Hey Guys, this is my first Artemis Fowl fic and I'm somewhat tentative about it. I'm not sure if I got the character and all right or not and I'd love it if you guys told me what you think. I've also used a somewhat different style here, Artemis's thoughts are in italics and the conversation is normal. I'll explain my reasoning for my Artemis at the bottom, so if you think it's needed go ahead and read it, but first you gotta read the story and then please leave me a review and you will be forever in my good books. Thanks.

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Artemis or the world he lives in. However I do claim the crazy situation I have thrown him into and take full responsibility for it.

"Why are you in here Artemis?"

Oh god, another one. They had sent him another damn therapist. He was so tired of these people. He refused to open his eyes and be forced to face yet another interrogation session.

"I would have thought that was fairly self evident Mademoiselle."

The young woman did not seem fazed by his icy tone.

"Oh yes." She sounded surprised. Blonde, he decided, if there were any irony in the world she would be blonde.

"You tried to slit your wrists Artemis."

He smiled, the creepy vampiric smile that had sent shivers down the spines of hardened criminals.

"I think it is quite evident that I did slit my wrists."

He lifted one scarred forearm and waved it in her general direction. He no longer wore long shirts or suit jackets, instead he carefully selected garments which would allow a clear view of his forearms, while still retaining the utmost sense of style. He refused to be ashamed of what he had done, refused to hide the bandages and the still raw wounds. He had made a choice and followed that through. He may be a criminal but he was not a liar.

"Um…yes, well…" She trailed off and he heard a click. Writing. No doubt everything he had said to her, and to every one of the therapists who had taken it into their minds to have a crack at decoding the mind of the great Artemis Fowl the Second, was recorded somewhere in this building.

"Why did you try to kill yourself Artemis?" Now he opened his eyes, this was new. He sat up and finally looked at her. Yes, she was blonde, beautiful golden hair pulled into a knot at the back of her head. Such beauty was wasted on Artemis.

"Frankly Mademoiselle," he drawled, taking refuge in sarcasm "I don't see why you care."

She blinked at him for a moment and then looked down at her paper, clearly disconcerted by this boy.

"I'm only trying to help you Artemis."

"Ah but you see" He began, he was really starting to enjoy himself now. "the longer I remain here, under your care, the longer my parents will continue to pay fabulous amounts of money for me to remain thus. So it is truly in your interest to keep me here and frankly, I should rather remain here than return to the world as it is." With that he lay back down and closed his eyes, confidant that the final word on the matter had been said.

After a moment he heard her stand up and move to leave the room. As soon as the door closed behind her he sat up. He crossed the room on silent feet to open as safe in the far wall, a part of every room at this fabulously expensive clinic. He pulled out a simple spirex notebook and a pen, flipping to a clean page he sat down at a desk and carefully wrote at the top: Blonde. Beside her name he put a single strike. Flipping through he reviewed his nicknames for various others who had visited his room over the past months. Some names were crossed off, others had many marks beside them. He replaced it and went back to his bed. Everything in the room was completely still. Suddenly a quiet scratching began behind the door of the safe. Without opening his eyes Artemis smiled slightly. Nothing here stayed private for long, but he had made sure that everything he wanted no one else to know was kept safely in his mind, he was sure they knew nothing he did not want them to. He liked this place, so many minds to toy with but no one got hurt. He would stay here, they would crack before he did.

Well there you go. My reasoning was that if the fairies hadn't wiped his memory the good Artemis couldn't cope with the bad Artemis's world, because the bad Artemis was in some ways a product of his world. Strange aren't I?

Anyways, now that you've read this you know what I'd like you to do? That's right! Click on the little purple button, you know you want to.

Sammy