Disclaimer: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood because if I did Maes Huges NEVER would have died and I would have probably tried to find a way to have all my favorite couples in there like Huges x Mustang and Edward x Alphonse!

Summary: This story is about Roy Mustang trying to get cope with his feelings for his best friend, the only person he ever opened his heart up to before even though Maes Huges is already married and has a daughter whom which Roy is the Godfather of. It will eventually be Maes x Roy but before that happens a lot of stuff goes on in between; such as Huges wondering why Roy has been off lately, Bradley abusing his Führer power, suicidal tendencies from Roy, and Edward trying to understand what the hell is going on between them all.

/

So sweet and luscious, those soft lips pressed against his. He let out a small gasp as the other's stumble rubbed against his slender cheek, allowing the swift tongue passage into his moist cavern. Eyes tightly closed, he enjoyed the warmth which radiated off these strong arms gently wrapped around his waist. Secure, so safe and loved the one receiving the kiss felt; feelings that rarely ever surface when it came to him.

His arms found themselves winding around the other's tender neck and latching to one another behind his slick black hair. He practically whined when that wonderfully sweet mouth left. Slowly opening his deep onyx eyes, he smiled up at the graceful figure of his crush.

"I love you, Royal." Oh, what a simple sentence he had basically whispered out.

Roy's heart melted, trying so hard to believe those words from the one person that he would give his life for. He could already feel the prickling pain of salt water gathering up in his eyes.

"I…I do too, so much do I love you, Maes…I always have." That was Roy's whispered response.

Huges' smiled his usual happy smile and shifted, a glare going across his glasses to where Roy could no longer see his beautiful hazel eyes. A slight smile still lingered upon Roy's lips when the arms that were wrapped around him so gently soon had nails digging into his hips. Wincing in sudden pain, Roy gripped Huges' shoulders and arched his body away from the sharp nails scratching into his flesh.

"Neh…M-Maes…please stop…th-that hurts," Roy muttered out through clenched teeth. Shifting himself, he tried to look at Huges' face to see what was wrong and Roy's breath was caught by seeing crimson eyes behind those black-rimmed glasses.

Before Roy could even think about doing anything, his wrists were swiftly held together above his head as he was slammed back against the bed. Roy gasped loudly and stared up at his best friend in horror; he could already feel the bruises forming upon his wrists while Huges' normal gentle voice came out rough and dripping in venom.

"You think I really meant it," he spat out inches from Roy's face; those blood-colored eyes glaring into the depths of his soul. "I knew you liked me in that way, you filthy queer. You can womanize all you want, I see your lustful stares, Royal. Tell me, why would I kiss and say that I loved you if not a joke? I have a wife whom could pleasure me more than you ever could and a darling daughter. You wish to ruin that for me, my so-called friend? I'm not gay and I never will be, so give me up or do the whole world a favor and just kill yourself, you fucking bastard."

Roy's eyes were wide in fear and shock, his entire body shaking. Allowing the words to finally sink in, he didn't bother trying to hold back the tears or even turn his face away. Roy stared up at Huges, not able to think of anything to say to the love of his life that had just crushed his very spirit.

Huges' sneered as he got off of Roy, walking over to my dresser opposite of the bed. Roy slowly sat up, propping up on his elbows in a curious manner. Roy forced his body back against the headboard of the bed, terrified, when Huges turned around with Roy's gun shinnying in his large hand.

He grinned at the natural reaction, walking over as he pointed the gun towards Roy's scared face. Sweat began to drip down his pale face; Roy couldn't stop shaking even if he wanted to anymore.

"W-Wait…what are you doing?" Roy had weakly asked, almost afraid of the answer.

Huges' chuckled darkly as he cocked the trigger back; it still directly aimed at Roy's face. "I thought you were smart, but I guess I thought wrong about that, too. You're a coward, Roy, a damn stubborn coward. You will always have those disgusting feelings for me, but you'll never be able to take your own life because you're weak. So…I will end your life for you, right here and now."

Opening his mouth to say something, anything, Roy gaped when...BANG!

/

Screaming until his throat was raw Roy's hands gripped at his face, sheets twisting wildly around his thrashing body. Taking in large gulps of air he slowly realized that he was alive, that it wasn't real, none of it was real. Panting, he threw off his damp covers before practically tearing off his sweat-drenched pajamas. Looking down at his scarred body that was now bathed in moonlight, Roy sighed heavily, a hand coming up and rubbing over his pale face.

For the last week now he had been having that same dream over and over. It starts out with being a dream come true and then turning into something ugly where, usually, he ended up dead or basically suicidal. He felt so guilty. His feelings for Huges would never go away, for years he had been trying to get over it and move on, but…he just couldn't.

Ever since their friendship started in the military academy when Roy was fourteen, he had these strange feelings and urges whenever he was around Huges. It started when he found out more about Huges, about how his father walked out so that Huges had to be the man of the house for his mother and his little sister.

Hell, Roy had even allowed Huges to sneak into his past. Huges had found out that Roy's parents were murdered in front of him, that the orphanage he was sent to was beyond abusive, and how when he ran away and lived on the streets for awhile his only friend was a golden retriever puppy.

Roy slowly stood up, forcing his tried body across his bedroom and to his bathroom. Once there he flicked on the light, leaning against the door for a moment for his eyes to adjust. With a soft sigh, he went over to the sink and gripped its sides while he stared himself down in the mirror.

"...You're so pathetic, Mustang," he muttered to his battered reflection.

Ever since his school days he knew he never had a chance to be with Huges other than being a friend. One of the first things Roy ever heard Huges say was, "My goal in life, my dream, is to meet a beautiful woman whom I will treat like a princess and have a daughter, so that I can be a wonderful, perfect father, unlike my own." Roy saw Huges slipping away even when he didn't even have him. Looking back, it was only a matter of time before Roy began breaking from the inside out.