The Untitled

Summary: They were married to strangers, their lives meaningless. They had lost themselves. But sometimes you have to look into the face of another to find yourself. (SXS)

Disclaimer: CCS belongs to the ladies of CLAMP. And I'm afraid they won't relinquish their ownership soon, or ever, for that matter. ;

Note

The ones that seem the most familiar are often the ones we know the least.

Syaoran

I am a leader.

I was trained in the martial arts, my talent honed to perfection. I was trained to conceal my emotions beneath a mask. I was trained to be a gentleman. I was trained to uphold the honor and integrity of my Clan. I was trained to do whatever my elders ordered me to do without question. I was told my personal happiness and liberty do not matter in the face of such unquestionable authority, for I am merely a tool.

I was taught all of this before I could fall into the throes of the outside world. For me, life was an endless repetition of routine and duty. Duty to my clan, duty to the Elders, and duty to everything the name "Li" implied--prestige, power, and perfection.

I knew the cold feeling of an empty stomach, and I knew the numbing touch of steel on my neck. And once, for a brief period of time, I had an idea of what lay outside of my gate of austere experiences; once, I had touched what lay beyond my Spartan life. Yet it had been taken away from me. My real, true identity had been robbed and had been replaced by the remote, obedient Li Xiao Lang, future leader of the Li Clan.

Who am I?

"Master Xiao Lang!"

"Yes, Wei?"

"Your dinner is ready, sir."

"Fine. Please inform Ping that I will be there in just a second."

"Yes sir. As you wish, Master."

Dinner was always served at six, yet Wei came to knock on my study door every day five minutes before dinner was served.

Time was the most meaningful thing in my life. It strictly regulated everything I did. I followed my internal clock the way I would a leash. Adherence to a schedule had been beaten into me since day one of my training.

I tugged off my reading glasses and sighed, rubbing my eyes with balled fists. Then I strode out of my study and down the stairs, my every movement controlled and precise.

"Good Evening, Ping."

"Good Evening, Xiao Lang."

"How was your day?"

"It was fine. And yours?"

"Everything was fine."

Ping and I smiled mechanically at each other. Every day it was like this; every day our conversation was that of two complete and utter strangers. She was the perfect lady, and I was the perfect gentleman.

"Mashed potatoes, sir?"

"Yes, please."

"Would you like some, Madame?"

"Yes, please."

Wei strolled from one end of the long, wooden table to the other. It was a long walk, but he was used to it. I felt sorry for the manservant sometimes. He had to do this every day; it must have been the most tedious job for him to walk constantly from end to end of the table, carrying heavy serving plates.

For a few moments, all that could be heard was the clink and clatter of forks and knives. I kept my eyes to my plate, fastidiously cutting the chicken and eating quietly. At the other end of the long table, I saw Ping doing the same.

"Would you like some more chicken, Master Xiao Lang?"

"No, thank you. I think I'll go up to the study now. I still have some work to finish up. Good night, Ping."

"Good night, Xiao Lang."

As the official heir to the Li Clan, I was handed with the job of managing the company. As the CEO and member of the Board, I worked every day from 7:00 to 5:00. It was a long working day, but as the future leader, I was expected to do no less. My father had managed the company well, and he had been even more of a slave to the Clan Elders than I was. I was expected to fill those vacant shoes and propel the company to even higher heights, a job that I took on with absolutely no enthusiasm.

My marriage to Ping was completely a marriage of convenience. She was the daughter of Hu Quan, one of China's wealthiest businessmen. The Li Elders had hoped to carve out a niche in Ping's fortune and make it part of the Clan's, yet thus far, they had been unsuccessful. Hu Quan was a slippery fellow who was unwilling to part with any amount of his daughter's fortune, which was, unfortunately for the Elders, in his possession.

I slipped on my reading glasses and worked for another hour, never pausing to stretch or take a breath.

At ten o'clock I stood, stretched, and went to the bathroom for a cold shower.

At ten fifteen I resumed work and continued for another forty-five minutes, stopping at eleven. It was time to go to sleep.

I pulled off my clothes and folded them neatly on my chair for the laundry maid, then jumped into my king-sized bed.

It was quiet. Much too quiet. Ping was silent and presumably asleep in her bedroom down the hall. I stared up at my canopy.

I knew there was more to life than this.

The coffee shop's window was unerringly bright, even in all the rain and gloom.

I shook the rainwater from my bangs and pulled off my hood, blinking as the water trickled down into my eyes.

"Morning, lil Wolf!" a bright and cheery girl chirped from behind the counter.

"Hey, MeiMei," I said, smiling at her.

"Will it be the usual?" she asked me, her grin stretching avenues wide.

"Of course," I replied, and sat down in my usual spot by the counter.

MeiMei and Mrs. Chen were the only two people in my life who seemed to be alive and made of flesh and blood. They were the most vivacious couple I had ever met, with their tweaking of my cheeks and their eternally sparkling eyes. I came here every morning, desiring not only the food but also the warm, home-like atmosphere of the store.

"Coming your way, Li!!!!!!" MeiMei came charging at me, bearing a large Styrofoam cup filled to the brim with scalding black coffee.

I watched as everything happened in slow motion. MeiMei's foot slid on a puddle and she went flying forward towards me.

The impact was sudden and harsh.

The cup turned down, and the black coffee tipped over, spilling all over my white polo shirt. Since it was scalding, my neck and the top part of my chest became burned and red.

MeiMei stared, horrified at what she had done. Her eyes began to shine more brightly than usual. Her chin quivered. The coffee cup hung loosely from her fingers as she stared at her handiwork.

"Oh, my dear..." Mrs. Chen came charging out of the back room and came up to me, fussing. She grabbed a bunch of tissues and started to mop up the coffee while tears spilled from MeiMei's eyes.

Just then the phone rang. Mrs. Chen continued fussing over me and did not notice.

"Mrs. Chen, the phone is ringing," I said, pointing towards it.

She continued wiping my shirt and did not answer.

"Mrs. Chen! Please go answer it! I can do this myself!" My voice raised an octave.

The authoritative tone of my voice galvanized her to action. Calling, "I'm so sorry, Xiao Lang!" she was gone to answer the telephone.

I sighed, staring down at the pools of black coffee that had accumulated on my pants. The burning feeling on my neck was intensifying.

MeiMei took one look at my neck and fled, bawling all the way. She had taken refuge in the back room before I could call her back.

"Great," I grumbled, dabbing at my shirt. MeiMei was lovely, but she could also be a major klutz.

That's when a soft voice broke into my thoughts.

"Here."

It took several moments for the voice to register.

That single syllable was...beautiful, although the person who had spoken had an awkward Cantonese accent. It was also jolting. It was a hook, and I immediately bit it. I wanted--no, needed to see the face of the woman who had uttered it.

My eyes eagerly drank up her face.

She was plain, although her features were delicate and smooth. Her emerald eyes stood out on her thin face. A slight dusting of pale pink graced her cheeks. Soft, amber-colored bangs cascaded gently into her eyes. Her hair fell to her chin. But next to the many obsequious, beautiful women I had known, she would never be considered beautiful, or even pretty. Yet because she was plain, she had a fresh allure that was all her own.

Then I stared at her hand. She was holding a handkerchief.

"This will be more effective than a napkin," her voice rolled softly into my ear. What her face and lacked in, her voice more than made up for.

"Thank you," I said. Good. My voice was calm and did not betray the burning pain I felt on my neck.

I carefully plucked the handkerchief from her hands.

She watched me as I wiped my shirt, gathering up the liquid with the once-spotless handkerchief while feeling extremely self-conscious.

"I'm sorry..." my voice trailed off uncertainly as I held out her handkerchief again. By now it was a sodden, brown, miserable lump.

I looked up when she did not take it.

Her eyebrows were slightly arched. "It's too soggy," she said calmly. "What made you think I'd want it back?"

It sounded like an insult, but I did not rise to the bait. Being the perfect gentleman that I was, I merely said, "Never mind, then. Thank you for helping me."

I got up to leave, but her call held me back.

"Wait!"

I half turned.

"Yes?"

She pointed at my neck. "You need some cream. It'll really start to hurt if you don't take care of it."

"No need. Thank you for your concern," I replied stiffly. I really needed to get to work; there were only fifteen minutes left to arrive at the company on time.

"What's more important, your work or your health?" she said with a slight edge of anger to her voice.

Before I could open my mouth, she had grabbed my arm and pulled me out the door. "Come on, you," she said, marching forward determinedly as the raindrops pattered on her head. "Let's go buy something for your neck." We were walking down the street before I could utter a protest or an exclamation of annoyance.

Before I lost sight of the window, though, I caught a glimpse of Mrs. Chen's incredulous face. She was still talking on the phone, and her eyes bespoke shock as the woman dragged me away from the store.

"Hmmm...I think I'll buy this," Sakura Mikayo said as she pulled something from the shelf.

Sakura Mikayo. It was an unusual name, to be sure, but I rather liked it. It had a friendly ring to my ears.

I cleared my throat.

"Yes?" Her green eyes flashed at me.

"Thank you, Ms. Mikayo, but I really--"

She wagged her head repeatedly. A dangerous glint was now in her eyes.

"First, call me Sakura. Second, stop protesting! I know what I'm doing, and that's more than what you can say." She rapped my head with her knuckles.

Startled, I shook my head and sighed, jogging after her to keep up as she made her way to the cashier.

She pushed me down onto a bench.

"Now...this is a nice place, isn't it?"

We were sheltered from the rain by a cluster of branches overhead. The blurry outline of the streetlamp was visible on a pavement slick with rain. A glimpse of the cloudy, morning sky was visible through the verdant foliage.

I raised an eyebrow.

She noticed my slight facial movement and rolled her eyes. "Come on, it's the one place in the park that isn't open to the public eye! You wouldn't want to be seen, would you?"

She had a point there.

Sakura had refused, point-blank, to even let me touch the cream. She insisted that she herself apply it, since she was a nurse and "was used to soothing burns and other injuries." If it weren't for the fact that my neck was burning almost unbearably, I would never have agreed to it.

"Now...arch your neck..." I did as I was told, reining in my pride.

Sakura dipped her fingers into the cream and began to rub it methodically onto my neck. The pain began to spread. I gritted my teeth. It was humiliating, what she was doing. I felt as if I was being strangled.

I jerked away from her and stood up, bumping my head into the branches. Droplets of icy cold water doused the both of us in the face.

"Hey! What's wrong?" she asked, standing up as I began to walk away.

"Thank you very much, but I must go now. I'm already late for work," I said coldly, and I swept away.

My pathway was blocked by a furious woman.

Sakura's face was close to my own as she practically yelled, "Listen, I'm trying to help you here! Do you want to do damage to yourself? Because if I don't treat those burns, then you're going to have to go to the hospital, and it'll be much worse there!!"

Instead of answering, I stared up at the sky.

She took that for consent, so she dragged me back to the bench.

This time I managed to endure her hard-handed massage without twitching or grumbling. I snapped my eyes shut and tried to ignore the feeling that I was being strangled.

"There...all done..." Sakura announced brightly.

My eyelids flapped open.

She was staring at me, her gaze unreadable as she scrutinized me with a peculiar look on her face. When I returned her stare with a level gaze, she quickly looked away.

The burning feeling was abating. I breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you," I said, shaking her hand. It felt cool. I was surprised to discover it was calloused.

"That's quite all right. I had to help you; that burn looked absolutely awful," she remarked, her eyes on my neck.

I felt slightly uncomfortable. I hesitated before saying, "My name is Syaoran Li." My tongue tripped slightly over the foreign sound my Japanese name had to it.

"Li...Sounds familiar. You're one of the Li Clan, aren't you?"

My face stiffened. "Yes, I am one of the Li Clan."

Sakura seemed to notice the shift in my expression. "I'm sorry for prying," she said quickly, apologizing.

"No...It's ok...I really have to get to work now," I said abruptly, effectively ending our conversation.

I stood, and she did as well. I nodded mechanically to her and turned away, inadvertently sweeping the hem of my coat over her pant leg.

"Hey..." she called.

I stopped.

"Listen...if you ever...need any medical help...call me, ok?"

She came walking up to me, scribbling furiously on a slip of paper. "Here's my cell phone number."

She offered it to me.

I stared down at the slip of paper.

I had plenty of doctors and nurses at my beck and call. They were all elite. Yet...somehow, Sakura felt more personalized. She was the perfect nurse, I realized, because kindness and love were written all over her face. She had stopped to help me, a complete stranger. And besides, I realized with a startled shock, she was probably late for work too, all because of her kindness towards me.

My hand closed over the paper. "Thank you."

I turned and walked away.

It was time to get back to my daily schedule. The clock was ticking and could no longer be ignored.

Questions? Comments? Rants? Flames? Just click the purple lavender-blue button down near the bottom left corner...

By the way, just thought I'd say that Sakura is slightly OOC in this one. Since, in this story, she's a twenty-eight year old woman, she's no longer so happy and kawaii all the time. She's older, more experienced, and wiser. Yet she still has her impulsive tendencies (you can tell from the incident in Chapter 1) and she's also quite silly sometimes. So, for you lovers of "kawaii!!!", don't worry. There will be brief bouts of time when Sakura acts childish.