Title: Why
Authors: The Confused One and Sassy
Rated: M
Summary:Bobby and Alex struggle to change their relationship from friendship to something more.
Archive: Anywhere. Just let us know.
Disclaimer: Don't own Criminal Intent. Don't get paid for any fanfiction we produce. Just enjoy to prowl around in the characters' heads a bit.
Chapter 1 "Just Give Me Tonight"
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Her heart was pounding as she slid the key into his lock. Her hands shook as she closed the door behind her. With each step, she was seriously questioning herself. What am I doing here? What do I hope to accomplish by this? Then the other voice in her head spoke up, You are doing what you've always wanted. You are getting as close to Robert Goren as you can get. You are getting inside his heart and in his bed. She was beside his bed now, watching him. He looked so peaceful so relaxed. She didn't notice the beads of rain drip from her onto him, waking him. Her hand rose and stroked his hair then his cheek. She licked her lips before letting out a whimper. She needed him. Wanted him.
Between the rain and her touch, Bobby's eyes flew open. Grabbing her wrist, he looked startled. "Eames..." He instantly let go of her. "What are you doing here?" He was trying to decide if this was another one of his dreams. The idea that the real Alex Eames was even by his bed was almost too much for him.
Alex licked her lips and slowly pulled her shirt over her head. "I need you, Bobby...I need you." She was sliding her jeans down her body now. "If all you can give me is just this night...I understand but I have to feel you...touching me, inside me...caressing me...I need you." She slipped off her panties pulled back the covers to climb into bed with him.
In shock, Bobby stared at her for a long moment. This isn't real, Bobby. You could never have Alex like this. She'd never come to you like this. You need to wake up. Stop torturing yourself and wake up. When she slid into the bed with him, she crawled on top of him. Oh, God! Is she really there? Is this really Alex? Do I care? When her lips touched his, he felt everything inside of him wake up, and he stopped thinking. It didn't matter anymore. Flipping her over onto her back, he threaded his fingers into hers. Moving them above her head, he groaned and kissed her hard on the lips. Moving to her neck, he whispered into her neck, "God, Alex..." It had to be her. She smelled like Alex. He was awake, and she was there.
Alex whimpered as his lips, tongue, and teeth made her his. She arched her hips needing him inside her. "Please?" she barely managed to croak. "Please...I need you...need you so bad..."
Breathlessly, he whispered, "OK." Letting her hands go, he threw his shirt off. Slipping out of his boxers, he wanted to taste every inch of her. He wasn't sure he'd ever get the chance to have her again, and he wanted to commit every detail of her to his memory. He had no idea why she had come to him, but he was going to take full advantage of it. After swirling his tongue around her nipple, he bit gently, and then licked. As she spread her legs, he pushed his member inside of her.
She cried out as he began to thrust into her. She was touching every inch of him that was within reach. She was certain he'd never let her have him this way again. This completely. She closed her eyes to keep from looking deep into his soul. Afraid she'd see that he didn't love her. That he didn't need her the way she needed him. She moved her hips to meet each of his thrust. "God...Bobby..." She cried out when he caused her to climax. "Don't stop...just please..." she begged. "Don't stop." Her mouth found the hollow of his throat and she sucked gently, her mark on him unnoticed. She dug her nails into his back as he caused her body pleasure with every stroke of his hands to her skin. Every kiss to her flesh. Ever thrust inside her. She ached for him this way. She would now only have the memory of this moment, this night together, to go to bed with. To dream about. To hold onto. To cherish. "I love you," she cried out as he caused another ripple of pleasure inside her. She bit her lip when she felt him release inside her.
Calling out her name when he released, he moved until he was spent. Out of breath, he rolled off of her, completely thrown. He wasn't sure what to think. She couldn't possibly love me. Not like I love her. She wasn't thinking. It was just something she said. She didn't mean it. He ached to reach out and touch her, pull her close, but he had no idea what she was expecting. Instead, he stared at the celing, unsure of even what to say.
She bit her lip and fought back tears as the silence closed in around them. He doesn't love you, Eames...What have you done? She choked back a sob as she rolled onto her side to watch him. In the darkness, she could see his outline but nothing more. She hated not knowing what was going on inside that head of his. She started to reach for him but laid her hand between them on the bed. Closing her eyes, she willed him to sleep so that she could leave. She was too ashamed of herself to get up now. To let him watch her dress hurriedly in the dark and scurry away. She just couldn't do it. So she laid there until exhaustion from their love making won out and she found herself in a dreamless slumber beside him, but not with him.
Bobby quietly stared until he fell asleep, trying to understand why she was there. She wanted him there. He wanted to hold her, but he couldn't understand how or if she could possibly feel the same way. He was going to have to talk to her. He was going to talk to her in the morning. He was going to have to brave his fears and find out why she had come to him.
Right then, he was too exhausted and too fearful he'd chase her away. Instead, he let sleep finally claim him.
A few hours later, she woke with a start. It took a few moments for the sleep to ebb from her mind and for her to focus on where she was. Realizing that she was still in his bed, she brought her hand to her mouth to choke back the sobs. Why did this feel so right but so wrong all at the same time?
She stroked his cheek softly with her fingertips and whispered, "I love you so much." She then slid from his bed and dressed in the semi-darkness for the sun was just starting to rise. Slipping from his apartment, she let the tears slowly begin to start falling. Why was she doing this to herself? Why had she allowed herself to come to him? Why this time? Why now?