The bodies of their enemy lay scattered throughout Earth. It made Major Coats sick just to look at them. He scrambled through the rubble as the cheers of victory died down. He refrained from joining in. Right now, all that mattered was saving as many lives as he could. "Men, search the rubble for survivors! We'll have time for drinks later."

"Aye!" Several of his men answered. He nodded an acknowledgement and began to dig, finding an overwhelming amount of bodies; Turian, Krogan, Asari, Human.

"Lay the deceased in a line. We can give them a proper burial later. Take the wounded to the vehicles for emergency transport to Holborn." He worked fast, knowing time was not on his side. He did not want to lose anymore than the reapers had already taken. They scavenged the land for hours, more people joining in as they searched the rubble.

Major Coats wandered away from the group toward the three pillars that transported Shepard to the Citadel. There were bodies everywhere, human and husk. Overturned vehicles served as coffins for their passengers. The ground was scarred from Harbinger's fire.

He tripped, stumbling forward. Looking down, what he saw made a lump form in his throat. He kneeled down, picking up the familiar helmet, emblazoned with the N7 logo. It was the same one that Shepard had been wearing when they first met several hours earlier. He had heard of her, of course. Anderson told stories about her war efforts and bravery to give the soldiers something to hold onto and inspire them to keep fighting against insurmountable odds.

"Major, what are you doing out here?" He turned to see a fellow major clambering toward him. "Now isn't really the time for re-" He stopped, noticing the helmet Major Coat's was holding. "Is that...?"

"Yes," he replied simply. "I just wonder if she's nearby. If she's..." He trailed off.

The Major nodded. "I'll help you look." The two began walking the area around the pillars, moving rubble aside. As they moved, something faint caught Coats' ear.

"Wait!" Coats held a hand up. The other major paused, standing. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" The major asked.

"Listen!" Coats crept forward silently. He heard it again; a faint, garbled breathing sound. "This way." The two rushed forward, tripping over the rubble as they ran. Major Coats saw a faint glint from a pair of dog tags from one of the fires burning behind them.

"N7 dog tags..." The Major trailed off, noticing their insignia as they got closer.

Major Coats felt his heart race. He dropped the helmet he'd been carrying as he lunged to his knees. He flung rubble to the side frantically. As he moved a large chunk, he heard the breathing again. He then allowed himself to look at the body's face. "By god," he murmured in awe.

"That's not possible, is it?"

"With her, anything is."

ooo

The Shepard

Disclaimer: I don't own Bioware or Mass Effect. I beat ME3 (I know, I'm late to the party) and wanted to make a story based on my femshep's storyline and how I think things continued after surviving the Destroy ending. So the choices and appearance reflect my shep and I'm sorry if they conflict with your canon. I'm just writing this for fun.

ooo

Chapter 1: Live and Die on This Day

ooo

"I'm seeing it, but I can't believe it." Admiral Hackett breathed as he looked down at the stretcher. They were aboard his alliance vessel as it still had a fully stocked medbay, opposed to what would be left on Earth.

"All vitals are stable somehow. By all means, she should be dead. I don't know how she got to Earth from the Citadel and survived. It's a miracle." The doctor prattled, pacing back and forth.

"Well, Dr. Yatski, she seems to be full of those." Hackett touched her hand. It was warm. Alive. "How long until she regains consciousness?"

Dr. Yatski shook her head. "I don't know. She's really stumping me here. Her vital signs are unusual. Her brain activity suggests intense dreaming. Her record shows that the same thing happened after she encountered the Prothean beacon on Eden Prime. I'm not sure if the experience is similar or not. Her record also shows she was dead for nearly two years. This is really beyond me."

"I wonder if Ms. Lawson would know anything about this." Hackett put a finger to his communicator. "Does anyone know where we can find Ms. Lawson?"

"If I'm not mistaken, she is in the lab where the crucible was created."

"Can someone patch her through to the bridge?"

"Right away, Admiral."

Hackett nodded and turned to Dr. Yatski. "Call me if anything changes." She saluted as he left the room. Miranda was already present, though in hologram form, when he arrived. "Ms. Lawson, have you heard the news?"

"About the reaper defeat? Yes. I had hoped for this, but for it to have actually happened, it's unbelievable. I doubt that's why you called me, though."

"You're a smart one, Ms. Lawson. You see, we attached the crucible to the Citadel, but it was Shepard who activated it and saved us all. She was on the Citadel when it was damaged in the process. We thought we'd lost her in this."

"Thought?" Miranda inquired.

Hackett nodded. "Major Coats found her body in London and she was somehow still alive. We have no idea how she got to Earth, but I don't think anyone was expecting her to survive and yet here she is."

"She's cheated death twice now. It sounds like Shepard's a lucky one." Miranda smiled.

"I was wondering if it was more than luck."

"Ah. Are you suggesting that this is because of Cerberus' implants?"

"The thought crossed my mind."

Miranda paused, putting a hand to her chin. "I didn't know the Illusive Man had interests in controlling the reapers back when I worked for him. It's possible that something went into her synthetics that I wasn't aware of, but the likelihood of that is low. With all the effort we put into bringing Shepard back to life, I would never want to see her die, but adding anything to prevent death would compromise her integrity, I assumed, especially if she found out. Finding out you're immortal would definitely change someone; cause them to take greater risks without the fear that often keeps us in check. So I refrained."

"So she survived of her own accord? How did she get back to Earth?" Hackett asked, more rhetorically than anything.

"She's a strong one. I may have had my doubts about her once, but we survived a suicide mission together. I never doubted her again after that." Miranda began pacing. "No one could have survived a fall from the outer atmosphere to Earth, not even Shepard. She may have defeated death, but she's not above the laws of physics. She would have burned in the atmosphere."

"My thoughts exactly. I guess it does no good to toss out wild theories especially with all the rebuilding we have to do."

Miranda nodded. "We should count our victories."

"Admiral, could you report back to the medbay?" Dr. Yatski called over the communicator.

"I'll be right there. Thank you Ms. Lawson for all your work. Hackett out." He closed communications and exited the bridge, taking the elevator to the medbay. When he arrived, Shepard was looking at the ceiling, her eyes glossed over. "Is she awake?"

"Not quite. She opened her eyes, murmured something I didn't understand, and has been staring at the ceiling. She is still having high frequency brain activity, but it's slowly lowering back to a normal function. It'll most likely be a few days before we have any concrete progress."

Hackett nodded. "If she wakes again, call me. In the mean time, I have a galaxy to help rebuild."

OOO

Joker walked into the AI control room, sitting on the work table that had been turned into a bed during Legion's stay. "Hey, I just thought I'd come and talk." Joker paused, looking at EDI's body. It lay on the bed still, lifeless. "I remember the last thing you told me as we left Earth after picking up Liara and Garrus. You said that you believed in Shepard. You said that if anyone could do it, she could. And then you said," he had to stop, breathing deeply so he wouldn't start crying. "You walked over to me and said that these might be our final moments. You told me how you would cease function for me. You had come to that conclusion weeks ago, but you never told me. You said that you owed me after I protected you all these years and set you free. If I had known those were going to be our last moments," he sighed, shaking his head.

They had held each other, kissed, EDI had stayed in his arms as long as she could before retreating back to her usual seat so they would be ready for anything. "The Normandy's not going to be the same without you. How are we supposed to fly smooth? How are we supposed to know all those minute, private details of each other's lives? Who's going to laugh at my lame jokes or help me come up with new ones?"

EDI was silent, her eyes closed. The AI core was silent as well. He had to place her name placard on the memorial wall honoring the deceased in the crew's living quarters. It was so final. He knew he wasn't alone in this. Liara also had to place Shepard's name on the wall, which she did reluctantly. She claimed that Shepard could still be alive, but they had all seen the light leave the Citadel and how it destroyed the relay behind them. There wasn't much hope that she had fared any better than EDI.

"You gave your life so everyone could live. I guess we're even." Joker reached for her hand. It was cold, metallic. "So you can come back now." He dropped her hand and covered his face, hiding his tears.

ooo

Dr. Chakwas stood looking at the AI Core door. She could hear Joker sobbing. She decided to leave the medbay to give him more privacy. She walked, lost in her own thoughts, and found herself at the memorial wall. She read each name. So many had been lost; Kaiden, Mordin, Thane, EDI, Anderson. She ran her hand along Shepard's name, feeling the bumps of the letters beneath her fingertips. She ducked her head, tears coming to her eyes. "Oh, my dear friend." She composed herself and shook her head. "Of course you'd die now. It's your turn to buy the next bottle."

"She owes me a drink as well." Garrus stepped beside the doctor.

"That seems to be a common theme with her." Dr. Chakwas managed a tear-choked chuckle.

Garrus' mandibles twitched. "We made a deal that if we died, we'd meet at the afterlife's local bar and should one of us make it there without the other, we would keep that seat warm until we could meet again." He bowed his head. "Perhaps she's warming a seat for you as well."

"I wouldn't doubt it." Dr. Chakwas whispered. "I wouldn't take you to believe in the afterlife, Garrus."

"Heh, well, after everything that happened, I can believe in a lot. And," he added, "it's a comforting notion if nothing else. I refuse to believe that the last time I see her, she's running toward yet another suicide mission without me."

Dr. Chakwas nodded silently.

"Anyway, I'm off to get my own drink in this lifetime. I just need to clear my head." Garrus motioned with his head toward the lounge.

"That seems a bit counterproductive." Dr. Chakwas raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, clearing my head of all the negative thoughts that keep nagging me."

"As you were," Chakwas nodded. Watching as he disappeared into the lounge. She turned back to the wall and rested her head on its cool metal, letting her tears fall freely.

ooo

Liara lay on Shepard's bed, her arms positioned as they had been when they last slept together the night before their attack on the Cronos Station. She imagined Shepard's weight, the feel of her body, the scent of her hair. Her imagination brought Shepard back to life. The image was so vivid that she could see their last night together, how perfect everything had been. How they had looked out at the stars above them. In all her time on the Normandy, she never took the time to just appreciate the stars as they flew alongside them. One could become lost in their vast numbers. She wished they had, but knew they couldn't for the sake of everyone.

There was a knock on the cabin door and just like that, the image was gone. She was brought back to reality. She ignored the knock, trying to recapture the moment, but it was gone. She heard the door open, but didn't bother to move or even look to see who it was. She had no energy, no tears, nothing left. "I thought I might find you here," Steve Cortez said, walking over to the couch and sitting down. On the table was a picture of Liara. She was smiling.

"Oh?" She inquired weakly.

There was another photo on the wall. Liara and Shepard were holding hands with a drink in front of them. They were so happy. "I knew this couldn't be easy and I went through something similar with my husband, so I wanted to be here for you if I could." Silence stretched between them for several minutes, but Steve stayed.

"I mourned her once," Liara commented finally, "and she came back. We were together again. I just had this feeling when the Normandy picked me up back on Earth and she ran toward that beam that I'd never see her again. I told her 'I'm always yours' and I meant it. Oh goddess, I can't go through this again."

"Liara," Steve said quietly, sympathetically.

"And part of me wonders still if she's truly gone. I wonder if she did find a way off the Citadel. She's survived against worse odds. Though if that blast sent us crashing to that jungle planet and we were that far away, then at close range..."

"You never know, but whatever the outcome, I'm here for you." Steve looked over at Liara. She had wrapped her arms, which had been hugging thin air when he first walked in, around herself. "Robert was a remarkable military man. We served in different branches, so we didn't see each other much when we were on duty, but that made the moments we were together that much more special. I'd been mourning him for over a year, clinging to a recording I made of his voice without truly hearing the words. It was Shepard that got me to finally listen and know that Robert wouldn't have wanted me to waste my life mourning him. He'd want me to live. He gave his life so I could live. Without Shepard, I'd still be playing that recording on loop in the early hours of the morning."

"I did not know that." Liara sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "She truly is...was...is a remarkable woman. Being such a long lived species, we are given the lifespan talk at an early age. We learn that we will outlive nearly all of our bondmates, but we come to accept this and instead of choose to cherish the many years we spend with them. We have memories to treasure and celebrate how they touched our lives." She rested her head in her hands. "I had such little time with her and what time we did have was spent at war."

"It's not easy, dating someone in the military." Steve looked down at his lap. "I had several good years with Robert, but I never got to spend the time with him that I wanted. I had no idea that during that last shore leave back in Rio, it would be our last before he died saving me."

"Shepard made me leave the fight. Right after, Harbinger attacked and nearly everyone died. She saved my life." Liara looked over at Steve. "Perhaps we have something in common." Steve nodded. "Thank you for talking to me. I appreciate it."

Steve stood and nodded. "If you need me, I'm always down in the shuttle bay." He walked toward the door. "Take care, okay?"

"Yes, I will." Liara watched him leave. She stayed on the bed for a while longer before standing. She suddenly felt extremely hungry, not having eaten since their crash landing. As she walked toward the elevator, she bumped into a slender, female form. "Samantha," Liara said in surprise.

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you'd be up here." Traynor looked down, not meeting the Asari's eyes. "I just came up here to feed the fish. I know I told Shepard that I'd never do it, but it's been a few days and I bet they're starving."

Liara felt a small smile cross her face. "I can't say I've thought to feed them."

"Yeah, and there's some rare ones in there." Traynor looked from the tank to Liara and back again. "Look, I'm sorry about everything that's happened. Shepard was a good friend and an amazing woman. I can't imagine what you're going through."

"It's hard, but I believe in Shepard." Liara walked through the doors and left through the elevator.

Traynor watched the fish swim about the tank. She pushed the feed button and watched as they nibbled at the flakes. "I guess this means we can't have that rematch. Perhaps that's for the better. I would have kicked your butt." With one final glance at the fish, she left the room.

ooo

"Oh, Garrus, I didn't know you were in here," Tali said, surprised, as she entered the lounge.

"Yeah," Garrus nodded, motioning to the bar stool beside him. Tali slid onto it, grabbing a glass. "Just clearing my mind."

"Right," Tali said accusingly. She pulled a straw from her pouch and placed it in the glass. She began mixing different types of Turian alcohol, making her usual blend. "And I'm preparing to be queen of Rannoch."

"Your majesty," Garrus bowed.

Tali laughed, "Bosh'tet."

"Such language from a royal official. I bet Diana Allers could make a story out of this that would get you thrown from office." He teased.

"Oh I'd love to see her try." Tali cracked her knuckles. "So clearing your mind, hmm?" The Quarian turned her head to face the Turian.

"Okay, I'm drowning my sorrows with enough alcohol to have a Krogan out of commission for a week."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," she sighed sadly. "That's the same reason I'm here, honestly. I just can't believe she's gone. Here I was thinking she was immortal."

"I think most of us had come to believe that." Garrus turned his half empty glass in his hands.

Tali poured herself a glass and sipped it slowly. "I just keep thinking how Liara must feel, or Joker having lost EDI and I think, Keelah, what if I'd..." She stopped, embarrassed. "Nothing."

"If you'd what?" Garrus asked, his mandibles twitching.

"Well, you know." Tali sipped her drink, avoiding the answer. Garrus kept looking at her. "Oh fine, what if you'd been lost? I just, I lost a good friend and comrade and many members of my fleet and to have lost you, too..."

Garrus looked at his drink thoughtfully. "Shepard forced us aboard the ship in her final moments. If she hadn't, then I'd be in the same boat as her right now in that afterlife bar. It's thanks to her that I am here. I hated leaving the fight, but I'm glad that I could be here with you."

"Shepard's done so much for me." Tali shook her head.

"And for me as well. Never has there been a better soldier." Garrus raised his glass. "To the best human and friend I could know."

"To Shepard," Tali raised her glass as well before draining it as best she could with a straw.

ooo

"Yo, Esteban, where you been?" James called out, wiping his brow with a rag, as Steve stepped off the elevator.

"I was talking to Liara."

"Oh." James threw the rag down. "How's she holding up?"

Steve sighed, walking over to his tool bench, "She's doing about as well as you'd imagine. She's hurt, but she's also still hopeful that Shepard survived somehow. That hope is probably the saddest part to me."

"Why?" James asked with a shrug. "It's Shepard. Maybe she did survive."

Steve shook his head. "I don't see how she could have survived. You saw the crash landing that blast forced us into and she was at ground zero of that blast."

"She was also at ground zero for going through the Omega 4 relay, the collector base, destroying that relay in Batarian space, taking Harbinger's laser, fighting Sovereign, Going to Illos, and other things that I'm sure I haven't heard about." James rolled his neck from side to side, stretching his arms.

"She's done amazing things, but she's still human," Steve sighed, grabbing his welding helmet and heading to the shuttle.

James returned to his own work, taking the hint. "Just don't give up on her until we know for sure is all I'm saying."

ooo

"All engines are go, Joker," Adams reported as he scrolled through all his data. "The relay is broken, but we can now travel at faster than light speeds with little to no trouble so we can at least attempt to make it back to Sol."

"Thanks, Adams. I'll set course in an hour." Joker answered.

"Understood." Adams turned from his data and leaned against the console. He sighed, turning to Daniels and Donnelly. "I'm going to take a quick breahter to get my head clear before we head out. Alert me if anything happens."

"Aye," Donnelly answered.

"I'm glad we're finally heading out," Gabby commented as she stretched and began pacing the room. "The ship has been too quiet lately."

"I've actually been happy for the rest, though resting does give you time to think." Kenneth watched Gabby.

"You? Thinking?" Gabby joked.

"Hey, come on, I do think."

"Yeah, about when the next issue of Thessia Girls is coming out."

"I've just been thinking about Liara—"

"Liara?" Gabby interrupted, raising an eyebrow.

Kenneth held his hands up, "It's not what ya think. I mean Shepard was an awesome woman, but I didn't know her as well as the rest of the crew. I'm sad, but I'm not as sad as Liara, her girlfriend. It just makes me think about what would have happened if, with the collectors, or just now with the reapers, I'd have lost you."

"Kenneth," Gabby's expression softened. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him. "Don't think about it. I'm fine, the ship's going to be fine, and the galaxy's going to be fine."

Kenneth pulled her close in a tight embrace. "I didn't say it before the fight, or with the collectors, because I always assumed there'd be more time, but we never know what's going to happen so we have to live for now."

"What are you talking about?" Gabby asked, looking into his eyes, trying to decipher his intentions.

"Gabby, I love you. I've loved you for a long time, but I just never knew how to say it."

"Kenneth," Gabby smiled, "I love you, too." Kenneth kissed her again. "Now what do you say to us venturing toward that psychotic biotic's old hideout?"

"You read my mind, girl," Kenneth smiled seductively.

ooo

"She did it. She did what my people could not do. I had underestimated her." Javik remarked to himself as he walked from the war room. The two guards didn't bother to scan him as he left, engrossed in a deep conversation they were having.

He walked past Traynor, ignoring her greeting, and took the elevator down to the third floor observation deck. He stood, looking out at the stars. "For the first time in my life time, I can look out upon a free galaxy. If only my men could see this moment."

"I bet they'd be proud, happy." Javik turned, hearing the unexpected voice.

"Ah, Williams, I was not aware of your presence."

"I thought Protheans were always aware." She crossed her arms as she approached him.

"I am...distracted." He continued gazing at the stars. "I have been in mourning my whole life. I have seen countless others die as well as my men. I grieve for them daily and wish to join them someday soon, but your Commander, I am grieving her now as well. I am conflicted between feelings of victory and feelings of loss. I did not think her death would affect me as it has."

"The Commander has a way of doing that to people. She has such a natural gift of leadership. She makes you care and feel like you can win against impossible odds. I joined her to take down the Geth, but then I learned how big this whole war actually would become. I wasn't always with her and I regret distrusting her, but I am proud to have served alongside her. I grieved and cried, but the feelings of victory, of what she accomplished, are conflicting." She stood beside Javik. The two gazed out at the stars, all the free systems, together in silence.

ooo

"Attention everyone!" Joker's voice crackled over the intercom, causing both of them to jump. "We're on our way once more. The relays are severely damaged, so we're having to take this manually. It's going to be a long ride, so I hope everyone has some good reading material. I believe Ashley carries a bookcase with her at all times. There's also a fully stocked bar if anyone wants to celebrate the defeat of the reapers." Though he was making his usual jokes, his voice was flat, unemotional. "Now hold on to your hats, this is going to be a bumpy ride. Adams, if you'll do the honors."

"Everything is go. Starting engines, approaching max velocity in ten, nine, eight," he counted down to one and no sooner had it left his mouth, Joker pushed the Normandy forward, shuttering into the stars.

OOO

"Brain activity has stabilized, finally. I think she'll return to full consciousness soon. She wakes briefly every now and again. She keeps muttering something when she does, but I can't understand her. It's probably a result of the heightened brain activity. As for physical injuries, they're slowly healing. She'll be feeling them for awhile."

"Thank god. It's been a long week and I needed this good news." Hackett rubbed his forehead.

"Oh?" Dr. Yatski inquired. "I've been so occupied with Shepard that I haven't been keeping up with the recovery efforts."

"It's been touch and go. Our focus has been on the Citadel and our local mass relay. On Earth, we can't even begin to start rebuilding until we finish clearing all the rubble, but each country is doing their part. It's all going smoothly, but it's just so much at once. Most of the races have departed for their worlds to work on their own mass relays, traveling at light speed as best they can to try and reach home, but some have stayed behind to help with our relay and the citadel. We all agree that recovery has to be a galactic effort."

"That's good at least, but it's so much work. I can't imagine the scale of the damage."

"It's a large scale, but we have to just take things one step at a time."

Shepard stirred, causing both of them to rush to her bedside. She twitched before sitting up violently. "How can you make me choose?" She accused, raising a clenched fist. She looked around the room wildly.

"Whoa, your injuries are still healing. You need to lie back down." Dr. Yatski placed a firm hand on her midriff, trying to get her back down. Shepard struggled against her. "I don't want to sedate you, not after you've been out for so long."

"I have to...I have to," Shepard stammered, still struggling.

"Commander," Hackett spoke calmly, but with authority, "the reapers are dead and the galaxy is safe. Whatever you did up there worked."

Shepard stopped struggling and looked at Hackett as if she were just now seeing him. She turned her head to the doctor, taking in her surroundings. She lay back down, grunting in pain as she moved. "What happened?" She asked weakly, her voice pained and full of confusion.

"You've been unconscious for a week, muttering in your sleep. I managed to bandage and treat most of your injuries, though you'll have some scars after this. You took a beating out there. I'm not sure how long it'll take for you to completely recover, but it's a miracle that you're alive," Dr. Yatski explained as she looked over her charts on the datapads.

Shepard still looked confused and dazed. She turned to Hackett, hoping for answers. Hackett cleared his throat. "You're a damn hero, Shepard. I don't know what you did on the Citadel, but you opened the arms and a red light engulfed the galaxy. The reapers died, every last one of them on every planet. The mass relays were damaged as was the Citadel and are top priority for repair now. The recovery effort is daunting, but going smoothly thus far. Major Coats found you partially buried under rubble where the beam was located still alive and we immediately transported you to my vessel so you could have the best medical treatment we can offer at this time. We weren't without casualties, but you saved the lives of billions, trillions, of species across the galaxy."

"So, it's over." Shepard closed her eyes, taking in the news. She felt extremely tired, everything she'd been through over the past four years hitting her at once.

"I should let you rest. It's good to have you conscious." Hackett stepped away.

"Wait," Shepard called weakly. Hackett stopped. "What about the Normandy?"

"She flew through the relay ahead of the beam fired from the Citadel. I sent a message to the crew and they're making their way back here slowly. I didn't tell them that we'd found you in case something happened and you didn't wake up. I didn't want to give them or anyone that might over hear the information false hope, especially Ms. T'soni. I've kept your recovery quiet to prevent her from finding out. She is a very good shadow broker and I have no doubt she's been searching for news on you to share with everyone."

Shepard coughed. "Can I talk to the crew?" She was struggling against the need to sleep now, her body pushed to its physical limits.

"Later, soldier. Right now we need you to be healthy. You've been a symbol of hope to everyone and now you're a symbol of victory. We can accomplish the impossible with you."

Shepard grunted, trying to say something, but sleep finally overtook her as she closed her eyes, lost to her dreams.

ooo

End chapter 1