Title: Of Hormones and Cocktail Dresses
Rating: G/K
Characters/Ship: Tony/Pepper (established)
Word Count: 1,005
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
Summary: In which Pepper is understandably ridiculous and Tony is surprisingly the same as always
Warnings: Cavity inducing.

"Pep, hon, we're gonna be late!" Tony calls out from the couple's bathroom. "Not that I care," he says as he walks back into the bedroom, "but I know how finicky you get when we get behind schedule." He finishes buttoning his cufflinks before looking up to find his wife sitting on the bed, half dressed and sniffling.

"Pepper?" he asks, sitting next to her on the bed, tilting his head under hers to try and catch her eye. Her eyes are closed and her lashes are clumped together, but he can still see the red rim of them and the first of her tears are just starting to fall.

"Pep?" Tony whispers. He tucks his knuckle under Pepper's chin and lifts her face. "What's wrong?"

"It's silly," she says, her blue eyes opening, still full of unshed tears.

"Nonsense," Tony assures her, wiping away the tear tracks that adorn her flushed cheeks. "Tell me what's wrong."

Pepper takes a deep, shaking breath, trying to calm herself. She blinks away the rest of her tears, Tony catching the ones that fall with his thumbs.

Pepper sniffs one more time before answering. "My dress won't zip," she whispers.

Tony tries to hold back his laughter, he really does. He tries so hard, but he is who he is and so his efforts are futile and his shoulders start shaking, jostling the bed and making Pepper turn towards him. When she notices what he is doing, she glares at him, the combination of her tear stained cheeks and the anger in her eyes makes him chuckle harder.

He starts when he feels her get up, the cocktail dress that she had been changing into hanging around her waist. "Pep, wait," he says as he tries to calm himself. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."

He stands up behind her and wraps his arms around her waist, pressing a kiss into her neck. She's stiff under his hands and lips, so he kisses her again and tightens his grip around her slightly swollen belly.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into her hair. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

She finally relaxes against him and sighs, her breath still hitching from left over tears. His thumbs are rubbing soothing circles against her stomach, his chin resting on her shoulder.

"I just didn't realize I would grow this fast. This dress fit two weeks ago," she says, placing her hands on top of his. "I'm fat."

"You are not fat, Pepper," Tony says harshly, insistent. "You are not fat."

"Well, I will be," she says, pouting slightly, but her head is ducked in embarrassment when he turns her around in his arms. "I'll be fat and ugly and you won't love me anymore." She still hasn't looked him in the eye, so he mimics his earlier move and lifts her chin with his knuckles.

"I will always, always love you, Pepper," he says passionately. "Even if for some horrific reason we're not together anymore, I will love you forever. Never, ever, ever forget that." He smirks at her before continuing. "You're mine. Fat and all." He's looking her directly in the eye, brown eyes capturing blue, and the fire in his burns her soul and she knows that he means it.

She smiles at him as his words reverberate through her head and for a moment he thinks she's all better. But then the smile drops from her face and not a moment after his falls too. Tears well up in her eyes again and he's catching her face between his hands.

"You said I wasn't fat," she halfway wails and she turns away from him, her hands coming up to cover her face.

"Pepper," he nearly growls. "You. Are. Not. Fat." He goes to stand in front of her again, pulling her hands from her face. "You aren't," he says again as he pulls her into a hug. "You're pregnant," he says bluntly. "And your body is changing." He pushes her back and looks into her face again. "And you're beautiful. And I love you." He presses a kiss to her forehead and wipes the tears from her face. "Now," he says, "let's get you dressed and cleaned up because now we're super late."

"I can't, my dress won't fit," she says, gesturing to the offending article of clothing that is still hanging around her waist.

"Then find something different."

"I don't have anything different."

"I've bought you hundreds of dresses, Pepper. What do you mean you don't have anything different?"

"Nothing fits, Tony Stark, and it's all your fault!"

She's gone from sad to angry in less than a minute, her blue eyes blazing, and it still boggles his mind that her hormones are so unbalanced. "Pepper, please. Why don't we just call the prime minister and reschedule? I'm sure he'll understand."

Pepper hates the idea, but she hates even more the idea that she'll have reapply her make up and dig in her closet for some out of style dress when all she wants to do is lie down and let Tony comfort her.

"Fine," she says and moves to the bed where this whole mess had begun. She lies across it, on her side with the dress bunched up around her waist, her hair rumpled and her make up streaked down her face. She feels Tony come up behind her and wrap one hand over her stomach, burying his nose into the hair at her neck.

She wait's a few moments before speaking. "I'm sorry I yelled at you," she whispers.

"It's okay. I know you didn't mean it."

They lay there for a moment, both too tired now to change. Tony waits for Pepper to fall asleep, listening to her breathing as it evens out, feeling her muscle relax as she succumbs to unconsciousness.

"Jarvis?" he whispers. "Lights."

As Jarvis slowly dims the light, he burrows closer to his wife. "I love you my fat, angry, pregnant, beautiful wife," he whispers.

He's glad she's a deep sleeper.