Warning: Crack!Fic. Chaoes ensues. Mpreg.

Disclaimer: I'll only put this once, since I'm posting the entire thing. I don't own Supernatural and I make no money from it. Obviously.

Anyway, enjoy this craziness. Or not. This is the most random story I've written. For real.

Life was surreal for the two brothers. It always had been, but they had gotten used to hunting. To demons, angels, and monsters amongst other paranormal entities.

But having their mother back was beyond anything they were ready for.

Shortly after Sam had said his final goodbye to Dean, he received a phone call from the man who should've died. Looking up at the warmly blazing sun, he grew confused. The bomb was supposed to have gone off and yet his brother was calling him.

"Dean?" He asked in a short whisper.

Cas tilted his head, coming to stand closer to the other brunette. Sam looked up at the angel with wide eyes, smiling a little before he focused his attention on what Dean was saying. Somehow, he was still alive.

"Yeah, look, I have a lot to explain to you when I meet you back at the bunker. I've got Mom here too. I'll explain later." He murmured gruffly, hanging up before Sam had a chance to speak.

"Dean's okay. He's okay." Sam breathed, still staring at his cell unseeingly.

Cas smiled. "We should hurry back and meet them there." Placing a hand on his shoulder, the angel transported them back home.

o

It took a few hours for Dean and Mary to arrive. When they did, a warm meal was waiting for them. Sam had gotten take out, but it was the best he could do at the moment. He wasn't much of a cook. It was more Dean's thing.

"Dean." He hugged him tightly as soon as he walked down the stairs. Pulling away, he glanced curiously at the woman who stared uncertainly back at him.

"Sam?" She murmured. "Wow…last time I saw you, you were so little. Look at you."

He smiled nervously, unsure of where this feeling came from. He continued to stare and stare without saying anything, causing Dean to give him a look.

"I know this must be a huge shock for you, it's still a shock for me. I never expected to be brought back." Mary murmured.

"Amara revived her." Dean explained to Sam, noticing his bewildered expression.

"Oh…well, I'm glad you're here." He murmured somewhat awkwardly, moving forward to hug her tightly. She gasped, smiling widely as she returned the embrace.

Looking between the two, she noticed how different they were. "Sam, I think you might be taller than both John and Dean." She noticed, chuckling.

They both smiled warmly, yet there was still this awkward tension hanging in the air. Cas stepped forward then, hugging Dean without warning. The hunter stumbled back a little, before slapping him on the back in a friendly manner.

"I'm glad you're alright. I feared that was the last time I would ever see you." He admitted.

"Good to see you too, man." Dean grinned, "Cas, this is my mother. Mom, this is Castiel. He's an…an angel."

"An angel?" She repeated flatly. In all her years as a hunter, she thought such things were simply made up. "He's actually an angel?"

"Yes, it is nice to meet you." Cas shook her hand, nodding.

"Okay…" She blinked several times, pulling back. "I think I should go take a nap."

"We have dinner if you'd like some now." Sam interjected hastily, gesturing to the set up table.

"Oh, well, sure. Looks good. But I think I ought to lay down. I'll eat with you tomorrow, is that okay?" Mary still sounded disorientated. It was to be expected after being revived so suddenly. It would probably take some time for her to adjust completely.

"Sure, of course. No problem." Sam said, while Dean nodded.

o

As they sat at the table the following evening, the tension became very clear. The only sounds were of silverware clanking, everyone focused on their own plates instead of each other.

"This is delicious, mom." Dean finally mentioned, smiling at her.

Sam let out a quiet breath of relief. As much as they insulted each other, one of things he loved about him was his ability to break the ice. Dean was much more sociable and outgoing and suddenly, Sam was overwhelmed that both his brother and mother were here with him.

He didn't know if it was pure luck or fate, but honestly given their history both of them should be dead presently. Mary too.

"Thanks, but it's just take out. I would've cooked, but I don't." She shrugged, taking another bite of chicken.

"The meatloaf though, it was always so good." He insisted.

"Piggly Wiggly." Mary admitted, setting her fork down. "I bought pie too, if you'd like some. You still like it, don't you?"

"Definitely." He patted his stomach, grinning widely as she placed a blueberry pie in front of him with a knowing smile.

Opening the box, he sighed contentedly. Hastily, he began eating it like he'd had nothing to eat for dinner. Sam watched with a look of disbelief, before glancing at their mother. Mary only smiled, shaking her head amusedly.

"Can you eat that any faster?"

"No…" He swallowed, slowing down a little as he turned to Sam. "Want some?"

"No, I'm good." Sam forced a smile, watching as he continued to eat without so much as wiping his face.

o

Later that night, Dean looked through the photos he kept in his drawer. All of his childhood photos splayed out of in front of him seemed so unfamiliar suddenly. He was glad to have his mother back, but it was odd. Like it went against the natural order.

Downing his beer, he sighed moments later with a frown. There was also the matter of explaining their strange relationship to Mary. He already could sense she knew that something was very off between them—she was a woman, and had that damned female intuition. It would be nearly impossible to hide it much longer.

Earlier while they were in the car the other day, she asked the question he hoped she wouldn't ask.

"So, you and Sam are still hunting?" She had quipped, quite innocently but he could see the calculating look in her eyes. A very motherly, stern gaze that made his blood run cold.

He had frowned, adjusting the rearview mirror. "Yeah. You know, Sam's different though. He had the chance to leave the life. He even went to Stanford for awhile."

"Yet he left school to hunt? Why?" Mary had asked, nearly horrified.

Dean had swallowed thickly. "It was my fault. I came back for him, I didn't want to look for dad alone. He stuck around, I guess."

She had softened her gaze, nearly tearing up. "No, honey, it's my fault. I started this. If it wasn't for me, that yellow-eyed demon wouldn't have gone after Sam."

Dean had said nothing. The radio had buzzed quietly, just loud enough to hear the music without it being distracting.

"But after you found your father, after the yellow-eyed thing was dead he…stayed?" Mary had still sounded confused. "Why didn't he go back to school? Get married? In fact, why didn't you?"

He had sighed a little, gazing out the window briefly. "We realized that after finding dad, after traveling around, the only thing we had besides this car was each other."

The answer hadn't seemed to satisfy her. He could tell she had wanted to know more, but had kept quiet the rest of the ride.

o

Sam sat in his room, staring up at the ceiling. He couldn't process that his mother was back. A woman he didn't know. She'd given birth to him, but that's all he knew about her. Sighing, he stood up and decided to try to speak to her a little. It was better than sitting here.

Knocking on her door, he waited a few moments before slowly entering when he heard nothing. Mary stood folding some clothes up, before she smiled as he came inside.

"Sam."

"Hi, mom. I, uh, wanted to see if you wanted anything. Drink?" He offered.

"I'm okay, thank you."

He hesitated, before stepping further into the room. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he continued to stare at her.

"I know me being here must be confusing for you boys. You lost me and suddenly I'm back. It's hard for me too though. There's so much about you two I don't know." Mary said, smiling sadly. Sam merely looked down, frowning. "Like, your first crush. Your favorite color. How you grew up. There's so many blanks to fill in, you know?"

Sam handed her a journal, before meeting her gaze. "Look mom, for me, having you here fills in the biggest blank."

Mary looked down at the book in her hands, flipping through the pages. Sam walked over to her, gesturing to the name inscribed on the inside of the front cover.

"It's dad's. It explains a lot of what happened after your death. It could be helpful to understand how we spent our childhood and his thoughts…" Sam shrugged, smiling at her.

"Thank you, Sam."

"You're welcome."

After he left, he still felt uneasy though. He didn't understand why he wasn't happier, why he wasn't filled with the giddiness of someone who had regained a missing part of their life.

He sighed, stopping himself there. He knew damn well what the problem was. With that thought in mind, he went into the kitchen where his brother sat looking at old photos.

"Dean. We need to talk." Sam said seriously.

"Yeah, I know."

They sat together on the floor, leaning against the wall of the kitchen island behind them. Pushing the stools out of the way, Sam scooted closer. Dean gave him a look like it was a dumb idea, but the younger man didn't care. He placed a hand over the older man's, before gripping it tight for a few moments.

"We need to go our separate ways now." Sam began carefully, letting his hand go as he folded his arms instead.

While they had never been intimate, their relationship was more than odd. It wasn't quite romantic, but not platonic the way siblings should be. Yes, they (mainly Dean) had one night stands with women, but there was still this odd, co-dependent irrational bond between them. This need to have the other close by. It was strange—even Dean hadn't been able to put it into words years ago. Love, family, whatever it was between them. Those words still echoed in Sam's mind.

They lived together now in the bunker. Dean cooked for them both and did the laundry. Sam took care of the research. They basically lived like an old, married couple. Even their mother was beginning to notice it, even though she'd only been there a few days.

To his surprise, Dean nodded. "You're right. You, uh, remember when we met that married couple? The hunters?"

"You mean the man who was seeking vengeance on that thing who murdered his brother?"

"Mhm. When they told us they were quitting, I felt so damn happy for them. I finally understood how Bobby must've felt when I lived with Lisa and Ben." Dean explained.

"And yet here we are." Sam said.

"Look, Sam. This is my fault. I pressured you into helping me find dad. I should've left you alone, let you live a normal life." Dean said quietly. "For god's sake, you were at Stanford with a full ride for your undergrad. Dad and I should've realized what an amazing opportunity that was, praised you for your intelligence. But back then, we didn't. We made you feel bad about leaving us. We were beyond selfish."

Sam scoffed, causing him to glare over at the other man. He was revealing his feelings to him like a chick, not understanding how difficult it was for him, and he had the nerve to laugh? Before he could get angry, the younger man turned to him.

"It's both our fault. We both made mistakes. And we both had a tough childhood, alright? But ultimately it's not really your fault or dad's, because that yellow-eyed demon came back for me. Pulled me back into hunting regardless of whether you showed up or not. Jess is dead because of that." Sam told him, lifting his knees and casually resting his elbows on his thighs. "Not to mention, I could've left anytime, and I didn't. You know why?"

"If you say it's cause I love you, I'll punch you in the face." Dean snapped. "No corny stuff, I swear."

Sam nearly laughed, gazing down instead of at those beautiful eyes. "Well, I do. Also, I couldn't leave all these years because honestly, I don't know if I'd be able to do it."

Dean frowned. "What the hell do you mean? It was easy enough for you to live with Amelia. You didn't even look for me."

Sam sighed, knowing he would never let that go even though it happened years ago. "I don't how many times I have to apologize for that. You were gone and I figured I could start my regular life then, but you came back. And instead of being angry that my chance at normalcy was gone, I was actually…relieved."

"Because I was alive?"

"Yeah, but also because things with Amelia weren't going so well towards the end. I kept having weird dreams, nightmares. It made me truly realize that hunting will stick with me no matter what and that it makes it difficult to have a normal life." Sam explained.

"Same thing happened to me. With Lisa." He admitted.

"I know, I remember."

The silence was deafening suddenly. They sat there quietly for awhile, not sure what to say at this point. Sam looked conflicted, biting his lip. Dean looked over at him curiously, leaning forward to peer at him closely.

"Hey man, you okay?"

"I don't know." Sam shrugged with an almost helpless expression. "Mom's back. God and Amara made amends, and that's great…but what happens now?"

"We quit hunting." Dean reiterated gruffly.

"Dean, you're gonna punch me in the face cause this is seriously corny, but…I don't wanna leave you. And mom being here complicates things because I know she wants us to have a better life. But I like the life that I've made with you."

"You said earlier that we need to separate." Arms folded across a broad chest, green eyes staring over at him pointedly.

Sam nodded. "I know, and I meant it. Still, I was only saying it because of mom. This is gonna sound horrible and probably makes me a terrible son, but I almost wish it was still just us. It was less complicated. I like being with you, Dean."

The older man sat there silently to his shock, staring straight ahead blankly. "Sam…no."

"What?"

"I love you too, but we need to separate before we seriously hurt someone."

"By someone you mean mom."

"Exactly." Dean shifted uncomfortably. "Like you said, mom being here is gonna change things. We need to do this for her."

Sam almost looked frustrated, confusing him. "Why? We're grown men. If this is how we wanna live, then isn't it our decision? She's going to have to accept it eventually."

"Sammy…" Dean sighed heavily, closing his eyes in exasperation. "Yes and no. Yes, we are adults and should be able to live how we want. But unlike you, I know what having a mother around is like. I don't remember much, but it ain't gonna be how it was with dad."

The younger man looked genuinely confused, blinking a few times slowly. "What?"

Dean shrugged. "Dad kinda let us do whatever we wanted when we weren't hunting, let us discover stuff on our own. Women are different, mothers are different. They nag, they get involved in your business and I mean all of it, they care way too much, and they love you like nobody else would. So, yeah, us staying together would make her unhappy. Mom's unhappy, everybody is gonna be unhappy. Believe me, Sam."

Sam swallowed hard, shaking his head. "I don't think all mothers are like that."

"Of course not, but ours is. Trust me. Even though I was only four, I remember. She loves us, Sam." Dean said emphatically, placing a hand on his shoulder and peered up at him with a seriousness that was strange for him.

For some reason, hearing him say that made tears prick at his eyes. He figured she did love them, but to know it was true. To see her back again, it did fill a void he didn't realize was there.

"So how soon are you leaving?" Dean asked.

Sam's stomach twisted. "You really want to leave the bunker? This is our home now, there's knowledge here that we can't find anywhere else. We're freakin' men of letters, Dean."

"Yeah, but…we can't stay together either. Mom's weirded out by us."

"Weirded isn't a verb."

"Shut up, you nerd. I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you. We gotta find a solution, Sam."

"You can stay here, I'll leave." Sam said begrudgingly. "I could go back to school, maybe?"

Dean nodded.

Sam smiled a little. "I can visit you, you could visit me."

"Right. Like a normal family. We can do normal, right?"

Sam's lips twitched as though about to smile, but didn't. "I guess so. Wouldn't hurt to try…again. For the tenth time."

They stood in silence, still uncertain about the future. Sam wasn't sure when he'd leave to reapply to schools, but he figured it would be soon. Summer was ending and applications for the next school year would be due soon enough. Getting into law school with his long absence would be challenging, but not impossible. He'd figure it out.

Dean stood there, wondering what he'd do if he couldn't hunt. Fix cars, take out a loan to own a bar maybe. Gamble professionally. Attempt to go back to school somehow. He didn't know.

With those thoughts in mind, they silently went back to their rooms to get some sleep.