Hey everyone! This is my Sydrian fanfic that's set after The Golden Lily. This is nothing based around what I've heard about The Indigo spell, this is purely what my imagination has brought me.

So yeah... keep an open mind about this.. Don't judge on the first chapter.

I have no rights to this. Richelle Mead owns it all. And it's uber amaing XD

I walked out of the building in utter conflicted agony. My heart, pounding quickly, told me one thing. Whilst my brain, so obviously drilled with the Alchemists rules and beliefs, told me another.

It felt as though I was going crazy, too equally right voices were screaming inside my head but I refused to believe my heart. There was no way this could work. I drove Latte back to the school and parked it when I was approached by Jill.

"Sydney! Did you just speak to Adrian?" She asked, her innocent eyes sparkling with intrigue and maybe a bit of hope.

I hated doing this to her but I brushed past, ignoring her. I knew she'd find out eventually.

"Why are you pretending that never happened?! Your breaking him, Sydney!" Jll called out to my retreating back.

I froze. So she had seen it. Not a big surprise really from what Adrian had said. Strong feelings brought her into the bond and... love... had been something strong for him. The bond also, as far as I knew, hadn't been number by alcohol. But there again, I hardly knew the difference between drunk Adrian or sober.

"You know how much he likes you!" Jill exclaimed, her voice sounding a lot more confident than she had when I had first met her in court. A large majority of that was probably because of Adrian's personality leaking through the bond. I could list the upsides and down sides to her bond with him but it would take forever.

I span around, my eyes stinging. That's what happens when you genuinely don't want to cry. Especially not in front of Jill. She'd become a friend and it hurt that she was so annoyed with me. That and the fact my head was pounding from the internal conflict.

"Do you really think that would work, Jill! You know my beliefs and how I have to follow them. I can't just stop believing something that's been drilled into me since I was twelve!" I exclaimed loudly, really hoping there was no one around at this time.

Jill's face turned sad, hopeless. All the previous anger had vanished from her to be replaced by something that was unfamiliar to me. This was what the bond did. Constant swings from one mood to another.

"You don't know. Sydney... This is killing him. It's like Rose all over again" Jill whispered, her gaze turning inward to nothing I could see. But I could tell where from.

"You expect me to give this up? This is my life! I can't just leave. I'm sorry Jill, this isn't your problem. You've only been dragged into this because of the bond." I frowned, walking quickly back to my dorm before she could snap from her daze and follow me. I knew this wasn't going to end well.

I woke up the next morning, my head pounding slightly. For a few glorious minutes, I didn't remember what had transpired last night with Adrian and Jill. Then it all came crashing down onto me, making my fatigue seem ten times worse.

I made myself a cup of coffee quickly before dressing slowly, for once not bothered about being early into breakfast. Because today, even though the temperatures were still high for Autumn, the breakfast table would be icy.

I clasped the golden cross around my neck and looked at myself in the mirror, sighing slightly. Today wasn't going to be easy. I knew Jill wouldn't be forgiving me for a while.

I walked down to breakfast silently, my thoughts centered on everything that had transpired. Before I entered the canteen, I wipe my mouth. It felt as if there were some sort of incriminating evidence of last nights escapades with Adrian.

It was silly but if there were physical evidence, I'd be forced to think about it more. I sighed and walked into the canteen, sweeping it until I saw our table. I was met by two full smiles, a half smiled and very deep frown. It seemed the whole 'family' had assembled for breakfast this morning.I started making my way over before Kristin caught my arm.

"Hey, Sydney. We need some help. Could you eat breakfast with us this morning so we can talk about it?" she smiled up at me pleadingly.

I sighed like it was a difficult thing to do but honestly it was a God send. I knew I'd have to deal with it eventually but for this morning, I really wanted a bit of peace and some more coffee.

Julia smiled up at me. "Hey Sydney... Are you okay? You seem...distracted" she asked, peering at me curiously.

I half smiled and sat down, stifling a sigh. "It's nothing. Family issues. What do you want to talk to me about?" I asked.

Julia and Kristin shared a nervous glance between them both and then starting laughing. Julia was the first one to speak up.

"We know your really friendly with Lia... We were wondering if you could ask her to design us dresses for a... party" Julia asked, becoming more nervous that she normally was.

At the mention of Lia, my bad mood became darker and more angry.

"I dont know. Sorry, I've got to... get a book out of the library" I said hurriedly before walking quickly from the canteen.

I had too many problems. I couldn't deal with Lia at the moment as well.