"Idiot. Moron. Bastard."
The rain poured in a torrent of relentless downfall, refusing to let up for even a moment. My spine quaked against the chill that threatened to invade my body, my head bowed down in a feeble attempt to escape the battering it was taking from the freezing droplets. The wind, only hours earlier, was welcomed as nothing more than a pleasant breeze in the early spring air. Comparatively now, it threatened to drain my lungs of air. It whipped the hair that dislodged itself from inside my hood and turned it onto my face, violently lashing at my flushed cheeks. My arms instinctively tightened around my books, in both frustration and irritation. So much for going home. My heart wavered in contentment for a brief moment, to which I attempted to distract myself with a glance to my side. Link was faring a bit better, his stride less tense than my frantic competing one. His dark green hood shielded his face, but I didn't need an eyewitness account to know his expression mimicked my own. He had been able-minded enough to remember a raincoat, but however felt obligated to drape it around me before he forced me to venture outside. I noted the growing darkening of his clothing, made soaked by the shower, and a pang of guilt wracked me. It was no use arguing with him when he'd spent his entire day at the university. Nothing could usually keep him there for longer than necessary. Except in this case. His string of profanities did not stop well after we reached the entrance to his apartment complex. He had mashed the buttons to buzz himself in forcefully, avoiding eye contact and half-shoving me through the door, a large hand pressing into my back authoritatively. I complied, welcoming the warm rush of air as it filled between the large spaces of my body and Link's coat. The golden fluorescent lights of the lobby were more inviting than anything, and contrasted entirely with the radiating animosity of the extremely angry boy beside me. I side-glanced to see him shaking his head incredulously, not believing the situation. The entirely rude and ultimately humiliating situation. Maybe it was best he didn't speak until we got to his apartment.
The elevator ride was nothing short of strained; Link seething beside me and huffing incessantly while I huddled into myself to accumulate as much warmth as quickly as possible.
"I can't even believe him..." I heard him mutter to himself, as he placed another strong palm into my back and led me out to the third floor upon the metallic ding of the doors opening. My eyes kept to the dark green and brown patterned carpet, unwilling to absorb any of the overwhelming fury of the boy beside me. I settled for the swirling brew of sadness in my stomach, and the heaviness of my heart. I couldn't believe him either.
I was so lost in thought that I had to double-take the welcoming atmosphere of Link's apartment. I hadn't realized I'd waited for him to unlock the door and usher me inside. It was fairly warm despite the freezing weather outside. I could see, across his living room, the rain continuing to batter the sliding glass doors leading to the small attached terrace. In half a second, Link was in front of me. His dirty blonde hair was swept along his forehead, absolutely soaked. Water drops fell from his nose, down his cheeks, along his neck. His eyebrows were pulled together angrily, casting shadows on his deep blue eyes. He chose not to make eye contact when he took my books and phone from me, and turned quickly to slam them on the mini table by the doorway. I felt a tug at my large sleeves, and Link shed the coat off me in one swift, stern movement, after flitting the door closed. Droplets flicked at my bare legs, my white flimsy sundress looking less like an attempt at welcoming summer and more of a stupid idea. The flash storm was completely unexpected. I took stock of myself, soaked almost head to toe, uncomfortable clamminess setting deep into my skin. I allowed a shiver to wrack my body. Apart from me, Link seemed entirely preoccupied, despite being much more attacked by the rain than I was, with straightening up his place. Books facedown on the carpet of his open living room, coats strewn across his coffee table, blanket tangled with the pillows of his long L-shaped couch, spilling onto the floor. I eyed his probably freezing form, his expression of utmost concentration and duty thawing my icy mind. I had always admired his ability to get things done. I let myself smile ever so slightly, but it was cut down by the fact I realized he was still murmuring under his breath.
"If I get one hand on the bastard...by Din I'll...feed him to a Wolfos..."
I cringed against the harshness of his low tone. Very rarely had I heard my best friend so angry. Rarely enough that I couldn't recall the last time his calm and joking disposition had been cracked by anyone or anything. I thought fleetingly about the subject of Link's inconsolable distaste, and my eyes flickered to the phone left on the table. Sorry, Zelda. What you heard about Anju was true. I can't see you right now. A wave of shame overcame me, and I braced myself against it by busying myself with helping Link tidy up. Upon looking down, I realized the hot pink of my bra was almost entirely visible. I stifled a surprised gasp, again mentally kicking myself for the stupidity of my choice in clothing, and hastily ripped my light pink ribbon out of my hair and shaking my hair out to drape over my chest. Despite the weather, I couldn't thank Farore enough for my long hair at this moment. I let out a loud sigh, both in relief that I was inside, warm, and with Link, and frustration of the situation. I felt Link pause, half-bent down to retrieve a chemistry textbook. I caught his eye, and he straightened up. He studied me for a long moment, and let his pile of reading material drop onto the nearest table with little to no thought. He padded over to me quietly.
"Zelda." His tone was tight, and I saw that conflictual expression filling his face with both comfort and sympathy. "You're crying."
Was I? I reached up and grazed a cold finger against my cheek. A hot tear stood out among the remaining cool droplets. My eyes must be red. I gave one sniff for good measure, and in a second Link had his hand pressed onto my face, forcing me to look up at him. Empathy coloured his expression, as well as anger.
"Your place smells different." I managed at a pathetic attempt in changing the subject.
My breath hitched, and in a heartbeat Link was setting me down gently onto the cleared portion of his couch.
"My butt's wet."
"Oh, shut up."
A blanket was softly draped over my shoulders. The responding shiver of my body's desperation for warmth caused him to wrap an arm around me as well. I found solace of comfort in hearing Link's huffs die down as my trembling subsided. There was a long moment of silence as I processed the events of the day and attempted to compose myself.
"Want me to call him?" Although his tone was calm, Link spoke through his teeth.
"Wouldn't want to interrupt whatever better things he had to do." I responded quietly, sarcasm lacing my tone. I know it was a petty thing to say, but the rock that had formed in my stomach dislodged the dignity I felt I had. I sighed heavily, shifting uncomfortably in my cold dress. "I'm tired."
Without a word, Link disappeared into the other room, and I took the time to study my surroundings. Among the sloppy cleaning job he orchestrated when I got here, there was the absence of a few particular things I noticed.
"Here." Link re-emerged, holding a bundle of clothes. His disheveled appearance would have mustered a laugh from me had the situation been different. Link paused, uncertain, dripping in the doorway. He stood rigidly, evidently not shuddering whatsoever, despite his sacrifice of warmth outside before we left the university.
When I didn't immediately react, he crossed the room slowly and ushered me from the couch gently, taking my hand and waiting for me to rise. I was led to his bedroom (all the while being half-swaddled in the giant blanket), and immediately my body calmed at the scent of his cologne. It was a fresh, clean smell, as if the air I was breathing was home to a sunny, open field, and not a product of the vicious, relentless torrent currently outside.
"Put these on," he said quietly, once again queueing my attention to the clothes in his hands. I could make out a big pair of light grey sweatpants and a black t-shirt with the word "Beedle's" scrawled across it in bold white font. It looked like something from Link's closet. Another oddity in something I suppose I hadn't realized.
"Where's Malon?" I asked as cautiously as possible, careful to take note of the tightness of his expression at my words. He took a pause before he answered.
"She's not here anymore." He said simply, as he pressed the clothes into my hands.
What? When did this happen? The absence of trinkets the Veterinary department offered their degree students, where Malon would usually displace on every available open surface, as well as the lack of her linen perfume in the air confirmed my musings. I felt my stomach drop slightly at feeling like I'd been too self-absorbed.
"Wh-" I began, until with a wave of his hand as he crossed the room to the door cut me off.
"Don't worry about it. Get dressed." He was still attempting to compose himself and not show how his anger in the way he carefully and closed the door of his room. I stood in the centre of his room for a minute, taking a moment to bless how dry the clothes felt, and to notice how much heavier the stone in my stomach grew upon not seeing Malon's hints of her presence around Link's apartment. What happened?
I stripped quickly, half peeling the material of my dress from my skin due to how heavily soaked it was, and quickly revelled how Link's clothes cradled me in warmth. I hung my dress in the en suite bathroom's towel rack, hoping it would be dry by tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow...how was I now getting home?
"Zelda!" I heard a frustrated call from the living room. "Come here." His voice was raspy, more or less likely from the harsh windy air of the outside torrent. I was never used to seeing the authoritative side of Link, so I scrambled out as fast as I could. I found him sitting at the couch facing the TV, which wasn't on, fists clenched and back straight.
"Yes?" I tried to keep it as casual as I could, despite his obviously enraged demeanour.
"Sit down." When I hadn't immediately obeyed, he fixed his dark gaze on me. Normally, he would have laughed at the oversized outfit I was sporting, however he simply held my eyes until I found myself sitting beside him. There was a long pause, and then Link leaned back in a deep sigh.
"What tea would you like?" I blinked.
"W-what?"
"Well?"
"Uh..." I fiddled with the hem of Link's shirt, not wanting to be put on the spot. It made the anxiety already present threaten to boil over.
"You're staying here tonight." He stated sharply, yet quietly. I tried to contain the surprise I had on my face, but it was all too clear when I looked over and saw him get up to make his way to the kitchen that it as truly a surprising thing to say for both of us. It's not to say I hadn't stayed over before, there have been times where I'd been studying for too long and passed out or we'd simply fallen asleep watching a movie (to which he'd poke me up and tell me to go to his bed while he reserved the entire couch), however he had never told me before, as if it was a preconceived plan. I couldn't help but feel I was inconveniencing him, like he felt he needed to stay with me or else I'd crumble apart. It was not a nice feeling.
"Link..."
"Zelda." He turned then, holding a kettle, to pierce me with his authoritative half-glare. I searched his face for explanation, but I still felt like a deer in the headlights. "Please. Stay with me tonight."
He turned back to sorting out a movie as I felt the whorl of implications that suggested. I felt a bubble of uncertainty rise in my gut, followed by a spread of warmth. I didn't want to ask him about what happened with him and Malon, however I felt it was the reason behind his insistence was distraction. I watched him slide the kettle onto the stove, and a snapping sound alerted to the stove being turned on. He opened a cupboard and ruffled through for two matching mugs, placed on the counter a little too forcefully. He placed his hands on the counter, lowering his head for a long, dragged breath.
"Link..."
"What?" He half-snapped, looking up at me. His eyebrows were knitted together in a frustrated expression, as his hands clasped into fists atop the counter space.
He realized his tension and anger, and loosened up a bit, although it didn't alleviate his anger. He turned away from me to tend to the kettle, just now deciding to fill it with water. I stared for a moment longer before getting up from the couch. I made my way slowly to him, as if any noise made on my part would shatter the air. The tension rose from him in droves, and it was heartbreaking. He dissipated my situation with his enough that I felt I hadn't been emotionally torn apart not forty five minutes ago.
My hand pressed gently into his back, and I felt the muscles underneath seize in surprise. I extended my other hand to cup his cheek in order to turn him towards me, my actions careful as he was once again meeting my gaze. He exhaled sharply, sending a wave of his cologne to my nose.
"Are you alright?" I began carefully, feeling my thumb take a mind of its own as it stroked his still-wet face. I watched as he relaxed his body, as if in defeat, and released a heavy sigh. His hands wind around my waist, and in an instant his face was buried into my shoulder, hair splayed against my cheek. I responded automatically, my arms sliding up his back and repeating rubbing in comfort.
"Thank the goddesses for you." I heard him mutter into my hair, letting another sigh deflate his body. A wave of sadness rushed over me, new wound to the previous sadness I felt. I couldn't tolerate seeing Link upset. The instances were few and far between, so it was not only surprising, but extremely alarming.
My forearms had soaked in the sitting rain of his back, and the shivering returned the longer I held him. Sickness shouldn't be getting the best of him now.
"How about you go change, okay? I'll take care of the tea." I murmured into his ear, once again taking his cheek into my hand. It was freezing.
He took a moment before responding. "Alright." He released himself from our embrace and headed to his room, quietly closing the door that contrasted his mood.
I took this moment to breathe in the air, made warm and humid from the kettle which was in its beginning of a whistle. No linen, only earth.
I frowned. Whatever had happened, he definitely didn't want to talk about it. I ignored the pang of borderline betrayal I felt that he didn't want to tell me. Usually I was the first to be called in times like these, where Link found himself upset enough to be snappy or otherwise upset. I would be interrupted in my daily life to listen to him rant furiously, passionately, about how Malon had refused to go to a study hall with him, or how she looked like she'd been getting too close to her Bioscience partner. There was a discernible difference in his silence regarding this subject, meaning only that something truly bad had happened. I suppose, I thought as I sorted out our tea, that it's not my place to pry. I debated this as Link reemerged, donning pyjama pants and a fitted hoodie, a "U of O" across the white material in clear red print. I gauged his expression; it was contemplative. His eyebrows were still marring his brow, eyes troubled with frustration. He started towards me, coming close enough for him to embrace me again. Instead, he reached behind me and calmly took his mug.
"Come." He ordered, returning to the couch and setting his mug down. I followed suit as he crouched at the television, sifting through movies almost mechanically.
I settled into the sofa, pausing briefly to reach behind and take the folded blanket behind my head. My bones were wrought with frigidness to the core, and I secretly prayed, selfish as it was, that Link would wrap his arms around me again.
And he did just that, upon popping in a DVD and adjusting the television before curling his arms around me. He slipped himself under the blanket, and I was dead centre in the most comfortable place on Farore's green Hyrule. I resisted the urge to further snuggle myself in. I didn't want to disrespect how badly he was feeling. We had usually gotten closer during small moments like this, however it was cut due to our respective relationships. It was nice to feel so natural upon being absent for months.
We sat in silence for awhile, watching the pointless plot of a screwball comedy, no doubt Link's effort to make us both forget our heartaches, before he finally spoke.
"Are you alright?" I took stock of myself; although I didn't feel whole, his arms felt like they were supplying what I needed in order to avoid thinking of Kafei, alleviating the sadness and replacing it with irritation.
"I am...angry." He leaned back to look at my face, our faces not inches away.
"My Zelda? Angry? Wow, feisty now, aren't you?" I felt a smile warm my face at his teasing, and the last of my unease of how he was feeling disappear. I rubbed his chest with my hand playfully. I could still see tightness in his eyes, but I wasn't about to pass up the jesting he offered.
"I learned from the best over here." I saw as his eyes warmed a bit more, and blessed how relaxed he felt underneath the half of my body that was draped along his side. A large hand gently caressed my back soothingly. He stared at me for a longer moment, before turning back to the television.
"You know," he began, shifting me closer. "I could beat the Chu jelly out of him if you asked me to."
That produced a genuine laugh on my part.
"Oh, really?"
"Really. If that's what would make it better for you." I contemplated this.
"Would you do other things for me if I asked?" I searched his profile, watching as his calm expression turned to one of surprise. He took a moment before responding.
"...What do you mean?" I paused as I considered the double meaning of what I said, and scolded myself briefly.
"I mean, would you break into his apartment and get my things back? My Ooccoo slippers are still there." Link laughed at that. Good.
"Yes, I would. I would definitely do that if you wanted. You'd bring them here?" I nodded my head against his chest.
"Navi would just take them and wear them into the ground. They are safe here. Unless Malon wanted to wear-" I mentally slapped myself for mentioning her. I felt Link tense once again, and slightly release me to push me away as he sat up more. Din, Din, Din. That was so stupid.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-"
"It's fine, Zelda."
"I mean, you don't want to talk about it, so I'm happy to-"
"Zelda, I said it's alright. Just...please." He stared blankly at the television, and I leaned back to study him, a feeling of embarrassment for pushing it arising in my gut. I adjusted myself so I was an appropriate length away. He looked like he needed the space. A long, pregnant silence progressed, as I debated going home in order to give him space. I weighed the option of leaving, despite Link's insistence I stay, and side-glancing at the window with the rain pattering outside and the premature darkness that had seeped into the sky, I feel it would be arbitrary in even attempting to walk the twelve blocks to my dorm room. He was still silent, and it was piercing despite the white noise of the window being barraged and the quieter movie playing. His cup, now empty, was sitting on the table, threatened to be knocked over by the heap of blankets and pillows that surrounded Link and I. I took the opportunity to scoop it up and rise, a silent resentment building in the fact I needed to leave my warm, comfortable nest. I reached the sink, and rinsed the cup. My mug was still half full, a habit I had in spending time with Link; he'd always favoured finishing what I had started. My thoughts were interrupted suddenly by the telltale jingle of my phone receiving a text. I glanced over my shoulder at the front door, watching the cell's light illuminate the corner of the darkened entryway. I slowly made my way to the phone, feeling as if it were a Bombchu threatening to detonate. I leaned over, almost not daring to touch it. I managed to see the letter grace the face, and picked it up. May as well get this over with. I slid the phone open, and read the words: Look, I know you don't want to talk to me, but I think it's better if we meet. Please meet me Zel. It was in that moment that the ghost of anger that was caught in my chest bubbled into full-fledged rage. Who in the goddess-damned world did he think he was?! Someone who is able to have every available option, with no consequence? I clapped the phone off within a heartbeat, letting my anger influence my hitches in breath. Terrible, terrible boy. I set my phone down, and huffed as I walked back into the kitchen, mimicking Link's actions of placing my hands on the counter for a few cleansing breaths. I quickly tried to calculate where I could go that wouldn't feel suffocating; Kafei's was obviously out, Navi would bombard me with questions if I suddenly showed up, and Link's irritated with me. Perfect. I focused on the swirl pattern of the counter, pathetically attempting to maneuver myself out of my emotions, when I heard a soft voice cut through my anger like a knife.
"Come here." Link was standing beside me, hand now touching my arm in comfort, and slowly pulling me into him once again. For an instant I felt a breakdown was destined in those few minutes, however Link's calming "shhh" and "it's okay"'s were pushing back the feeling little by little. I circled my arms around his waist gratefully, letting him sway us from side to side. I found solace in hiding my face in his chest, while he stroked my hair rhythmically. Soon the lump in my throat was gone, replaced with the exhaustion of being pelted with raindrops while emotionally devastated. Link has stopped swaying, waiting for me to be alright to separate myself.
"Thank the goddesses for you, Link." A silence passed, and Link's arms tensed. At first, I thought he was about to pull away. However, in that same moment, I felt the caress of his lips press into the top of my head. I felt my bad feelings entirely leave my body, almost immediate, and found a comfort in him at that instant that I had previously only felt in our most understanding times with each other. I leaned back to assess him very slowly. His eyes were now relaxed, but his brow was still tense, as if debating his action. He stared back with a fierce intensity, one that compelled me to explore it further in fear of not getting another chance. I slowly began to close the gap of our lips, with him returning the favour. I watched him pause for a slight moment, staring at my lips, as if studying them to memorize every detail. His arms gripped tighter around my waist, and upon a sharp exhale on his part, he finally eased his lips onto mine.
His mouth was hot, but not heavy. I didn't feel the passion because we were both confused, but it was fading fast. I returned every advance he did, and soon it had moved from uncertain evaluation to our tongues fighting. His hands were becoming mobile, finding my hips before climbing to my cheeks and neck. I returned the favour in taking his face in my hands, running them through his still-damp hair. Our bodies, at first separated, had turned into supports for each other, my hips finding his, my chest pressed into his own. After that point, it turned frantic. Link's hands had a new grip, a harder and more forceful one. I myself became more aggressive, catching his lip with my teeth as gently as possible and gripping his face with growing desperation.
"Zel-" he would begin, as if to coax me to stop, before being caught in the action so much that he couldn't help himself. "We—need to—sto..." I wouldn't let him finish. His half-hearted attempt to pace this out was failing miserably, and it took the best of him in the form of him feeling down my waist, to my hips, and hoisting me up to his own hipbones. I gasped at the event, leaving him an opportunity to dominate my tongue with his. Oh, Farore, he tasted sweet. We remained there, lips meshing together, kissing in a frenzied panic, not being able to stop. Suddenly, I felt too hot. The T-shirt and pyjama pants were now weighing me down instead of comforting me. Link seemed to have this same thought I did as he set me onto the kitchen counter, closing the space between my legs, and toying with the hem of the T-shirt. He never stopped kissing me, travelling from my lips, to the corner of my mouth, to my cheek, to my ear. I let out a sigh as his teeth caught my earlobe, tingles shooting up my spine violently. I pressed my hand into his, guiding him to slip my shirt higher. It was entirely too hot. Link paused for a moment to pull the shirt over my head, exposing the bright pink bra that I had previously been afraid for him to see. The T-shirt was forgotten on the floor, and I felt his hands make their way to my rib cage, almost touching my breasts but not quite. A half moan found its way through me when he had travelled to my chest, letting his tongue drag around and sloppily kissing areas that made me shiver with anticipation. I responded by pulling the back of his sweater over his head, ruffling his hair cutely and letting him leave my body with his mouth to pull the rest of his hoodie off. He compensated for leaving my body upon throwing his hoodie to the side, to yank on the string of my pants. In a heartbeat, they were off as well due to the fact the string was the only thing managing to keep them on considering Link's pyjamas were oversized on me. Link closed even more space between us, and I took the liberty to wrap a leg around him, hands half-clawing at his back. He responded with meeting my lips, tongues playing with each other. I felt one of my hands trail onto his chest, smooth and hard, drag to his lower stomach. A sharp exhale issued from his lips upon this action, even further solidifying the excitement when he raked his hands over my chest. I let my fingers fall further down, and give the waistband of his pants a slight tug. I felt him press more into me for a fraction of a second, our kiss deepening, before he suddenly broke away, allowing air between us and leaving me wanting paused then, each gasping with excitement, staring intently at the other person, disoriented almost entirely. His hands remained on my ribs, gently gripping me, however slowly removing them and creating more space to my chagrin. I watched as his light in his eyes dimmed somewhat, then snap off entirely as a frown started to form. His eyes flitted down to my chest quickly, and in a hasty abandon he leaned over to scoop up the discarded T-shirt and pressed it into my arms between us. I felt the rock in my stomach roll into a boulder. He took a step back, until his hands touched the counter opposite mine. In this confusion, I still felt the need to rake his body with my eyes despite myself. He leaned against the counter behind him. He sighed for what seemed like the thousandth time, eyes lingering on my body for a longer than necessary moment before looking down, away from my body. I took stock of what he must have seen. Me, clutching his T-shirt and hardly covering myself, legs apart on his counter, hair wild and dishevelled. In that instant I imagined myself, I felt like the biggest idiot in all of Hyrule. He is entirely regretting this. The lump in my throat returned with vigour, and in that moment I had felt loss twice of that of Kafei's deception and the sense of loneliness. Rejection from my best friend, allowing it to let me drown in the discomfort. At this moment, I wanted to run; brace ten storms if that meant it would dispel the discomfort I had caused. I shifted uncomfortably for an instant, hoping through Nayru's divine miracle that I would know exactly what to say to evaporate this unpleasantness. When nothing came out, Link spoke instead.
"Zelda..." His tone was one of uncertainty, as if it was the beginnings of attempting to explain why we should stop, or why this isn't right. Deja vu racked me. Twice in one day? I thought bitterly, letting the sting seep into my gut further. In his response, I felt victimized, for lack of better words. Although I wasn't any better, having been rejected and looking for some sort of comfort, in his avoidance I found a certain sense that he wasn't using me for the connection we had. Simply for the feeling of reciprocation. I suppose when I didn't respond, his second "Zelda...?" was met with me quickly getting up, shivering against the open air on my bare skin, and headed quickly for his room without looking at him. I ignored the impulse to pull on the T-shirt he gave me and left it on the kitchen floor. I would just have to take it off anyway. I passed his doorway and headed straight for his washroom. I eyed my dress, hung up by Link, on the towel rack. I gave it a quick run-over with my hand. Still damp. However, the heater vent was aimed straight toward it, so at least the strings were dry. I'd feel less like my dress was trying to tear my shoulders off, I suppose. I took a second of bracing in the knowledge that I'd have to try and pull the freezing and wet fabric back onto my body, but not before I heard a tap on the door frame. I felt my heart stop for a brief second. I hadn't planned for this. I tried to route an escape plan in my head, any one that would prevent me from feeling the sting of his explanation of why this all was a mistake. I didn't care about the excuses of why this had just happened, I just wanted to ignore the fact of what I'd just done. Which wasn't very possible, considering I felt myself grow hot as the fact I know he was facing me while I was donned in the least possible amount of clothing. The warm apartment air against my back was still enough to wrack a shiver through me. What do I do?
"Zelda." It was no louder than a whisper, but had the effect enough to turn me around. Before doing so, I slipped my dress off the towel rack—it was freezing—and attempted to use the flimsy material as a cover for the embarrassment of my borderline nakedness.
His eyes were very tight, and he stood in such a way that looked almost...awkward. He clenched one fist, and his back was straight as a board. He wouldn't make eye contact, he was more so looking above me. Trying to respect my obvious shattered dignity that cut through the tension with unpleasantness. I felt the need to provide some contribution finally, my voice easing out cracked and broken.
"I'm...sorry—I just, I shouldn't have done...that, uh..." My attempt at smoothing the situation out created jagged juts of awkwardness. It was an attempt of explaining things without telling him my true feelings, already failing miserably.
"Zelda."
Say something, or he'll come closer. Something akin to a squeak and hiccup escaped me instead, and hot fresh tears trailed their way down my face once again. I hadn't realized I had been crying again.
"Din," I muttered, turning to the sink and quickly slaking the tears away before I accidentally drowned myself (at this point, drowning in my own tears was a very possible outcome of the night).
"Please." Link had approached me, gently taking my shoulder and guiding me into his chest. I found solace in the fact that despite him causing these tears, he was still the solution to the broken feelings I was experiencing. Why was I experiencing them? Because I was an idiot. I used him as a convenient exit for my feelings, an outlet. When he was already pained by his own heartbreak.
"I'm sorry." I murmured through the fabric of his shirt. A brief pause before he spoke.
"For what?" He whispered, letting his chin rest on my head, a standard position for our usual embraces.
I half-pulled away, surrendering to his grip however when he refused to let go. I felt my damp dress slip through my fingers and hit my feet, but at this point I was too enveloped in apologizing to care. There was still a warmth, still a fire that burned so deeply in me, for him, that I couldn't bring myself to say anything without being wracked with guilt. I used him.
With no answer, he tensed. And with that came a swift scoop of my legs, catching my breath off guard. He cradled me and turned, pausing to shut the bathroom light off. My foot grazed the door frame as he reentered his bedroom, a very dim light illuminating the walls, as the door leading to living room was just barely cracked. I could still faintly hear the movie, a white noise I was grateful for. Any distraction from what just happened was welcome in my books.
I felt him shift my weight in his arms, and realized he was hovering me over the bed. The thick white blankets were already mussed enough (thank chronic late rise Link for that) that he simply swiped at a corner and created a gap to slide us both into. His hand found my waist, reassuring and strong; he never ceased to comfort me. His scent filled my nose with a gentle waft, and I was once again reminded of Malon's absence. A jolt of uncertainty pinched me in my gut, and I instinctively loosened myself and created more space, even though every nerve in my body scolded me for it. Now was not the time to seek comfort from him when there's so many unanswered questions. A little late for that thought, Zelda. For a while, we didn't speak. My only indication that Link was still awake were his breaths, shallower than usual. I contemplated his reasons for this; him assuming I was tired, wanting me to sleep off this horrible, awful feeling, leaving and never coming back in the morning-
"Malon ended things with me." He cut through the silence, in a quick and quiet hush. I considered his words carefully: his tone was so evasive, he clearly wished not to discuss it. My heart closed off the hurt that infiltrated me. I needed to put aside my feelings for now.
"Why?" Was all my inept, inelegant brain could manage. I felt a light vibration from him. He was chuckling.
"Smooth, Zel." Hands reached for me again, and this time I did nothing. I let him take me into his chest, holding all my pieces together with forgiveness. I relinquished my pride; I wanted him to hold me.
"She came home from her three day Bioscience trip last week." My heart stopped. I knew his next words. "Sheik really is a go-getter." I felt a writhing dread shoot up my spine. I had dismissed his concern with her lab partner as nothing more than a commonplace jealousy on his part.
"Link, I'm so sorr-" He pressed me against him more tightly, effectively silencing me with his warmth and intoxicating smell, and methodically began grazing his fingers through my hair, leaving me to ignore the goosebumps of anticipation. Anticipation I had no right to prepare for.
"I turned it over a million times in my head. Why would this happen? Why would she throw away a relationship like this?" He trailed off, seemingly preoccupying himself with stroking my hair, which was getting more and more distracting with each passing second.
"And?" He sounded as if he had a smile in his voice.
"And...she told me." He ceased his petting, much to my chagrin. He compensated with leaning up, hovering over me. I could feel his breath on my face, and my lungs seemed to have immediate trouble taking in any air. "She told me, 'if you can do it, then I can do it.'"
"Huh?" That made no sense. Link was devoted from what I saw of him. Or rather, what I didn't see, which just proved his loyalty regardless.
He paused before rolling off me quickly and sighing with a frustrated groan.
"This was a lot easier when I thought you were going to leave, and I had time limit to explain." Another silence passed over us. Frustration began to boil within me. I was too exhausted for this game right now. I sat up, scooting over to him. I placed my hand on his arm for good measure. He sighed again, before tracing his hand down my arm to take my hand within his. He was eternally confusing, this boy.
"Link, what's going on?" My frustration rivalled my exhaustion now. A long pause ensued. And then...
"She just...didn't want to be with someone so preoccupied with someone who wasn't her." If there was a point where he could have drive me beyond reason, that point was now. I pulled my hand away.
"Link, if you don't tell me exactly what's going on, why I'm not allowed to ask you direct questions, why we just did what we did in the kitchen, why I'm still here-" Links lips found my neck before my sentence could finish. The sensation was marred by the pure shock that raked my body. His lips never left as he pushed my softly back into the bed, dragging a hand down my side in a sensual certainty.
An unintentional gasp escaped me as I felt him climb on top of me. A stronger exhale when his hands climbed from my hips to my chest, chest to face. He took the opportunity to grant himself access to my mouth, dragging up to meet my lips, and my tongue was more than willing to comply. I felt a panic grow within my stomach. He tasted so...sweet. His kiss felt...familiar. I could feel myself slipping into less reason, less care. His lips trailed back to my neck, allowing for a moan and an arched back on my part. He took the liberty to crawl a hand along my bare back, and slip a finger underneath the strap, my only concealment. My frenzy for him grew tenfold; my hands grabbed his face and thrust it back to mine. I heard a low groan force its way from him. Fingers, against my wishes, found their way back to his waistband, and this time he didn't stop me; his hips braced against my hands instead, coaxing me to venture further. I broke away briefly at this point, to shove him downward so I could climb on top of him. He responded with a tug of my elbow, dragging my face back to meet his desperately. Our breaths collided with one another violently. His cologne wafted to my nose, prompting me to bury my lips in his neck, just as he had done me. My tongue swirled, and I felt his breath catch and break in a moan. Had I been more inside my head, I would have smiled. But before I could even ponder his reactions, his hand was tugging on my bra strap in controlled energy, slight hesitance as he conveyed what he wanted. It was then that I smiled. I climbed to his ear, nipping at his earlobe wetly. A shiver wracked him, and he clawed at my back and hips respectively.
"On..." I purred, all traces of uncertainty or confusion gone, "...or off?"
Another nip at his ear, and he was frantically pulling at the clasp.
"Ah..." He moaned lightly, attempting to unfasten me while trying to stay as composed as possible. I'd never seen—or felt, for that matter—him so excited. One hand found its way back to my cheek, pulling me to meet him again. His tongue delved deeply inside my mouth, and mine was extremely welcoming. I felt him twist his wrist, and his tongue froze. His fingers were now keeping my bra together across my back. I felt his hesitance snap back into place, and for a moment I was terrified of a repeat of the kitchen. So instead of allowing him to slip into pulling away, my hand, almost with a mind of its own, reached between my own legs, and gave a long, slow, sensuous drag over his pants, which to my chagrin had yet to be removed. A surprised exhale on his part let me know I hit my mark. His hand fell haphazardly from my back, and with it went my bra. I slipped my arms through the loops, and he carefully pulled it from between us, gently, tossing it over the edge of the bed. Chest to chest, he pulled me closer yet, stroking my back from hips to neck, warranting a shiver up my spine. He did not kiss me again, he only held me for a long moment. If there was ever a time to feel vulnerable, I was not granted that feeling now. I felt so safe, so warm, so welcome. I nuzzled into him further, letting his calming breath guide mine. I felt my eyes drift close. Nowhere else would do where I was justice, at this confusing, inexplicable moment. Even if...this wasn't what we were. Who we were. To each other. What would happen, I wondered, when this was over? When the clothes are forgotten, when the only separation from each other is the darkness, when the cries grow louder? After all that, what will become of us? Will it be understanding, will this bed become my nights, my dream, or will we succumb to silence, to distance, to glances when we think the other isn't looking?
At that moment, I felt smaller. My right leg reached down, and I slowly slipped into the crook of his side, his arm wrapped around my waist, preventing me from breaking contact. I held fast to him, my head resting on his shoulder, his pull drawing me against him firmly. I didn't want to leave him.
He seemed to understand my thoughts, because he sighed loudly. The breath dissipated into a laughter that shook him, and me in turn. I was too lost in thought to comprehend what he said for a few long moments.
"She figured out that my little Zelda had my heart above all else." He stated simply, giving my hip a reassuring rub. "'If you can do it, I can do it.'" He quoted her words again. Words that became more refined with understanding as my breath stopped and my eyes opened. I pulled back to his resistance, to stare at his barely-illuminated face. From what I saw, he was calm. But my hand laid on his chest, told a story of a rapidly beating heart. He stared at me for a moment, his eyes pools of black that grew more uncertain. He let out a nervous and humourless laugh, prompting another shake his chest. He reached a hand to stroke my cheek, swiping underneath my chin briefly to tap my jaw closed. I hadn't realized I was gawking.
"Say something." He said quietly, almost a whisper, not daring to blink. I couldn't comprehend this. Was this a dream? A wonderful, amazing, insane dream...? When I couldn't form words, he continued, backtracking. "I mean, I understand if you don't feel the same way." His hand dropped from my chin slowly. Uncertainly. "I know that this isn't the best time. I'm a gods-forsaken idiot for mentioning this now. This...this time is meant for you and I to...to heal, and...recover..." He backtracked, catching his words with an attempt to explain himself.
"I...didn't choose to love you. It found me." He removed his other hand from my hip, and his head dropped back into the pillow. He gave the ceiling a hard stare. "I fought it for long time. I avoided you. I blamed classes, I blamed work, I blamed Malon. All to avoid you." I felt my tears build. "And when Kafei had you, I couldn't sleep. I couldn't focus. I was so...irritable. It wasn't until Malon was halfway through leaving I realized...she was right. About everything, she was right." One of my tears fell and broke on his chest. His breath stopped.
"Zel, please don't cry. I'm so sorry I never told-" My hand dragged his face to me, and I silenced him with a soft kiss. I wanted to convey everything my words could not; sincerity, comfort, thanks. Thanks for him, for his care. And for giving me the realization, that I could love him just as easily.