How Grimes Learned To Make Coffee So Damn Good
*Hey everyone! This is a story about how Grimes learned to make coffee so good. Sorry if I get any military terms wrong, i'm not in the army and im not american, so im sorry if im a little off. I hope you'll enjoy the story!*
At a recruiting office...
Some officer: So you want to be a solider, do ya son?
Grimes(twiddling his thumbs nervously): Yes sir.
Some officer: What are your talents, boy?
Grimes: I don't really know...
Some officer: Okay then, what do you want to do in the Army then?
Grimes: I don't know...
Some Officer: Okay, then we'll run you through the test. Lieutenant Marshall will take you to the tracks.
Grimes: To do what?
Some Officer (becoming exasperated): To shoot chickens with a rubber pistol!! To run, you idiot. Go!
(At the running track)
Lt. Marshall: Okay, we're gonna see how many laps you can run in five minutes. Ready...Set...Go!
(Grimes starts running, but proceeds to trip on his shoelaces. He falls flat on his face, as
Lt. Marshall jogs over.)
Lt. Marshall: Are you alright?
Grimes (with a mouthful of dirt): I'm fine. Gravel broke my fall.
Lt. Marshall: Okay. You ready?
(Grimes nods.)
Lt. Marshall: Go!
(This time, Grimes gets safely past the start line and proceeds to run around the track. The five minutes slowly passes by...)
Lt. Marshall: Time's up, Grimes. You've set a new record!
Grimes (panting heavily): I have?
Lt. Marshall: Yep...for the first recruit to ever only do half a lap in five minutes!
Grimes: Oh...(passes out from exhaustion)
Lt. Marshall: Oh god...
The next day, at the next test site...
Lt. Marshall: Today, we're gonna see your accuracy in shooting with a rifle. Can you handle that?
Grimes: Yes sir.
(Lt. Marshall gives Grimes the gun, mentally kicking himself for giving this idiot a gun.
He then points out to Grimes the target, then moves back, faaaaarrrr back.)
Lt. Marshall: Fire!
(Grimes takes aim, then fires. Everyone awaits the the sound of the bullet hitting the target. Nothing happens.)
Lt. Marshall: What the hell...?
(He is interupted by a yell. He turns around to see a maintenance guy on the ground.)
Maintenance guy: Ahh shit!
Lt. Marshall: What happened?
Maintenance guy: I've been shot...
Lt. Marshall: Oh god.
(He walks over to where Grimes is still kneeling on the ground.)
Lt. Marshall: Get up.
Grimes: What?
Lt. Marshall: How the HELL did you manage to shoot someone 50 feet behind you?!?!
Grimes: Luck?
Lt. Marshall: ARGHHH!!!! Get back to your barracks, you idiot. We'll finish your testing tomorrow...
*Well, whatta think? Should I continue it? Tell me please!*