I Don't own.

Happy New Year.

**Closest thing I've ever come to writing smut...

Lingering touches, feather light strokes, the moonlight streaking through the curtains and touching their entwined bodies, making their skin glow as if radiant both men's breathing deep, mixing in the air, making the air around them become heated.

It was so different, from what was their usual at least.

it was always fast - and as soon as it was over one would leave, leaving the other lying naked and ashamed of what they had did.

With my best friend They would always think Wouldn't be doing this with Derek would I?

It was unhealthy - for both of them. Sex and go, Friends with benefits, Sex buddies, whatever you wanted to call it, Sex was Sex and that's what was happening and absolutely nothing else.

Absolutely nothing else.

That's how it was, and even when the other boy left and he was left staring at the ceiling with a mess of sheets tangled around his legs and his jeans were just around here somewhere he would stare at the ceiling and think What the hell have I gotten myself into?

They both wanted it, more than just the usual quicky, more then the consealed feelings and despreate moans.

But that was there relationship, Lust, Sex, Desire, want. That's all it was, and both boys were to afraid to change it.

Until, of course, Julian's got a role in the new blockbuster hit.

"What?" Logan almost screeched at the dark haired man, his voice an octave higher.

"I said I'm leaving in 3 days, for 11 months" Julian said, clearing his throat "I got a part in a new movie called 'What Happened That Night' it's a horror, I think it'll be a hit" Julian said, rambling a bit at the end. He turned to look in the mirror, trying to hide the fact he didn't want to have to stare at the shocked expression on the blond boys face.

"Yeah I got that, but why the hell didn't you tell me?" Logan yelled, standing up from his previous spot on the bed, his finger nails biting into the flesh on his palm with his knuckles turning white.

Julian snorted, pretending the fix his perfectly fine hair in the mirror, pushing his hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ear, reminding himself to have his mother book his stylist to get it cut. "Why would you care?" he said bitterly "Gonna miss your little whore?" Julian shot back at him, turning back to Logan with his arms crossed over his chest.

Logan paled slightly and was oddly quiet; setting Julian back a few notches considering Logan was usually quick on his feet when it came to insults. Julian eyed him for a moment before turning and staring out the window placed in the left corner of the dorm; everything looked to pretty for such a tense conversation.

"I-I just thought that you would have told me" Logan said quietly, causing Julian to stop mid-sentence in his mental ranting. Logan never stuttered, or spoke quietly for another matter. Julian mentally scowled his internal weakness, he was just a whore to this guy remember?

"Yeah, well you were wrong, I got to go start packing, bye Logan" Julian said, growling a little at the end, preparing to stalk out of the room and never look back (Or at least not until tonight when he was in bed and replying the betrayed look on Logan's face over and over to remind himself that this is what he was leaving behind).

Julian was pulled back suddenly and for a moment – airborne. He lands with a small thud onto the bed to see Logan standing over him, his eyes dark and surprisenly – watery.

Julian can't remember the last time he saw Logan cry, but it certainly wasn't like this. All those times he saw him cry, they were angry tears and over and quickly as they had begun.

But this, this was the real thing. Julian instandly felt guiletly.

"Lo you don't need to-"

"You think I don't care?" Logan spat out, tears beginning to streak down his lightly tanned cheekbones.

"Lo you need to take your pills your gonn-"

"Don't tell me what to do!" Logan yelled, his body shaking violently, after a moment he fell to his knees.

"Logan!" Julian jumped forward and wrapped his arms around the blond hair man, the guilt in his chest growing to the point where it hurt, I mean, it wasn't suppose to happen like this! There was suppose to be yelling and insults and hurt and confused feelings and maybe some anger sex thrown in there but not this.

Logan's body stopped shaking as badly after a few minutes, just enough for him to whisper

"You're not my whore"

Julian resisted the urge to pull back from holding Logan to demand what was going on with him today, but he let Logan (Well mostly himself) have this simple moment.

Once Logan had stopped his crying he looked up to Julian with red rimmed eyes "I don't want you to leave Jules" He looked down and corrected himself "You can't leave"

Logan looked back up to Julian and Julian saw his guard falling revealing a broken and vernible boy hiding behind it. Julian stared into his eyes for a moment before doing something he'd waited 3 years to do – He kissed him.

Don't get me wrong, there were kisses traded between the boys, most of them being drunken or heat of the moment lip lockers, never a simple kiss that simply radiated emotion and acted as a wool blanket to spread warmth throughout both boys bodies.

It all went uphill – or downhill, it depends on how you think of it- from there. Logan's hands that were resting on Julian's chest clenched his shirt and held onto it for dear life, only letting go to let the dark haired man to slip off his shirt and throw it to the ground, the designer brand falling into a heap in the corner, quickly followed by other articles of clothing.

Hours later they laid on the twin bed, Logan's arms wrapped around Julian, their legs entwined together with the soiled sheets only separating their heated skin.

"You know I, You know I-" Logan said clearing his throat "You know I care about you right?" Logan finally said, brushing a stray piece of hair out of Julian's face "You know, for me at least, this isn't just sex?"

Julian's throat tightened and he struggled to get his next sentence out without showing it "Yeah, me too Logan"

They settled back into their comfortable silence, Julian letting Logan play with his hair, or Julian dragging his fingertips across Logan's chest, tracing invisible patterns over his shoulder.

This is what they were, and at least hopefully, it wasn't changing any time soon.

There. Here it is, my horrible attempt at a Jogan fic. It's horrible, feel free to flame.