A/N: This is the first chapter of a little experimental thing I'm working on right now. Sort of an "SBSP BLUE" sort of thing where Spongebob is a CSI or something. Anyways, enjoy and REVIEW.

PROLOGUE:

Robert Hyde, better known to the world as "Spongebob Squarepants" , sat in the life-saver chair (a going-away gift from the last episode of his show) in his modest two-story house, awaiting the arrival of a crew from "the other side". Everyone Robert knew was frightened, even his stern friends from around the block.

Visitors? From the other side? This had never happened in the history of the town, maybe even in history of the Pacific. To tell the truth, Robert felt that they had somewhat of a right to be afraid. He didn't know who the glad-handlers were. They may be approaching him to put himself on another piece of merchandise, and if that occurred, Robert had only one short and sweet phrase he had planned in reply:

"Go fuck yourself."

He smirked at how great that line would sound surrounded by humans, and a part of him hoped he had a chance to use it, but at that point, a knock resounded over his metallic door. Robert stalked over to the door, taking his sweet time, before taking a breath and opening the door.

A man in a see-through cellophane like device attached to a rusty oxygen tank grinned back to him. "Robert Hyde." he said in a hollow voice, greeting him like a old friend. He held out his wrinkled and well-tanned hand. "Matthew Harrigan, foreign correspondent for NBC Nightly News." He took his hand and shook it briefly, the cellophane feeling oddly peculiar against his spongy flesh. "Pleasure, Mr. Harrigan." he said wearily. They stood for a couple seconds before the sponge decided to break the ice. "You'll want to come in, then?" he asked. Harrigan laughed, creating breath against his cellophane shield. "Of course. Sorry for making you wait." He walked, followed by a camera man and a boom mike operator, which were all covered in their own cellophane suits. Robert shut the door.

The crew sat in a sofa while Robert moved back to his chair, which was directly across. "So," Spongebob asked, eager to get this over with quickly. "Are we rolling?" The cameraman tapped a couple buttons, then said with a smile to him, "We are now." Robert felt somewhat disturbed. These men were treating him like the retarded character he had played on television for thirteen seasons, that terrible period before he had found his true calling, and it had always been a death wish to mention that terrible "past life" anymore. "All right." Robert said, deciding to get this out of the way. "Whaddya got?" Harrigan looked squeamish. "Well, the main reason we're here is due to a tip from your co-star on that classic television show, Patrick Star." he started, not looking away from his eyes, then after a short pause, said "Is that really his real name?" The cameraman zoomed the camera in on "Of course not." Robert said. This man was already coming across as an incredible dullard. "He's already a starfish. His parents wouldn't call him that. His real name is Richard Patton." Harrigan made a quick note on a small notepad he'd taken out of one of his pockets along with a pen, and carefully wrote down a note.

"Interesting." he murmured, then when he finished, he looked back up and continued. "Well, it's come to the attention of the people above the surface that you've made a name for yourself not only as a children's icon, but as a law enforcer." Robert nodded his head. "That's correct."he said. Harrigan continued. "Well, NBC Nightly News wants the exclusive story of your first case. So, if you will for us, please begin."

This made Robert almost yell at Harrigan. That suit-wearing bastard came into his home and was telling him what to do. He almost told him and the other cellophane bitches he brought with him to get the fuck out. But...he couldn't afford another media snafu. It was this or nothing.

"Fine." Robert said, trying to keep the anger out of his voice. "Here goes."

A/N: Smart Alec sez "REVIEW! AND WATCH OUT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!"