Roy Mustang was very happy when he woke up. This was because a certain short, blonde alchemist was returning from a mission and reporting to him that day. He loved it when he saw that alchemist, especially if they were alone, as they would be that day. He always taunted and teased him, mostly about his height. He chose this topic because it was a very sore topic with Edward. Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist.

Roy had long since come to terms with his bi-sexuality, but he hadn't told anyone yet. Everyone knew he liked girls. He was always pushing for miniskirts in the women's uniform. He dated as many girls as he could, and he had definitely not remained a virgin. He made a big deal about it, but not so big a deal that anyone would think he was trying to hide something. He wasn't. He genuinely liked these girls, but he usually didn't date them very long. No one would believe it if they saw the way he looked at Ed.

"Enough of that," Roy grumbled to himself, wondering why he had just summarized his personal life up until this point. He got dressed and headed downstairs, still thinking about Ed. "Now that he's sixteen and legal, I'll have to make my move soon." His thoughts carried on like that, constantly reminding him that Ed's long. Blonde hair would definitely make him popular, and not just among the women. He continued pondering this until his coffee finished brewing and his bread finished toasting. Then he poured his coffee in a mug and munched down his toast before heading off to the military building.

He was surprised at how quiet the building was when he arrived. He caught someone n the hallway and asked about the silence. He said that over half the employees were out with food poisoning. Apparently the staff party last night had some bad fish. Roy, not having much of an appetite for fish hadn't eaten any and so wasn't sick. Everyone in the area around had though, so no one would hear anything going on in his office, and all of Roy's clients after Ed were out sick as well. He mentally rejoiced and hid a grin. Today was the day. He couldn't have planned it better himself.

Roy had been reading Ed's report when he hears someone stomping loudly through the halls. He rolled his eyes and hid a lecherous smile. He knew who that was. He barely had time to stand up and compose himself before a furious Elric kicked open the doors (1) with such force that they slammed shut behind him with a loud bang and a soft click. Ed stomped up to Roy and roared unintelligibly.

Roy maintained his composure. He flicked his eyes up and down Ed's front. (A more thorough examination would come later.) There were tufts of orange and white fur showing up clearly on Ed's black jacket. He had a couple of scratches and smelled of cats. Smirking, Roy arrived at the conclusion that Alphonse, Ed's little brother had picked up a few more strays. Roy couldn't help himself. "Look at what the cat dragged in." Ed's notorious hate of cats would make his job even easier today.

Roy was always trying to get Ed so annoyed he would flush with anger. It entertained Roy to imagine he was blushing, though he knew that wasn't the case. They talked, if it could be called that, for a while about Ed's report for a while, Roy throwing in plenty of height remarks. Roy was in the middle of a comment about how Ed's height did not correspond to the amount of damage the alchemist was able to cause when gloved fist flying at his face cut him off. Dodging to the side, Roy knocked Ed down to his stomach, and then captured his arms against his sides.

Leaning close to Ed's ear, he whispered "Last I checked, trying to harm a superior was a cause for trouble, and I should report you. Feel glad that the person to whom I would normally report you to has an affinity for fish." The colonel's warm, moist breath against Ed's bare flesh made Ed stiffen and start struggling against the heavy person on his back, but any hope of escaping unscathed disappeared when Roy said "I will just have to punish you myself."

Ed, not at all comfortable with this turn of events, wriggled, squirmed, and thrashed until he ended up on his back. This was even worse for Ed (but not for us nor is it bad for Roy). Now mustang was sitting on Ed's crotch. Needless to say, Roy was not objecting to this new position.

Ed was slowly realizing his mistake in turning over, even though he didn't know of Roy's bi-sexy orientation. Even he thought Mustang was straight! He did, however, figure that should anyone come in, this was not how he wanted to be found. As a submissive uke. Ed flailed his arms around and wiggled his hips, the places he was being held down. His arms managed to escape, only to be recaptured farther off, making Roy have to lean in closer to keep them down. Ed's other motion had been even less effective, only causing Roy to want to stay longer. It had created friction for them both. Ed got redder, as he had already been flushed by anger.

"What do you want?" Ed yelled at Roy, who started to respond, but was cut off by the sound of footsteps clanking up the hall. Roy looked at the door, then glanced back at Ed. 'The lock won't hold long enough for anything to happen, and should they break in, this would not be the most desirable place to be. He reluctantly stood up, and helped Ed to stand as well. If Ed had noticed the hesitation in Roy's movement, he said nothing. Ed's little brother knocked on the door. They both knew it was Alphonse Elric because of his steps. Al's steps were the only ones that clanked, as he was a suit of armor. (2)

"We will continue this conversation later," Roy whispered to Ed, annoyed at having him taken out of his grasp. Then in a much louder and calmer voice he called out, "Come in." The doors rattled but did not open. "It's locked!" Ed took that as his excuse and hurried over to the door. He unlocked and let Al in, then said "I'm going back to our room, Al." Ed glanced back at Roy with a confused look on his face, he fled from the room. Ed stopped running when he reached the Elric's dorm room door. He stiffened as he started to turn the door handle. Something was wrong. His eye twitched. He heard it again. A meow. It wasn't really a fear of cats, but an intense hatred of them and a fear of what a certain suit of armor would do to him should he carry out his feelings on these cats. It often involved a hammer and a box of chocolates. He backed away from the door and ran off down the hallway. (3)

Ed leaned against a wall a few hallways down, and then slumped into a sitting position. Why had he been so weak earlier against Roy? Why hadn't he put up more of a fight? He drew his knees up to his chest and rested his forehead against them. Deciding he didn't like his thoughts, he jumped up, stumbled a bit, and ran out of the apartment complex and to a park about a mile off. He was considerably out of breath by the time he got there. Ed laid down on one of the wooden benches and looked up at the stars. They were strangely distant, a fact not helped by the cloud of breath forming between him and them. He rolled over onto his side and yawned. The run must have tired him out more than he realized. His eyes were drifting shut. As the cloud formed from his yawn started to fade, he though he saw someone silhouetted against the street lamps coming towards him.

Roy grinned to himself as he lifted his long-haired prize in his arms. "I guess we'll finish that conversation sooner than I thought," he whispered softly to the gently snoring Ed. Lucky, he thought, that he had taken to walking home from work, and that he often walked through this park. They reached the colonel's house and somehow got inside with out waking Ed. (Ignore any obvious loophole there, Ed's a deep sleeper.)

Roy quickly dropped off Ed in the guest bedroom across from his and headed back downstairs. (He knew that bad things would happen should the blonde wake up in the same bed as Roy, and NOT in the fun way.) Roy picked up the phone, intending to call Al and let him know his brother had been found. But as a yawn escaped his lips, he decided the morning would be a better time. He hung up his coat and glanced at the sofa longingly before trudging up the stairs again. As he walked past the guest room, he couldn't keep himself from looking in. Ed's face was gently lit by the moonlight filtering in from the window. It made Ed's hair seem to glow. His lips were gently parted and looked so soft. "He's beautiful!" Roy breathed. Even the glistening trail of drool that soaked the pillow added to his beauty in Roy's mind. Roy walked over and sat down on the bed next to him, gazing in awe. No longer able to contain himself, he leaned over and pressed his dry lips to Ed's moist ones. Ed's eyes fluttered, but did not open. The long, drawn out kiss ended as Roy stood up and padded out of Ed's room and into his own. He collapsed fully dressed onto his bed and fell quickly to sleep. Neither of them would ever know it, but Ed was smiling in his sleep that night.

's:

(1) Double doors. Don't know if he had 'em before, but he does now.

(2) Read manga for details

(3) I never was very sure about this, but I think Ed and his brother are being given a room in a sort of hotel/apartment owned by the military.

(4)