A/N: Hi guys! Getting a little less shy about posting and this plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone!

Let me know what you think!

The One Who Should Not Be

Prologue: Rebirth

Fleur LeBeau thought that this only happened to teenage girls in fanfiction. 'This' as in the whole 'get dumped into your favorite fandom as a relative of your favorite character' thing. It should not happen to a Thirty-two-year-old Marine just back from a tour in Afghanistan. Because really, she was over thirty. She was too old for this shit.

Fleur LeBeau didn't die dramatically with regrets and all that jazz. She didn't have dramatic angst to wax poetry about. She didn't even have a sob story. She had lived her life with her fair share of challenges. She had served her country and had been proud of her service. She had made friends, made enemies and just lived her life. She really couldn't blame cancer for being cancer. It just sucked that it got her in the end.

Fleur LeBeau had been raised in a mostly-Christian household. Thus, she hoped for pearly gates and didn't really want to see hell fire.

She was not amused with the… blankness.

She was understandably upset when she was then squeezed out and smacked in the ass and thoroughly rubbed down. Like any man-handled woman she had let out a rather angry yell. Or, what had been intended as a roar of rage turned into…

"WAAAAHHHHHH!"

Oh she did not just…

"WAHHHHH!" Oh good, wasn't her.

"Gwahahhhhhhh!" Oh crap. That was her.

The world wasn't blank but it wasn't much either. It was a series of colored blobs that moved about. Whatever kind of afterlife this was Fleur LeBeau was not satisfied and would very much like to see the pearly gates now please.

No luck. Just babbling of what Fleur hoped was some kind of language. Great. Anytime someone wanted to explain? No? Of course.

The non-life from there was a series of sounds and blurs. There was the feeling of fatigue and hunger so if this was the after-life it sucked.

It sucked even more when her vision cleared up and she promptly screamed when she saw a massive face. Great. The afterlife was filled with giants. She was going to be eaten by giants.

There was a lot of babbling and someone else crying in the background.

It took Fleur a good while to figure out what had happened. A good while because it took her a good while to take a good look at her limbs.

She promptly burst out crying because son of a bitch she was now a chubby baby. And if the wailing from beside her was any indication…

"WAHHHHHHH! AHHHHH!"

She wasn't the only baby in the room. That… could actually be helpful. No need to be labeled a freak.

Turned out, baby number two was clingy when given something. Fleur had made the mistake of poking the kid once and was now the designated comfort-pillow and slobber-toy. Still, baby number two was cute. He was a rather smiley baby with a gummy grin and stubby limbs. Fleur didn't think that she was quite the same but she could be wrong.

There was also an older kid. Black eyes and black hair. Obviously related to baby number two. Fleur kind of hoped that she wasn't adopted and if she was it wouldn't look too obvious. Having blond hair would stick out like a neon sign in this place. Dear lord don't have her have blond hair…

The two adults were hopefully parents and not in charge of the orphanage or something like that. Being an orphan would suck. Fleur was used to having a loving family, she wasn't willing to give that up.

Just when she was settling into her nice new non-life she got a rather nasty shock. Finally her baby brain and her baby ears had developed enough for her to process the babble as words and language. Her eyes had also gone back to working at normal capacity so… of course that was when things went downhill.

Hopefully-Mother was holding a giggling Baby Number Two was in her arms and trying to avoid having the pull the hair off her scalp. Fleur was obligingly reaching for the stuffed animal that Older-Kid was waving about. Then Hopefully-mother turned around and on the back of her clothing was… was… it was a table-tennis racket. Well, it looked like one at least. Red paddle-like shape with a white grip thing. Who the hell wore a table-tennis racket on the back? Was Hopefully-Mother some kind of athlete?

Evidently not. Mainly because one day they were let out of the house. Okay, they were still babies and had to be carried but they were let out of the wooden house and walked down the street.

Most of it was babble but…

"Uchiha-san!"

That, that most definitely wasn't babble.

Fleur could have dismissed it, she really could have. Except…

"Kono ko wa Sasuke. Sochi ra wa Chiyomi."

Uchiha. Uchiha Sasuke. Tennis-racket thingy. SON OF A BITCH!

Oh she had better not be in some fictional cartoon. She refused to be part of Bleach! Wait… no that didn't sound right. What was it? Oh. Oh yeah, Bleach was the one with the weird-sword-wielding ghost-thingies. Then what the hell was… Ramen? Wait, no, who the hell named a series Ramen? What was it? Natto? Close but didn't seem right. Oh who cared! The point was that she was in some sort of fictional universe related to a pretty major character and with no idea how the plot develops past episode two. Great. Just great.

For heavens sake she was thirty. Not some teenage girl. By the time she had been introduced to… what was it? Nabana? Naturi? Na-something, she was already a Marine and the blond kid was annoying. He yelled, he was obnoxious, he had no respect for his elders and it was such an inaccurate depiction of ninja life that she had snorted in disgust and refused to continue the series no matter what her friends had said. In Fleur's opinion, ninjas were stealthy badass-assassins that worked from the shadows. Not flashy idiots who ran around thinking that the world revolved around them.

Ninjas were supposed to be smart, sly, a shadow that you never noticed. Not monologue about their evil plans and yell for the whole world to hear. Ninjas were supposed to blend in, complete rigorous training to become elite warriors that served their lord from the shadows. Not dressed in wild colors with no concept of stealth.

Fleur hadn't been impressed and after the blond kid got the fan girl and the emo bastard well, she had decided that she had better things to do with her life.

Well the universe was definitely laughing at her now. Why couldn't this have happened to someone who had at least watched the stupid cartoon? Yes, yes, anime not cartoon. Same difference.

This crap was supposed to happen to teenage girls in their fantasies. This was supposed to happen to fangirls who wrote themselves into the story trying to 'fix-it' to their liking. This wasn't supposed to happen to a Marine who hadn't gotten past season one, episode two. So why pray tell has it happened to her?

This would suck.

On the bright side, Baby Number Two's name was Sasuke. Good to know.

Older-kid turned out to be named Itachi.

Fleur's new name? Uchiha Chiyomi.