He had to keep telling himself that it would get better, despite that fact that heart wasn't in it, and he didn't really believe that to be true. How do you get over being left behind and betrayed by the Captain you had trusted and cared for so deeply? How do you break free of your new reputation of being a traitor squad? How do get the others to trust you again? How are you supposed to handle being in the Captain's place?
He had no idea. Sure, Squads Five and Nine were in the same boat, and five was even worse off, considering they didn't even have a lieutenant to take the Captain's duties. But Hisagi was a capable leader, and could handle being Captain for a while. The Third Seat of Squad Five, Tetsabi, would do well enough- she was okay. She was made to be a leader, and had always wanted to prove herself. This was her chance, as horrible as a chance it was. He figured some part of her was relieved.
Izuru wasn't. His Squad didn't respect him when Gin was still around, and they liked him even less lately. He tried, really, but he couldn't connect well enough with his subordinates to lead them properly. His depression, self-loathing, and anxiety only made things worse- he knew that his subordinates knew that he didn't believe in himself. They saw that as a weakness, and more than once his third, fourth, an fifth seats had tried to undermine his direct orders, and go against them because they thought they could.
He closed his eyes and rested his head on the desk that used to be Gin's, and breathed deeply. His lieutenant's badge dug painfully into his arm, but he ignored it, somewhat successfully. His blond hair fell over his shoulders, hanging in the space between his body and the desk.
The war had ended three days ago. The paperwork was overwhelming, and the letters he had to write to his subordinate's families concerning their deaths or critical injures only brought him down even further. It was painful, and he really didn't want to do it. Still, after one more deep breath, he lifted his head and dipped his pen into the inkbottle for what had to be the thousandth time that hour. He pressed the pen to the paper and began the same introduction that was written on every letter he wrote, the kanji characters forming seemingly of their own accord, now. It was something to be said; that he wrote so many letters of apology and regret to broken families that he didn't even have to think about what he was writing and he knew it was right.
He was halfway through the ending of the thirty-ninth letter he had written that day when there was a knock on the door. Figuring it was one of the lower seats with new paperwork from another division, he sighed, finished the sentence, then called softly, "Come in," just as he put down the pen. The door opened, and someone he didn't recognize walked into the room. His wavy blond hair caught the sunlight that streamed in through the window, highlighting the light brown strands that were really well hidden. Purple eyes stared into Izuru's own light blue ones, and the stranger fingered the wavy cuffs on his wrists that matched the frills on his shirt, which was covered by a black jacket. He stopped just in front of the desk, a respectable distance away.
"You are Kira Izuru-fukutaicho, then?" the man questioned.
Izuru blinked at him, then replied, "Yes, I am. May I help you?"
The stranger grinned slightly. "I suppose so. It has been over a century since I last stepped foot here, after all, and I suppose some things have changed." He blinked, and bowed his head slightly, like one would when acknowledging one of equal status. "I am Otoribashi Rose, and in one week, I will be reinstated and the Captain of Squad Three."
Relieved couldn't quite cover the intense emotion that Izuru was feeling right then when he heard that. Finally, he would have a break from the paperwork, and the stress. He showed none of this however, and simply stood, and bowed. "Welcome, then, Otoribashi-taicho. May I ask what you mean by 'reinstated'?" he inquired, righting.
Rose's eyes grew distant. "I don't suppose that you recall the Vizard that were present at the final battle?" he asked instead. When Izuru nodded, so did Rose, and he continued. "I am one of the Vizard, Kira-fukutaicho. About a century ago, we were exiled because of our Hollow powers, but we were recently pardoned, and four of us have regained our former positions as Captains and one Lieutenant."
Kira wracked his brain for any idea of which lieutenant was being replaced, but came up short. Rose was very perceptive, apparently, because he noticed Kira's inner struggle, and informed him, "Squad Nine is going to have two lieutenants, because Mashiro is a child and cannot stay away from Kensei for too long without throwing a fit."
While that explained the extra lieutenant, it was of little help, since he had no idea who those people were. It didn't matter, really, because he knew he would meet them someday. If they were drinkers, he'd meet them tomorrow night when he went out with his friends. If they weren't, he'd meet them in a week. No problem.
However, all he said was, "I see. Would you mind telling them that I said welcome? Or, rather, welcome back?" he added, thinking that it would be a reinstatement for them, too. Rose nodded, a hint of a smile peaking at the corners of his mouth.
"Of course," he replied smoothly. "I'll tell them now, since I was just leaving- lots of work to do, you know? I just had to greet you and introduce myself beforehand. Kensei, Mashiro, and Shinji plan on just showing up and saying, 'I'm your new Captain, get out of my office.'" Izuru raised his eyebrows. Rose elaborated, "They're kind of jerks that way." Rose nodded, as if sealing that sentence, and turned. "I'll see you later, Kira-fukutaicho, and I look forward to working with you."
Then he was gone.
Wanted to try writing Kira. How did I do?
