Author's Note: After some time, I decided that all of my earlier fics will be revised for better understanding and I am beginning with this fic. It's a nice feeling to recap this story again and when I read it, I think that I missed a lot of parts and was actually wanting to add so much to it. So Ta-Da! This is the revised version. Plenty of revision but still sweet and romantic. Please read and review! I swear there are changes! Especially in the last part! xD
Disclaimer: I didn't own anything! ;)
No Warning because it was already beta-read and my beta-reader is AWESOME! X)
Winter had already been welcomed and it took the pleasure to drown the street in its thick snow, but Misaki was anything but intimidated. She didn't care about the thick snow or the rough walk she had to take to go there. All she cared about was to get to Takumi.
Soon, after moments of long walking in the cold, she was already standing before the same high rise building she had been to months ago and strangely, with similar reason.
I have to do this… she thought bravely despite that fact that her heart was coveting to jump out of her chest.
A mixture of annoyance and nervousness invaded her mind. Why the hell did she convince herself to go to his home and take care of him? The answer for that would be forever (but there were better chances, especially if somebody managed to break the walls she built so nobody could harm her boxed emotions) caged in the inner depths of her heart.
Misaki moved forward to her destination – his home – while she carried the biggest bag she had, full of her own things.
All she needed was two knocks for him to open the door, not really knowing that the girl he admired the most was standing at the front of his doorstep.
"Pres…" he mumbled with wide eyes.
"Can I come in?" she asked. Her tone was still stern and sharp and yet, it didn't hinder the shyness and uneasiness that wrapped in the thread of her voice.
And that demeanour made Takumi's heart flutter.
It couldn't be helped so a small, perfect smile emerged from his face.
Smiling only to himself, he moved to make way for her to enter his empty crib.
She entered his house and after she removed her boots, put on some slippers and set her bag in a proper place, she snapped her gaze to Takumi with crinkled brows and gritted teeth. Takumi was nothing but amused.
"Baka Usui! You still have a fever yet you still came out of the hospital! Do you really want to die that bad?" she yelled.
Misaki clutched his uninjured arm and hurriedly, but gently, pulled him further to the insides of the house.
Although it was not her manner to be gentle with him, and that was the last thing she wanted to do, Misaki still disobeyed her resolve on the matter and tried her very best to be placid in treating him.
"Stupid perverted outer space alien…" she muttered under her breath after helping him sit in his single sofa.
Takumi heard it and he couldn't help it when his lips tilted upwards. She always referred him as 'stupid' or 'perverted' and even told him that she really, really hated him, but nonetheless, she was here for him and that cute blush never left her face whenever they were very near. Like now.
Misaki stood in front of him and roamed her eyes on his face and body. There were pale, dark bags under his eyes, thin and injured.
She frowned and couldn't help but feel very sad. She didn't want to see him like this, again. She didn't want him hurt, especially if it was because of her.
Takumi sensed Misaki's distress and he knew very well what the reason was. Even though he was slightly glad that his favourite girl actually cared for him, he still didn't want to see her sad and upset.
Slowly, he lifted his uninjured arm and held her hand. Misaki was startled at first and she searched for his eyes. All that she could see was the smile and passion emitting from his emerald orbs and it made her blush.
Takumi on the other hand watched her flush and he inwardly chuckled. He was really weak when she looked cute. Not thinking twice, he moved her hand to the underneath of his chin and pressed his lips softly to her knuckles so she would understand that whatever happened, good or bad, he wouldn't mind as long as it was for her.
This only made her blush seven shades of red.
The truth was, these injuries were obtained because of her. If she didn't run after that robber, even though she already had what he had snatched from the old lady, she wouldn't have tripped over the bridge's low railing, fall over and be suspended in mid-air. She was suspended in the air because she didn't have the time to touch the ground for Takumi came in time and hugged her close thus receiving the impact that Misaki was supposed to accept. It was like what happened in the Footman competition.
In Takumi's perspective, wounds hurt and broken bones were the nastiest, but nothing could be worse than seeing the girl he loved be hurt or injured and knowing that he didn't do anything to prevent it. If possible, always, he would be at her side, protecting her from anything that would hurt or cause her pain because he didn't want those feelings to interfere with her smiles and blushes.
Misaki could clearly see what those eyes and that stare meant. It made her feel warm inside and so she couldn't help but give him a small, sweet smile.
Stupid Usui… she thought.
Realizing that he was holding her hand intimately, Misaki felt embarrassed and quickly removed their connection but gently so as not to hurt him. As far as she was concerned, she didn't want to cause any pain to this guy for the moment.
"I'll just go get the food mom made for us… You didn't seem to be eating right, so I brought some food…" she said making an effort to sound nonchalant and not shaky.
Quickly, she hurried to her bag and pulled out three bento boxes.
She sat on the floor in front of the small coffee table and placed down the boxes. She opened it one by one. Two boxes contained mouth watering foods and the other one contained… what was that? Rabbit apples?
While Misaki felt disappointed in her hand made rabbit apples, Takumi, for some reason was disappointed as well.
"Pres didn't make this bento…" he murmured.
Misaki lifted her head so she could look at him. Confusion and annoyance started to form in her head, nonetheless; she nodded to indicate that he was right.
"I only want to eat Misa-chan's hand made food!" he whined like a child with a matching puppy dog eyes and a pout.
Now, she really felt annoyed. A vein throbbed at the side of her head. She would not deal with a seventeen year old boy whining like a one year old baby!
Takumi kept on whining and it didn't take much time before she snapped.
"Listen! You're sick! You have a fever! You don't even look healthy! If you eat my cooking, you'll only make yourself feel worse! That's why you should eat proper food! Okay?" she yelled and she felt bad for letting her anger get the best of her again.
Like a young child that was scolded by his mother, Takumi dropped his head in disappointment and nodded gently.
Misaki watched him and she felt a little regretful for the yelling she did. But why did he want to eat her home-made food?
Does he really want to eat something I've made, like that white, fluid porridge? she thought.
She felt bad and a pang of guilt hit her guts.
What? I can't believe I am giving up on him! she inwardly yelled.
Sighing – she knew she had already lost to him – and with a line of pink crossing her face, she pointed at the bento with rabbit apples – more like rat apples – in it.
The edges of the peels were ragged and the ears were too small so it looked like a rat.
"Ano… I made these rabbit apples. Just like you requested, right?" she said not looking at him. What for? She didn't have the pleasure to see his reaction because of the reddened face she had now.
Takumi gaped but afterwards, smiled so sweetly. She was so sweet and cute. Definitely, her visit was making him feel better and better every single moment they continued to spend.
"If you eat and drink some medicine, you'll have this after you eat… Okay?" she said, totally ignoring his smile. She wouldn't dare to look at it. She was already embarrassed and his pretty smile wouldn't do anything good. She was aware that it'd just make her worse.
"Okay…" he replied in a hoarse voice that made her heart beat speed up.
Ignoring what she was feeling, she handed him the chopsticks and started to eat.
The sun had already set and the two admired the beautiful city lights outside the glass window of Takumi's apartment.
They had already finished eating. Misaki put away the empty bento boxes and stored it in her bag again. She said she'd have to leave soon so Takumi lead him to his door despite the feeling of not wanting to let her go.
He was in the middle of sulking when he noticed the big bag that Misaki hooked on her shoulders.
"Pres, why do you have so much stuff?" he asked wanting to know what that big bag was for.
She turned around to face him then held the door knob and slightly opened it.
"Oh…" she looked back at her bag then at him. "Mom and my sister are out and won't be coming home until tomorrow night… I don't want to be alone in the house so I decided to go to the manager's house or Erica's place. I think I will spend the night there. I have my stuff with me so that's why my bag is full…"
Takumi just watched her with a stoic expression. Misaki stared back. Assuming that he wouldn't say anything or ask anything further, she continued to open the door fully.
"Well… I got to go now… Take ca-"
"Can you spend the night here?" he suddenly said, cutting her off.
Misaki was not only startled but surprised as well because she didn't expect the offer and she couldn't believe that a big part of her really wanted to spend the night there.
"C'mon! Say yes! You know that you want to spend the night here!", said a voice inside Misaki's head.
"No! You should not! You know the protocol Misaki!" another voice inside her head said.
"Protocol? When did Misaki ever consider the protocol? Clearly, she did already violate a lot of protocols. And clearly, one of those is falling in love with Usui!"
"In love? Misaki is not in love! Uh… Infatuated maybe, but never in love!"
"How can you say that when I exist? I am the metaphor of her feelings that want to stay beside him… And I am the bigger part… Can't you see that whenever she follows me, she becomes happy because the stupid perverted outer space alien can give her happiness? Just because you always follow your mind and everything turns out to be alright, it doesn't mean that following your heart can't give the same outcome. Who knows, maybe the outcome will be a lot better… Right Misaki?"
"Shut up…" Misaki unconsciously muttered.
Takumi looked at her very confused.
"Pres? Is something wrong?" he asked, wariness and confusion laced his voice.
Misaki looked at him for a moment then shook her head but immediately averted her gaze and blushed.
"Well… Misa-chan? Do you want to stay here for the night?" Takumi continued to ask.
It took a few moments before Misaki realized what her inner voice had said. It was actually true! And damn, she couldn't help but to wonder what would happen if she followed it. Curiosity killed the cat and she thought she was willing to be bitten.
"Okay…" she murmured and dropped her bag to where it once resided, then without a word, stepped inside of the house again. Being in a hurry to avoid any embarrassment on her part, she didn't have the chance to see Takumi smile beautifully.
Cold yet strangely warm. The breeze of cold air and body warmth swirled around the dark atmosphere of his house.
Takumi lay on the sofa while Misaki lay on the futon beside his sofa. Both had their eyes closed but they knew they were anything but close to sleeping.
"Pres?" Takumi suddenly called, not withstanding the lack of sleepiness caused by the tension of spending the night with his love and the aches of having fever and flu.
She opened her eyes automatically when she heard her name. Inwardly sighing, she knew that that kind of call meant something, a request. And she knew very well that she was not in the position to disregard any request from him.
"What?" she responded and the annoyance was obvious in her tone.
"Can I sleep beside you? I feel kind of cold…" he said and his tone didn't hold any lies or mockeries.
Raising her body with one arm so she could touch him, she put her palm on his forehead to feel it.
She sighed when she felt under her palm that his skin was hot. It was true, he was cold because of the fever, nevertheless she moved to the side to give him space to lie.
Takumi could see every detail of her slender back since she decided to sleep on her side facing the wall and not him, but he knew that she was awake.
On the other hand, Misaki knew that he knew that she was still awake. She could feel his eyes boring into her back. Damn it! How could she get some sleep when firstly, they were lying on one bed only inches apart and secondly, he was staring intently at her? Damn! When would this stop bothering her?
She was too busy clutching the blanket to her chest that it startled her when he suddenly spoke.
"You already allow me to kiss you or hug you. You already said things that I didn't expect to hear from you, but I never hear you say that you like me, Misa-chan…" he said with all seriousness.
It was annoying, really. She wanted her romantic feelings to be kept from everyone, mostly from the very person she held the feelings for. But this guy, this guy was really trying his best to destroy that damn wall and she was not pleased.
"Oi Usui. What is this all about now?" she asked, clearly annoyed.
"I just wanted to know, Misaki. I can't always guess what you are feeling towards me," he replied with the same tone.
That's it! She could't have him, or let him take the walls down! She already broke down many rules and protocols for him, she didn't want another protocol that was between her and herself to go down again. He would not know how she felt for him!
Misaki turned her position to face him and she met his startled green eyes and agape mouth.
"Stupid Usui! I don't like you!" she hissed.
The moment she spilled the words, she regretted it without further ado. She clearly saw the slash of pain cross his eyes but he quickly made it disappear behind his thick brown locks.
He smiled, a very fake one, then turned to his side so this time, he was the one facing his back to her.
"Okay…" he said. Clearly, the tone of his voice shifted to something she found disturbing. "I must've teased you too hard. Good night, Ayuzawa. Have a good night's sleep."
At that moment, Misaki remembered what her mother always told her: "Speak when you are mad and you will regret it."
Why, of all times, did she forget that lesson now?
An hour had passed but Misaki remained awake.
Lying with her back flat on the bed sheet, she moved her head to the side to see the person sleeping beside her.
He was still facing his back to her. Now it was her turn to hopelessly gaze at someone's back. Sighing yet again, she stared at the ceiling. Because of her precious protocol, she just hurt the person she cared for the most, besides her family. What she did say was actually true, well, just a part of it. But still! It was true, and it'd be understandable if she continued her next words.
Moving to her side and lifting her head, she peeked if the guy was sound asleep and unfortunately, he was.
This time, she decided that the protocol should really be left behind and to let Takumi take a look at her boxed emotions. It was embarrassing but when she remembered his face and eyes that were contorted with hurt, she didn't care for the protocols or embarrassments any more.
Hesitantly but determinedly, she lifted her hand and placed it on left side of his head to brush away the soft brown locks sprawled over his ear. She moved her face closer to his and was actually aware that her breath would tickle his ear.
Although she assumed that he was still asleep, her coyness crawled again. Asleep or not, she would tell him her feelings. No boxed emotions or protocol would prevent her from confessing. After all that he had done for her, he deserved this.
"You didn't allow me to finish stupid Usui… What I said was true… I don't like you…" she gulped, "I-I love you… Takumi… "
Silence.
"I really love you…"
She paused for awhile. She did it! She said the word 'love'! She was the one that broke all the walls she built around her. All she needed to do was consume the aftermath and wait for the effect.
But there was no effect. He was still not moving. Deeply asleep perhaps.
Misaki was extremely disappointed because, even without admitting it to herself, she was presumptuous that he would awake and would react to what she had just confessed.
After moments of waiting, she gave up and silently moved her face away from his. He was asleep and he didn't hear what she had just said.
Frowning and feeling utterly thwarted, Misaki shifted herself and slept on her side with her back facing his back.
She insisted on sleeping and tightly closed her eyes. Was it a total waste to confess your long time hidden feelings when the object of those feelings didn't hear any of it? The answer was unknown. It was her fault that it turned out that way. If only she was not ill-tempered and stubborn, none of this would have happened.
Releasing a frustrated breath, she tried so hard not to let her emotions pour in the symbol of tears. She would not cry no matter how disappointing this confession had become. She would not cry even when the corners of her eyes were already gaining moisture.
"Why do I have to sleep with this kind of feeling?" she thought sadly.
She opened her eyes and noted that her vision was a bit blurry. Tears were already threatening to pour so she decided to close her eyes once more when…
"I heard that Misaki…" Takumi murmured in a hoarse voice corded with passion.
Her eyes widened and she felt herself trembling. Her heart beat sped up when she felt slender arms sneak to her back and glide all the way to her waist.
She felt Takumi lift himself as he placed his head close to her ear.
"I feel the same way too…" he murmured and his hot breath tickled her ear.
"I love you so much… Ayuzawa Misaki…"
It was not possible for her face to get redder but it did. And despite the hurt of her chest because of the loud pounding, she couldn't resist the fluttering glee around her system.
Intuitively, Misaki twisted her body so she could look at him and at the same time, Takumi raised himself so she was now underneath him.
Both were aware that they were very near each other and both were aware that the passion in their eyes was saying the truth.
Misaki felt the beating of his chest and was it kind of fast? Was he as nervous as she was? Misaki couldn't help but smile. She knew that kind of heart beat and she knew that his heart bellowed for her. This time was not for denial and this time was not for holding back.
Loving the gaze and smile of his beloved, a beautiful smile emerged from Usui's lips.
This time, it was true. This time, nothing else mattered but the confession that they just said earlier. This time, was the only thing mattered.
It was awkward yet at the same time, it felt like she was floating with the clouds. It was definitely a good feeling.
"It is nice to break all the protocols and all the walls down, ne Misaki?" a voice said inside her head.
"Shut up…" Misaki muttered.
She knew that Takumi heard it because he chuckled at her.
"Who are you talking to, Misaki?" he teased and again embarrassment crept in her insides.
"No one…" she said looking away.
"Then why are you telling someone to shut up?" he continued, still teasing.
"Nothing," she sternly replied, still looking away.
Takumi continued to chuckle and Misaki could feel the vibrating of his chest every time he laughed, just a recognition that they were very close.
He lifted his injured arm to touch her face while the good arm was leaning on the futon for weight support since he didn't want to crush her.
The touch of the bandages of his hand made her automatically search for his eyes. And the moment she settled those golden orbs to his emerald gems, Misaki's breath was taken somewhere else. It was like she was under a spell that nobody or anything could break.
They held the gaze for quite some time and the silence was deafening but it was soon shattered when his voice filled the air.
"Can I kiss you?" he whispered ever so gently and compassionately.
It was like a sea of emotions filled her being and she couldn't fight it so she just let herself drown in those feelings. He just asked for her permission to kiss her, and not the usual claiming; that was really something.
All that Misaki could do was to remain enchanted and nod.
He gave her a small smile and she noted that his cheeks were now flushed with something akin to pink.
Misaki watched his face get closer to hers and soon his half lidded eyes become fully closed. It was her prompt to close her eyes as well.
The suspension was tensing because she was expecting what was about to happen, yet it didn't take the pleasure of torturing her because something warm and very soft was pressed on her lips.
She missed it. She missed the sensation, the taste and the feeling of his lips. Damn! It was all that she had been craving for. Even her great talent of denying could not deny this one.
Her face was becoming hot and she was getting more and more embarrassed. She was about to pull away when she felt his lips moving against her.
An instinct couldn't be denied so after a little moment, her lips moved cadence with him.
They kissed for all they were worth, like it was the first time, the last time and the reason for why they were living now.
Each stroke, each caress and each feeling was nothing like the first time they kissed. This was the epitome of their passion.
They could kiss like this forever if not for the need of air, but Takumi was determined to leave something that was breath taking so before he fully withdrew his lips from her, he clicked his tongue and ran it over her bottom lip.
This made her eyes grow very wide – if it was even possible after so many surprises. He stared down at her and she was still gaping and it made him chuckle again.
"You are so red Misaki…" he said in a teasing yet husky voice.
It was too much. She felt like drowning.
"Stupid Usui…" was all that she could reply.
"So what if I am stupid? Misaki-chan loves me…" he said and once again he lowered his head so he could place a chaste kiss on her lips.
She didn't say anything this time and it was more than enough. He didn't need words from her. He was very much aware of what she felt and he liked, no, loved it.
She looked away and that was his indication to get off her and go back to her side. Once his shoulder hit the sheets, he quickly pulled her form to him and locked her in a tight embrace which surprisingly, she didn't have any objections for.
Takumi was beyond happy and pleased and if there were words beyond that feeling, that was what he had just felt when Misaki glided her arms around his waist.
He kept his grin to himself because he didn't want to intimidate Misaki and end up with her retreating from him. Staying silent was the best for this situation, after all, all good things that happened this day were spent in silence.
He heard her yawn and was aware that she was unconsciously tightening her embrace to him. After a few moments, she fell asleep.
Takumi savoured this moment. For sure, this was the greatest day that had happened so far. He could think of all the consequences and all the problems tomorrow but not tonight. It was a great night and even though he knew that there was a big chance that tomorrow they would go back to normal (courtesy of Misaki's stubbornness), he would never forget to acknowledge this day. He also knew that he would continue to tease Misaki about this event until it ingrained on her soul that he belonged to her and she belonged to him, only to him.
Before his sleepiness took over him, he murmured something…
"I love you …"
And he was sure he heard something in return…
"Me too… Baka Usui…"
I would like to thank Noeyyy! My beta-reader! This should be grammatically perfect! Thank you! Hope you enjoy!
-HISLIPS