Well hey, I am mortified that it took me this long to get this out. But I've been SWAMPED lately! I will apologize but I really couldn't have gotten this out sooner if any of you expected it to be any good. This is the first of *hopefully* many oneshots set in the AU of In Search of Faith. The oneshots will not be in chronological order but will be written according to the order in which I come up with them. :) The songs used are Godspeed by the Dixie Chicks and River by Sarah McLachlan. In the Kate section, some words will be spelled wrong and there will be some grammar mistakes, that's because Kate is 4 and doesn't know any better. I do not own the songs, or any of the characters (aside from the children *except Beth* and periodic OCs) enjoy!
-December 14th 2016-
-Rachel-
"shhh." My voice comes out a little worn out and broken, as I softly rock the tiny infant in my arms. "Momma's here." I soothe him as he whimpers and tries to adjust his lovely honey brown eyes to the light. He has a tiny tuft of dark brown hair and his cheeks are a deep pink, as well as his nose and fingers. He stares up at me, curiously, yawns and nestles against my chest.
Finn has been silent for a good twenty minutes. Lying next to me on the hospital bed, his legs dangling off the side because he could barely squeeze in next to me but I insisted.
"Finn?" I whisper as our baby's eyes gently close.
"Yeah babe?" He chokes out. It is then that I realize he's been crying. Not a lot, but it's just like when we saw Katie's ultrasound for the first time. He was just overwhelmed by his emotions.
"What do you think of, Aiden Christopher?" The name just felt right on my tongue. We had already agreed on Christopher being the middle name, after Finn's late father. But none of the names we'd stumbled upon seemed right.
"That's perfect." He murmurs into my hair, while his hand carefully sweeps over Aiden's cheek, his fingers looking enormous next to the infant's tiny face.
Now my voice came out steady, quiet and even delicate as I sang the first lullaby to our son.
Dragon tales and the "water is wide"
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly
Fish bite moonbeams every night
And I love you
Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams
The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, will find the mouse
And I love you
Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Sweet dreams
God bless mommy and match box cars
God bless dad and thanks for the stars
God hears "Amen," wherever we are
And I love you
Godspeed, little man
Sweet dreams, little man
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels wings
Godspeed
Godspeed
Godspeed
Sweet dreams
-Finn-
I could never get tired of this. I'm sure Rachel could, childbirth doesn't look like a walk in the park, and the way she was shouting "Why did you do this to me again?" had me terrified to ever suggest sex again. But this, listening to my beautiful wife sing my son to sleep, this was something I could definitely get used to.
She still sings Katie to sleep, and I always stand outside Katie's bedroom door and listen, sometimes I'll slip in and add my own vocals but usually that keeps Katie awake and asking for more and then Rachel gets annoyed because when Princess Kate doesn't get her sleep she turns into a hellion.
This moment is just so peaceful, the only sound is Rachel's voice.
Until I can hear the quick scuffle of tinkerbell slippers coming down the hall.
Katie's tiny form bounds through the doorway and she leaps onto the bed and lands on my chest. "Daddy!" she whisper-screams.
Kurt follows behind, slightly out of breath. "I warned her to be quiet." He says, looking sternly at Kate, who is now trying squeeze between Rachel and I on the bed.
She notices Aiden in Rachel's arms her her nose wrinkles up. "Who. Is that?"
"That's your new baby brother." I explain.
"He's all tiny and wrinkly, like Riley's guinea pig."
"He's not a guinea pig, sweetie, his name is Aiden and we're going to bring him home. He's part of our family now." Rachel tells her softly.
"But, our family is me, you, daddy, grammy Carole, grampa Burt, pop pop, grampy Lee, uncle Kurt, uncle Puckasaurus, aunt Quinnie, aunt Tany, aunt Brit, uncle Sam, uncle Blaine, Gracie, Gabe, and Beth. There's no room for," she wrinkles up her nose again, "Aiden."
"We'll make room, he's very special to us now, just like you, Katie. We love him, just like we love you." I tell her, kissing her cheek.
"So I have to share you now? You won't love me as much if you have to love him too!" Her voice cracks a little as she stares at Aiden with tears welling up in her eyes.
"Oh, baby, we still love you just as much as we always have. Trust us, having a baby brother will be fun. You can teach him all kinds of big sister things." Rachel tries to comfort her, she looks like she wants to pull Katie into her arms but with the baby, she can't and Katie notices.
"Come here." I say and she crawls up against my chest, sniffling.
"Nothing can ever make your mommy and me love you less okay?" she nods slowly and wraps her skinny arms around my neck.
"Fine, but one brother is enough okay? I don't want any more." She says.
Rachel chuckles, "We'll see what we can do."
-Kate-
My whole family showed up real fast.
They all keep making weird faces at the dumb baby and tellin mommy and daddy how 'preshus' he is. I don't know what preshus means, but I guess it's a good thing because Mommy smiles everytime someone says it and Daddy makes the same face he made at my last dance recital when my structor told him I was speshal.
Beth is even paying attention to the dumb baby, she didn't even see my new slippers!
"Puckasaurus!" I tug on Uncle Puck's pants until he looks down at me.
"Hey doll." He kneels down in front of me and flips some of my hair out of my eyes. "How's it feel to be a big sister?"
I just shrug, cuz I don't wanna tell him that I hate it.
"He's really cute isn't he?"
"I guess, but I'm still your favorite hudson right?" I smile my biggest smile. The one that looks just like mommy's.
"Now, miss Kate that's not fair. You're not the only mini-hudson anymore, you have to share the spotlight now."
My can feel my smile go away. I just nod. Cuz I don't wanna cry in this room full of people that love the dumb baby more than me.
Now my throats getting all dry and itchy. Cuz I always get thirsty when I'm sad.
Mommy usually gets me a drink of water.
"Mommy, can I go get a drink of the fountain?" I try to stand on my tippy toes to get her attention.
"Mommy?" I ask again. But mommy's talkin to Grammy Carole about goin to Lima for christmas.
"Daddy?" I try to get daddy to answer me, but he's talkin to Uncle Blaine about Uncle Blaine and Uncle Kurt's surgut mommy. I guess the surgut is gonna have babies for them cuz Uncle Kurt can't. Daddy says it's complicated and I won't understand til I'm big.
I sigh and decide that I can go get the water all by myself. Cuz I'm a big sis'r now and big sis'rs can get water on their own.
The fountain is at the end of this big long hallway I think.
As long as I member where mommy's hopstal room is, I won't get lost.
Without Uncle Kurt, the hallway looks really big.
And all the hallways look the same. There's a lot of people in white coats running around, talking about weird things that I don't know what they mean.
In this one hallway there's a lot of crying babies like my brother. It's really loud, and it makes my throat even itchier.
Where's the fountain?
Around one corner I can see it. It's at the end. I run to end, I almost fall cuz this hallway doesn't have a carpet and my slippers are slippery.
But when I get to the fountain I see that I'm not big enough to reach it.
My throat gets really, really dry and my tummy feels empty. I have to take really big breaths and it hurts.
Mommy calls it a panic attack, but I only get them when I'm scared. Like when I saw that lion at the zoo and it got really close to the big fence. Or when I had the scary dream about monster in my closet and Daddy was gone on his tour and couldn't check for me. Or when Mommy and Daddy got into the really big fight and Daddy was sleeping at uncle Puck's for a long time. I had lots of panic attacks then.
I know I have to go back to mommy's room. But my head is going really fast and I can't member where to go.
I have to stop the panic attack or I might be lost forever.
If I'm lost forever I won't be able to teach Aiden little brother stuff. I go back down the hallway and go round a bunch of corners until I get really tired and sit down by the wall.
I close my eyes and hug myself and sing.
-Kurt-
"WHERE IS SHE!" Rachel shouts after handing Aiden to Carole. "WHO WAS WATCHING HER! DID ANYONE SEE HER LEAVE? WHERE COULD SHE BE? THIS HOSPITAL IS HUGE! SHE COULD HAVE BEEN KIDNAPPED! SHE COULD BE ANYWHERE! OH GOD! FINN!" She's out of the hospital bed and pulling on a housecoat.
"God we weren't paying attention, everyone was so distracted by the baby and there were so many people in here. We know how she gets when there's a lot of people in a small space. We know she has anxiety issues. Why'd we let so many people in here?" Finn rants.
"Calm down. We just need to alert the hospital staff and look around. We all know her, she wouldn't have gone too far." I try to reason with them. Rachel stares blankly at me for a second before bursting into tears.
"My little girl is lost in this enormous hospital, she's probably so scared. Oh! What is she had another panic attack! Oh Finn we need to find her!"
"Ma'am, I'm sorry, is everything okay?" A doctor slips into the room and calmly addresses Rachel's ramblings.
"NO! NOTHING IS OKAY! My daughter is missing! She's four years old, she's got long curly brown hair and brown eyes. She's wearing white and pink polka dotted pajamas and tinkerbell slippers."
"Okay, okay, I'll let the staff know and we'll have security looking for her, okay? Stay calm and I'm sure we'll find her." The doctor nods at Finn and leaves the room.
"We need to look for her, I don't trust him." Rachel whispers, as if the doctor was eavesdropping.
"Okay, let's go. Who was the last person to see her?"
Puck speaks up, "She talked to me a couple minutes before we noticed she was gone. She seemed pretty upset about all the attention the baby was getting, I thought she was gonna cry." He was about to get his coat and head back to his place when we noticed Kate's absence. He was going to see if she wanted to go home with him and have a playdate with Beth while Rachel and Finn get Aiden settled in at home. Quinn and Beth had already left because Beth got really tired and cranky.
"Cry. She probably went to look for a water fountain or something." Rachel deduces.
"She does that too?" Hiram questions.
"Yeah, whenever she would get upset I'd get her glass of water. Now, when she's upset she'll complain that her throat is dry and itchy and she'll be thirsty. So she always asks for water." Rachel explains.
"Okay, we saw a fountain on our way to the room, let's start there." I announce and Finn, Rachel, Puck and I leave the room in search of Kate. Burt, Rachel's fathers and Carole head for the front desk to alert the staff themselves and ask if anyone's seen the little girl.
-Rachel-
This is all my fault. I should have kept her right by me. She was probably feeling left out and alone. She needs that attention, just like I do. God, I forget how alike we are.
Suddenly I can feel my ear twitch. "Shh!" I hush everyone. They all stare at me quizzically.
"I wish I had a river, I could skate away on."
Everyone sprints toward the sound of Kate's voice.
We round a corner and there she is. Sitting on the floor with her back against the wall and her knees pulled up to her chest. Singing to calm herself. I can her shoulders shaking slightly and I know she's had an attack. She's so smart. She knew she needed to calm down before she could get back.
I clasp my hand over my mouth to stifle a sob of relief to see that she's okay.
"Baby?" Finn calls out.
Her little head jerks up and turns in our direction. "Daddy! Mommy!"
Finn hurries over to her and picks her up, cradling her in his arms. He carries her back over to us, where I'm frozen in place.
"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." I whisper to her.
"I'll call your mother, so they know she's okay." Kurt says to Finn.
"Are you okay miss Kate?" Noah tucks a curl behind her ear.
Katie nods and yawns, leaning her head lazily against Finn's shoulder.
"I don't know what I would have done if we didn't find you." I kiss her forehead and look guiltily up at Finn.
"She's okay, she's smart, she would never walk off with someone she didn't know. She's got your pipes so we'd have heard her is she was hurt or in danger. She was just thirsty." He laughs a little in spite of the situation.
"I was scared I wouldn't get to teach Aiden any big sis'r stuff." She says tiredly.
"You have all the time in the world to teach Aiden big sister stuff. Just, don't ever wander away from us again okay? You really scared us."
"You even scared me." Noah adds.
"But you and Daddy aren't scared of nothing."
"We love you Princess, we're scared of losing you."
"You won't ever lose me, Daddy. I promise." She says, then her heavy eyes flutter closed and she's out for the night.
"Thanks for helping Noah, go home to your family." I hug him and he bumps Finn's fist before making his way toward the front door.
"Maybe we should have tracking devices implanted in them." Finn suggests.
I give a small smile and take his free hand. "Let's go see if we can get your mother to reliquish our son, huh? I wanna go home."
I was actually starting to feel the symptoms that Kate was when I was writing that. I guess that's easy to do when you know what a panic attack feels like. It's got to be terrifying for a four year old though. But I feel like it's believable for Rachel's child to have anxiety issues. And if any of you find it hard to believe that loving, caring parents could possibly not notice this. Think again, this kind of thing happens more often than you think. The stress of labor, the overwhelming attention from family, all the excitement of a new baby, it could cause you to forget your own name. Also, Katie was only missing for a couple minutes. Just long enough for her to wander down a few hallways, get tired, sit down and sing a verse of a song. :) anyway, I hope you liked it. Keep in mind that these will not be in order. :)
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Love you all :D
sincerely, your returning author.