Author's Note- This story is posted on another site as well, still trying to get comfortable on this site. I feel like those who post on here are the cream of the crop and I'm not sure I belong here lol. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
Chaos.
It was the only way to describe the scene they had rolled up on, the night sky was illuminated by the flashing lights of the various fire trucks, ambulances, and patrol cars.
Kim Burgess stopped counting the vehicles when she hit twenty, it was unreal. This was by far the biggest case she had worked on since being called up into intelligence. Judging by looks on her colleagues faces it was the biggest case they had all worked on.
They'd seen horrible shit, but nothing like this.
The warehouse was massive and still fully engulfed in flames, the heat radiating off the building was intense. It was freezing but yet the flames licking at the building had warmed the air a bit.
It was the strangest feeling.
Adam looked over at her, "You okay?" He could see it in her eyes, this was hitting her right between the eyes.
She nodded, "Yeah." It was soft, and not entirely true. She often wondered if she had what it took to be in the unit, not that she was questioning her ability to work the cases. That she could do, but she sometimes wondered if she lacked the mental fortitude for it. These cases were never pleasant and you needed to turn your emotions off, it seemed everyone could do it.
She couldn't.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't. The faces of the victims haunted her dreams, and she loathed making death notifications. She often found herself trying to blink the tears away as she held the hand of a distraught family member. She would sit in the locker room at the end of a case and cry her eyes out.
She had hated the night Olinsky caught her.
"Hey, you alright?" Al crouched down in front of her.
She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment of all the people who could've walked in the room of course it would be him. As if he needed another reason to question her ability as a police officer. Quickly she wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, "Yes. I'm fine." She ran her hands down her pants, "I just..."
He held his hand up, "Stop." He straddled the bench, "Just so you know, I never once doubted your ability to do this, Kim. It was never that."
Kim chuckled, "Okay.."
"You're good police. You're smart, you're quick on your feet." He intertwined his hands together, "You're solid.."
Kim cut him off, "I'm sensing a but.."
Al smirked, "But..you've got a heart of gold. You see the best in everyone. You want to save the world." He rested his hand on her knee, "but not everyone is worth saving, kid. Not everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. This job? It's ugly and it's brutal, it can break the best of us. I never want that to happen to you. I know you think I've been riding your ass, that I question your ability. It's not that, I don't want this job to break you. I don't want it to ruin you. You're too good."
His admission brought a small smile to her face, "I thought you hated me, that you didn't think I deserved to be upstairs." She looked at her hands, "I thought it was because of Ruzek."
"Nope. I look at you and I see my girls. I know I shouldn't, but I do." He shrugged, "Ruzek. He's got nothing to do with this. Whatever happened between you two..is just that between you two. I worry about you...just talk to someone. Okay? Be it me or Erin, but don't let this job eat you up inside. It will if you let it."
After that conversation her relationship with Olinsky had shifted and it had strengthened and she had finally felt welcome in the unit. Then Adam had come back, they had shared a kiss just outside the steps of the district.
It was unexpected but beautiful.
They hadn't spoke of it, which seemed to be par for the course for her and Adam. He had shown up for work the next morning only to be transferred out and placed on patrol.
He took it in stride, but she knew he was crushed. She hated it for him, and it had only muddied the waters. She wasn't sure what to say to him or if he even wanted anything to do with her now.
She was the reason he wasn't in Intelligence anymore, wether directly or indirectly she was the reason.
Though his demotion hadn't lasted long and he was back upstairs the next shift. Now they had been hit with this.
This was awful.
"What've we got?" Voight took the lead, approaching one of the numerous battalion chiefs on scene.
He pulled his helmet off his head and held it against his hip. His face was grimy and heads of sweat dotted his hairline, "A fucking disaster." He exhaled, "A rave. Place was fucking packed, well over the occupancy limit." He kicked at a pebble, "We've got dozens of bodies, place was like a tinder box. Shit pyrotechnics had been used and it went up" he snapped his fingers together to illustrate his point.
Hank glanced at the building, the flames finally under control, "Accidental? Why are we here?"
"Accidental, yes. You're here because it was a death trap. One exit was locked. Heavy duty chains on the door. The other exit was towards the back of the building, we've got bodies piled up. Trampled. It's really sad, these are just kids..."
Voight sighed, "Kids?"
"I'm an old man, they're kids to me. I'd guess most are college age. These kind of raves aren't unusual, they pop up from time to time. Fire Marshall hates them. They advertise on social media, it ends up attracting hundreds of people."
"I'm working, Meredith." Al groaned into the phone. He and his wife were barely on speaking terms, he had no desire to speak to her.
"I know!" Meredith shouted, "it's all over the news, Lexi was going. She had it as her Facebook status, my god our baby is in that building."
Al felt his blood run cold and his heart in his throat. The world was chaotic around him but he felt frozen in place, "W-What?" He stammered when he finally found his voice it was still near on impossible to form a complete sentence.
"She's in that building." Meredith repeated.
Al let the phone fall from his hand, his feet propelled him towards the first firefighter he spotted, "I need to get in that building!" He screamed.
"Woah! Back off buddy, no one gets inside." The fresh faced fireman said as he placed his hands on Al's chest to stop him.
"Get the fuck off me!" Al screamed.
Chief Boden's head whipped around, he knew that voice. He'd played enough poker with the man that he'd recognize it anywhere. He raced over.
"What's going on?" Boden asked, it was clear Olinsky was distraught.
"My girl. She's in there!" He pointed to the building, "I've got to get inside."
Boden hung his head, "Alvin."
"Don't. Don't Alvin me." Olinsky spit, "It's my daughter. She's in there.." he gasped for air, suddenly feeling as if he had an elephant sitting on his chest.
"My men are in there. They'll get her out." He activated his radio and relayed the information to Casey and Severide. "I can't let you inside."
Word had spread fast through the unit and the feeling of dread had settled over all of them, Adam and Kim had been rattled. They had spent sometime with Lexi and both had grown fond of her pretty quickly. Kim had actually picked her to be one of her bridesmaids.
Seeing the look of absolute fear on Al's face had shaken her, she approached him, "Hey..what can I do?" Kim asked, she grabbed his hand and held it in both of her's rubbing her thumb over it.
Al chewed on his cheek, "She's my little girl.."
Kim nodded her head, "I know. She's strong." She told him, knowing full well nothing she said or did would bring him even the slightest bit of comfort. She had to say something though.
"We got her!" Severide called out over the radio, "We've got Olinsky's kid." He had found her huddled under pile of wet clothes in the corner of the building. She had been smart, but Severide feared it wasn't enough. It was rarely the flames that claimed a life it was always the smoke.
It had been an intense night, they had all chased down leads of some sort but it seemed nothing was popping. No one saw anything, no one knew anything. Trying to find who had planned the rave had been impossible, no one would talk.
They had been given little information on Lexi's condition, the last they had heard was she had serious smoke inhalation, and her legs had suffered severe burns. While the wet clothing she had hid under protected her torso, her legs had been left to burn.
She was critical but stable, and in the ICU on a vent.
Her prognosis wasn't horrible but it wasn't good.
It was touch and go.
All they could do was hope for the best, and do their very best to find those responsible.
At last count there had been over thirty fatalities with another dozen and a half in the hospital. Six of them including Lexi were fighting for their life.
Adam placed a cup of coffee on the edge of her desk, the desk that was once his. "I figured you'd want one." He had just returned from his dad's place, he still had yet to find a new apartment since coming back and had been crashing in his childhood bedroom. Which had been strange as hell, what was even stranger was that his bedroom still looked as it did when he was a kid. Right down to the posters still hung on the wall, it was a bit strange that his dad had never changed it.
Kim smiled sadly at him, "Thanks." She appreciated the gesture. "How are you?"
He sighed, "Okay. What about you?" He knew she had been close with Lexi. She had tried to help foster a relationship between both of Al's daughters. Lexi had wanted know part of it and it had put a strain on their friendship. Kim had hated it, and he could see the concern in her eyes.
"Scared." She admitted.
Adam sat on the desk, "She's tough. She's healthy. That's a good thing. She's young and resilient." He touched her forearm tenderly, "plus, she's stubborn like her old man. She is going to pull through."
Kim looked up at him, "I hope so."
Six days.
Al had sat vigil by her bed for six days. He held her right hand as Meredith sat and held her left hand.
The rhythmic whooshing of the ventilator as it did the work of Lexi's lungs the only sound in the room. She had already endured multiple surgeries on her legs, they had cut away the dead tissue and had attempted skin grafts. Only for an infection to set in which resulted in another trip to the operating room where they had to cut away even more tissue. They feared she would lose her right leg, but for the moment it seemed everything had stabilized.
Al hadn't moved from her side since the moment Severide carried her out of the warehouse, he owed Severide a debt of gratitude.
A light knock on the door had startled him, "Come in." He called out, a bit surprised to see Adam and Kim on walk through the door.
He wasn't surprised to see them, but he was surprised to see them together. Kim held a vase of flowers, she set them alongside the others and pulled Meredith into her arms, "I'm so sorry" Kim whispered.
Meredith choked back a sob, "Thank you." She muttered.
There really should be a book of some sort that detailed what one should say at a time like this, words seemed to be useless but yet you felt the need to say something.
Anything.
Nothing ever felt right though.
Adam waited until Kim released her grip on Meredith, before wrapping his arms around her, "Lexi's tough."
"Thanks for stopping by." Al spoke, barely taking his eyes off his daughter, "Any leads?"
Adam nodded, "Yes."
They had finally figured it all out, it had taken just one tip. It was the guilt ridden wife of owner of the building. She had called it in, her husband had rented the warehouse out for ten grand but he had no idea what the building would be used for. He was facing criminal charges, but he had taken a plea deal and rolled on those who had organized the rave.
"They're all locked up." Adam leaned against the counter and watched the numbers fluctuate on the heart monitor, "How is she?"
Al ran his hand over his head, "Stable. For now anyway."
"Her right leg?" Kim asked.
"Right now, it's doing ok. They're keeping a close eye on it." Al informed them. He and Meredith both had already told the doctors to do what needed to be done. If that meant she lost her leg, then so be it.
As long as she lived.
The door was pushed open, Adam nearly fell over, "Michelle..hey." He smiled at the teenager. She had all but vanished all together just after his break up with Kim. He had never questioned why, he had enough of his own drama to deal with that he didn't ask.
"Hi, Adam." She placed the bag of food on the small table in the corner of the room, "Long time no see, huh?"
Adam smirked, "Yeah.." what blew him away even more was when Michelle wrapped her arm around Meredith's shoulder. He may not have asked many questions back then but he knew Meredith and Lexi didn't roll out the welcome mat when she had arrived in their lives.
Obviously something had changed.
Meredith brought her hand to cover Michelle's, "Thanks for grabbing some food."
"You bet." Michelle responded. "Any updates?"
Al curled his lip, "Nothing."
They sat with them for a bit longer, only heading out as the sun dipped below the horizon. It had been a long few days and they were both exhausted both mentally and physically.
"I can walk to my car alone, you know." Kim teased as Adam insisted on walking her to her car.
"I'm well aware of that." He smirked, "it's dark out. What kind of man would I be if I didn't escort you?"
She rolled her eyes at the comment, "She is going to be okay. I know it. I feel it here." She pointed to her heart, "I think Al and Meredith will be too." It hadn't been lost on her, she had seen the looks of love the two exchanged as they sat vigil beside their daughter. It was clear in Al's words and in his body language. It had given her hope, if they could find their way back to each other after all that had transpired between them; perhaps she and Adam could do the same.
Adam stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, "I hope so." He rocked on his heels, "Listen, that night I came back...I'm sorry."
"For?" Kim leaned against her car.
Adam looked skyward, "Kissing you."
"Oh.."
Adam closed the distance between them a bit, "I got carried away..."
Kim felt her heart flutter, "Don't be sorry, Adam. It was nice. I really missed you." She reached for his shirt and tugged on it a bit, "Adam, I messed up. Badly. I ruined us. When you left for that case, I was heartbroken. I felt like you were running from me."
"It wasn't like that...it was stupid." Adam interjected.
"Let me finish." She moved her hand to his chest, "I was played, Adam. He played me. I don't know why..or why I made it so easy for him. It was wrong. I hurt you" she wiped a tear that had slipped from her eye away, "I know I don't deserve your forgiveness but I want it. I want to make it right between us. I miss you. I miss us." She couldn't help herself, as her hand slipped up his chest, coming to rest on his cheek.
Adam leaned into her hand just a bit, allowing his eyes to close as he relished the feeling of her soft skin against his stubbled cheek, "I never stopped loving you..that's why I ran. It was stupid" he rested a hand on her hip, "I panicked. Working alongside you every day scared me. I love you. That scared me. Despite it all, I still loved you. I didn't want you to see that..I was afraid of you seeing it." He rambled a bit, she always had that effect on him.
That had hurt her. It was hard to face facts. It had taken a serious dose of self reflection to realize just how badly she had trashed her life and Adam's. She had allowed someone to get in her head, someone who only had his best interest at heart. She should have talked to Adam about her insecurities but instead she talked to him, and in turn she had played right into his hands.
That hurt.
"I'm sorry, Adam. I'm so sorry." Her voice wobbled, "I broke your heart and my own.."
Her tears would always be his kryptonite, "Darlin', don't cry." He held her face in his hands, "Please don't cry. I fucked up too, I should've fought for you...I should never have let you walk out of the locker room that night. I should have fought for you and us."
Kim stood on her tiptoes, looping her arms around his neck, "Is it too late?"
"To fight for us?" Adam asked, "No." he lowered his head and kissed her softly, his hands moving to her neck, "We are worth fighting for." He mumbled against her lips, reluctantly he pulled back. "What we had? It was amazing, Kim. I want it back. I need it back. I need you."
"Let's do it then, Adam. Let's fight for us. Life is too short." She pulled him against her, "I love you too, I never stopped."
Adam felt his lips curve into a smile, "Darlin', you've got no idea how happy this makes me. It's not gonna be easy..."
Kim smiled, "Nothing worth having is easy, Adam. You're worth it. I'm sorry.."
Adam silenced her with a kiss, as he pulled back gasping for air, "Stop. It's in the past. We start fresh. Okay?"
Kim wiped a trace of lipstick off his mouth with her thumb, "We have to talk about it. If we want to work, we need to lay it all out in the open. As painful as it will be we need to do it."
Adam tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "Okay." He stole a quick kiss, he was finding it impossible to keep his hands and lips off of her. She was his addiction and he had gone so long without kissing her, without feeling her beneath him. "I should go." Though that was the last thing he wanted to do, he never wanted to let her out of his sight again.
"Where will you go? You gave up your place." She asked, her arms now tightly wrapped around his waist. They hadn't spoken much since his return and then the fire happened and that left little room for conversation.
"I'm crashing with my pops," he leaned in for another kiss, "god I've missed you.." he mumbled as he kissed a path along her jawline, "I should go.." he repeated, as if he was trying to convince himself.
Kim pulled back, "Come home with me."
Adam smirked, "As amazing of an offer that is...I don't think it's wise. We need to take this slow..we need to do it right."
Kim knew he was right, but she hated the thought of him not being close, "Come home with me. You can crash on the couch..I just don't want to let you go. We've been apart for too long. Adam, please come home with me."
Adam leaned his forehead against her's, "I will."