'Just sign the damn paper lady! You know I'm fit to fly!' Poe slammed the report down on Holdo's desk and she fought hard to suppress the aftershock that ran through her body. She didn't look up, knowing that would only fuel his anger. She kept her gaze neutral and focused on the papers before her.
'Mr Dameron, you need my recommendation before you can return to work.'
'I don't need anyone's permission.' Poe said leaning forward. 'I belong in the skies.'
She met his eyes then and saw the fear that resided there. For all his bravado, Poe was just a frightened little boy on the inside. Afraid he would never be good enough. Afraid she would never give him a second chance to prove he was. Holdo fought her sympathetic feelings towards him, kept the alluring temptation to ease his pain at bay and did her job.
'If I let you go now Poe, you won't be out there five minute before you pull another dangerous stunt and you'll end up right back here or worse... in a coffin.'
They both stared at each other for a moment and Holdo fought to keep her breathing steady. It was difficult. Poe was an attractive man but up close, he was truly breathtaking. Dameron broke eye contact first and stormed out of the room. Holdo sighed. This weekly occurrence was starting to become a very unwelcome part of her routine. Every time she didn't clear him for duty, Poe became more and more distant and she was starting to wonder if she was ever going to get through to him.
Later that day, Poe jabbed angrily at the elevator controls and the minute the doors closed, he slammed his fist into the cold hard steel. The contact helped sooth his temper momentarily and he leaned against the lift wall, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. The lift stopped and the doors opened. Ben took one look at his friend and quirked an eyebrow, 'Holdo?' He said with dry amusement.
'Shut it Solo.' Poe growled as he came to stand shoulder to shoulder with Ben.
Ben laughed, 'Stop fighting against her, she knows her stuff Poe. Give her a chance.'
'Ben I didn't step out of the flight simulator yesterday, I've been flying as long as you have. I know everything there is to know. I don't need some prissy duchess with a superiority complex telling me how to do my job!'
'Duchess?' Ben said with interest, 'Hey, I'm on your side, remember.' Ben said softly with a smile and Poe's mind cast back to their days at the academy.
From day one, they had always competed with each other, each fighting hard to be top of the class. Instead of creating conflict between them, they had quickly become firm friends and were seen together so often that people had joked that they were attached at the hip.
They had found common ground as they both wanted to follow in their parents footsteps while simultaneously making something of themselves and their temperaments has been so well matched, both impulsive and reckless bordering on dangerous, with a intense passion for flying and women.
Ben had been the ultimate wingman and they had been legendary party animals, well known for their conquests in the air and in the bedroom. Until, Ben had clapped eyes on a very pretty brunette named, Rey. In an instant, Poe had known Ben's bachelor lifestyle was at an end.
Then everything changed, and suddenly Ben had decided he wanted to be an instructor after graduation and Poe was left chasing the spotlight alone. He didn't mind though, Rey had soon become one of his best friends, a friendship which had only grown deeper since she had become a permanent member of the Solo family.
Ben sighed and looked at his friend, 'Poe if you don't complete this programme...'
They were interrupted by the lift doors opening again. She was looking down at a folder in her hands and when her shrewd eyes met his, he saw her take a deep breath to compose herself before entering the confined space.
Oh now she hates me so much she can't stand to be in the same lift as me? He thought to himself with annoyance.
'Poe.' She said with a vacant stare, then her eyes met Ben's and her face broke into a smile.
'Ben.' She said warmly.
'Hi Amilyn.' Ben said leaning forward to kiss her cheek and Poe rolled his eyes. Ben and Holdo had known each other since Ben's birth so they were naturally very close, but it still made Poe uncomfortable.
Ben had told him Holdo was like a sister to his mother, General Organa. He was grateful to her for the support she gave to his mother during the divorce. Poe summarised then that she couldn't be all bad. Maybe I just bring out the worst in her, he thought dryly.
Amilyn stood in front of Poe and he detected a hint of vanilla in the air. It distracted his thoughts and his head cocked to the side as he observed her form from behind. She was wearing a fitted cream dress that hugged her waist. He ran his eyes down her shapely legs. They shimmered slightly. Tights or stockings? He wondered to himself. He kind of hoped she was a stockings kinda gal.
He heard a snort to his left and turned to find Ben looking at him with raised eyebrows and an amused expression. Poe chewed his gums and looked away. Ben would tease him mercilessly later he thought with dread and it would only get worse when he related the entire story to Rey.
What the hell was wrong with him? Was he crushing on the enemy now? He couldn't deny she was attractive but she was the thorn in his side, the joker to his batman...well no that didn't really fit. She was more of a cat woman. Yes, cat woman. She would look good in a catsuit...well shit. He really was in over his head. The one woman he couldn't stand had apparently become the star of his sexual fantasies. Fuck. He really was a sadist.
Holdo tried to maintain her composure but she could feel Poe's eyes on her. She assumed he was hoping she would burst into flames under the intensity of his gaze so she suppressed the shiver that tingled down her spine and stood up a little straighter. She would never give him the satisfaction of knowing he had any affect on her, though it was impossible to deny it to herself any longer.
Amilyn Holdo was always sent the difficult cases. Her job was to assess their physical and mental states, decide if they could be rehabilitated and then do whatever it took to get them back in the air, or out of the door. Whichever was necessary. Sometimes it meant she had to be the bad guy, the voice of reason or the mirror of truth for a person in denial. She had a bit of a reputation around the base for being a cold hard bitch. She knew they called her that and she made out that she didn't care, but sometimes she cried late at night because she hated how they saw her.
She wanted to scream that it wasn't who she was! She was so much more than a clipboard and a stern expression! But years of experience had taught her it was better to hide her true self under the facade and let them see what they wanted to see.
When Leia had called to tell her she was sending her Poe Dameron, she had been ashamed of her own reaction. Her heart had sped up and her palms had started to sweat. She knew who he was of course, and had in fact followed his career for years, she remembered when some of her parting charges had bought her a charity calendar Poe and his squadron had been a part of. It was all in jest of course, and she had laughed with the rest of them, but when she had arrived home that evening she had skipped straight to Mr December. He was wearing a Santa hat and low slung jeans, and nothing else. She had starred at his bare chest and come to bed eyes for sometime before retiring. She had thrown the calendar away years ago but that picture was still stuck to her fridge with a heart shaped magnet holding it in place.
'Why me?' She had asked.
'Because you're the best.' Leia has replied.
'I think Poe would respond better to a male therapist.'
'Amilyn, I only have you and Tallie on staff right now, and let's be honest, he would eat her alive. I'm sure you can resist his charms.' She said with a chuckle.
Holdo bit her lip. It was just a stupid crush. She told herself. You can manage it. She prided herself on being professional at all times. He was just another arrogant pilot. She had dealt with enough of them. No big deal.
'What did he do?' She asked with growing curiosity.
'It was a routine exercise, he made a decision that almost cost one of his team members their life. When I reprimanded him...he threw a chair through a window.'
Okay arrogant with anger management issues. Always a welcome mix. She felt uneasy about the arrangement but something inside of her told her she could help him. She always listened to that little voice within. It had guided her well. Holdo sighed,
'When is he arriving?'
She could hear Leia's relief, 'Thank You Amilyn. I knew I could count on you. Between you and me, he's the best I have since Ben decided to go into teaching. I need him back on duty ASAP.'
'I'll see what I can do.' She replied.
During the day, Holdo taught wellbeing classes and saw patients on the base. The day that she was scheduled to meet with Poe Dameron, had been the same as all the others yet she had found herself choosing a tight fitting lilac dress that ended just above her knees and matched her bold hair colour. Holdo liked to keep her hair bright and unconventional, that way no matter how bad her felt, catching sight of her hair in the mirror would always make her smile. She pulled on her stockings and fixed them at her waist with a lace suspender belt. Tights were more functional of course, but stockings felt more...sensual, plus it was like a little secret only she knew about. As a psychologist who specialised in PTSD she knew the importance of embracing life's little pleasures.
Sitting in her office with her legs crossed nervously, he had blown into the room like a cold wind, granted a very attractive cold wind but one with a serious chip on it's shoulder. She felt the wall of hostility radiating from him and her heart pounded in her chest. Part of her wanted to match his anger with her own, and the other part wanted to beg him to give her a chance, to see something that no one else saw, just this once, but she pushed the thought away and focused on her job.
He sat in the chair opposite without prompting. Putting his heavy boots up on her desk and crossing his feet at the ankle.
She looked up then with a raised eyebrow and a sour expression,
'Mr Dameron first impressions cannot be re-created.'
'I find its better to set the bar low and work my way up.' He said with a smirk and Holdo tried not to imagine him kneeling at her feet and uttering those same words.
'Let's get down to business shall we?' She said opening his file. 'You've been sent to me for behavioural assessment. You have six weeks to convince me that you are well enough to return to your station, if you don't improve, I will have no choice but to recommend you are relieved of duty. Do you understand?'
'No.'
'Would you like me to repeat myself?'
'No I understand the words coming out of your mouth, I just don't understand why I'm here or why all this is necessary.'
Holdo stood up slowly, walked around to where Poe was sitting. Keeping her eyes on his, bumped his feet off the desk with her hip. She leaned against her desk and folded her arms.
'You disobeyed a direct order, endangered a team member and destroyed General Organa's office. That is why you are here.'
'Rules are meant to be broken and I did apologise to Hux, though it was his own fault, I told that little fucker to stay out of my way, and I'm always destroying Leia's office! She knows I'm a hot head...'
'I'm afraid it won't wash anymore Dameron, Yes, Leia has a soft spot for you...'
Poe smiled and Holdo felt her heart jump.
'But...she also knows that she can't cover for you forever, if you don't grow up, she will have no choice but to discharge you.'
Poe's smile vanished.
'I want you to really try to engage with this programme.'
Poe rolled his eyes.
'For Leia.' Holdo said pointedly.
Poe looked at her then, and his expression softened. Holdo allowed herself a slither of hope.
'Fine. I'll give you a week, that's longer than most of my relationships.' He said with a smirk and a wink and just like that her hope evaporated and her libido leapt into overdrive.
That has been three weeks ago, and she only had three weeks left to get Poe back into the air and prove she was worth her salt to Leia. A job which has been made infinitely more difficult by the inconvenient fact, that she had fallen in love with the swaggering idiot and he appeared to hate the very ground she walked on.
The next day, Amilyn decided to gather intel on her wayward pilot. She walked down the corridor to Ben's office, her heels clacking on the tiles as she stepped. She knocked twice on his open door and though he was involved in a phone call, he smiled warmly and motioned for her to enter. Holdo took a seat and waiting for Ben to finish. He hung up the phone and smiled at her.
'So, what can I do for you?' He asked.
'It's about Dameron. I was wondering if I could ask your opinion.'
'Sure, ask away.'
'Nothing is working, he resists me at every turn. I've already wasted so much time. You know him, do you have any insights?'
'Poe is a simple creature, he has two pleasures in life, flying and women.'
Amilyn shifted slightly in her chair, 'that doesn't help me.'
'Doesn't it?' Ben said with a lopsided grin.
Amilyn narrowed her eyes, 'are you suggesting that in order to get Poe to listen to me, I should... flirt with him?'
'I'm not suggesting anything. You asked me a question, I answered it. How you interpret it is up to you.' He shrugged.
She considered his proposal. It was risky, but she was sure Poe's feelings would be protected. It was only her own heart that would be in any danger but then she was a big girl, she could take it and if it got Poe flying again, it would all be worth it.
'Okay. I'll think about.' She said. 'Thanks Ben.'
'Anytime.' He said with a smile. 'Dinner on Friday? Rey is dying to see you again.'
'Absolutely.'
While eating a lack lustre salad at her desk and making some notes about cognitive behavioural therapy techniques, Amilyn's mind once again wandered to its favourite topic, Poe Dameron. Was Ben right? Was that the key to getting Poe to open up to her? Allure? She rubbed her thumb over her bottom lip.
'Penny for your thoughts?'
Amilyn looked up to see Luke leaning against her doorway. She smiled,
'I'm afraid they aren't that interesting.'
'From the look on your face just now I suspect you're lying but I can see you don't want to talk about it so I won't push the issue.'
Luke 'Skywalker' Organa was the general manager of the base, a retired pilot with a legendary reputation. His nickname 'Skywalker' was bestowed upon him by his squadron after he defeated each of them in head to head training exercises.
Luke was such a natural pilot they joked that he could probably beat them without the plane. Hence the nickname, Skywalker.
'What can I do for you Luke?' Amilyn asked. Luke entered the room and stood by her desk.
'How's Poe doing?'
'Fine.' She said avoiding his eye.
'That bad huh?'
'I just need to find the right technique.'
'You don't have a lot of time...'
'I'm well aware of that, did you have anything of use to tell me Luke?'
'I just wanted to say. Be careful.'
'What?'
'Everyone knows that Poe has a bit of a reputation...I would hate to see you get caught up in that.'
Amilyn bristled. This was the first time that Luke had ever questioned her capabilities and she didn't like it, 'I'm not some starry eyed school girl Luke, our relationship is strictly professional.'
'See that it stays that way.' He said, before he turned to leave.
Amilyn glared at his back. How dare he! Wait...he couldn't be acting this way because he was jealous could he? They had had a brief relationship many years ago but she assumed all that was over. Maybe it was only over for her?
She shook her head as she packed up her bag to leave. Best not to dwell on that right now. She only had time for one problematic man at a time.
The evening she locked eyes with Mr December while drinking a large glass of red wine.
'See what you've reduced me to?' She said lightheartedly. 'I never drink.'
She cocked her head to the side and considered Ben's suggestion once more. The more she thought about it, the more it appealed to her, but that might have been the wine talking. She took another sip.
'Is that what you want?' She asked the picture, moving closer and running a finger over the image. 'Do you want me to flatter your ego before you will trust me? Or do you need something deeper from me? Maybe you don't fear female leadership maybe it just makes you uneasy because you know deep down, you crave it?'
Now that would be a course of therapy she could get behind. She imagined herself in a classroom standing in front of a chalkboard with a pointer in hand. She hit the board and the resulting 'whack' sound made Poe jump in his seat. She lowered her glasses and pointed at him.
'You. Here. Now.'
Poe stood up so fast, his chair screeched on the floor. He was before her in a second.
'What have a told you about chewing in glass?
'It's not permitted.'
'It's not permitted...what?'
'It's not permitted ma'am.'
'That's better.'
She held out her hand in front of his mouth.
'Spit it out.' She instructed.
Poe let the gum fall into her open palm and she deposited it in the bin.
'Now, I told you there would be a punishment if you disobeyed me again didn't I?'
Poe nodded slowly keeping his eyes on hers...
Knock knock knock.
The sharp rapping at her door jolted her out of her fantasy and she pulled her hand away from the image. She sighed, it was probably her next door neighbour again. He was always bothering her with thinly veiled cooking questions which he always hoped would lead to a dinner invite. She wrenched open the door already plastering a fake smile on her face when he mouth dropped open at the sight of Poe Dameron.
'What are you doing here?' She asked.
'I came to talk to you.'
Amilyn licked her lips and rubbed them together.
'Aren't you going to invite me in?' He asked.
'I shouldn't. It's against policy.'
'Come on, I won't bite.' He said with a wink. God, she wished he would stop doing that.
She sighed and stood aside, he grinned at her as he squeezed past. He started to take off his jacket as he looked around. She watched as it slid down his arms. He was in her home! Meters away from her!
Alright. Calm down for goodness sake. Act your age.
Amilyn cocked an eyebrow and put her hands on her hips.
'When you're finished appraising my valuables, I would appreciate it if you could tell me why you are here and how the hell you got my address?'
Poe sat in what happened to be her favourite chair and pushed his tongue into his cheek.
'That's confidential. I could tell you but I would have to kill you.'
Amilyn tried to squash the smile on her lips and rolled her eyes. Wait, was he...flirting with her?
'Okay, well say what you came to say.' She said hurriedly. Taking a seat opposite him, wishing desperately she hadn't left her wine in the kitchen.
'Look,' Poe said leaning forward. 'What's it going to take to get you to let me fly?'
Amilyn's eyes widened. What exactly was he willing to do? Okay Amilyn, get your head out of the gutter. She swallowed,
'Just engage with the programme Poe.'
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. It was no use. They couldn't continue to have the same argument over and over. She decided to give her new strategy a try.
She leaned forward and smiled at him. An unguarded smile, one she would have normally tempered, tugged at her lips.
'Poe,' She said keeping her voice low. Breathy even. He looked at her instantly. Good, he noticed.
'Poe I'm not your enemy. I want to help you. I can't do that if you keep shutting me out. Please, give me a chance. I will do everything I can to get you reinstated. I promise you.' She reached forward and squeezed his forearm slightly. 'You have to work with me.'
Poe focused on her fingers and feeling bold she let her hand run up and down his arm a little.
'Well?' She asked softly.
'Okay.'
Amilyn let out the breath she had been holing and smiled,
'There, that wasn't so hard was it?'
Poe ran a hand through his hair and Amilyn tracked the motion and bit her lip.
'I'd better go.' He said suddenly.
She smiled and nodded. Standing up to walk him to the door.
'See you tomorrow Poe.' She called as he left.
'Yeah, tomorrow.' He called back somewhat distracted.
She closed the door and leaned against it. It had worked! He was coming around! All she had to do now was keep him interested.
