Meredith stood in the kitchen of her mother's house at the ripe old age of 18. She wasn't her normal smiling self as she stood there on the phone with her boyfriend. She was quiet and definitely not smiling. Her forehead leaned against the sliding glass door that lead out to the desk as tears started to roll down her cheeks. The words she heard in her ear were the last thing she expected to hear from the boy she loved. "I am not happy anymore." She couldn't believe it. In her eyes everything was perfect. In her eyes they were going to be together forever. In her eyes the words, "We can't see each other anymore" were not in her vocabulary. They were in his and he said them.
"Can't we work this out?" she pleaded as she tried to keep herself from breaking down. Her mother was in the other room. She did not want her to know what was going on.
"No we can't" Tears. More tears flowed from her eyes. He didn't even sound sorry for what he was doing to her. There was no emotion in his voice. Could he really be throwing one year together away like this? It didn't seem possible. "I hope that we could still be friends."
How was that even possible? How could they still be friends after he crushed her heart like that? She couldn't comprehend. He hadn't really even given her a good answer as to why. "Is it another girl?" That had to be the reason. He met someone new. He met someone better. He met someone who could make him happy.
"No it's not another girl. I am just not happy where this is going. I am sorry."
"I have to go." She couldn't bear to hear his voice anymore. She couldn't handle this. She had to get out of her kitchen before she broke down.
"Ok, I will talk to you later." Seriously? Does he seriously think we are still going to talk after this? Boys…they suck. She could never understand what made him think that it would all be ok and they could still be friends.
"No you won't." She hung up. No matter how heart broken she was she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of playing with her mind. He wanted out so he got out. She hangs up the phone on the wall and quickly runs down stairs to her room where she buried her head in her pillow and cried.
As she sits in his office she looks back to that day. If you would have told an 18 year old Meredith Grey that 12 years later she would be sitting in Derek Shepherd's office for a divorce she would have laughed in your face. As far as she was concerned she would never see him again. He broke her heart like nobody could. First love syndrome (FLS) is what her and her friends started calling it. You only feel it once but it stays with you forever.
She shakes her head at herself for still dwelling on it all these years later. He should be long forgotten by now. She should have forgiven him by now. That's the thing about first love syndrome, you never get over it, it is always with you, you can't escape it, and no matter how many times you may tell yourself that you have finally moved passed it you haven't. She knows his all too well. She practically wrote the book on it. It doesn't mean she wasn't allowed to be in denial. That's an important phase of FLS.
Meredith's day dream is broken when the door is flung open. Derek stands in the doorway facing outwards saying something to his secretary. He wears a black suit with thin white pinstripes. He makes is a point to look as good as he possibly can every day. He believes appearance means everything to his clients. A handsome man in a good suit is just easier to trust. "Not now, Sheri, I have an appointment with a new client," he says. There are mumbles that come from outside the office door. He looks down at the folder he holds in his hands, "Meredith Russo."
She tries not to stare but how could she not. He has grown up into a handsome man. Handsome is an understatement. There isn't a word that comes to mind to describe how amazingly good looking Derek turned out to be. She shakes her head to snap out of it. She can't fall for him, not again. She is there for one reason and one reason only, he is the best. There is no way she would've gone to him if he wasn't the best. Seeing Derek again is trouble. It's breaking every rule she ever made about having FLS.
Sheri finally stops talking and Derek turns around to walk into his office. He is still looking over the folder while he closes the door to his office. He reaches his hand out first to shake hers before looking up at who is sitting in front of him. "Good afternoon, Mrs…Meredith? Meredith Grey? Is that you?" He can't hide the shock on his face. This defiantly is shocking. He is surprised he even recognized her. She has grown into an amazing woman.
"Soon to be…again," Meredith says with a bit of attitude. She knows it was a mistake coming to him. There is an awkward silence between them for a moment before she speaks up again. "I only came to you because I know you can get me what I want."
"I will do my best." He pauses. He knows he should be professional but he can't help but wonder what is going on with her. He feels like he should ask her. He suddenly gets the need to know everything that has happened with her over the years they have been apart. It was the first time in a long time he had this urge. "How long have you been married?"
"Five years. What about you? Are you married?" She forgot where she was for a moment. She quickly realizes the error of her questioning but it's too late to go back now. He was asking the question because that's his job, not because he cares.
"I don't think I believe in it anymore. Being in the position I am in it really makes one jaded. Right now I am too focused on my career to be in a relationship." This was bad. He has to get back on track or they may never get started. "I first need to ask you why you want this divorce."
"We have grown apart. It's a mutual agreement on both parts. We came to the conclusion together that we both would be better off apart."
"Of course, that's why you have separate lawyers," Derek joked. The still serious look on her face tells him that she is in no mood for jokes. His smile quickly turns serious and he feels like a jackass. "I'm sorry, I forgot this was business for a second and went back to my old ways."
"Derek, if you can't handle this I can use someone else." Meredith has no patience for Derek being Derek at the moment. She needs a lawyer not her ex-boyfriend. She begins to stand up and gather up her things. He puts his hand out to stop her and he slowly sits back down.
"Don't go. I can do this. We can do this. Let's start over, shall we?"
"Derek, I am just going to cut to the chase. I want custody of my son. Edward and I agree on everything but that. So I really need your help because he is moving away and if he gets custody I don't know what I will do. I know what you're capable of which is why I came to you to begin with. Believe me, this is not what I want so please just cut the crap and try to be serious for once in your life." It came out harsh and cold and it wasn't the way she wanted to start off but he was starting to get on her nerves. She cannot afford for him to act like he used to. She is still too weak for that. After 12 years, a marriage, and a son Meredith soon to be Grey again still gets butterflies in her stomach around Derek Shepherd.
Meredith walks out of Derek's office and to her vehicle. After climbing into the Jeep Commander she pulls out her cell phone before even turning the vehicle on. She waits until the person on the other end picks up. Before her friend could even say hello Meredith begins talking, "Meet me at The Big Apple Bar in a half hour."
"And hello to you too," the voice on the other end teases.
"Cut the crap, Cristina, I need to tell you about who I had a meeting with today," Meredith says as she frantically looks for her keys in her purse. "How did I misplace my keys? I just had them in my hand. I opened the door with them for Pete's sake!" Out of the corner of her eye she sees something shine in the reflection of the mid afternoon sun on her floor mat. She bends down to pick them up. "Here they are. I'll talk to you when I get there, bye." She hangs up the phone then starts what her husband refers to as her over sized SUV and drives out of the parking lot.
After Meredith leaves Derek sits still at his desk for what seems like hours but in reality is only 5 minutes. He jumps up startled from the sound of a knock on his door. Sheri opens the door slowly and peaks her head in. "Mr. Shepherd, your last appointment has cancelled. He said something about a flat tire. I already rescheduled him for tomorrow."
"This is why I use the subway," he mumbles. He isn't interested in having a conversation with his over eager secretary yet she lingers in hopes he asks her to come in and sit down. There would be none of that, especially not today when he has so much on his mind. "I am leaving early today. I have an important client to meet with for dinner. I trust you will lock up after you're finished in here?"
"Yes, sir," she says with a smile before closing the door and sitting back down at her desk.
Derek gathers his papers up in his briefcase before putting his coat on and walking out the door. He flags down a cab rather quickly and gets in. "One Hundred and One West End Ave, thanks."
Derek pays the cabby, picks up his briefcase from the seat next to him, then gets out. He doesn't bother ringing the doorbell of the apartment building he is at, he takes out the key and lets himself in. The door man is used to Derek walking in so he just tips his hat to greet him. Derek waves back before getting onto the elevator. He hits floor number 30 and waits patiently alone on the elevator to reach his destination. The doors open and he walks down the hallway. He slips his key in the keyhole and opens the door. He can hear screaming from the other room. He laughs to himself as he takes a seat on the couch.
Soon after, the bedroom door opens. Derek smiles at his best friend who is wearing only boxer shorts. "You don't even call before showing up here, Derek? I knew I should never have given you a key." Before Derek can respond the bedroom door reopens and a woman walks out and into the kitchen. She is wearing absolutely nothing. She walks out from the kitchen holding an apple and sits down next to Derek on the arm of the couch. "Derek…Delicious D…good now you two have met."
She shakes Derek's out reached hand, "Danielle."
Derek looks in Mark's direction. "Taking your work home with you, I see," he teases.
"Of course, I have to test out the new talent."
"He says that but I have been here every night for 5 weeks. Don't let him lie to you, Derek," Danielle says.
"That's enough. We need some privacy. We'll be out on the roof."
Derek and Mark walk into a door that would look like a closet to anybody else but instead of coats inside there are stairs. They walk up the short flight of stairs and open a second door leading out to the roof deck. They each sit in a lounge chair.
"You will never guess who I met with today," Derek says as he takes off his suit jacket to get more comfortable.
"You're right I won't. Who was it? You know I hate guessing games."
"Meredith Grey."
"Holy shit, did you fuck her?" Of course that would be the first thing out of his mouth. The strip club owner of a best friend only ever has one thing on his mind and that is sex.
"No of course I didn't. She is my new client. All she wants to do is talk business."
"Dude, does she even know how you feel?"