Well this mammoth of a one shot was supposed to be in honour of World AIDS Day which if you were unaware was on the first of this month and I totally missed so sorry about that. It's also the first Gummlee story I've written and I have to admit, I liked writing these characters. This story is set in the bad old days of the 80's when the crisis was at it's peak, homophobia was rampant and very little was even known about HIV. If you don't know much about it yourself then I'd recommend reading up on it. The history of what was called the 'gay plague' is both fascinating and terrifying; if nothing else it should make you glad you live in a more enlightened time.
Names! Again! So Cake is not a name we can realistically use for a real world AU. Cake therefore becomes Cate. Cate Gato. Like, Cake Gateau. Get it? And Neddy... yeah I know he's technically in the original universe not the gender swapped universe. But! Hear me out. If we know that Bonnie has a candy dragon brother in the original universe and we don't know Prince Gumball's first name in the gender swapped universe, is it hard to imagine his name is Neddy and he has a candy dragon sister who lives in the top of his palace? Well anyway, that's what I had in mind.
Content Warning: Character death, feels, homophobia, the 80's and all the awful junk that entails.
The letter arrived the same morning as the funeral. It didn't matter, he already knew what it would say. But with hands that resolutely did not shake Marshall unfolded the official diagnosis. Even though the rash spreading under his shirt, the sores on his face and the constant hacking cough that hadn't eased in months had told him everything he needed to know seeing it written there in black and white left him curled in the hall wracked by sobs and this time there were no strong arms to wrap around him and soothe his grief. There never would be again.
It felt like hours later but he managed to stand, wipe his eyes and face and stumble through to the kitchen to the phone. He hadn't dialled that number in more than five years but it was still ingrained in his mind, he didn't need to flip open the little blue address book they'd kept to check it. There was someone he needed to talk to, someone who might still give a fuck and might want the chance to see him while they still could. The line rang a long time before anyone picked up and it was the last voice he wanted to hear that answered. For a long moment he was frozen with ancient fear, unable to force the words out around the sudden lump forming in his throat
"Hello?"
"Um, hey. Can I speak to Marceline, please?"
"Who should I say is calling?"
He should have expected that their father wouldn't recognise his voice but it was still like a knife in is guts. He swallowed nervously, certain he knew what was about to happen.
"Marshall."
There was a sharp intake of breathe, a fumbling like suddenly shaking hands were trying to fit the handset back into its cradle, then the line went dead. So much for time being the greatest healer. Seven years and Hunson still couldn't stand to be reminded he even had a son. Marshall was still sitting chain smoking at the kitchen table two hours later when Fionna came to pick him up.
"Marsh, come on. You need to get changed. Have you eaten today? Or showered? Come on, buddy. We'll get you cleaned up." she muttered worriedly while Cate hovered uncertainly in the hall.
"Fi," he tried to argue, "I can do it. Just, had a shock."
"Come on. Ned wouldn't want you to look less than fabulous today." she replied distractedly. "I'll get you shaved and washed up, Cate can throw together a sandwich for you and we'll eat it before we go."
"No, you don't understand."
"Marshall, you just need to take it easy. It's rough on all of us today. But it's gonna be ok. We'll get through this." she soothed as she helped him into the bathroom and half-filled the sink with warm water. She picked up the wrong razor and began gently shaving him, tactfully ignoring the tears leaking down his face. Marshall held his peace until the burly blonde woman had finished and was washing away his week-old stubble.
"I'm trying to tell you something, hun. It's not just about Neddy. Fionna. I got the letter today. They did a test." he told her turned back as she cleaned up the sink. Fionna stiffened and turned to stare at him, suddenly terrified.
"No."
It broke his heart all over again to see the panic and horror in her eyes. But for all her anguish there was no judgement, no hint that she blamed him or felt any of the disgust that the majority of society associated with it. She was a better friend than he deserved, she'd never once said a harsh word to either of them not even when they'd deserved it. And she'd adored Neddy too, she'd been there for both of them more times than he could count. Neddy, Marshall, Cate and Fionna. They'd been an unstoppable gang of four since his first semester at college.
"I'm sorry, Fi."
"Not you too. Please, Marsh-"
"I didn't want to know but I thought, at least so I had an idea of how much time I had left?"
"But you were so careful!"
"Please, Fionna. It's like they said in the papers, it's a judgement on us. God's will. No amount of condoms and clean living can stop it once it's in your blood. I'm dying. I've got AIDS."
"Marshall." she sobbed, wrapping her arms around his throat and pulling him into a hug. That was where Cate found them a few minutes later, she didn't need to hear the words out loud to know what had just gone down. Standing in the hall it had been impossible to miss the letter on the floor and her natural curiosity had overwhelmed her; Cate hadn't meant to pick it up and scan it but it was almost like she couldn't stop herself. She placed the plate of sandwiches she'd made on the counter and came forward to join the hug with tears shining in her eyes.
"You know we love you, right?" Cate whispered against his cheek.
"Yeah. I love you guys too."
"And whatever happens we're here for you. We'll look after you." she continued.
"You guys are too good to me." Marshall murmured softly.
"You're staying with us tonight. Right now you're gonna brush your hair and change into your best black shirt and we're gonna go give Neddy the goodbye he deserves. And then you're coming home and getting your stuff and sleeping in my room tonight, I'll bunk in with Fionna."
He wanted to argue but he'd run out of energy to speak; even standing was taking a huge amount of concentration. But Cate was right, his Neddy Bear deserved nothing but the very best goodbye. And it wouldn't be for long. The life expectancy for most newly diagnosed men was around two or three years. Marshall had been ignoring the symptoms for longer than he was even aware of, too busy nursing Neddy and trying to make the most of the small time they had left together. How long did he have, a year? A month, maybe less? He had no idea, the letter had been full of information about infections and white blood cell counts but his eyes had blurred too badly with tears to make out the details. Marshall was fairly certain he had pneumonia too, maybe that was why his chest always felt too tight these days. Perhaps he only had weeks or hours.
"I need you to call my sister." he rasped after a few more minutes. "I wanna see her again before the end."
"Of course. Later. Neddy's waiting for us." Fionna told him quietly.
She gave him one last squeeze before letting go and smiling weakly at him. Marshall followed his college best friends into the bedroom he'd shared for more than half a decade with the love of his life and now slept alone in, let them dress him all in black so he was presentable to give Ned his last goodbye. Marshall felt hollow, empty. Perhaps he'd cried himself numb or maybe the disease had already killed his heart. He felt like he'd died the same night Ned did, just nobody had told his body yet.
...
"He looks peaceful."
"He talked about you a lot. He was so proud of you."
The open casket could have been morbid but Marshall was glad he'd followed his lover's wishes and agreed on it anyway. Neddy did look peaceful, he supposed. Too pale and too thin but his waxy face was almost smiling, as though he was glad to finally be free from his pains. When the end came it had been quick, unexpected. Ned's sister hadn't had a chance to say goodbye. Her tear streaked face was so like her younger brother's, the same pale freckles across her nose and the same wide, blue eyes full of emotion. She turned and buried her face in Marshall's chest, sobbing quietly.
"He w-was too young." the woman stuttered, overcome with grief.
"I know." Marshall whispered. He hugged her, even though he'd only met her a handful of times. She was some rising star doctor, Neddy had been too ashamed to go to her when he'd been diagnosed. But if there'd been any way to save his life then surely they'd know, surely the hospitals wouldn't just let them die? Even having a brilliant doctor as an older sister wasn't enough to save a young man struck down with the gay plague. Marshall felt it more certainly than ever; he was going to die too and it would be soon.
"Bonnie."
They both looked up at the cold voice; it was an older woman with a lined, weary face and a weight of grief bowing her shoulders. Marshall slid away from his boyfriend's sister instinctively; Mama Sugar hadn't ever been a friend to him.
"We're leaving, come on. Don't touch him." the woman commanded.
"Mama, he was important to Ned. I just wanted to-"
"He's infected. Who knows how many people he's killed with his filth? And now my sweet son is gone and you're standing making small talk with his murderer. Come away, and go wash your hands. That man is dirt."
"I'm sorry, you know how she is. I'll call you." Bonnie muttered before she reluctantly followed her mother out of the funeral home and into the pouring rain outside.
Marshall considered that perhaps he should be offended but the older woman was right in a way. Nobody was completely certain how this awful new disease was spread, when those infected with it were most contagious. For all he knew he had killed Ned. Maybe others, too. There'd been the occasional night or weekend with a few boys in the early days of college before a handsome, blue eyed angel had handed him a cupcake at a Halloween party and Marshall fell instantly and irrevocably in love. He barely even felt Fionna take his arm and lead him away.
"She had no right to talk to you like that." the blonde said furiously.
"Her only son just died and she blames me. It's understandable." he replied softly.
"It's disgusting." Fionna pushed. "You loved him, he loved you. If she can't accept that even when he's gone then she's an idiot. Neddy would have been so mad with her."
"And he'd have kept his mouth closed about it, too. He'd have been polite to her and told her he loved her and even thanked her for her concern. Ned was a gentleman." Marshall said with a sigh. He turned back to the casket and Fionna backed away reluctantly, letting him have his privacy. The only thing she could do for her friend now was make sure he had these last few precious minutes alone with his lover.
"I'm gonna see you again real soon." Marshall murmured quietly to Ned's pale, still face. "You were the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you, Neddy Bear. Forever and always. Sleep well, darling."
He leaned forwards and brushed a soft kiss against Neddy's cheek. It was stone cold, it felt so wrong. Ned had been so full of life, he'd been vibrant and warm and always so reassuringly solid. And now he was gone from the world. Marshall was glad that he was dying, in a way. Because it was unbearable to live in a world where every day didn't start with Ned's sleepy smile across the pillows and didn't end with trailing slender fingers through the golden peachy fuzz covering the other man's chest. How many times had they slept apart, sulking after some stupid argument or just too drunk and unwilling to disturb each other by stumbling around the bedroom in the middle of the night? Marshall would have done anything to have even one of those nights back, just to snuggle up with Ned one last time and fall asleep in those warm, toned arms. He turned away from the casket one last time and stumbled towards the door as his chest heaved with repressed sobs. Marshall had thought he'd cried himself dry but he supposed he hadn't after all. There was a never ending well of misery and agony inside him at the loss of Ned; even if he lived forever Marshall knew that he wouldn't exhaust his grief. However long he had left he would go to his grave still aching for his Neddy Bear.
That evening Marshall slept in Cate's bedroom while she called his sister. He was so easily exhausted now, a symptom of his worsening sickness, and just being at the funeral had been almost more than he could take that day. So Cate left him to rest while she looked up the number from Ned's old address book. She'd met Marceline a couple of times years ago and remembered her as a funny, charismatic kind of woman. Very much like Marshall had been before Ned got sick, before the light had died in the dark haired man's eyes and his face grew gaunt and hollow.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is that Marceline?"
"Yeah. Who's calling?"
"My name is Catelyn Gato, I'm friends with your brother. We met at his graduation."
"Cate, hello. This is unexpected, how can I help? Is something wrong with Marshall?"
She lowered her voice even though she could hear his soft snores; no need for him to hear her say it more than she had to.
"He's sick, Marcy. And he isn't gonna get better. He might not have long. We said goodbye to Ned today and I think Marshall's just given up. He asked to see you, if you can come over as quickly as possible I'd appreciate it. You might not get another chance."
There was a choked noise on the line like the other woman was trying hard to repress her sobs.
"He's- but, how? What's wrong with him? Not, no-"
"I'm so sorry. He has AIDS, we got the letter today."
It seemed like these days every emotion Cate could feel had been replaced with grief. Even the steady cold rain hadn't stopped for days, like the weather was grieving right along with her. She shared Ned's grief at leaving Marshall behind, Marshall's grief at losing Ned and now his sister unable to hold back the obvious agony in her voice as she cried for the brother she'd been forbidden from seeing for years. Cate hung her head and let the tears track down her cheeks, too. When she finally curled up on the air mattress on her best friend's bedroom floor the sound of all those tears haunted her, followed her into her dreams.
...
"Cate? Cate, get up! I'm calling an ambulance, Marshall can't breathe!"
She shot upright and stared around groggily before stumbling out of her sleeping bag and into the lounge. Fionna's hands were shaking as she tried to dial the emergency services. Marshall was stretched out on the sofa and one look at his thin face told Cate he really needed to go to the hospital. He was almost grey, lips beginning to turn blue around the edges. He looked at her with a kind of tired resignation in his eyes.
"Cate..." he gasped weakly.
"No, shh, save your strength. You're gonna be ok." Cate soothed as she crouched by his side. "Come on, sit up. It'll help you breathe."
He sat, with difficulty, but every breath was still a fight for him. He was grunting with the effort and the hollow of his throat sucked in almost painfully as his lungs strained. Cate could hear Fionna giving their address over the phone in the kitchen, panicking in a way that wasn't usual for the blonde.
"-Our friend, yeah, he can't breathe. He's had a chest infection for a while but he hasn't been this bad, it just got worse all of a sudden. I need to tell you, he has AIDS-"
"Hate... to think that... they'll worry about me in-infecting... them." Marshall panted.
"Just, shh, don't talk." Cate replied worriedly. "You need to save your breath. Your sister is coming today."
"Mar...cy?"
"Yeah. I called her last night, she wants to see you.
"...Good. Miss her."
"She misses you too. So you gotta save your breath, she's gonna want to talk to you."
"They're sending an ambulance, just hold on." Fionna announced as she hurried back into the room.
By the time the ambulance crew arrived every breath Marshall drew sounded like a death rattle. His friends were beside themselves with worry and the less than gentle way the technicians loaded him into the ambulance did nothing to reassure them. Even worse, neither of them were permitted to ride with him. Instead they were forced to load into Fionna's car and follow to the hospital. But the moment the oxygen mask was lowered over his face Marshall began to regain some colour in his cheeks and his breathing became a little easier. He shot a weak smile and waved to his friends before the ambulance doors were closed on him.
"Marshall Lee Abadeer." Fionna repeated to the bored looking woman on the front desk in the hospital. She shook her head again.
"Nobody of that name has come in." she shrugged, already turning to the next person at the desk.
"No, we saw his ambulance come here, we followed. I just need to know where they brought him."
"Alright, just give me a minute." she sighed with an eye roll before picking up the desk phone and dialing out. "Yeah hi, it's Candy. There's a woman here looking for someone just come in, a Marshall Abadeer? Uhuh. Oh... right, yeah."
Fionna's stomach did a weird lurch of fear as the expression on the woman's face changed from bored to serious. She felt Cate's hand slide comfortingly into her own and squeezed back automatically.
"He's already on the ICU." she informed them softly. "Just go straight up, they said to hurry."
It felt like a dream, or a nightmare. Any second Cate expected to wake up in her bed and find that the world hadn't gone completely crazy. She'd go to brunch with Marshall and Neddy, she'd go shopping with Fionna, everything would be normal. She kept telling herself that over and over as she followed her best friend up the stairs to the ICU, taking them two at a time and sprinting until her lungs burned. It was only when she turned the corner onto the ward and saw Marshall lying there unconscious with an oxygen mask over his face and an IV line into his arm that it became real. And all at once it was far too real, far too final. Marshall was dying right in front of her eyes. He was going to die and there was too much she hadn't even told him about how good a friend he was and how much she loved him and- Cate hadn't realised she was sobbing until Fionna pulled her into a tight hug.
"Will you sit with him? I gotta go wait for his sister. Call me the minute anything happens." the blonde woman said quietly. She squeezed Cate one last time before walking to Marshall's bed and pressing a kiss against his pale forehead then turning and hurrying away. But not before Cate saw the tears in her friend's eyes. She knew she wasn't the only one who'd realised that Marshall wouldn't be coming home again.
Cate slid into the seat next to Marshall's bed, took his cool, limp hand and stopped trying to fight the tears. He was twenty six years old, he should still have his whole life ahead of him. And instead he was dying slowly of a disease that nobody understood and there was no effective treatment for.
"Remember that time in college you insisted everyone call our exams 'cookies'? Because you can take a cookie or pass a cookie but you can't fail a cookie. I never forgot that, you know. You kept me sane through finals, you kept everyone laughing when we were about to cry from the stress. The world needs you, Marshall. You can't leave just yet. I know you miss Neddy, we all do, but you gotta hang on a bit longer. Marceline's coming to see you. Don't you wanna see your baby sister? She was so sad to hear that you're ill. And hey, remember that Halloween prank where you made Fionna think she'd stabbed you and you tried to get her to confess to being in love with you? I bet your cheek still hurts from how hard she slapped you, and you totally deserved it. Well dude, she's gonna slap you even harder if you go and die on us. Please hang on, bro. Just, just one more day. Please."
"You know, there's a lot of evidence to suggest that unconscious people can still hear you even if they can't reply." a quiet voice announced from behind her. Cate looked around to find she was being addressed by the same slender red haired woman who'd been at Neddy's funeral. She had her brother's eyes, it hurt like a hole in Cate's chest to see his features on someone else's face.
"He couldn't breathe this morning." Cate found herself telling the doctor as she looked over Marshall's chart with a furrowed brow.
"He's had an acute respiratory failure and his pneumonia is getting worse. There's nothing else to be done." Ned's sister said finally, eyes weary and face gaunt like she was feeling every last drop of the grief that was drowning Cate.
"His sister is coming to see him." she replied numbly.
"I hope she hurries. We've not been introduced properly, I'm Bonnie. Ned's sister."
"Catelyn. I lived with Marshall for a while in college."
They sat for a while and talked about Ned and Marshall and all the memories they'd made together while Cate tried to ignore the tears that still forced themselves from the corners of her eyes every now and then and Bonnie pretended she hadn't noticed. When the doctor had to leave to attend other patients Cate turned her attention back to Marshall, feeling somehow both better and worse than she had before Ned's sister had taken the time to get to know her.
...
Marceline hadn't really changed since the one time they'd met when she'd been the only family member to attend Marshall's graduation. She was tall and slim with very long dark hair and angular features, less square in the face than Marshall but still possessing the distinctively strict Abadeer jawline. Marshall had always hated how much he looked like his father; Ned had always kissed his chiseled face and told him he was handsomer than Hunson could hope to be. When her face pulled in tight against the grief that was ripping through her Fionna was painfully aware that Marshall's sister also had the same facial expressions and mannerisms as him, that she could read the other woman with ease despite having met her only once. They drove to the hospital in silence; Fionna had no idea what to say.
"I always liked Ned." Marceline offered as they parked. "He made Marshall happy. I visited them one time and he made crème puffs. Marshall was so mean, he laughed about it for ages but Ned was just proud to show off his skills."
"Ned loved baking. He was such a wonderful guy." Fionna agreed quietly. "I was his date for his graduation ball since he wasn't allowed to bring Marshall, he was such a good dancer. Did you know Ned could Charleston?"
That surprised a brief bark of laughter out of the other woman; Marceline goggled at her like she'd just revealed that Ned had been the first gay man on the moon.
"Oh I bet Marshall just loved that! He's such a drama queen." she smiled. The humour was brief though; after a moment her face settled back into lines of misery.
"If I know Neddy at all he's practicing his moves up in heaven right now and has already picked out an angel's robe in glittering white sequins for Marshall." Fionna replied softly. If Marceline was as much like her brother as she thought then she'd appreciate the dark humour. She didn't laugh or smile but there was a certain softness around her eyes when she regarded Fionna, like she was reassessing the blonde.
"Reckon you're right. Marshall always needs to make an entrance, he's gotta have the very best robes." she eventually replied. Then they were inside the hospital building together and all trace of humour was wiped from both their minds.
By the time they reached the ward it was almost dark outside; Fionna had waited at home most of the day for an unfamiliar car to pull up in front of their apartment building. They found Cate asleep in the chair by Marshall's bed, still holding his hand with dried tear tracks on her cheeks.
"Cate, hey, wake up." FIonna said gently as she dropped into a crouch by her friend and shook her shoulder. Cate opened her eyes blearily and stared at her in confusion for a second before the waves of recent memory crashed over her and she turned to Marshall's bed.
"He hasn't woken." Cate muttered in a raspy voice. "Doctor said he might not."
Marceline was on her knees next to Marshall's bed, tear streaking down her face as she stared the brother she'd been forbidden from seeing for too long.
"Marsh. Hey, it's Marcy. I got here as quick as I could." she murmured. "How are you, buddy? God, it's been too long. You've lost so much weight."
"Come on, we should give them some time." Fionna murmured, pulling Cate away and tugging the privacy curtain around Marshall's bed. They nearly collided with Bonnie as they came through the doors of the ward, she'd been hurrying up the corridor towards them with a file.
"Oh! Hello again. And, umm, Fionna?" the doctor smiled a little anxiously.
"Yeah. Good guess. Marshall's sister is in with him right now, were you coming to see him?" Fionna replied, a little guarded. She was still angry on her friend's behalf that Ned's family had been so rude to him at the funeral.
"Yeah. Just to see how he is. I'm afraid there's not a lot we can do except to make him comfortable and take away his pain while we wait for the inevitable. I can't do anything more, I'm afraid it's just a case of waiting for the end now." Bonnie replied softly.
"And which part of your Hippocratic Oath says it's ok to refuse to help faggots? Or do you just not think he's really a person?" an angry voice interrupted from behind them. Marceline had come to the doors of the ward and clearly she'd only heard the young doctor say they weren't doing anything to save her brother. Her eyes flashed dangerously and she had the same tight, thin expression of rage on her face as Marshall when he lost his temper.
"Marcy, this is-"
"I don't give a fuck who she is. I want someone to do something to save my brother's life! He's too young to die, he can't have pneumonia! It's treatable, why aren't you treating him?"
Marceline's voice had risen to a yell, patients and doctors were peering around doorways at her curiously and a sour faced older physician was bearing down on all four of them and almost vibrating with rage.
"Dr Sugar, tell your patients' family to control themselves or they will be escorted from the building by security! This is a hospital, full of very sick people! Screaming like that is unacceptable!" he shrieked at them.
"You know what? Fuck you, fuck you all! You can just fucking-"Marcy started, before Cate slid a hand over her mouth and dragged her back into Marshall's ward.
"So sorry, Dr Earl. He brother is dying, she's upset." Bonnie told him apologetically.
"You shouldn't even be here, Sugar. Your shift ended an hour ago and you're more of a hindrance than a help when you're still hung up about your own dead brother. Go home and don't come back until you can manage to be competent."
He spun on his heel and marched off. Fionna and Bonnie gaped after him, both rigid with shock.
"He's the most unprofessional doctor I've ever seen. He can't say that to you! Can he?" the blonde woman asked, shocked. Bonnie didn't reply and when Fionna turned to look at her there were fresh tears in the redhead's eyes.
"He's right, though. Dr Earl is one of the most unfriendly, antisocial people here and he always tells it how it is. I've fucked up too many times today, did you know this was my first shift back since Neddy died? I had to get one of the ward nurses to help me cannulise a patient twice and, and I can't afford to mess up this residency but I can't stop thinking about Ned-"
Fionna didn't know what to do so she did the only thing she could do. She slid one toned arm around the redhead's slender shoulder and pulled her into a hug until she'd regained her composure.
"Come on, let's go see how Marshall is. That was his sister, in case you couldn't guess." Fionna eventually said. Bonnie nodded and stepped back, obviously ashamed of her outburst.
"How is he?" she asked quietly as they slipped around the privacy screen. Cate shook her head, too distraught to speak.
"Dying. He's dying. His breaths are so far apart, isn't there anything you can do?" Marcy pleaded.
"I'm just a resident here, I only started a few months ago. And even if I'd been here for years there's nothing anyone can do. AIDS is lethal, there's no way to stop the infection. We don't even know how it works, how it's killing all these young men. I wish I could do something for them." Bonnie replied, still tearful.
"Sorry I yelled at you. I didn't even know he was sick, I haven't seen him in about a year. Daddy cut him off when he was in college, found out he was seeing this boy. He only managed to scrape through because our uncle paid for his tuition. And then Neddy got sick, Marshall promised they'd be careful so he didn't get sick too. But he's still dying and I didn't know. Nobody told me, he didn't tell me." Marceline choked out.
"Neddy didn't tell me, either. He just stopped calling and I was so busy with work I lost contact for a while. Then I met him in the market one day and he was so sick, his face was so thin and pale. I asked him right there, is it AIDS? And he started crying. I knew he was going to die, he couldn't even say the words. And I knew that meant Marshall would get sick too. God, I didn't want this for either of them."
Marceline took a moment, stared hard at the redhead before her eyes were drawn magnetically back to her brother's motionless face.
"You're related to Neddy." she said finally. It wasn't a question.
"His sister. He was a year younger, he was always our Mama's blue eyed golden boy. I knew since he was little, it wasn't a surprise to anyone when he went to a fancy catering college to be a pastry chef. But Mama, she was heartbroken. She blamed Marshall for 'turning' Ned, like if only they hadn't met Neddy would have been straight? But I could see how happy they were. I just wanted him to live how he wanted. It was hard to imagine a Ned without Marshall after they met. I guess Marshall thinks so too." she finished shakily.
After that there didn't seem to be much anyone could say. They sat in silence for hours, each watching Marshall's chest rise and fall with growing gaps in between each breath, lost in their own thoughts. The sun set outside the windows and Dr Earl stuck his head around the curtain, scowling to see Bonnie sitting there when he'd so brusquely ordered her to go home but electing not to yell at her again. He glanced at Marshall's grey face, down at his notes and then sighed and walked away. A small hiccupping gasp from Bonnie drew everyone's eyes.
"It won't be long now. I'm sorry. The only reason he's walked away is because Earl hates being there at the end, he doesn't like dealing with emotional family members. I'm so sorry, I'll give you space to say goodbye."
She went to stand but Marceline caught her by the wrist and tugged her back into her chair.
"Stay. He'd have wanted you here, he told me about Ned's big sister and how nice she was. I'm sorry we didn't meet under better circumstances. But he'd want you to be here."
Bonnie just nodded, sliding back down into her seat like she'd forgotten how to hold herself up. And perhaps it was a form of apology for her behaviour earlier or simply solidarity to another woman who'd lost a beloved brother far too young but Marcy unknowingly mimicked Fionna's earlier actions and slid one arm around the redhead's shoulder's to pull her into a hug. Cate and Fionna were crying quietly on the other side of the bed, telling Marshall their last goodbyes in low voices and Marceline wanted them to have the time to say anything they wanted to him in private. So she turned to the redhead and offered her a weak smile.
"Sorry I yelled." Marceline told her again.
"Don't even worry about it, I did worse than just yell at people when Neddy- anyway, it's fine. So you're the illusive musician sister Marshall used to tell funny stories about?"
"He didn't!"
"Yeah, he told everyone about the pranks he used to play on you. If it's any consolation it sounded like he did the same thing to everyone."
"God that guy was so funny. And we're talking about him in the past tense, he's still here. This is just... I don't have words for how badly it hurts. He's my brother, you know?"
"I do, I know. And I'm sorry. I wish nobody else ever had to feel this way." Bonnie replied. She looked down in surprise when a tear splashed against her hand; she hadn't even realised she'd started to cry again.
"Well, this is it you wonderful asshole. Finally going someplace I can't follow as if moving to the other side of the country wasn't enough for you. Take care of Ned, and say hi to our mother, yeah? I love you, Marshmallow. Dad's crazy mad that I came out here to see you but I don't give a fuck what he thinks. You never did either. Rest easy, sleep well." Marceline told her brother's still, ashen face. The tears were flooding down her dusky cheeks as she leaned in to kiss his forehead one final time.
And Marshall Lee Abadeer died, just like that. Marceline would always remember it as almost like he sighed just before slipping away, like he was so grateful to be relieved of his burdens and reunited with his soul mate. It was the most painful moment of bittersweet catharsis she'd ever experienced.
...
The days that followed were a blur. Marshall's funeral almost felt like a bad dream to Marceline, full of faces staring curiously at her, handsome young men who'd known her brother and had heard all of his stories about his funny little sister. She stayed with Fionna and Cate for a while but felt wrong about taking their sofa space. So she stayed in Marshall's now empty apartment. The first night sleeping in his guest room was filled with terrors and nightmares, she didn't fall into peaceful sleep until past dawn.
It was the sound of the lock turning and the door being pushed open over the plush rug that woke her and for a long moment Marceline didn't know where she was, crippled with terror at finding herself half-awake in an unfamiliar room. Then it all clicked back into place and she scrabbled hurriedly under the bed for the ancient baseball bat she'd liberated from the lounge the night before just in case, because she wasn't used to being alone and it freaked her out. The door was already half open and she tiptoed quietly from the room on silent bare feet, eyes narrowing in anger and fear when she heard someone who shouldn't be there rummaging around in the kitchen. She swung the bat and screamed at the same time, only registering that she recognised the pale ginger profile when it was already whistling through the air.
"FREEZE, MOTHERFU- Bonnie!"
The bat slammed harmlessly into the side of the door as the redhead in question shrieked and dove to the floor.
"WHAT THE FUCK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
"I was asleep! What are you doing here?"
"I came to sort out Ned's things, the landlord wants to move a new tenant in!"
"Oh."
The bat slid from Marceline's hand and all at once her bravery and adrenaline rush fled her. She slipped down onto the floor next to Bonnie and put her head in her hands.
"It feels like they're just away and I'm watching the place. I've gotta go home some time and I need to sort Marshall's stuff first. But where do I even start?" she muttered dejectedly.
"I know, it all feels so unreal. I didn't think you'd be here. Do you want some tea? I think maybe we both need a hot beverage before we begin." Bonnie replied. She reached out to put a comforting hand on Marcy's knee but hesitated, making the other woman look up.
"What?" Marceline prompted after a moment.
"Uh, you're not wearing pants."
"I was asleep. Do you wear pants when you're asleep?"
"Yeah? Pyjama pants."
They both chuckled weakly and Bonnie decided to just go with it and let her hand fall to the other woman's leg.
"Go put some pants on, I'll make some tea and we'll work this out together, ok?" she said into the awkward silence that settled around them.
The whole day was spent in solemnly packing clothes into donation bags for the local homeless shelters and wrapping trinkets and belongings in newspaper lined boxes. And that's all it came down to; two wonderful and beautiful lives amounted to nothing more than a few boxes of keepsakes and some bags of clothes. The furniture was all left for the next tenant save for Ned's whimsical cat clock that Bonnie claimed because she'd bought it for him as a birthday present a few years previously. They stood awkwardly in the hallway of the building, each with a box of possessions in her arms.
"So, um, are you heading out of town now?" Bonnie asked quietly.
"Not for another couple of days. Honestly? I don't wanna go back. I mean, I only stayed so Daddy wouldn't be alone but he spends most of his time at the office or on the golf course with his business buddies. I was thinking I might move out here, Cate and Fionna said they'd put me up for a while if I was looking for an apartment. Feels kinda weird to be in their place though, when I know that that's where Marsh... well. I guess I'll check the papers and try to find a place to stay." Marceline finished with a shrug.
"Y'know, I was actually looking for a new roomie. If you wanted. I understand if-"
"Really? When can I move in? Do you have a spare room?" Marcy asked quickly, in case the other woman changed her mind.
It was odd of course, at first. To sit and have breakfast with the sister of your dead brother's dead lover. But it didn't take long before they discovered they had plenty in common apart from their grief. Brunches were never quite the same, nothing could ever ease the ache of missing Neddy and Marshall. But at some point, Cate never really knew when exactly it happened, it became normal to hang out with Bonnie and Marceline. If the redhead's eyes were red and puffy like she'd been crying for her brother they all knew better than to mention it directly but she would find a paper bag of muffins with her name on it in the staff lounge at work. When Marceline went ghost and didn't leave her room for days she'd eventually be lured out by the delicious smells of Cate, Bonnie and Fionna creating a feast in the kitchen and eventually learned not to expect that they would judge or question her. And so life moved on, slowly, painfully, but as inevitably as the sunrise. Even years later Fionna always thought that Marshall and Ned must be looking down on them from heaven in their matching fabulously sequined angel robes and be smiling to see that their gang of four was still there, still supporting each other and bound by love. She couldn't think of a better legacy for the two most loving men she'd ever met.