FF Funnies
by chloroplastic
(written in a script type way. easiest i know how ahaha)
hyphens tell whats going on.
parentheses in speech mean the character is thinking the words in the parentheses.
Part 1:The Chaotic Mall Trip
-Auron walks into the noisy classroom with his katana, as usual. Today, was field trip day and he wasn't in the mood for anybody's crap. The room got quiet as he approached the desk and glared at the wall in the back of the room.-
Mog: Time the pledge of allegience, stand up, kupo.
-everybody stands up, some groaning and complaining-
Zell: I pledge allegience to the band...
Mog: No, no no! Not THAT pledge!
Zell: I knew that hehe.
All: We pledge allegience to our country and to the world. We promise to protect, serve, and provide.
Mog: Good...now...Auron would like to say something as your substitute teacher AND chaperone for today's field trip.
Auron: ...I will not tolerate childish behavior...ZELL.
Zell: ..the hell!?
Auron: Nor will I endure the headache of your non-stop, annoying questions all day. Is that clear?
Quistis: Does that go for everyone or just him?...
Auron: All of you! Now...before we go, there's something I MUST show you.
All: ?
-auron looks down, then he looks up in glee as he begins to speak-
Auron: Yyyyyyou put your foot in, you put your foot out, you put your foot in, and stomp on oglops. you do the hokey pokey and turn yourself into a demonic final boss and thats what its all about. YEAH!
-crickets chirp-
Auron: ...let's go get on the bus...
-all of the final fantasy characters board the buses and head out to their destination. A.k.a. the Mall. on the way there, Yuna sits next to Aerith and Yuffie-
Yuna: Hey, what was with Auron dancing and singing earlier?
Aerith: Don't ask me.
Yuffie: Yeah, I had no idea he could be so cheerful.
-Cloud throws a broken crayon hitting Yuffie in the head-
Yuffie: WHO just hit me with THIS!?
Cloud: Your momma.
Yuffie: Shut up, Cloud, I should've known it was you!
Cloud: Maybe it was, maybe it was your mom.
Yuffie: Grrr...!
-Zell sees that Seifer's seat is empty, so he takes it knowing it would piss Seifer off. And wouldn't you know it, Seifer was boarding the bus headed in that general direction-
Seifer: Ay! Who said you could sit in MY seat!?
Zell: I don't your name on it.
-Seifer points to the back of the seat in front of Zell. Bright red ink read "Property of Seifer"-
Zell: Doesn't that mean you own the seat in front of me?...
Seifer: WHAT?!
Zell: Hehehehehe!
-seifer snarls-
Seifer: Why, you smart ass son of a-
Mog: Language, Mr. Almasy!
Seifer: ...(( idiot, moogle, mind your own business...)) Yes, Mog.
Zell: hehe.
-while everybody kept chattering away, Seifer took a different seat, muttering about how he's going to get revenge on Zell. At the end of the bus ride, Auron stood up and was dying to just let them get lost in the Mall-
Auron: Now, remember. We're on this field trip as a way to get your all out of my hair for a few hours...or days...forever.
Mog: Auron!
Auron: What? Anyways, let's go to the mall.
-everybody rushes to get off of the bus and picks their group to go with. Yuna, Aerith, and Yuffie travel together while Cloud, Squall, and Tidus go in a different direction. Zell went alone, not caring about the group pairing and headed straight for the food court. Selphie, who hadn't said hardly two words, got off the bus with Rinoa and walked with her casually talking. Auron on the other hand caught sight of damsel he just couldn't take his eyes off of-
Auron: Sweet Mother of God...!
Paine: Uhh hi? Can you tell me if you've seen somebody that looks like this? -holds up a picture of her and Rikku making faces-
Auron: Your eyes...
Paine: Excuse me?
Auron: Your red eyes!
Paine: Uhhh...?
Auron: From which level of Heaven did you fall!? -kneels and takes her hand-
Paine: ((Wow, I'm officially freaked out now...))
Auron: I bet it was...the HIGHEST of levels. Because you are one gorgeous angel.
-paine starts blushing but tries to look away from Auron to hide the fact that she was-
Auron: What is your name, red-eyed angel from the highest of heaven?
Paine: ...Paine.
Auron: Paine. Oh! Wow. ((What kind of woman would name their daughter "Paine"?)) I am Auron. The legendary of most legendary guardians that ever wassssss! -pumps fist into the air-
Paine: ...uh-huh.
Auron: Your eyes! -caresses Paine, freaking her out more-
Paine: ?
Auron: Your eyes are like radishes in the sun. Your hair is like ashes after i burn a pile of wood. Your skin is like a ghost...but a sexy ghost.
Paine: Okay, get off of me or I WILL hurt you!
Auron: Aw, come on, red-eyed angel! -grabs her hand as she walks away. Paine swiftly turns around spraying Auron in the face with pepper spray-
Auron: AHHHHHHHHHHH! ghduighapguiehsgvSHga
-shes walks off and enters the mall thinking he'll lose her for good-
Auron: Oh, she don't know it...but THAT'S wifey right there!
end of part 1