Summary: Set following After Hours. Chase and Thirteen have a talk. Disclaimer: Do not own.
"I can't talk to you. You wouldn't understand." Chase watched her as she walked away. "Wait, lets get coffee" The drive was uncomfortably silent and thirteen realized that they were heading in the direction of Chase's apartment. Chase never took his eyes off the road.
They walked in the small sparsely furnished place while Chase put together the coffee she sat on the couch.
"I killed a patient," He said while handing her a cup.
"Patients die all the time, it's a part of the job it doesn't mean you killed them." She didn't understand. He sat down next to her and looked down.
He decided to elaborate. "I killed a patient consciously and deliberately." She didn't say anything so he continued. "Dibala was an African dictator who ruled by hate, fear, and mass murder. I purposely switched his blood test with a 70-year-old woman from the morgue. He got the wrong medicine and died."
Thirteen looked at Chase not with sympathy or distain but with understanding. "Would you do it again?" She asked. "If I had to I wouldn't change a thing."
"My father didn't understand he blamed me. Refused to help me at the trial." Chase reached out and held her hand. "He always thought that new studies would end in a cure. He didn't understand my promise to my brother the pain he was in."
Chase's home phone started to ring. It was a loud and consistent tone. He let it go to voice mail. It was just Forman. "Hey Chase pick up! We are going to the strip club tonight. Are you in? We will meet you there." Chase thought he already sounded drunk.
"If you leave now you can meet them there." Chase moved a bit closer and put a friendly hand around her shoulder. "There is no where else I'd rather be but here besides, it's not my scene anymore." He looked at her and waited for her to continue.
"My brother was in pain and it was only going to get worse. There is no cure." Thirteen was shaking at this point. I had to euphonize him… He asked me too… He wanted the pain to stop." Thirteen was crying at the moment. Chase moved closer and she rested her head on his strong shoulder. They sat in a supportive silence for a while.
"Primum non nocere" Chase said softly. "Do no harm," Thirteen repeated.
"Sometime when all else fails then we have to prevent harm from coming in the most humane way possible." "You did what you had to and you had to. What was asked of you to do," Chase said.
After a pregnant pause Thirteen stated, "Dibala cost you your marriage". "Cameron and I had problems before that." Chase muttered.
"You haven't been in a relationship since… You haven't forgiven yourself have you?" Thirteen observed.
"I went to confession after it happened, raised Catholic." He looked away, "it didn't seem to help. I couldn't forgive myself," he added.
"So you sought comfort in the arms of other women," She said.
"They were only distractions, to hide the guilt."
"You know you saved a lot of people Robert you gave them a chance at liberty. With Dibala's youngest son in charge they have a opportunity for peace."
"Well Dr. Remy Hadley you know now that your brother is with your Mother and can rest in peace tonight without pain."
The pair fell asleep in the comfort of each other's arms that night. They came to the realization that although there is no cure for guilt there can be acceptance and friendship. They didn't have to be alone any longer.
~ ~ When your conscience says law is immoral, don't follow it. Dr. Jack Kevorkian ~ ~