An: I am working on LAYG. I'm just sort of stuck in a decision based on the characters itself. Its not that I haven't lost interest or anything. I'm just not happy with my writing and haven't been for a while so its been a long process of writing and deleting. So I just put the story on hiatus till I can come up with something I like. I will be dual writing LAYG with this so yeah. Another thing is that for the past few months my charger has been broken and that also a main reason why I haven't been able to update. This is a Jori but the actual Jori will start a bit later.
Warning: This contains mentions of physical abuse.
Disclaimer: I really wish I owned something but I don't. Victorious rights go out to its owners and the Song rights go out the the respective artist.
Songs I used this chapter (Recommend to listen to before or after you read): My Heart – Paramore, Misery Business – Paramore
Jade's P.O.V.
A strong gust of wind blows against my face as I continue to walk down the street. Thunder booms in the sky while the rain continues to soak me to the bone. I walk quicker hoping my back pack and everything contained in it doesn't get soaked. I walk down the neighborhood hoping that Beck is awake. I look down at my watch.
"11:13, he should be awake." I mutter under my breath. I walk through the white picket fence and speed up to the porch under some cover. I press the door bell then begin to rub my hands together.
"Come on, come on, come in." I say watching as my breath becomes fog in the air. I turn away from the door and listen to the rain pound harshly on the ground when the light flickers on. I hear the door creak open.
"Jade?" Beck says tiredly. I turn around and look at him slightly wildly. His hair is all over the place and his eyes are slightly red as if he was about to go to sleep. He looks at with wide eyes the ushers me inside and he leaves to the bathroom. My teeth stop chattering when I enter the warmth of his house. I stand near the door not wanting to drip water all over the house knowing his mother might have a fit in the morning. Beck comes back with a towel and hands it to me. I take off my backpack looking at the damage, relieved when nothing is soaked due to the garbage bag I put around it before I left. He grabs my backpack then looks at me.
"Again?" he whispers. I look down at my shoes and only nod. I hear a sigh come from him.
"You can take a shower and sleep in the guest room." He says softly. I watch as he heads up stairs. He stops at the final step and shakes his head. He runs a hand through his hair then continues walking. I take off my shoes then socks and walk to the bathroom. I turn on the shower and begin to strip. I let the hot water run for a bit while I assess the damage. I look down at my legs, glad that the huge bruise on my thigh got smaller. I look down on my stomach seeing no bruises there. I turn and look at my back in the mirror. There's a skinny red mark on my back starting in the middle of my shoulder blades going all the way down to the my lower back. Turning back around I look at my arms. There is a bruise shaped as a hand on the upper part of my left biceps and and nasty looking bruise around a gash I have on my right forearm. I sigh and turn to the shower. I watch the water pour down into the drain for a little while longer before getting in. I let the water pour down my body for a bit not wanting to move. I close my eyes letting quick flashes of earlier play in my mind.
"DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULDNT NOTICE." Ashley Shouts before picking up the glass of vodka that she was drinking up. I want to tell her im sorry but I don't say anything for the fear of making it worse. Her hands are shaking and vodka is beginning to spill from the glass. I glance at the cup before fully looking at her.
"ANSWER ME YOUNG LADY. DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULDNT NOTICE THAT YOU WENT INTO MY STUDY. I WORK THERE ALMOST EVERYDAY. SO DID YOU HONESTLY THINK I WOULDNT NOTICE WHEN YOU WENT THROUGH MY THINGS." She Shouts again. Before I can answer she lifts the cup up. I move my hands to guard my face in time as the cup smashes into my right arm. I yelp at the contact and feel blood begin to trickle down at my arm. I put my arms back at my side.
"No ma'am." I say finally answering her not daring to move or say more. She looks at me and growls.
"Get the fuck out of my face. NOW." She yells at me. I jump slightly and quickly run to my room. I close my door not locking it. I slide down the door and let the tears fall down my face.
I shake my head willing the events of earlier to go away. I grab the body wash and begin washing my body slowly and carefully. I groan in pain as I wash over each of my bruises. I rinse my body off then turn the shower off. I open the shower curtain and notice the things on the counter. There's peroxide, bandage raps, underwear, a long sleeve shirt and shorts. Beck must have put them there while I was in the shower. Reminding myself to thank him sooner or later I dry myself off then put the bra, panties, and shorts on. I grab my towel and put some peroxide it, slowly cleaning the cut. I hiss at the pain of touching the bruised cut. Determining its clean enough I rap the gash in the bandages then throw the long sleeve shirt on. I grab the peroxide and the towel and head upstairs. I walk into the guest room. On the bed is my back pack, a note, and Advil. I quickly dry swallow two pills then read the note.
J
I went to bed. Peroxide goes in the drawer to the right of the sink in the kitchen. I'll let mom know you're here in the morning. We need to talk about this sooner or later. We also have band rehearsals tomorrow. G'night
B
I quickly put away the peroxide and head back up stairs. I close the door to the guest room and sigh. I turn of the light before collapsing on the bed. I roll over turn the lamp one then open my bag. I search its contents before finding my 'The Scissoring' notebook and pen. I zip my bag back up and place it on the floor. I flip through the pages before finding a melody I wrote that has no lyrics. I begin writing on the page letting the words flow out. I write each verse knowing exactly what I want to write in verse. I leave a space to write the chorus. Not wanting to make my problems obvious I write the chorus and ending making the song seem like love song. When I finish the song its nearly 2 in the morning. I place the notebook and pen near the lamp and turn the lamp on. I succumb to tiredness and let my eye flutter shut.
"Jade? Jade sweety." I hear along with taps on my door. I groan not wanting to wake up. I hear a light chuckle come from the other side of the door before the creeks open. I crack open my eyes and see Renee's head in the door.
"Yeah mom?" I grumble not wanting to get up. Although Beck and I dated and broke up. Renee still treats me like a daughter even though I crushed her sons heart. When I broke up with Beck it was awkward at first, especially because we hold band practice at his house in the garage. But things quickly fell back into pace as Beck realized I cant help or do anything about my sexuality. His mother understood as well and opened me with her arms wide open and excepted me unlike my father and Ashley.
"Its almost 10. Beck wanted me to wake you up." She says smiling.
"Why didn't he do it?" I grumble again beginning to lose my attitude. She chuckles.
"Because we both know how grumpy you are in the morning. Breakfast is ready as well." She says before closing the door. I open my eyes and groan at how bright outside is compared to last night. I groan again and rub my eyes. I sit up, put a pair socks on, grab my notebook then head down stairs. Reaching the bottom step my nose is greeted with the pleasant smell of pancakes, eggs, and bacon. I quickly make my way to the kitchen and sit the stool near the counter. Beck is leaning against the counter with a plate and cup of coffee next to him. I glare at him before sliding the plate and coffee in front of me. I toss him the notebook and allow him to look through it before I start eating. Renee is washing dishes.
"Thanks mom." I say in between bites. I look at Beck while flipping between pages.
"6th page." I say to him before stuffing my face with some more pancakes. He turns the page and begins reading the lyrics. I finish my pancakes and begin drinking the coffee. He finishes reading the page then looks at me with a raised eyebrow. I scowl at him knowing what he's thinking. Since he knows whats going on, he knows what the lyrics truly mean. I don't say anything but get up and rinse my plate off and put it in the dish washer. Renee smiles at me as she continues to wash dishes.
"Beck told me you got here last night and are staying for a while. How long are you staying sweety?" She asks. I look at beck worriedly. He looks at me then shrugs.
"I don't know. Ashley went to Europe to see dad. I forgot to ask how long she was staying." I lie looking back at Beck. I feel her eyes on me the whole time. She finally turns away and looks at beck then frowns when she sees his face.
"Whats that honey?" She asks about the notebook in his hands.
"Its jades notebook." When he realizes that the notebook has a guy about to stab somebody on the cover. She looks at me and I smirk.
"What? Its my favorite movie." I say. She chuckles then shakes her head. I look back at beck and raise an eyebrow finishing my coffee. He looks back at the notebook. When he realizes im not in the mood to talk about last night he sighs.
"The Boys should be here any moment. Cat and Tori are coming as well." Beck says. I nod and walk with him to the garage. He opens the garage while I begin plugging the speakers in. I tune both Beck and I's guitars then put them on their stands. I hear the familiar hum of Danny's Truck come down the street. Beck and I walk down the drive way and begin unloading the truck. Danny, Ryder, Cat, and Tori all pile out of the truck. I have Danny's base in my hand while Beck begun unloading Ryder's Drum set. I place the base down and immediately im crushed in Cats arms.
"JADEYY." Cat shouts at me. I try not to wince in pain as she wraps her arms around me touching the welt on back. Not showing the pain im in I smile down to here.
"Hey Kitty Cat. I cant breathe you know." I say down to her. She pouts but loosens her grip. I chuckle at her pout and poke her cheek. Beck, Danny, and Ryder finish unloading the drum set and plugging everything in. Cat lets goes of me and hugs Beck then kisses him.
"Hey babe." Beck says. I look over at Ryder and Danny.
"Sup." I say to both of them and they look at me and smile. Ryder nods his head to Tori and is grinning like an idiot. I scowl at him before turning to said Latina.
"Wow Jades actually on time for once." Danny says joining in on Ryder's teasing. I scowl at him too.
"Shut the fuck up." I say playfully before returning my attention back Tori. I'd never say it out loud, or admit it to anyone but I actually really like Tori. Although her perkiness can get on my nerve sometimes, shes part of the reason I found out about my sexuality. I know what you're thinking. How could I bully the girl I like. Well last year I was really confused, and angry for not being to able to understand my feelings. Im already not good with them so I just took it out on Vega. Now well im trying to be nicer to her but just because im nicer doesn't mean I stopped my snarky comments.
"Hi Jade." She says shyly. I give her a small smile the nod at her.
"Hey Vega." I greet back. I hear snickering behind me again. I scowl at the sound, but Tori looks around me and gives them confused looks. Cat walks over to Tori after her short make out session with Beck. They sit on the couch and I walk back over the boys. The Mics are set up, along with the guitars, base, and drums. I look at Beck and he tosses me my Notebook. Everybody looks at me and waits for me to say something.
"So we qualify for battle of the bands. It starts in two weeks. We would have more time to prepare but I didn't get the email till a few days ago." I say which isn't completely a lie. I've had the email from the corporation that's sponsoring battle of the bands for a while. I just haven't been able to check my email because Ashley took my laptop away.
"That being said, I know we songs written already but it wouldn't hurt to have more written if we win or get scouted you know." I say. Danny and Ryder are grinning like maniacs and Beck looks at me.
"Well that shouldn't be a problem because we have the best song writer around." Ryder says cockily tilting his head at my notebook. I don't disagree because I do know how well I can write when I put enough emotion to it.
"Anyway, I was able to right lyrics to that one melody we made a few weeks back." I says tossing my Notebook to Danny. He reads it, grins, then hands it to Ryder.
"Damn West. A love song. Who knew you had a heart?" Ryder says grinning.
"Is the last part a scream?" Danny asks about the harmony.
"I never thought about it but I guess it could be. Lets try it." I grin. He grins back. For being short, Danny's got a pair of lungs on him. I look at Beck and he only nods at me. He picks up the Electric guitar, I pick up an Acoustic and plug it into the speaker. Danny picks up his base and Ryder grabs his sticks before sitting down behind the drum set. I stand in front of the middle mic with Beck on my left, Danny on my right, and Ryder behind us making a diamond shape. I look over to Tori and wink as a sort of dedication to her. Ryder taps his drum sticks together and we begin playing together. The song slows down and its only me playing. I lean forward and begin singing.
I am finding out,
That maybe I was wrong.
That I've fallen down,
And I cant do this alone.
Stay with me,
This is what I need please.
Ryder Fills in with the Drums and we pick back up the rockish part of the song as the chorus starts. I hear Danny breath in the mic as he harmonizes with me.
Sing us a song,
And we'll sing it back to you.
We can sing our own,
But what would it be without you. oh.
The song slows down again and I start the second verse. I look over to Tori and sing the next verse to her.
I am nothing now,
And its been so long.
Since I've heard a sound,
A sound of my only hope.
I break eye contact with and close my eyes and sing my heart out as I finish the second verse.
This time,
I will be listening.
I sing ending the second verse and Danny picks up the harmonies again as we sing the chorus.
Sing us a song,
And we'll sing it back to you.
(Sing it back to you)
We can sing our own,
But what would it be with out you. Whoa.
I begin strumming final verse of the song closing my eyes. In the back of my mind I let the images of last night play through my head. I let myself see my room again as blood is dripping down my arm. I sing out all of my pain as a sort of release.
This heart, it beats,
Beats for only you.
This Heart, it beats,
Beats for only you. Whoa.
(You.) Danny screams.
This heart, it beats,
Beats for only you.
My heart is yours.
This heart, it beats,
Beats for only you.
My Heart is yours.
(My Heart it beats for you.)
This Heart, it beats.
Beats for only you.
My Heart is yours.
I sing while Danny screams the lyrics.
This heart, it beats,
(Please don't go now.)
Beats for only you.
(Please don't fade away.)
My Heart.
(Please don't go now.)
My Heart yours.
(Please don't fade away.)
I hold the the last note as Danny sang the part normally. He begins screaming the next part.
(Please don't go now. Please don't fade away.)
My Heart is yours.
(Please don't go now. Please don't fade away.)
My Heart is. Yours. Whoa.
(Please don't go. Please don't fade away.)
My Heart is.
(Please don't go now. Please don't fade away.)
We finish as Beck lets his guitar ring out. I open my eyes having forgotten they were closed. I look around and cat is jumping up and down clapping. I glance over at Tori. Shes clapping as well but also has a smile on her face. I place the guitar down and go to the mini fridge. I grab two water and toss them to Ryder and Danny. Then I toss one to Beck and grab two more. I offer one to Tori. She watches me but doesn't take the water. When she doesn't say anything I raise an eyebrow at her. She blushes and quickly take the water. I smirk at her then walk back over to they guys. Danny finishes drinking his water. He breaks out into a wide grin and pats me on that back.
"That was fucking awesome!" Danny shouts. He hits the welt on my back again but I refrain from groaning in pain.
"DANIEL, LANGUAGE." We hear Renee shout from inside. Danny frowns and we bust out laughing.
"SORRY MRS. OLIVER." Danny shouts back making us laugh harder. I glance over to were Tori is to find her laughing as well. Beck clears his throat. We look at him and he nods at us. We all nod in unison. I grab the electric guitar and stand in the place where Beck was standing ready to play lead guitar and sing back up. Beck stands in the middle with his guitar. We play the rest of our original songs for practice. After a while some of the kids in becks neighborhood come out to play with each other. Its too much noise for us to actually practice and be serious so instead of playing original songs we play some covers and mess around a bit by playing different instruments. We continue to play and begin to get a small audience and allow them to suggest covers if we know how to play them. Around 12:30 Renee made lunch. She comes into the garage and listens to us finish our Cover of Misery Business by Paramore. We're on the bridge when I notice her sit down next to Tori.
I watched his wildest dreams come true.
Not one of them Involving you.
Just watch my wildest dream come true.
Not one of the involving...
I sing the Beck breaks out into the guitar solo. Our small crowd goes wild and begins cheering.
Whoa, I never meant to brag,
But I got him where I want him and now.
Whoa, I never meant to brag,
But I got him where I want him and now,
Whoa it was never my intention to brag,
To steal all away from you now.
But god does it feel so good.
Cuz I got him where I wanted and now,
And If could then you know you would.
But god it just feels.
It just feels so good.
Beck and I finish on the final chord together. The small crowd cheers.
"We are entering battle of the bands in two weeks. If you want to hear more of our music come down and vote for us." Danny says into his mic while I drink some water. I swallow my water the speak next.
"Thanks for coming out guys." I say as way to say were finished. The crowd claps one more time before people start walking away.
"I made lunch if you guys are hungry." Renee says. I look at Tori and shes smiling. I'm about to say something to Renee when I hear a loud grumbling. I turn to look at Ryder. He rubs the back of his neck.
"What? I'm really hungry." He says in defense. I bust out laughing and so does everybody in garage. Everyone begins walking inside. I stay and make it look like im doing something with my guitar. My arm is really sore and I think it started bleeding again. I rub my forearm when nobody is looking.
"JADELYN AUGEST WEST, COME EAT." Renee shouts. I hear laughter after she yells at me. I put my guitar down on the stand close the garage door then walk into the kitchen. I misjudge where I was walking because I turn to quickly scrape my forearm against the corner of the counter.
"SON OF A BITCH." I shout at the top of my lungs. If my cut wasn't bleeding now it surely is now. I grip my arm and crouch down. I know everybody is looking at me. Tori is the first person to do anything. She comes to my side and crouches next to my. She holds her hand out expectantly. I look at her realizing she want to look at how bad I hit the counter if I griping my arm like this. I grit my teeth and shake my head. I will the tears to go away.
"I'm fine." I spit out even though I my arm feels like its on fire right now. Tori looks at me skeptically. I stand up and stretch my arm out. I shake it out only making it worse. I force myself to smile at her.
"See im fine. That just hurt pretty bad." I say to her. She frowns but nods anyway. I notice everybody looking at me waiting for an explanation.
"I hit the counter when I came in here. I'm fine. It just hurt like a bitch." I say. Everybody just nods and continues eating except for Beck. He looks at my arm the shakes his head and continues eating.
"Jadelyn, You know better than to use profanity in my house." Renee scolds.
"Sorry Mom." I mumble. I hear snickering come from Ryder and Danny. I scowl at them but before I can make a snarky comeback, Renee beats me to it.
"I have no clue why you two are snickering. I cant even count how many times you two have swore in my household." Renee scolds them both. The both look embarrassed and it makes me laugh. I grab a sandwich from the counter along with a cup of cold coffee only putting sugar in it. I stand across the from Tori and Renee while Tori talks animatedly to Renee about her dreams of being a pop star. I watch her and smile in between bites as her face lights up as she mentions some of the songs she wrote. I feel Renee's eyes on me. I look at her and she gives me a knowing look. I feel my face heat up only slightly and I quickly turn around to rinse off my plate when I feel Tori's eyes start to look at me. I place my plate in the dishwasher, refill my coffee cup then join the conversation again. Beck, Danny, and Ryder get up and place their plates in the sink. Beck, Ryder, and Cat head to the garage but Danny hangs back and draws my attention from the conversation.
"We're gonna go put stuff in the back of my truck and get ready to leave." Danny says. I nod and move to get up to help but he shake his head then nods towards Tori. I scowl at him when he grins. I go back to where they are sitting and listen to the last part of what Tori is saying.
"... Next assignment. I have to write another song and preform it in the upcoming music festival." Tori says then frowns.
"I've seen some of your performances. Your a fantastic writer." Renee says confused to why Tori is frowning.
"Well its just I normally have Andres help when I write a song. But he's been really busy. Especially with his crazy grandmother..." Tori says trailing off. Renee looks at and gives me another knowing smile. I open my mouth to say something but Renee beats me to the punch.
"How about Jade? You can help her right sweety? Your both talented writers." Renee says to Tori. I scowl at Renee before glancing over to Tori who is currently looking at me while playing with her hair. I sigh and run a hand through my hair.
"Yeah I guess I can help you." I say still scowling at Renee. She smiles at me and so is Tori.
"TOOOOORRIIIIIIII. WE ARE LEAVINGGG." Cat shouts from the garage in a sing-song voice. She gets up and moves to grab her plate. I snatch it from across the counter before she can grab it. I quickly place it in the sink and then walk with her to the garage. I walk her to the car. Beck and Cat are on the other side of the truck having a make out session while Danny and Ryder are in the front seat. Tori stands in front of the door then faces me.
"Thanks for agreeing to help me on my assignment. I'll see you Monday." She says. She quickly kisses me on the cheek opens the door the gets in. At the same time Cat gets in the truck and Danny starts the truck. I step away from the car door watching the black tinted windows. The truck peels away from the curb and quickly makes a u-turn and speeds down the street. I look over to Beck and we head back inside. He doesn't say anything but on look at him let me know he wants to talk about last night. I don't look at him but walk inside only to be stopped in the kitchen by Renee. I groan knowing what she wants to talk about.
"Yes mom?" I say feigning ignorance even though we both know what she wants to talk about.
"How long?" She says with a small smile on her face.
"How long what?" I say still playing ignorant. She walks up to me and pinches my cheek causing me to scowl at the action.
"How long has my baby girl been in love?" She says ignoring my scowl.
"I'm not in love. I just like her. A lot." I say matter-of-factually.
"You know what I mean Jade." She says not letting the subject drop. I don't say anything but look at the ground not being able to tell her that Tori is one of the reasons Beck and I broke up.
"Oh sweety. Is she part of the reason you guys broke up." She says enveloping me in a hug. I nod not moving or motioning to hug her back. Although Beck and I are on great terms and Renee still treats me like her daughter I still sometimes worry that one day I will say or do something and all of this will be ripped away from me. Renee is the mother that's been absent from my whole life. Noticing my lack of response to her hug, Renee starts rubbing my back. Her hand ghosts over the lash on my back. Her rubbing slows down and I fear that she felt it on my back, its then that I hug her back not wanting her to keep rubbing my back. A cough from the right of me causes me to look over to where Beck is now standing.
"Jade I need to talk to you about Battle of the Bands." He says which I know is a load of bullshit. He makes his way to the stairs and begins climbing then. Renee finally lets go and heads over to the sink to finishes rinsing off the dishes from lunch. I turn and trail after beck to find him in the guest room. I walk into the room closing the door behind me. I lean against the wall and raise my eyebrows at him waiting for him to say something. He only looks at me causing me to sigh.
"You wanted to talk about battle of the bands?" I say playing ignorant again. A wide range of emotions flash before anger surfaces.
"You and I both know that's not what I actually wanted to talk about." He says. I only glare at him giving him a silent warning to drop the subject. He sighs then runs a hand his through his hair.
"What happened last night?" He asks quietly. I don't say anything trying to come up with a lie. I open my mouth about to say something when he puts his hand up.
"And don't say nothing or give me some bullshit lie. I saw the way you kept rolling out your arm during practice, and the way you grabbed it after you hit it..." He says trailing off. I don't say anything but look at the ground.
"I'm fine." I whisper out not wanting to talk about last nights events.
"No you're not. But if drop the subject now will you let me see your arm and talk to me when you're ready?" He asks softly. I don't do anything for a while still looking at my shoes. Finally playing out the situation in my head I nod my head and silently walk to him holding out my arm. He grabs my wrist and rolls up my sleeve. I look down to where the bandages are to realize I was right. Between practice and hitting my arm on the counter my arm had begun bleeding causing the blood to seep out into the white bandage staining it. He sighs shaking his head back and forth. He begins unwrapping the bandage and that's when I look away. After the bandages finally come off he tightens his grip in anger. Moments later he gains his composer and lets go of my arm. He throws away the bandage in the garbage can next to my bed then gets up from the bed.
"Come on. I have peroxide and more bandages in my room." He says softly. I only nod in response and follow him across the hall. Beck walks into his room heading to the closet and I move to sit on the bed. He walks over to me with Peroxide, cotton balls, and a new bandage. He dabs a cotton ball then looks at me. I let him take my arm and begin cleaning the cut only hissing when he presses to hard against the bruise. He finishes cleaning the cut the gives me bandage rap. I quickly rap my arm and roll my sleeve back down.
"Want to play Halo or something?" Beck says holding two xbox controllers.
"Sure." I say allowing myself to be distracted for a while. We play Halo 4 for a few hours before Renee calls us down for dinner. We all eat around the dinner table in silence. I'm the first to finish. I clean my plate then go to take a shower. After my shower I grab my notebook, open to a knew page and begin writing. First about nothing but before I know it my writing turns into part of a horror story about a girl who goes crazy and begins killing everyone in her family. I take a break from writing and glance at the clock. Its 1 am so I place my notebook under the lamp, turn it off then role onto my stomach allowing my eyes to close.
AN: Jeez as I said before im dual writing this with LYAG. If you have any questions about LAYG feel free to pm me. It would also help me alot if you guys would comment names for the name of the band Jade is in. Anyway My Heart is from Paramores first album All We Know Is Falling and Misery Business is from Riot! Uhm I dont have internet at my own house right now so I dont know when im going to be able to update again. Shhh Bye -Time