This takes place midway through Premium Steele, after Laura and Steele arrive at the Motor Inn, seeking refuge from the people out to kill them.
My appreciation, as always, to the person editing for me. I couldn't have done it without her.
As always feedback is appreciated. Feel free to drop me a line at RSteele82 at the dreaded hot mail dot com.
Is there a one off you'd like written that occurred during the series? If so, let me know and I will see what I can whip up
Steele Finding Comfort
Laura sat in a chair close to the hotel room door, anxiously awaiting the arrival of Steele. At the quiet rap on the door, she stood and walked to the door.
"Yeah?" she asked softly.
"It's me," Steele replied in equally measured tones.
Laura opened the door for him.
"Hi."
"Hi," she replied, locking the door behind him.
Steele crossed the room and sat down on the end of the bed.
"I just left Lester. He's sound asleep."
Laura moved to the bed then sat down, clasping her hands in her lap. Their tension was palpable in the air of the room. Steele stood up, appearing to head towards the door.
"Where are you going?"
"Just going to turn down the air conditioning."
Laura nodded.
"Sorry."
After adjusting the thermostat he rejoined Laura, sitting next to her one more.
"I guess I'm a bit jumpy," Laura told him, standing up.
Steele patted the bed next to him.
"Sit down, sit down. Come on."
Laura smoothed her skirt and sat down next to him again.
"I'll tell you one thing, I'm scared," he admitted, the strain on his face apparent. He was still covered in soot from the explosion at his apartment, and his eyes showed he was still shell shocked from watching Rudy, a teen that worked for Monroe, being killed.
"You are?"
"Hell, yes. Murder. County officials on the take, falsified documents. I think I'd be more concerned about myself if I weren't scared."
"If only we knew what we were up against."
"Yes. I mean, who would have guessed a sweet little old garlic farmer like Lester would take the lid off Pandora's box?"
Laura took a deep breath. Steele looked at her for a moment, then took one of her hands in both of his, patting it then lacing his fingers with her as he moved closer to her.
"Thanks," Laura told him softly.
"What for?"
"For saving my life this afternoon. Being here. For being you."
Steele broke out into a smile, clearly touched by her words.
"Laura, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
Steele scooted closer to her until their hips were touching then put an arm around her. Laura stayed still for a moment, then letting out a deep breath laid her head on his shoulder. Steele patted her hip, trying to offer her comfort.
He was having a hard time processing everything that had occurred over the past twenty four hours. First Rossfield, the county coroner on the take, had been killed in a hit-and-run. Then he had watched as Rudy's life ended in the flash of a bomb. How many more bodies would pile up before they figured out what was going on?
He turned to look down at Laura, feeling his stomach twist and then knot.
I could've lost her today, he thought to himself. If I hadn't of gotten there in time, I could have found her broken…gone. Just like after Carl shot her, but this time there would have been no miracles – no bomb proof jacket like the bullet proof one she had been wearing when Carl had shot her.
He felt his body quake. He had barely gotten there in time. He had removed the bomb only moments before he first heard her keys jingling outside of the door. Realizing if he had been only five minutes later she would have met Rudy's fate, had nearly buckled his knees. He'd sat on the arm of a chair trying to compose himself before she entered, not wanting to scare her more than needed.
His arm left her hip and reached up to touch the silk of her hair. He picked up a strand, and rubbed it between his fingers, distractedly.
They had always been so cavalier about their brushes with death – well, with the exception of his devastation when he believed he had watched Carl kill Laura before his very eyes. When she had come to find him in London, to bring him home, something had shifted within himself. Before London, it had never truly occurred to him that in a blink of an eye she could simply be gone. Before London, he had never honestly believed that either of them would meet their end during the course of the case, their brushes with death were just part of the adrenaline rush that came with the job.
But that was before he had gone four long months without her.
When he had watched her fleeing across the field as Armstrong's men's fired at her in London, he had been completely unprepared for his reaction to the event. If pressed to find a word to describe it, desolate was the closest word he could use to explain the emotions that hung like a black cloak over him, and even it was not adequate enough. He had been consumed by fear that he had lost her, a part of him grieving as though he had.
The bomb was the closest she had come to losing her life since they'd been home. Despite the fact that she was safe, sitting here next to him, his mind could not let go of the what-ifs.
Laura had turned to look at him when he had begun playing with her hair. It hadn't taken her very long to realize that he was not there with her but had turned inward. His eyes were unfocused, haunted. She had only seen him like this once before, the briefest of a glimpse as she had regained consciousness when Carl had shot her. She assumed he was grieving the death of Rudy, and puzzled over how long Steele had known the boy to be reacting this deeply.
When he stood and took her hands in his, she went willingly into his arms. She had expected him to kiss her, and was unprepared when he dropped his forehead on her shoulder and wrapped her in a tight hug, holding and rocking her in complete silence as one hand reached up and stroked her hair where it ended just below her shoulders. His silence waned on, as she felt increasingly helpless.
Laura moved her hands from around his back where they had lain and reached between them to take his head in her hands. Lifting his head from her shoulder, she waited until his eyes met hers, then she stood on her tiptoes to press her lips against his. That he was so slow to respond set off alarm bells in her head. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him closer and ran her tongue along his lips. He flinched in her arms, then his mouth opened, his tongue reaching out to touch hers, following hers as it withdrew into her mouth. He kissed her deep and slow, exploring her mouth, her tongue as though they had never before kissed like this. When he broke off the kiss, he leaned down to run his lips across hers softly twice more, before dropping his forehead back on her shoulder and gathering her close again.
Laura pulled back. She put a hand lightly under his chin and lifted his head, then waited patiently until his eyes met hers. The pained look in his eyes stunned her.
"You need a shower," she told him. "You're still covered in soot and exhausted. Go grab your bag and come back. Shower here. I don't think either one of us want to be alone right now. What do you say?"
"I didn't have time to grab a bag."
"Then just go take a shower."
He nodded, then turned and went in the bathroom and shut the door.
Laura glanced at her watch. It was nearly 1 a.m. All of the 'deceased' were scheduled to be in the office at 10 a.m. for a group interview. They would have to leave no later than 8 a.m. in order to grab breakfast and run him by his apartment to change if they would be there when everyone arrived. She was exhausted and knew he was as well. Talking about the case would have to wait until tomorrow on their way to the office. What they both needed right now more than anything was sleep.
Laura picked up the phone and called down to the front desk and requested a 7 a.m. wake up call. Grabbing her overnight bag, she set it on the bed and pulled out her nightgown, a simple light pink cotton and lace sleeveless shift that ended above her knees. She worried her bottom lip for a minute with her teeth, wondering if she would be wiser just to sleep in her clothes because if she had anything to say on the matter, he would be sleeping in her room tonight. She discarded the idea recognizing they had stayed together in the past and while he may have enjoyed the sights, he'd never tried to claim more than she was willing to give.
Stripping, she had just pulled the nightgown over her head when he emerged from the bathroom, shirtless, wearing the pants he had worn that evening, while drying his hair with the towel held in his hand. Reaching into her bag she pulled out the spare, new toothbrush she always had tucked into a pocket of her bag then rummaged further and pulled out the travel size tube of toothpaste. She handed both to him and he wordlessly returned to the bathroom.
Laura pulled the clips out of her hair and dropped them in her bag, then pulled out a brush and ran it through her hair. When Steele reemerged from the bathroom, she switched places with him. After scrubbing off her makeup and brushing her teeth, she laid her toothbrush on the counter next to his, then turned off the light and shut the bathroom door behind her.
She found him sitting on the couch, a spare blanket and pillow lying next to him, already planning to camp out on there for the night. It was one of the courtly gestures of his that always touched her heart. There was never a question of who would sleep on the bed, as he always insisted on taking the couch, chair or even floor so that she could sleep in comfort.
Without thought she walked over to him and held out her hand to him.
"Come on," she told him softly. "Let's get some sleep."
Taking her hand, he stood and followed her over to the bed. Pulling back the covers she climbed into bed and reached across the other side of the bed to turn out the light. She waited until he climbed in next to her and laid down on his back, an arm slung behind his head. Laura pulled the covers up over them then slid over to him, laying her head on his shoulder as she curled into his side.
She felt him exhale deeply before his arm moved down and wrapped around her back, his hand snugged into her waist. She ran her hand across his bare chest, over to his side. She began to run her hand up and down his side, much as she had in London when they spent the night in the tenement house nursing his wounds. She felt his body tighten then slowly relax.
Tipping up her chin, she looked at him in the darkened room.
"Is this okay?"
"It's perfect. Dr. Holt prescribing the perfect remedy yet again," he told her, without the usual teasing cadence in his voice.
"Are you okay?"
"I will be."
"I'm sorry about the boy killed at your apartment. I didn't know you knew him."
"I didn't."
Laura lay silent, unable to ask him why, then, he had been so withdrawn, nearly despondent the last hour. No matter what words she tried to put together, they came across as callous. As she struggled to find the right words, she felt him reach his arm across his body to run his hand through her hair, before he caught a strand and began fingering it as he had earlier.
"You could have died tonight, Laura."
Laura lifted her head up again, to look for his eyes in the shadows. Finding them, she told him, "But I didn't."
"If I had gotten there five minutes later…"
"But you didn't."
Steele took a deep breath and let it out. He shifted onto his side so they were lying face-to-face, Laura's head lying on his upper arm. He curled his arm so his fingers could touch her hair. His eyes sought hers and caught her gaze. With his other hand, he reached out and ran his fingertips slowly and tenderly down her face before they came to rest on her neck, stroking.
"I could have lost you tonight, Laura."
His hand left her neck to run down her arm, before moving to her back, his fingers skimming between her shoulder blades. Laura ran her hand up over his side, skimming his chest, before coming to rest on his cheek, still holding his gaze.
"I could have lost you tonight. But I didn't, you didn't. We're here."
Leaning his head down, he laid his forehead against her own and nodded, while his hand shifted around her back, his fingers running up over her shoulders to lie on her neck and stroke again.
Laura shifted to free her other arm, then reached up to lay her fingers on either side of his face. Brushing both thumbs down to the underside of his chin, she lifted his face so they were looking at each other again.
"We're okay," she assured him, then lifted up her head and kissed him.
Unlike earlier, Steele was not slow to respond this time, as he wrapped his arms around her, one around her waist, and the other around her shoulders allowing his fingers freedom stroke her gently along her neck, through her hair. His lips were soft, undemanding as they moved along hers. Even when he deepened the kiss it was not laced with the usual desire, but instead tinged with a simple need to feel the texture of her lips and mouth, to taste her, to be close to her.
Laura instinctively knew his kisses were driven by a need to be close, to assure himself that she had come through the day unscathed. There was no underlying attempt to seduce, no reason for her to be prepared to put a halt to them before they suggested they turn a corner she was not yet prepared to turn, freeing her to allow her lips to follow his lead.
Steele ended the kiss, then ran his lips across her forehead, before shifting to lie on his back, pulling Laura along with him. Laying her head on his shoulder, she tucked a knee on top of his thigh, then skimmed her hand across his chest, before her hand stilled over his heart. He reached up and laid his free hand over hers.
"I've missed this since London, when we came home," he commented, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I've missed it too," she told him before yawning deeply.
Reaching across his body with his arm, he began lightly stroking her hair, both reassuring himself that she was there and safe while also helping her to relax into sleep. They had slept in the same room on numerous occasions over the years and he had long ago memorized the soft sigh she would let out as she sank into sleep, the cadence of her breathing when she was asleep, as well as the rustling against the bed sheets that would occur when she would stretch herself awake. It was only when he heard the soft sigh that he allowed himself to drift off as well, his hand wrapped in her hair and his other arm holding her tight against his body.
Dawn was only announcing its arrival when Laura's eyes flickered open, unsure what had pulled her from her sleep. She remained still as she tried to identify what was out of place in the room. Silence greeted her.
She closed her eyes to return to her slumber when the slightest twitch of Steele's arm under her head put her on alert again. She realized then, that she could feel his heart rate accelerating under her hand on his chest. Tilting her head back on his shoulder, she saw he was sound asleep.
Dream? Nightmare? Memory? she wondered.
Suddenly, he jolted awake, her name a strangled cry on his lips. Gasping because she had been so startled by his violent awakening, it only took a second to realize the heart under her hand was now hammering and that his chest was rising and falling in time with his quick and jagged breathing.
Laura leaned up on an elbow and laid her hand against his cheek.
"Mr. Steele," she spoke softly. When his eyes remained glazed by sleep, she ran her thumb across his lips and called his name a little more loudly. "Mr. Steele!"
His eyes met hers at last, and relief spread over his face. Turning onto his side, her wrapped his arms around her and pulling her tight against himself, he buried his face in her shoulder, inhaling deeply.
"Honeysuckle," he murmured.
"Mmmmm hmmm," she confirmed.
Releasing his hold on her, he reached both hands up to cradle either side of her face, then pulled her head towards his, holding her lips firmly against his own for several long moments, before pulling back then leaning in for a soft kiss. His hands left her face to run over her back and arms, with one hand journeying back to her face, stroking it. Laura reached up and laced her fingers through the top of his then held their two hands against her cheek.
"Talk to me."
"Just a dream, Laura."
"About?"
Steele let out a deep sigh, then drew her back to him. He knew she wouldn't let this go, it wasn't in her nature.
"I didn't get there in time. I found you, just like before. After Carl."
She closed her eyes and nodded, giving his hand a squeeze then rubbing it against her cheek.
"It was just a dream. You were there in time. You saved my life. Focus on that. I'm here, we're here, because you saved me today."
"I can't lose you, Laura. Not again."
"You won't. Because you won't let that happen, anymore than I would let something happen to you."
Laura released his hand, then brushed a stray lock of hair back off his forehead. An overwhelming need to be close to him swept over her. Pushing herself up off the bed, she leaned down and ran her lips along Steele's as she shifted her body overtop of his, stretching her length down his own. She felt him stiffen underneath her in surprise, then relax as one of his arms wrapped around her waist while the other crossed her shoulder so that his hand could press between her shoulder blades, bringing her body closer to his. His body leapt to life under hers, making Laura smile as they kissed.
Pulling her head back, she looked down at Steele. Their eyes caught, and held. Laura lifted a hand and placed it on his cheek, her thumb stroking it. Seeing his need to be close to her, to assure himself that she was alright, Laura nodded slightly to herself, then leaned back down to kiss him again.
Steele moved his hand to the back of Laura's neck as the kiss took on a life of its own. As their tongues tangled, Laura's movements on top of him had him fully erect within moments, as his desire for her roared to life. His mind automatically began trying to tamp down his body's response to her, recognizing that within moments she would pull away, as she always had. When she broke the kiss and pulled back, disappointment flooded his body while acceptance followed quickly behind. They had agreed in London to take it slow, going only as far as she wanted in a given moment. Steele reached for her, to pull her back down into his arms.
Steele nearly came out of his skin when Laura sat up, straddling his body then ran both of her hands across his shoulders, down his chest and his abdomen. The touch of her fingers across his bare skin caused the muscles under her hands to twitch with pleasure. Steele's eyes sought out Laura's and when he found them, saw the desire alive in them, he lost his breath for a moment. Reaching for her, he pulled her back down into his arms, and capturing her lips, rolled them over until he lay with his body partially on top her own.
Breaking the kiss, Steele pulled his arms out from under Laura and moved so that his hands gently touched either side of her head while he looked down at her then dropped his head to run his lips gently across hers before moving to her jaw to feather kisses there. Jolts of electricity shot through his body as Laura's hands skimmed up his sides like a whisper, then over his back from shoulder to hip. Steele had to stifle the urge to shift over fully atop of her, instead moving his lips to the spot where her neck met her shoulder, gently sucking her skin into his mouth so that he could taste her.
Laura moaned softly at the sensation, then ran a hand through Steele's hair to press her palm firmly against the back of his head, conveying to him the pleasure that he was creating with his ministrations. After a few moments Steele pulled away, to look down at her. He waited until her eyes met his, then held, needing to see for himself if she was ready to at last be with him. Steele ran his hand up her side, before moving it to run across her breast. Cupping her breast in his hand, he ran a thumb across her covered nipple feeling it harden in response to his gentle strokes. He watched as her eyed turned smoky with desire. She arched into his hand responding to his touch.
Moving his hand away from her breast, he reached up and stroked her cheek with his fingers.
"Laura?" he softly framed her name in the form of a question.
Laura lifted her hand and laid it against his cheek, echoing the way he was currently touching her.
"Yes, Mr. Steele."
Her reply was not a question, but a statement. Steele felt desire course through his blood at her response.
"Are you sure?"
Laura moved her hand behind his head and pulled him down for a kiss. When he broke the kiss, Steele leaned back to catch her eyes once more, as he waited on her answer.
"Yes. We need to be close to each other tonight. We need to know that we're here, safe and alive."
Her words had the same effect on as ice water being poured over him.
"Bloody hell," he mumbled, as he rolled to his back, taking her with him and wrapping his arm around her, tucked her back into his side. He concentrated on getting his raging body under control, while stroking her arm.
Laura pushed herself up, and frowned down at him, confused.
"What's wrong?"
Steele shook his head, partly because he was stunned that he had stopped, partly surprised she didn't understand why without him explaining. He let out a deep sigh, then turned on his side so they were facing one another. He lifted his hand to sweep her hair over her shoulder, then laid his hand on her neck, stroking it.
"Not like this, Laura. Not because you're reacting to everything that is going on around us. Not because you want to comfort me. Not when you may well regret your decision tomorrow," he told her softly, moving his hand to run a finger over her lips. "We have waited too long. When we finally consummate this relationship it should be because of who we are and what we are to one another. We deserve that, both of us. Do you understand?"
Laura felt a curious combination of disappointment and relief sweep through her body. Disappointment because she had finally been able to put aside her concerns and reach out to him, offer herself to him, as he had been waiting for her to do for years. Relief because a small part of her had already begun to regret that their first time together would be in the Motor Inn in downtown LA to affirm life instead of affirm what they felt towards one another.
Laura brushed the hair off his forehead, then leaned her forehead against Steele's and nodded. Moving her head back so she could look at him once more, she smiled at him.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For knowing me better than I know myself. For caring enough about us to know the timing wasn't right. You're an amazing man, Mr. Steele."
Steele smiled widely at her, then bent his neck, to kiss her softly. He felt the words she needed him to say to her on the tip of his tongue, begging to be said. But just as he knew this was not the night for them to move their physical relationship ahead, he knew now was not the time for those words either. Instead he settled, hoping she would understand the meaning behind his words.
"Anything for you, Miss Holt," he told her softly, then ran his thumb across her lips as a smile appeared on them.
Steele rolled back to his back, and Laura followed, curling once more into his side, laying her head on his shoulder with no encouragement. Steele smiled again, and reached out to link his fingers through her hand that lay on top of his chest.
"Let's get some sleep," he suggested.
Laura nodded against his chest, smiling contentedly. They drifted off shortly thereafter.