became unfocused and his breathing became shallow.
Roy stayed like that until Oliver came to find him. "Roy! What're you- Do you not see the stove?!" He quickly shut the burner off. "Are you trying to burn my building down?" There was no reply or even any sound, so he turned around. "Roy. Roy?" His normally very verbal ward was silent and he hadn't moved. Oliver crouched down in front of him. "You home? Roy."
"Huh?" Roy mumbled.
"You ok? You were spacing out there for a few minutes."
"Yeah…"
"You sure?"
Roy scowled at him suddenly. "I said I was fine Ollie!"
"Alright, alright. My meeting's over." He helped Roy to his feet, but the teen quickly pushed him away. "Let's go home." Oliver kept a close eye on Roy the entire way home until the teen could escape to the privacy his bedroom. "Something's been going on with him…" he mused, wandering to the kitchen. "I need to figure out what it is."
— —
Roy's behavior didn't seem strange for the next couple of days, and by mid-week Oliver had convinced himself that whatever it had been, it'd passed. Until their patrol that night. "Ok Speedy," Green Arrow said, surveying the area around them from the rooftop. "We're gonna go to the east side of the city and-" He stopped and looked back. "Speedy? Earth to Speedy."
"Huh?!" Speedy's head snapped around to look at him.
"Welcome back."
Speedy scowled. "I didn't go anywhere Arrow."
"Mentally you sure as hell did. Everything ok?"
"Fine. I just….thought I smelled something."
"Smelled something?" Green Arrow quickly inhaled through his nose but could smell nothing but the usual pollution of Star.
"Yeah…"
"Like what?"
Speedy hesitated, then suddenly got angry. "Nothing. Just let it go."
"What did you think you could smell?"
"Nothing!"
"Speedy." There was a short staring contest between the two, which Green Arrow won. Speedy sighed.
"Fine. I thought I smelled smoke."
"Smoke?" Green Arrow took a quick look around to make sure nothing near them was on fire. "From where?"
"I don't know! I just….somewhere."
"What brought this on?"
"I don't know! I was just…thinking about the wildfires-"
"Again with the wildfires?! Kid, I told you not to worry about them! They're not gonna reach Star!"
"You don't know that!"
"I do! Why're you fixating so much on that?! It's not a problem-"
"That's what people always think!" Speedy advanced towards him a couple of steps, one foot balled around his bow. "They think they have nothing to worry about! That the fires are no big deal! Until suddenly there's smoke everywhere and the air is so hot it's setting the trees on fire and- and-" Green Arrow's eyes widened when he realized the younger archer sounded like he was on the verge of crying.
"Speedy-" Arrow was cut off by the sound of sirens. He cured his luck silently and checked to see which direction they were heading. Speedy took the moment his mentor's back was turned to compose himself. "Looks like they're heading for 6th street-" Before he could finish Speedy shot a grappling arrow at a building on the there side of the trees and jumped off the building they were currently on. "Speedy!" Green Arrow could only watch as his partner zipped down the line on his bow. He shook his head and followed. There was no communication between the two of them as they ran in the direction of the sirens. A block away though, it became obvious what the emergency was. An apartment building was on fire. The flames were spreading fast in orange and red haze past the windows, and smoke was pouring out of almost every window. "The top floors aren't on fire yet," Green Arrow observed. "We need to get people out of the top floors as fast as possible."
"What?!" Speedy demanded, voice cracking a little.
"Come on!"
"We can't- Arrow!" Green Arrow didn't listen. Speedy sighed and followed. He put his respirator in his mouth as he did. Ideally, these things were supposed to be used underwater, but it would work in a pinch. His heart was pounding against his ribs and the heat from the fire on the floors below was making him shiver. Before he could chicken out though, he jumped from his building to the net, and pulled himself in through the window. Smoke stung his eyes and he blinked furiously to get rid of it. There was no sign of Green Arrow, so he was on his own. He sucked a breath and pulled date respirator out. "Hello?! Is there anyone here?!" He coughed and shoved the respirator back into his mouth.
"Help!" someone shouted from somewhere. "Help me, I'm trapped!"
Speedy ran towards the voice, sticking an arrow in the wall to mark a path back to the window. He pulls out the respirator again. "Hello?"
"Over here!" He used an exploding arrowhead to open the door to the room. "Speedy?!" There was a man crouched in a corner with two young girls.
"This way! Hurry the fire's spreading!" The man took the girls' hands and ran towards the door. Speedy pointed back the way he'd come. "Follow the arrows. There's a two-foot gap between the window and the next building. Now go!" Without waiting to make sure they followed instructions, he ran to the next apartment. He banged on doors and shot an exploding arrow down the hall to make noise. Doors started opening and he was forced to pull his respirator out again. "Everyone follow me! Hurry!"
"Since when do you and Green Arrow fight fires?" a woman asked as Speedy as he handed her a small child.
"We're just trying to help." The air was getting hotter and Speedy struggled to keep control over his brain. "Let's go! Follow the arrows!" He put his respirator in and ducked into the emptying apartments. "Anyone here?!" he shouted in each one, doing quick sweeps of each room. Thankfully the apartments were all two or single bedroom places. The smoke was getting thicker and even with his respirator on, it was getting hard to breathe. He made it through the whole floor though and discovered everyone was gone. With a nod of satisfaction, he turned and ran back the way he'd come. Unfortunately, as he'd stopped finding people he'd also stopped making the walls. The fire had now spread to his floor and it was making everything harder. Speedy took his respirator out as the metal was starting to warm up. He coughed and pulled the collar of his shirt over his mouth. All he could feel was the heat. He was sweating and dizzy. Another cough sent him against a wall and he had to put a hand against it to brace himself.
He slid to the floor, still coughing. It was so hot. Unbearably hot. It felt as if the air itself had been set on fire. Despite his best efforts, his nose was filled with the smell smoke. Smoke and burning wood. The acidic smell of wood and grass set ablaze. Speedy shook his head and put his hand to his comm. "Green-" He had to stop due to his coughing. The sound of a large wildfire was roaring in his ears and he started hyperventilating. That was when someone placed an oxygen mask over his face. He blinked, confused, as someone rubber this back. The contact gave him something to focus on besides the flames. However, it was picking him up. He was 14, a teenager, yet however, it was lifted him with ease and began carrying him. As the sounds of the fire died down in his mind, he began to get snippets of what the man was saying.
"Deep breaths- …hell Green Arrow was- -need to relax-" It just made Speedy even more confused. The man stopped and suddenly a new pair of hands was grabbed him. The oxygen mask was gone but was soon replaced by a new one. The new person was talking too, but Speedy could actually understand him.
"Just relax Speedy. We've got you. It's ok kid." Speedy blinked, mind still hazy. He felt like he was floating….or falling at a really slow pace. He moved to push the oxygen mask off his face, but the man stopped him. "Keep that on. You're probably still being affected by smoke inhalation." Before he could comprehend that statement, Speedy was being set down on something. It took his smoke-filled brain a moment to realize it was a stretcher. That was when he remembered he was wearing his mask and he bolted out of it so fast it caused the paramedic to stumble backward. In his panic, he pulled off the oxygen mask and started coughing again. Strong hands caught him and made him sit down.
"Speedy!" someone shouted. Green Arrow ran towards his partner, only to stopped suddenly as two firefighters stupid in front of him. "Move!"
"Not until you tell us what the hell you were thinking!" one of them snapped. "You left Speedy alone in a burning building!"
"He was right behind me when we went in! He's a smart kid, I assumed he'd know when to get himself out before the flames spread too far."
"This fire spread faster than even we anticipated Arrow."
"Just let me see him!"
"The paramedics are going to check him out and make sure he's ok."
Green Arrow sucked in a breath. 'Oh no!' He needed to get Speedy away from them. "Look, I can take care of him. I always do-"
"He's suffering from smoke inhalation," the second one said. "Let them administer some oxygen before you take him."
"Just administering oxygen?"
"Yes. Smoke inhalation is serious business Green Arrow. Let them help."
Green Arrow sighed. He was 10 feet from them. If anyone tried to pull Speedy's mask off he could intervene. "Fine." The firefighter gave him a strange look.
"Has Speedy had bad experiences with fire in the past?"
Green Arrow frowned. "Why?"
"When I found him he was hyperventilating and once he stopped he was mumbling about burning trees and grass."
'Damn wildfires again?!' Green Arrow demanded silently, feeling extremely confused. 'What the-' Something clicked in his brain. Wildfire. Bad experience. Roy. Guilt flooded through him, but he tried not to show it. "Um…Thanks. I'll make sure he's ok."
The firefighter nodded. "You do that."
Speedy was apparently cleared not long after that because less than 5 minutes later he walked over to rejoin his mentor. Smoke curled off his suit a little it still, and portions of his shirt and pants had holes in them. Under the holes, Green Arrow could see the pink skin of burns. He grimaced and pulled Speedy close. "Come on kid let's go home."
— —
As soon as they got home Oliver helped Roy get undressed and lay down in his room. He grabbed a first aid kit and sat on the edge of them so he could take care of the burns. "Do they hurt?" he asked. Roy had been silent since they'd left the scene of the fire. Roy shook his head. "Liar. I'm going to put his cream on them that should make it better." He did so gently, trying not to cause the teen any unnecessary pain. Roy was already asleep by the time he finished. Oliver sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair nervously. 'He's just tired,' he told himself as he set a glass of water next to Roy's bed. 'He's just tired. It's not because he's having a lack of oxygen. He's fine.' Not knowing what else to do, he ruffled Roy's hair affectionately and silently left the room.
Roy's strange behavior over the last week ran through his head as he went downstairs to his office. He sat at his desk for 15 minutes without moving. The guilt that was crushing his chest slowly making it harder and harder to breathe. He took a deep breath and opened one of the drawers. He pulled out a file and opened it up. It was Roy's social services file. His copy at least. He flicked idly through the papers, looking for something specific. He finally found it near the back. One-page report about the Flagstaff Forest Fire of 1997. Beth that was a transcript of an interview with one of the eyewitnesses of the event. Oliver picked that up and read it.
[Recording Start Time: 14:34, 6/28/1997.
Interview with eye-witness: 001, Raymond Begay.]
Fire Marshall: Can you tell me what happened?
Raymond Begay: we were unaware of the danger of the fire. Nothing we'd heard that day indicated the risk was so high.
Fire Marshall: when did you first notice it?
Raymond Begay: Around noon I guess? We started smelling smoke, bit through it was a campfire or something.
Fire Marshall: you and your friends?
Raymond Begay: yes. Once we related the actual danger we ran, but It spread so fast though and we… It got to the trial faster than we could escape. Then one of the trees fell on the path and trapped was fire and we couldn't get around it or anything! The first was on fire all around us! We are also unfamiliar with the area, so we didn't know how to find out way out.
Fire Marshall: what happened next?
Raymond Begay: That was when I saw the man. He was carrying a small child and running through the trees.
Fire Marshall: Not on the path?
Raymond Begay: No, but he moved with someone who had knowledge of the area.
Fire Marshall: This was Roy Harper Sr.?
Raymond Begay: I didn't know his name then, but yes. He saw us and looked at us, then the boy was he carrying.
Fire Marshall: His son, Roy Harper Jr.
Raymond Begay: Yes. He yelled at us that he had to get his son to safety, but that the would be back for us.
Fire Marshall: Then he left?
Raymond Begay: Yes. We tried to find another way out, but the fire was everywhere. We had to lay on the ground to try and avoid the smoke. That was when Mr. Harper returned.
Fire Marshall: he came back?
Raymond Begay: Yes. He had a bandanna tied around his mouth and nose. He told us to follow him.
Fire Marshall: and you did?
Raymond Begay: of course! There was no way we'd find our way out otherwise! He led us through fire, but I think I breathed in too much smoke. I was getting dizzy and started to fall behind. At one point I feel down and didn't have the strength to get back up.
Fire Marshall: what happened?
Raymond Begay: Mr. Harper turned back for me and picked me up. He carried me through the forest, but then more of my friends started falling. He started running, while he was still carrying me, and set me down outside the trees. It was in the parking lot by the entrance to the trails. Before I could react or say anything, he ran back into the forest again.
Fire Marshall: how many times did he go back in?
Raymond Begay: 4. Once to retrieve each of my friends.
Fire Marshall: when did the first responders arrive?
Raymond Begay: Around the time he was going back in for the last man. The paramedics were treating me, so I didn't see a lot of what happened after that.
Fire Marshall: is there anything at all you remember?
Raymond Begay: …..I remember a child crying. I could hear his son crying and saying over and over again that he wanted his dad. I looked up and aw Mr. Harper come out of the trees again. He helped get my last friend onto the stretcher, then collapsed. Was he still-
Fire Marshall: Roy Harper Sr. wasn't pronounced dead until he arrived at the hospital.
Raymond Begay: I was wondering about that… [pause] He saved my life. Mine and my friends. He had his son with him, but he risked his life to help five men he didn't even know. He sacrificed his own life for us.
Fire Marshall: It was a very heroic act.
Raymond Begay: What happened to his son? Roy Harper Jr.?"
Fire Marshall: He's being treated for smoke inhalation and first degree burns at the hospital right now.
Raymond Begay: What's going to happen to him?
Fire Marshall: He's been declared a ward of the state, so social services will decide what happens to him now.
Raymond Begay: Ward- Then he doesn't have any other family?
Fire Marshall: It appears not.
Raymond Begay: ….damn… Where can I find him? His father gave his life to save mine, the least I can do is help his son.
Fire Marshall: I can put you in contact with his social worker.
Raymond Begay: thank you.
[Recording ended]
Oliver sat back and put the transcript back in the file. He ran a hand over his face. Roy's father had died in a forest fire. It was no wonder he was worried about the wildfire coming to Star. Suddenly all of Roy's strange behavior didn't seem so strange anymore. 'Oh god, I dragged a kid whose father died in a fire into burning building! I'm a moron!' He put his elbows on his desk and put his face in his hands. 'On this episode of The Constant Screw Ups of Oliver Queen: Fails to realize ward is scared of fire and almost lets him die in a burning building.' Oliver honestly couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this guilty. Although, the fact that Roy must've been terrified, but followed him into the building anyways gave him a stab of pride for the teen's bravery and nobility. 'He's already a better person than I am.' He sighed and rubbed his face again. "I need to fix this. I have to figure out how to make this up to him."
Unfortunately, Oliver wasn't as good at fixing problems as he was are creating them.
— —
The next day, Roy slept for most of the morning, but Oliver didn't wake him. He called the school and told them Roy was sick and spent the morning periodically checking on the sleeping teen. When he finally did wake up, Roy wasn't talkative at all. He was silent as he ate lunch and watched tv in the den. He didn't even fight when Oliver kept him home from patrol. In the end, Oliver stayed home as well, feeling as though leaving now would make him an even worse guardian. Roy was oddly quiet for the next two days. He never initiated a conversation with Oliver, and merely nodded or shook his head when asked a direct question. It got so bad Oliver was considering going to a League member for help. He didn't though. Things were weighing on him enough, he wasn't in the mood to hear some of their "I told you so's". I told you he wasn't responsible enough to take care of a kid. I told you Oliver would screw this up. Oliver knew he had to fix this on his own. No outside help. It wasn't until Friday afternoon, when he found Roy sitting on the roof, that he decided to try and talk to him. Climbing out the window on the third floor, he ease his way over to the flat patch on the roof carefully.
"Mind if I sit?" he asked. Roy shrugged and Oliver sat next to him. "How're your burns?" Another shrug. Oliver sighed and looked out over his property. "I'm sorry Roy. I shouldn't have brought you into the building." No response. "I'm also sorry I brushed off your fears about the wildfire. I forgot- I didn't realize it's connection to what happened to your father." That made Roy stiffen very visibly. "I get it though. Not the fire thing….specifically. I get the whole….irrational fear thing." Roy gave him a look that Oliver interrupted to mean 'what the hell are you talking about?'. He sighed. "When I got pushed off that boat…when I feel in the water…I swallowed a bunch of it right off the bat and I started coughing. I couldn't breathe and I was treading water. Then the waves started pushing me under. It wasn't long before I didn't know which was up. I kept struggling, but I just… I couldn't get my head to the surface. When the current grabbed me, dragging me God knows where…I realized I was going to drown. I was going to die." He shivered and dug his fingers into his palm to bring himself back to reality. "I didn't obviously.
"When I woke up on that island… I was so relieved because I thought I'd never see the sun again. Even while I was there though…I didn't like going near the water. If I had to fish I never went deeper than my knees. Ever. When I got on the boat to come home…I was so scared the whole time I was on there I almost wished they'd just left me on that island. I couldn't sleep, couldn't relax. I just kept seeing the boat sinking or me going overboard again. I couldn't get the taste of salt water out of mouth and my lungs would start burning. When I got back to Star I immediately sold anything I owned that traveled on water. For a while, I couldn't even go near the harbor and the Star Bridge was a constantly terrifying experience. To this day I can't go swimming or go above my knees in the water. Sometimes I can barely stand to shower because the water on my head is just…overwhelming. I still can't take baths. Aquaman has invited me four times to come see Atlantis, but I always turn him down. Say that I'm busy. I never tell them the truth. I don't want the League to know how I have this stupid, irrational fear." He looked at Roy. "I do get it Roy. It sucks to panic over seemingly small things like showers or fire. I know it does."
Roy licked his lips and swallowed. "I don't like open flames," he said quietly and slowly. "Any kind of out of control blaze like a house fire is….paralyzing. Sometimes it's not so bad. Other times….Other times if I'm around a fire too long I get antsy. I don't like campfires at all. One time when I was 9, there was a wildfire on the reservation. Sometimes when the wind blew just right, I could see the smoke and even smell it. I could smell it for months after the fire was put out. Every time I went outside, I could smell it clear as day. Like it was still burning."
"I promise you, Roy, that wildfire won't come near Star. If it even gets close I'll ask the League to intervene."
"I didn't want to go into that building Ollie."
Oliver sighed. "I know and I'm so sorry. I should've been using my head. Now that I know though, I won't do it again."
"How can I be a good hero if I'm this scared though?"
"How? Did you miss the water story? Roy, I'm terrified to go swimming. If I fall into the water I'll have a panic attack. I'm a vigilante but I can't get wet. There's nothing wrong with being afraid. I'll even remind you that even though you were scared, you still went in. You followed me in and saved all those people. That's bravery right there Roy. That's braver than Superman." Roy 'sts true." He sighed. "Tell what, you can push me into the harbor if it'll make you feel better." That made Roy raise his eyebrows. Technically, it would make them even. After hearing Oliver's story, he knew he couldn't do it. He might've been mad at Oliver for what had happened, but he didn't want to purposefully cause his guardian to have a phobia-induced panic attack. Especially not when he was so familiar with how that felt.
"I don't think that'll be necessary."
"You sure?"
"Yeah."
"So…am I forgiven?"
Roy smiled. "I guess I have to say yes. I mean…you're the person who feeds me."
Oliver grinned. "Don't bite that hand that feeds you, huh?"
"Even if that hand is owned by an idiot."
"An idiot with food." He put his hand on Roy's knee and gave it squeeze. "Come on, lets go out and get something to eat."
Roy nodded and stood up. "Good, I'm starving."
Oliver stood up as well and put an arm around him. "I know the perfect place. No fire or water anywhere near it."
"Sounds amazing. Let's go."