Severus Snape groaned uncharacteristically as he reread the parchment held in his fingers. Setting the offending manuscript down, he pinched the bridge of his nose and ran through a mental rolodex of contacts that may be able to get him out of this mess. Coming up empty handed, he reclined slightly in his chair and took a deep breath. There was no alternative; Hermione Granger was to be his teaching assistant in a fortnight's time. He cursed.
The morning Hermione was to depart for Hogwarts dawned warm and bright. She rolled over to face the sleeping form next to her and groaned inwardly. She had had far too much wine at her farewell party last night, and the man laying beside her was proof of that. Disentangling herself from him, she gently tugged the sheet away and wrapped it around her nude body. She tiptoed into her adjoined bath, turning the shower on full force as she passed, and splashed cool water on her face. She showered and brushed her teeth quickly, wrapping a magically warmed towel around herself before returning to her bedroom. Her bed was set on the ground in an Asian style and she used her foot to tap the sleeping male form. He emitted a grunt and rolled over to look groggily up at her.
She smiled. "You've got to get up, Harry."
Harry groped across the floor and finding his glasses, he shoved them down onto his face. "What time is it?"
"Seven," answered Hermione absently as she dug through her drawers for clothing.
Harry yawned loudly and stretched before dragging himself to his feet. "I should get home,"
Hermione nodded as she dropped her towel and pulled knickers on, followed by a tank top. She leaned over to give him a fleeting kiss followed by a warm smile. "Alright, safe trip, yeah?" she muttered as she bounced up and down tugging her cords on.
Harry regarded her for a moment as he buttoned his jeans. "I'll, a, call you then,"
Again, Hermione smiled at him as she buttoned her top. "Harry," she said coming to him and taking his hands. "we don't have to do this,"
Harry looked at her curiously. "Do what?"
"All this awkward morning after stuff," she laughed. "We're best mates who occasionally shag. I'm alright with it."
Harry snorted. "Alright, that's good. I was never good at the emotional strings of a good shag."
Hermione barked a laugh. "No strings attached, mate. Have a good trip home and I'll see you at the Halloween Ball."
Harry picked up his wand and stuffed it into his pocket. "I still can't believe you'll be working under Snape." he muttered, shaking his head.
Hermione shrugged. "Maybe he's changed." Harry gave her an incredulous glance and she giggled. "Or not. Either way, he's the best. And I didn't spend four years studying potions to apprentice under anyone except the best. You know me."
Harry shook his head. "You are a brave woman, Hermione."
She flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked up at him from where she knelt beside her trunk. "I know." she laughed with a wink.
Hermione left her trunk in the coach and stepped down, shaking out her mane of curls. The ride to Hogwarts from Hogsmeade had been rather bumpy and she was feeling slightly queasy. Pushing the nausea aside, she surveyed her surroundings attempting to gauge her first return to the grounds since the final battle where she had lost so many. The castle looked as it always had; grand and welcoming, surrounded by ancient trees just beginning to show the tell-tale reds and yellows of the approaching fall. Her eyes swung immediately to the lake where Dumbledore's white tomb stood in contrast to the dark waters at it's edge. She felt a painful tug at her heart and she shook her head to clear it of such unwelcome thoughts. With a deep breath, she made her way up the front stairs and through the main doors, pausing to glance toward the great hall. She wasn't ready to enter there just yet, she decided and turned back toward the main staircase. Minerva McGonagall stood at the head, and hurried down to greet Hermione. The older woman wrapped her arms around Hermione warmly and peered through the spectacles perched on her bony nose up at her.
"How lovely to see you, my dear. It's been far too long." Minerva bubbled, linking her arm with Hermione's, and beginning to lead her toward the great hall. Hermione hesitated briefly and Minerva picked up on it immediately. She disengaged herself and moved to meet Hermione's fearful brown eyes head on. "Hermione, it is time to let go of your fears. You will find the hall almost just as you left it at the end of your third year. There are no bodies inside."
Hermione forced herself to smile. "I know that, Minerva. It's just the memories,"
"Child," she laughed gently. "we all have them. The only difference lies in those who let them take over and those who don't." she paused to regard Hermione. "Don't."
Hermione smiled sadly but allowed Minerva to lead her by the arm into the hall.
Her entrance was a bit of an anticlimax. She had expected to confront the four walls and see nothing but the bodies, of friends so close they were family, piled in the center. But she didn't. The hall did look nearly the same except that the four house tables were gone. They had been replaced by a monstrous circular table that could easily fit the entire student population around it's edges. The center was hollowed and a massive statue of bronze stood in the middle, depicting the four founders. They stood, forever smiling, their arms flung warmly about each other in a show of equality and brotherhood. The four house banners had also been replaced, Hermione noticed. They were no longer separate, but instead the four crests decorated the four edges of a massive shield, and hung brightly on banners around the room. She smiled. This is what they had been fighting for.
Her train of thought was interrupted presently by a loud and raucous bellow of her name. She looked up, put off by the volume, then smiled as Hagrid bounded toward her. He caught her soundly in his arms and swung her around once before setting her back down.
"How 're yer?" he boomed nearly shaking with happiness.
"I'm wonderful, Hagrid, how are you?" she said warmly patting his large hand.
"Good, good, I can't complain. Olymp and I built just 'er lovely house at the edge o' the Forbidden Forest an we got a littl' one on the way."
Hermione grinned widely. "Oh! A baby! How wonderful, Hagrid. Congratulations!"
He blushed lightly and nodded enthusiastically. "Thank ya!"
Minerva smiled up at Hagrid. "I've got to get Hermione settled, they're be plenty of time for merry making later." she explained kindly.
"Oh, o' 'course, Minerva. I'll catch up with yeh later, 'Mione."
Hermione nodded and squeezed his large hand once more before allowing Minerva to lead her forward.
"Now," Minerva went on as if there'd been no interruption. "let's get you to Severus' chambers and get you situated."
Hermione felt her stomach do a tumble. "Am I to be staying in the dungeons with him?" she asked, feigning nonchalance.
"Oh," Minerva laughed. "While the Potion Labs remain in the dungeons, Severus' rooms and offices have moved up." Hermione nodded mutely as Minerva led her through a door at the back of the head table in the hall and up a winding staircase that Hermione did not remember ever existing. Her confusion must have shown on her face because Minerva chuckled and offered an explanation. "We made a few upgrades during reconstruction. The number of incoming students went through the roof, and we just didn't have enough room to accommodate them all. The house dormitories have been nearly tripled in size, the classrooms doubled, the greenhouses vastly enlarged, and the potion labs span the entire dungeon now. Severus had no choice but to move up."
Hermione smiled, it was good to see Hogwarts flourishing in the aftermath of such tragedy. They had reached the head of the stairs where there was a small landing that was home to two doors, each facing the other. Minerva opened the door to the left and motioned Hermione in first.
Hermione did a quick double take. The rooms before her were an exact duplicate of her flat in London, right down to the cherry blossom tree she had painted on the wall. She shook her head slowly and turned her confused gaze back on Minerva.
"Hmmm," the older witch mused, wandering into the flat. "I had wondered what it would look like. You have impeccable taste, Hermione." Again, Hermione shook her head with an amused smile. "It's a homing charm. It recreates the owners home when he or she enters for the first time." Hermione nodded her understanding absently as she ran her fingertips lightly over the antique table in the entrance way. "It's especially lovely if you want to pop home for a weekend." Minerva went on, inspecting some decorative trinkets on a nearby shelf. "Anything you place inside here will be there when you reach it. And vice versa. You'll never have to pack again."
"Thank you, Minerva. It was a lovely thought. I love it."
"Good, good. Now, I'll see that your trunk is sent up and give you some time to freshen up before dinner tonight. Professor Snape's office and private apartments are just across the hall if you want to pop in and say hello before then." Minerva hugged Hermione warmly again. "I'm absolutely thrilled to have you returned to us, Hermione. I'm very proud of you." she released her and with one last glowing smile took her leave.
Hermione moved toward her bathroom but upon hearing rustling behind her she spun, wand at the ready. Crookshanks came padding in from the kitchen and paused to eye Hermione curiously. Hermione lowered her wand, thoroughly startled, and bent to pat the fat cat's head. She had left the cat at home until she secured permission to bring him and Harry was going to stop by before and after work everyday to take care of him. If the cat was here, would Harry too appear when he came to feed Crookshanks? Making a mental note to run the predicament by Minerva and owl Harry after dinner she left the cat and continued to the bathroom to freshen up. After nearly twenty minutes of stalling Hermione decided it was time to go and see Professor Snape. Heading toward the front door, she stopped, puzzled. There were two front doors, both identical. She took the handle of the one to the right and opened it slowly. She was confronted by the hallway of her old apartment building. Fully understanding the charm's genius she closed and bolted the door, then opened the left and crossed the landing to knock on Snape's door. She stood waiting for a very long moment before she heard a bolt sliding and the door was flung unceremoniously open.
"What?"
Hermione started. "Oh, sorry, I, ah, just wanted to say hello."
Snape's dark eyes raked over her slightly quivering form. "Hello."
"I'll just, ah, go then. I'll see you at dinner," Hermione stammered as she backed away.
"I do not dine with the other teachers before the school year begins; there is too much to prepare for my classes. You might as well come in, Miss Granger, there is business to discuss." He stood to the side, allowing her entrance.
Hermione entered slowly taking in the room around her. It was obviously his professional office, a massive dark wood desk sat centered with two austere wooden chairs facing it and a large upholstered wing back chair behind it. The stone walls were blank, save for a large banner of the original Slytherin emblem on the far right wall and a large oak door on the left. He swept toward his desk, his black robes billowing behind him, and motioned for her to sit in one of the severe wooden chairs as he took the one behind his desk. Hermione moved quickly and perched at the edge, nearly trembling as he laced his fingers under his chin and regarded her stonily.
"Why potions, Miss Granger? Your worst subject during school and you have decided to make it your life's calling?""Divination was my worst." she answered shortly.
"I said subject, Miss Granger, not play time. Keep up." he snapped.
Hermione narrowed her eyes. "I did exceptionally well in your class, Professor Snape."
"I am not referring to you ability but to your inclination. My class was your least favorite." he waved his hand dismissively when she attempted to deny his allegations. "I care not. Tell me though, Miss Granger, how are your brewing skills?"
"Very good." she answered without hesitation.
"I will accept nothing less than excellent," Snape drawled. "let us hope you will endeavor to continue to improve." Again he continued over her protests. "Now, allow me to explain to you the basic rules you will adhere to under my direction. The student population has increased threefold this year and as a result all the teachers were forced into taking a teaching assistant. Obviously," he added with some venom. "we had no say in who the assistant would be. Your duties will be very straight forward, Miss Granger. You are to assist the students with brewing after I have given the lesson. My class size has jumped from twelve to nearly thirty and I haven't the time nor patience to round the classroom myself. You will hold office hours to help the imbecile's that are lost in the subject, and you will be responsible for brewing a number of mundane potions for St. Mungos each week."
"St. Mungos, sir?" Hermione asked quietly.
Snape sighed deeply. "Yes. The influx of students means that there are more on scholarships and to offset the cost we have secured a contract with St. Mungos to fill their need for basic medicinal potions."
"I see." Hermione said, raising her head high. "Is that all?"
Snape drummed his fingers on the desk. "In addition to a number of other monotonous duties that Minerva will dictate to you over dinner this evening." Hermione nodded. "If you prove yourself an asset you will be given more responsibility with the students and brewing. If not, you are easily replaced. Questions?"
"Where will I hold office hours?" she asked evenly.
"The library or potion labs, I do not care where you hold them as long as you deal with the idiots." Snape said, standing, indicating that their meeting was at an end.
Hermione nodded and stood. "Thank you for the opportunity, Sir."
Snape smirked as he held the door open for her. "It was not my choice to offer it to you."
Hermione let out a frustrated sigh as she heard the lock slide into place behind her. This was going to be a long school year.
Hermione was settled between Minerva and Professor Flitwick at dinner listening to Minerva tick off her regular duties she would be responsible for. Between the hall duty, and Hogsmeade weekends, office hours, brewing, and heading up at least one school club, she wondered if she'd even have time to breathe.
"There have always been students that wanted to start a potions club, but Severus has always refused." Minerva explained with a scowl. "Truth be told he refuses to perform any duty I set for him. The club he refuses based on the brewing he has to do for St. Mungos. Maybe you can start a potion club, dear."
Hermione bit her tongue to keep herself from revealing that Snape had already handed off the brewing duties to her. She simply smiled sweetly and nodded noncommittally. Minerva turned to converse quietly with Angela Johnson on her left. Angela, Hermione had found out, had been Minerva's teaching assistant for two years previously and was teaching the classed regularly. It was whispered that Minerva was considering retiring from teaching to focus on her head mistress duties and that Angela was positioned to take over.
Professor Flitwick turned to her and she found herself lost in a hopelessly boring discussion on the principles of fire charms. The dinner dishes had long since vanished to the kitchens below and Hermione was certain that she would fall asleep at any moment if Flitwick kept up his enthusiastic one sided conversation. Her reprieve, strangely enough, came in the form of Severus Snape. He swept into the great hall and after giving Minerva a stiff nod, directed his stormy gaze upon Hermione.
"Miss Granger," he drawled. "If you would see fit to disengage yourself from the ever-fascinating charms professor, I will require your assistance in the laboratory post haste. I trust you remember the location." With that, he spun and stormed from the room.
Hermione blushed and apologized profusely to Professor Flitwick before rising with as much dignity as she could in a room where all eyes were upon her in stunned silence, and began to make her way from the hall.
"Hermione," Minerva called, half rising.
Hermione paused and looked back over her shoulder.
"Severus is a difficult man, of that I have great understanding. However, do not allow him to bully you or demean you in any way. Any such actions I will expect to be reported to me immediately."
Hermione nodded and flashed her a brief smile before exiting the hall.
Her heart raced as she descended into the dungeons wondering why he was still so cruel to her even after what had happened during the final battle. Pushing her worries aside and straightening her spine proudly, she entered the dungeon where Severus was pulling potion ingredients from a shelf.
"Miss Granger, please fetch a solid gold cauldron from the store room." he instructed without looking her way.
"Professor," Hermione began softly. "I do not appreciate being spo,"
"Gold. Cauldron. Now." he snapped, turning his annoyed gaze toward her.
With an exasperated sigh, she turned went into the store room. She emerged a moment later dragging a large golden cauldron.
This time, Snape let out a dramatic sigh, pointed his wand, and levitated the cauldron from her hands to the bench in front of him. "You are a witch, yes?" he snapped.
Hermione slapped her hands on her hips and glared at him.
"Defiance so early Miss Granger?" he mocked as he began to add ingredients to the cauldron."Why do you hate me so, Professor?" she asked, dropping her arms and coming forward slowly.
"I do not believe hate is the correct word for what I feel towards you." he said absently as he glanced over the recipe on the bench.
"What is then?" she pushed.
Snape looked up, annoyance clearly displayed over his features. "Irritation, aggravation, exasperation, frustration, shall I continue?" he spat.
Hermione's first instinct was to shrink back, but she fought it and returned his insults. "And you think that I do not feel the same of you?"
Snape did not show any sign of caring what she thought of him, but regarded her for a long moment before speaking again. "I believed, Miss Granger, that I was assisting you out of a terribly mind numbing experience upstairs. However, if you would prefer to listen to Flitwick drone on about fire charms and their various applications, by all means - return. If you would instead like to use that brain inside your head please fetch yourself another cauldron and begin brewing a double batch of Pepper Up potion."
Hermione paused. "You were doing something nice for me?"
Snape pinched the bridge of his nose. "Pepper Up potion or leave, Miss Granger. Your incessant prattling is giving me a head ache."
Smiling gently, Hermione returned to the store room and levitated out a simple copper cauldron. She settled it onto a table opposite Snape then went to the shelves to fetch her ingredients.
Such a simple potion, she knew it by heart, and was back at her table and beginning to brew momentarily. She bent over her cauldron attentively, chewing on her lower lip as she measured out and added ingredients.
Snape chanced a glance her way and watched her for a moment through the veil of his long hair. She had certainly grown from the last time he had seen her.
Her figure had matured accordingly, and her uncontrollable mop of curls lengthened. She may have even gained a few inches, he thought. However, it was not the new curves or mess of curls that interested Severus. She seemed, he mused, to be carrying herself with a grace of a woman instead of the insecurity of a child. Four years ago she would have never dared show any sign of insubordination toward him openly. She would have never demanded any answer from him, nor returned his frosty glares with equal ice. Yes, he could still make her nervous, but she was holding her own.
He'd noticed that now she stood taller, her head held high, her jaw pronounced and set with determination. She no longer glued her eyes to the floor when he spoke to her, but met him as an equal match. This he found, surprisingly, pleased him.
He hastily returned his eyes to his work when she turned to glance at him. He refused to raise his eyes and acknowledge that he'd been watching her. Eventually the feeling of her eyes left him and he flicked his eyes up briefly to see that she had returned to her work. They continued to work silently into the night.
Hermione finished her batch of Pepper Up potion and summoned vials from the store room to begin bottling it. As she ladled it into each glass phial she would occasionally glance up at Snape as he worked on what seemed to be a rather complicated potion.
His black hair was much longer, brushing his shoulder blades, and bound into a neat ponytail. It was, she noticed, clean and healthy looking. She also noted that while he was still exceptionally pale, the sickly sallow tinge was gone and he even an almost healthy blush to his face. He had put on weight, not unbecomingly, and his frame was more full. Now that he was not under the constant pressure of living a double life, Hermione reasoned, he must be taking better care of himself. He still had that damnable beaked nose though, Hermione thought smugly.
Finished with her task, she lined the bottles neatly across her table and approached Severus' bench slowly.
"I've finished, Sir. Is there anything else you require?" she asked.
Snape glanced at her table full of phials. "You're certain you measured the correct dose into each container?"
"Of course," she answered haughtily.
Snape smirked at her boldness. "Box them and floo them to St. Mungos. Then you may go."
Hermione did as she was instructed, and picking up her sweater from a nearby table as she went, addressed Snape once more. "What are you brewing, Professor?"
Snape glanced up. "A potion of my own devising. Goodnight, Miss Granger."
Hermione forced herself to smile warmly at him. "Goodnight, Professor."
Snape watched her stride from the lab and smirked while shaking his head.
The week before the students returned passed in a surreal blur for Hermione. Neville had returned to assist Professor Sprout and Hermione was thrilled for the company. They spent all of their free time together strolling the gardens, visiting Hagrid, and catching up on the last four years. Never once did they touch on the topic of the final battle; the wounds still too fresh for either of them.
As it happened, Harry did show up once in her apartment and had descended into the great hall in a state of confusion. Minerva convinced him to stay for dinner and afterwards Hagrid had dragged him down to his new, and consequently, massive home he shared with Olympia. After promising Minerva and Hagrid repeatedly to return, possibly as a guest speaker in Defense class, Hermione had led him back up the winding stone stairs to her apartment. As they reached the landing, Harry caught her in his arms and kissed her soundly on the lips. She returned his kisses eagerly then pulled away gently, allowing him to keeps his arms around her.
"What was that for?" she giggled.
"I miss you, 'Mione." he replied huskily.
"I miss you too, Harry. But we've talked about this; it would just be too strange to be together."
"I know," he agreed and kissed the tip of her nose. "but it doesn't mean I can't miss you."
Hermione smiled and kissed his lips softly, but pulled away almost violently as Snape rounded the curve of the stairs. He stopped dead-in-his-tracks, and Harry dropped his arms from around Hermione and scowled at his former professor.
"Potter," Snape hissed.
"Snape," was Harry's snotty reply.
"Miss Granger," Snape spat, turning his attention toward her. "I understand that there are not students in the castle at present, however in three days time there will be, and you would do well to keep your bedroom escapades" he snarled, raking his eyes over Harry. "in your bedroom."
Hermione colored instantly and glared icily at Snape. "And you, Professor, would do well not to sneak around the castle nor speak to me in such a demeaning manner."
With that she grabbed Harry's hand and marched into her apartment, slamming the door behind her. Snape was left dumbfounded on the stairs.
Hermione managed to successfully avoid Snape until the night before the students were to arrive. She would have happily continued to avoid him until the first day of classes if he hadn't cornered her on their landing as she was leaving to take a walk around the lake with Neville. She cursed under her breath and followed him into his office as he requested. She settled herself on the rough wooden chair, crossing her legs, and tugging at the short flowered skirt she was wearing. Snape watched with hidden amusement as she fidgeted with her short skirt, feigning a modesty that he had, no doubt, scared into her when he'd caught he with Potter.
"Miss Granger," he began as he slid a piece or parchment toward her. "here is the schedule of potions classes for the year. You will, of course, be present at every class. You may pencil in your other duties as you see fit. I suggest leaving Tuesday and Thursday evenings open, as that is when I brew for St. Mungos and will expect you to join me."
Hermione took the parchment, gave it the briefest of glances, then flicked her gaze back to Snape. "Is that all?"
He sat back in his chair and laced his fingers beneath his chin. "You've no questions, no comments, nothing to prattle on about?" he asked bemusedly.
Hermione stood. "I'm not a child, Professor." she said coolly. "I can read a simple schedule, and any questions I have will be general and directed to someone whom has the ability to answer then without demeaning me. Now, is that all, Professor?"
Snape gazed up at her quietly, then gave her a slight nod of his head to dismiss her. She turned on her heel and left, slamming the door behind her.
The evening the students arrived it rained torrentially; thunder and lightening were scorching the sky. The first years arrived in the entrance hall with Hagrid, sopping wet and shivering. Hermione and Neville joined Minerva casting drying and warming spells one after the other until all the children were comfortable, and equally in awe of the magic they had witnessed.
Hermione sat beside Neville at the smaller table beside the teacher's head table and watched the sorting ceremony attentively. As it turned out, students were still sorted into houses based on their personal characteristics. The round table and new crests simply served to teach everyone that they were equals.
Hermione would find out soon enough, that the houses still feuded.
Once everyone had settled themselves around the massive table, in house groups Hermione noted, Minerva gave the customary welcoming speech. She ran through Filtch's rules, including the long list of the Weasley joke paraphernalia that was banned, then introduced the teachers, and finally the teaching assistants. When Hermione's name was called and she stood, she was shocked to receive a thunderous standing ovation. And more so, when she saw Snape applauding along. He gave a slight tilt of his head and she nodded in return. Hermione blushed and Neville grinned up at her as all of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and most of Slytherin stomped, clapped, cheered, and whistled.
She knew that she'd gained a good amount of fame as part of 'The Golden Trio' as the Daily Prophet had called Harry, her, and Ron. She also knew she had received a great amount of credit for the fall of Voldemort. But the display she was receiving she had never seen, let alone expected, before. Blushing furiously she sank back into her seat and tugged at Neville's arm to get him to stop applauding.
She ate her dinner with her eyes glued to the floor from sheer embarrassment and for the fact that if she looked up she usually received a whistle or cheer of some form.
By ten 'o' clock the hall had emptied and she bid Neville goodnight before ascending the stairs at the rear of the hall toward her apartment. She met Snape halfway as he descended to check in on the Slytherin house. He simply nodded as he continued past her without so much as a word. Frustrated, Hermione entered her apartment, went straight to bed, and slept fitfully through to morning.
Her first class with Snape was a disaster. It was a double potions with first years Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw and Snape was in a right foul mood and he had no problem taking it out on the first years who sat huddled behind their desks in fear. Two had burst into tears and run from the room when Snape had ridiculed their potions. It was all Hermione could do to follow in his wake and offer the trembling students a smile or a few soft words of encouragement.
She thanked Merlin when the bell rang and the students were dismissed, who all ran out as if their lives depended on it. As soon as they were alone in the ten minutes before the next class was to arrive, Hermione turned to address him.
"What's wrong with you?" she snapped. "How dare you do that to those poor children. You're positively a monster!"
Snape flicked his gaze up at her from his desk. "Your insubordination irritates me, Miss Granger."
"I don't care!" Hermione went on bravely. "The way you treated those children was reprehensible."
Snape sighed and rubbed his temples. "If you do not care for the way I run things here, Miss Granger, perhaps you should put in for a transfer. I hear that Nichols in the Himalayas is a particularly good school."
"I'm not putting in for a transfer after I fought tooth and nail to work under you," Hermione began then stopped short when Snape's head snapped up.
"You did what?" he asked quietly.
Hermione shook her head and looked away, frustrated beyond belief.
Just then, a few of the second years were approaching the door for their class. Snape flicked his wand, slamming and locking the door in their faces.
"Professor!" Hermione snapped.
He ignored her protest, rose, and came towards her. "You did what?" he repeated.
"What are you talking about?" she moaned, irritation written across her face.
"Did I hear you correctly, Miss Granger, that you requested to be placed with me?" he demanded as he came closer.
"What? Yes, of course. Why?" she asked in confusion.
"Why? Why would you do that?"
"What do you mean, Professor?" Hermione asked, all too aware of his dangerously close proximity.
Snape grabbed her upper arms forcefully and shook her roughly. "Why, girl, why? Why did you ask for me? After everything that happened, why couldn't you just let me alone?"
Hermione shook her head in confusion, panic rising in her chest and squirming against his vice-like grip. "You're hurting me," she whispered.
Snape stopped and immediately dropped her as if she'd burned him. She scrambled backwards rubbing her arms protectively.
"Go," he commanded, turning away from her.
"Professor," Hermione began shakily.
"I SAID GO!" he bellowed, pointing his wand at the door and flinging it open with a deafening bang. The students in the hall screamed. "GO!" he yelled again.
Hermione turned slowly toward the students in the hall. "Class is cancelled," she said evenly. "there has been an emergency of a personal nature that requires Professor Snape's presence elsewhere. We'll make up for it during your double potions tomorrow." she explained as she herded the kids away from the classroom and towards the stairs. "Return to your dormitories for the remainder of the period." she instructed with a forced smile as she ascended with them.
Once she saw them off, Hermione turned on her heel and rushed toward Minerva's office. Halfway there, she reconsidered, turned again, and made her way toward the dungeons. This was obviously a personal matter with him and she resolved to handle it herself. Hermione's heartbeat quickened with every step into the cool damp of the dungeons but she forced herself to continue down.
She found him settled at his desk, hunched over with his head in his hands. Cautiously she moved into the room and waited.
"Sit," he said tonelessly without looking up. He waved his hand toward the door and it closed quietly.
Hermione moved slowly forward and settled herself on the top of the closest table to his desk.
"I apologize, Miss Granger. It is absolutely unacceptable for me to ever put my hands on you." He began, glancing up at her and continuing to rub his temples.
"Yes," Hermione concurred. "it is. However, before I accept your apology Professor, I will require an explanation for your actions."
Snape sat back and regarded the witch before him mutely for a very long time. As the minutes ticked by he could tell she was becoming more and more nervous by the way she began to fidget.
"Miss Granger," he said finally. "you should have let me die."
Hermione sat back in shock. "Pardon me?"
"For years I lived a life that I would not wish on my worst enemy, Miss Granger. I had suffered fates and witnessed atrocities that would scar you irrevocably. I had reached the end and I was at peace with that. But then you had to cast that damnable stasis charm and hold me at the precipice until you sent help. For hours, I lay there between life and death wishing that something would happen to push me over to the other side. But then Poppy came and my true hell began. Have you ever worked magical venom from your veins? Have you any idea how incredibly painful it is? How many nights I prayed to every God in every religion that it would be my last? I paid my dues, Miss Granger, I'd made my peace, and you tore that last hope of everlasting peace away. You damned me, Hermione, damned me to live until the day I die."
Hermione opened her mouth to speak, then closed it. Unwillingly, tears filled her eyes and she looked away as the first coursed down her cheek.
Snape sighed at the emotional spectacle before him. "You asked for an explanation and you've gotten it. To see you everyday reminds me of the paradise I lost."
Hermione looked at him. "I couldn't let you die," she wept.
"Why? What had I done to deserve to live?" he spat, rising and beginning to pace the width of the room.
Hermione jumped down off the table and came face to face with him. "You are a good man, Professor."
Snape waved his hand impatiently and turned away. "I am a monster."
Again Hermione went to him, this time placing her hand against the alabaster of his cheek. He stiffened but she held resolute. "Severus Snape, you are a good man and you did not deserve to die. You are not a monster, but a hero, a man that without which the war would have been lost long ago."
Snape narrowed his eyes, aware of the warmth of her hand on his cheek. It had been a very long time since he had been touched without the intent of harm. Her face was pink and wet from the tears she was still crying as he stood silently savoring the sensation of her hand on his cheek.
"I'm sorry, Professor," she whispered. "but I would not change a thing if I could go back. I still would have saved your life because you, above most, deserved to live."
Very gently, Severus took her wrist and removed her hand from his face. "Miss Granger," he began. "I appreciate the nobility of your statements, but on this I will not waver. I've no right nor desire to be here."
Hermione wiped at her face. "Professor, on this we will agree to disagree for the time being."
Snape nodded once then turned away from her and moved toward his desk.
"I'm going to my apartment to wash my face. I will see you after the lunch hour." Hermione said as she moved toward the door. She paused and turned back to him. "Unless, of course, you wish for me to put in for a transfer."
Snape flicked his eyes toward her. "That won't be necessary."
Hermione smiled, nodded, and left the classroom.