Disclaimer: I only own the idea. Final Fantasy is not mine.. Life is unfair..

Warning: Death, mild shonen ai and so on.

I wrote this in the middle of the night so please forgive me if there's some mistakes in spelling.. English is not my home language either so that might be reason too. Anyway, read and review! Thanks! ^_^

Btw. Let's just pretend they can't bring people back to life.

Until It Was Too Late

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~ When Squall's lifeless body hits the ground in front of me, I realize that I have lost my chance to live happily ever after…~

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I have always loved Squall. Not the Squall he showed to everybody but the Squall I knew he was. He's heart was pure gold, not pure ice as others thought. And I know I'm right because there wasn't almost anything Squall could hide from me.

When I was younger somebody told me that when you love someone with all your heart, soon there's nothing, no secrets, that can remain behind closed doors.

And that's true. When I accepted the fact I really cared about the younger boy, there wasn't anything I couldn't see. All the things he didn't say I heard. And I began to understand him and see him as he really was. Innocent, lost boy with too heavy responsibilities. Knowing that was painful..  I didn't know how to help.

The only thing I couldn't sense was his feelings towards me. I had no idea what he thought about me and that was almost unbearable. And because the fear of rejection was too strong I didn't tell him what I felt until it was too late.

I had known Squall for a long time and all this time we hade tried to find out which one of us is stronger. It was childish, I know. But it was a question which needed to be answered. Even after I realized I loved Squall I couldn't live in peace. The question was driving me nuts.

And he obviously needed to know the answer too. I saw it in he's eyes..

Of course I didn't want to hurt Squall. I didn't want to damage his perfect beautiness. But I had to know. That's why I promised myself that no matter who would happen, It would not be a fight till death.

The final fight between us was almost like a nightmare. It was supposed to be the Last fight. After that there would be no reason to hurt one another. But something happened. Some part of me I didn't know even existed took all the control over me. This annoying voice was screaming the question inside my head, demanding an answer.

Before the monster in me were released, I thought that after the decisive fight I could finally tell him about my true feelings. That I loved him and wanted to be with him.

But then it happened. Somehow I managed to get through his defence and my gunblade thrusted right through his heart..

Silence

"No!", I shouted. Tears were running down to my face. This wasn't meant to be a fight to the death! This wasn't happening!

But it was.

I managed to get back to my room. Hardly.

My mind refused to believe what had just happened. But my heart was broken. It hurted so much.

When I was about to collapse and cry my heart out I saw something on my table. It was a letter. I opened it whit shaking hands and immediately recognized the hand-writing. It was from Squall.

Seifer, my love

Today we are going to fight our final fight.

You know it just as I do.

And I also know that the other on of us is going to die.

And the one is me..

I've always been aware that you hate me and I thought I hated you

too before I saw the truth.

The truth is that I love you.

Don't ask me why. This is something I cannot explain.

It just is.

And now, my love, you know why I'm the one who must die.

If I would still think in my heart that you're my rival, I might even win..

Who knows.

But you're not my rival anymore.

 You're the one I love and there's no way I could ever hurt you…

Please try to understand and don't ever blame yourself!

Promise that..

Goodbye Seifer.

I love you forever.

Squall

A single tear drops down to the letter.

"Oh my God.. What have I done.."

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I show you no emotion
Don't let you see what you're doin' to me
I imagine the two of us together
But I been livin' in reality

Fear of rejection
Kept my love inside
But time is running out
So damn my foolish pride

Westlife - Can't lose what you never had