Hello everyone this is my first one shot. I have never written before so although it may not be good please be kind and patient.
FYI. Oscar is Bella and Edward's dog
August
"Why! Why do you always have to go! You promised me you'd stay! I mean I barely see you anymore."
"I know! I know I said that! But it's good money Bella! If I want to further my career this is what I have to do! I swear I'll take some time off once I get back."
"You say that all the time! Just when things are starting to calm down you have to go on another tour or travel all over the world for some stupid publicity!"
"You know what Bella, don't even bring that up! You knew what you were getting into when we started dating!"
It was true, I did know what I was getting into but I loved him and would do anything for him. Never did I think we would end up here. I watched couples like this fight all the time, and end up in divorce, my mom and dad, my best friend and her husband, and now Edward and I. Although we weren't really having divorce since we're not married but when we fought, it sure felt like it. And we had been doing that a lot lately.
"I did know that but you always make promises and you break them!"
"When was the last time I broke a promise?"
"Yesterday, you promised me we would spend the day together. Then your manager had to call and set up a photo shoot you just hhhaddd too doo!" I said sarcastically.
"Ok that was one time!"
"How about a week ago, when you stood me up for dinner or when I had the flu and you told me you were going to take me to the doctor but you had your mom do it instead because once again you had some important interview that was way more important to you than me!" It was low blow, and I knew it. He always tried, he really did, but I never gave him enough credit. His career was important to him but sometimes he let it take over his life.
He always made promises and broke them. I know it wasn't something to be seriously mad over but the truth was, I missed him. And when I would try to tell him to take some time off it was always the same excuse 'You know I have to do this. It's important if I want to build a bigger career.' Sometimes I felt like he chooses his career over me.
"I can't believe you just said that…." He looked at me with hurt eyes "I don't have to listen to anymore of this. I have a plane to catch." Edward walked over to the door where his suitcase sat. He picked it up and turned towards me. My vision slowly becoming blurry with the tears that were threatening to spill. He took a look at me and our eyes met. Then he walked out the door.
Tears spilled down my faced and slid down to the floor. I could feel the sobs come out. I sat and cried into my knees that I was currently hugging to my chest. After a few minutes my sobs became quiet but the tears kept coming. I walked into mine and Edwards's room lying down on the bed on Edwards's side. Oscar came and sat at my feet, laying his head on my leg.
I looked up at the nightstand beside the bed and grabbed my phone dialing the one person I needed to talk to.
"Hello?"
"Alice."
"We're here for you Bells. It's ok. You two will get through it I know you can." Alice hugged me while I cried into her shoulder. She was my one of my best friends albeit Edward sister but she had always been there.
"Yeah Bella, you two love each other and I know Edward loves you more than anything. He'll come around." Rosalie said as she rubbed my back.
"I know but, I said so many mean things. He was so upset when he left. He'll never want to come back home now."
"Bella, I'm going to tell you what my mom always used to say to me…" Alice took a deep breath and looked me in the eyes "If you love someone, you have to let them go…and if they come back they were always yours. Edward will come back Bella, believe me."
At that moment I really wish I could.
September
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October
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November
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December
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Four months without seeing his face.
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Four months of not hearing his voice.
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Four months of short, one answer text messages.
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Four months of crying myself to sleep.
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Four months of nothing.
The snow was falling in huge snowflakes to the ground. I stood at the window sipping my hot chocolate in my blue footie pajamas that matched Edward's. I smiled remembering his face when he walked through the door after buying them; he was so excited, like a kid at FAO Schwartz during Christmas.
I watched as children played in the snow across the park from our apartment. They all looked so happy and carefree. What I would give to be 10 years old again and run around and play all day.
I sat my hot coco on the coffee table and flipped on the TV just as Oscar came prancing in the room and sitting next to me on my couch.
"In other news, Edward Cullen performed 2 encores in Madrid this week while…" At the mention of his name my eyes started to tear and as if sensing it Oscar got up and sat himself on my lap and let out a whine. "I know boy, I miss him too." I pet his head as I change the channel.
It was rough not having Edward around. I missed him more than I could count and the fact that both of us were too stubborn to call each other was childish. I hadn't spoken to him since he left; only communicating through the occasional text. It was mostly the same thing over and over, me making sure he had a safe flight, him making sure I was safe here in Chicago. There was never an 'I love you' or an 'I miss you, I'm sorry'
At one point it had gotten so bad, I had contemplated moving out. I was so upset that day, something had happened at work and I so desperately wanted Edward to be here so he could hold me and tell me it was going to be ok. But he wasn't and I never got a text from him that day either. But I couldn't move out, I loved him too much. And I needed to hear his voice and apologize because we wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for my big mouth. So with my new found resolve I picked up my cell phone and dialed his number.
I waited for an answer but instead was met with the voicemail. "Hi, um it's Bella… I just…I…"
Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. I sighed, "Just call me back please." I ended the call and looked at the clock which read 8pm in big red letters. It was already dark out so it was unusual to have a visitor at this hour. I picked up Oscar and carried him with me as I went to open the door.
"Are you Isabella Swan?" A man dressed in a brown uniform stood in the hallway with a small box and clipboard. "Yes?" "This is for you, I just need you to sign here." I took the pen from his hand and signed the paper. He handed me the box and walked away as I shut the door and locked it.
I put Oscar down and he scurried back to couch with me. I sat down and began opening the box only to be met with a clear case with a CD inside. I looked back in the box to see if the sender left a message but there was nothing. I went to radio and popped in the CD and walked back over the window. The snow had let up a little but there were still a few flurries.
"Well, I don't really know where to start…." My heart stopped as I heard his voice coming from the radio. "I am probably the worst boyfriend you could possibly have and I just need you to know that I'm sorry. I acted like a complete jerk before I left and I shouldn't have come on this tour. I will never be able to make it up to you. "
"I know that I should call you and tell you this but I don't know if you're still angry with me or if you'll answer my call. You're the most important thing to me and it's true what they say. You never know what you have until it's gone. Bella just know that I love you, more than anything in this entire world. I wrote a song for you, I know that I can't just waltz back and sing you a song and expect everything to be okay but I want you to hear it."
Then as if my heart couldn't take it anymore I began to hear the soft sting of a guitar strum the most beautiful tune and Edward voice echoing through the speakers once again.
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
At that moment tears streamed down my face and into my lap.
And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
"I'm fine baby, how are you?"
Well I would send them but I know that it's just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I've had my run
Baby, I'm done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I'll be home tonight
I'm coming back home
As the song came to an end and the tears continued to pour down my face I picked up my phone again and dialed Edwards's number. Straight to voicemail. I needed to call, him to apologize for how I have been acting.
I dialed again and turned around …..only to see him standing at the door.
My breathing was heavy, my eyes blurry with tears. The phone dropped from my hand and it was like slow motion as ran towards him. He dropped his bags and met me halfway lifting me into his arms as I started sobbing into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry Bella, please forgive me." He whispered.
I sniffed and he set me down onto my feet but he never let go instead keeping his arms wrapped around my waist. He cupped my face in his hands and I leaned into his touch.
Reaching up I cupped his face in my hands and brought his head down, resting our foreheads against each other while his hands went back to wrap around my waist. I looked into his green eyes that I had missed so much to see his own tears mixed in. In that moment I couldn't love him more.
"Only if you forgive me." I whispered. He nodded his head in a yes motion. "I forgive you too."
Then ever so gently his lips pressed against mine, once, twice, three times.
He stood upright and I hugged myself to him snuggling myself into him. "I missed you." I said.
"Bella you have no idea how much I missed you, your all I could think about."
"Why didn't you call?"
"I was afraid you wouldn't answer."
"That's silly." I said.
"I know but I couldn't help it, not after the way I stormed outta here."
"I still loved you though, you knew that right?" I asked.
"I still loved you, did you know that?"
"In a way I guess I kinda figured it out." He nodded and squeezed me once more before letting go. He took my hand and led me to the couch where he sat down lifting his feet up to the coffee table. I straddled his waist and snuggled back into his chest once again, finding comfort in the sound of his heartbeat. He rubbed my back soothingly until I felt him chuckle beneath me. I looked up at him to find an amused expression on his face. "You're wearing the pajamas." I smiled and kissed his lips. "Will you wear yours too?"
He chuckled and stood up. I stayed on the couch until he returned in his matching footies. As he sat down I resumed my place in his lap. "We need to talk about some things." My heart was racing, for what I had no idea.
"Ok?"
"These past couple months have been put into perspective for me and I wanna take a break from my music."
"Edward you can't do that, this is your dream, this is what you've always wanted."
He shook his head and his eyes bored into mine.
"No Bella, YOU are what I always wanted. This career means nothing to me if I don't have you….."
"You have me Edward…..always."
"I know that… but when I left…..I thought about all the things you said and you were right… I …I was getting too into my career, letting fame get to my head; I was being selfish and careless. I want to do this Bella and I'm doing it because I want to, not because we got into a fight. I want to focus on something much more important." And with that his lips touched mine in a way that sent fireworks shooting into the sky.
When we pulled apart I looked into his eyes to see so much love it made my heart swell.
"So does that mean I get to see you more?"
"Baby that means you get to see me every day until you tell me to leave." I smiled, the first genuine smile in four months.
"Never."
"Well then I guess I'm going to be here for a long time."
And with one more kiss we turned to see Oscar on the couch with his tail wagging. He licked Edward's face then mine.
"Ew gross Oscar!" Edward and I both turned to each other smiling and laughing. In that moment I knew that whatever came our way we would always get through it.
Because I loved Edward and he loved me.
Reviews are most appreciated, please be kind this is my first one shot. I will post the song and picture of the pajamas on my profile soon :)