Sky: Well, since I'm obviously having problems writing the next chapter of Ducklings, I thought I might as well put out a little one shot. Even my retarded brain can't screw that up too badly...This one is about House proposing to Cuddy after they've been dating for a while. Those of you expecting a romantic fluff fest should turn back now. Oh, and the way this reads is like some of my other stories. House starts the conversation. Then Cuddy speaks and they alternate. House, Cuddy, House, Cuddy, House. Like that.
House: Yeah, this is more humorous fic. Because Sky's ability to write humor is rivaled only by her god awful update speed.
Sky: ...
House: Sky?
Sky:...thank you for that...left handed compliment. Kick me when I'm down why don't cha?
House: OKAY! But first, Sky does not own House, or any of its related characters. Thank God. If she did this might be an actual episode!
Politically Incorrect
"Oh C-U-D-D-L-E-S!"
"Ack...House, you are way to happy to be here...go...crush someone's soul...elsewhere..."
"Aw, Cuddy's hung-over. Haven't you ever heard the ancient proverb: "wine after liquor, never been sicker?"
"Thank you, House. You are an excellent person to have around the day after a drinking binge."
"Stating the obvious."
"House, why are you here? Can't you be an idiot elsewhere?"
"Of course not. If I was an idiot elsewhere, I couldn't annoy you. Which would kind of defeat the purpose."
"And what's the purpose?"
"To make you a preposition, Cuddles, my dear."
"Do I want to hear this?"
"I dunno, let's see. You see, Lisa, I've been thinking..."
"Oh dear god, the world is gonna end! Greg House thinking!"
"Ha ha...very funny. And I've decided that you make me happy." She raised a brow. "Alright, less miserable. And let's face it, the sex is great. So, I think we should get married."
" That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You think we should get married!? WHY!?"
"...I thought I just told you why..."
"You gave me reasons you want to marry me. Why should I want to marry you? You're an ass!"
"Yes, but I'm a sexy ass with nice abs. Plus, who's gonna help you with your hangovers if not me? Or put up with your bitchy personality and generally unappealing intellect?"
"And what makes my intellect unbecoming, dare I ask?"
"The fact that it exists. Most men like stupid women. You may be hot Cuddles, but it's certainly ebbed by the fact that you've got a brain."
"House, intelligent woman all over the world have managed to find great husbands who are not you."
"Such as..."
"How about...uh...Hillary Clinton?"
"You've reaffirmed my point."
"Bill's a great guy that loves her!"
"Exactly. He likes strong women. Like me! We want partners in crime, not servants! Yes, we are a rare breed Cuddles. So, either you can marry me or wait for Clinton to make you an offer."
"Is this what you consider being romantic?"
"I don't do romantic, Cuddles."
"So, why should I go for it?"
He batted his eyes. "Because Bill just doesn't love you enough to make the commitment."
"Very funny."
"Because you don't want to die alone?"
"...are you serious?"
"Because I have a tape of you drunkenly asking me for sex that I'll show the entire hospital if you don't say yes?"
"Wha...how...I don't believe you."
"Cuddy, I don't do dishonestly where black mail is involved. So either marry me, or live down being the hospitals first Porn Queen Dean."
"Fine. I'll marry you. But I'm not happy about it."
"Aw, that's just cause you're hung over. Just wait till you tell this story to Cameron at lunch."
Cuddy paled at the thought. "Actually I think this should be a secret engagement."
"Fine. But Cuddy..."
"Yes, House?"
"You never got to hear the last reason you should marry me..."
"And what would that be?"
"Well, because I love you of course. Why else would I marry you?"
"House...I love you too. And House."
"Yes, my little Lillary?"
"I expect a copy of that tape on my desk in the morning."
Sky: Hehehe...I'm back, baby! Throwin' myself back into the fan fictiony groove with a vengeance.
House: Wha...this story makes me out to be a complete cad!
Sky: I write only the truth, House, my friend. Only the truth. And in case anyone is wondering about the "Lillary" thing, it's not a typo. I just combined the names Lisa and Hillary. Because otherwise naming this story "Politically Incorrect" would be silly.
House: You are really reaching for a way to explain your crappy titles.
Sky: Perhaps. Anyway, review if you found this even the slightest bit funny. Offer suggestive hints perhaps. If you do, I might just update.
House: The day Sky updates is the day I eat my shoe.
Sky: Yeah. So if you want to see House eat his shoe, review!