Here we are, my first Fullmetal Alchemist story.

Warning: There is a graphic description in this story that's borderline "M" and might cause images for some people. There's also mention of rape and torture too.

FMA belongs to Arakawa-sensei

"Mommy! Mommy wake up! Mommy!"

The cries of the small child echo in my ears as he clings to the sheet covering the dead body for dear life. His sobs are the only thing that can be heard over the sound of the pouring rain. His clothes are by now soaked, the umbrella his mother had given him tossed carelessly to the side mixed in a solution of rain water and blood beside her body. There are tears running down his cheeks, but they are hard to distinguish from drops dripping from his hair onto his face. The poor kid had been sitting here for half an hour, not moving a muscle as he cried out for his mother to wake up from her sleep.

The knot in my stomach only tightened as I watched him. I wanted to say something, but what could I say? After all, I knew what it was like to be in denial after watching my own mother die…

But that was a long time ago.

I tightened my arms closer to my chest, trying to hug myself warm from the bitter cold that nipped at my skin. I had been standing out here for a good ten minutes now, at a loss of what to do as the MPs gathered what evidence they could about how this woman had been killed. I wanted to watch but at the same time I wanted to run far away from here. The given atmosphere and the fact there had been a homicide in this part of town was starting to take a toll on my stomach. How could someone do something like this? And in broad daylight, nonetheless…

Fifteen minutes ago, I'd been sitting in my superior officer's office. I had wanted to talk to him about something regarding my latest trip only to be told to wait as he made phone call after phone call. At first I didn't know what was really going on, since I knew Roy Mustang could be an ignorant procrastinating bastard. I didn't pay much attention to the conversations. It was only when he yelled into the phone that I realized something was wrong. After some bribing he told me there'd been an escaped prisoner from Central who'd somehow made it into East City. This man was considered to be extremely dangerous, as he'd used alchemy to make his escape. This was all Mustang managed to tell me before the phone rang again. As a result Mustang was forced to come to the scene immediately. I was the only other state alchemist available at the time for backup and so I was ordered to come along, much to my displeasure.

Right now there were no details available at the scene of the crime, but it wasn't hard to assume that this woman had been murdered by that same escaped prisoner Mustang told me about.

A blond-haired woman who'd been working alongside the MPs knelt down the crying boy's side. This was First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, one of Mustang's assistants. She whispered something softly into the boy's ear, which made him cry out louder and clutch the sheet harder. She frowned with slight impatience and picked the boy up. She stood up, intending to carry him to one of the waiting cars so he could be taken away somewhere to be calmed down and questioned. The boy wailed in protest as he was forced away, the sheet being pulled up as a result of his reluctance to leave his mother's side.

And for the first time, I got a good look at the corpse.

Her clothes were wrinkled and blood stained all around the lower part of her body, hinting that she'd been raped. They'd been carelessly thrown on her body, meaning that the murderer had been the one to dress her in his haste. Her hair was mangled and tangled all around her shoulders and draped slightly in front of her face.

As bad as that seems, that wasn't the part that got me.

Her skin… didn't look like normal skin. It was… burned, yet not. Some parts were burned, but in some places it looked like her skin had been torn right off, revealing the muscle and bones underneath. Her right arm and both legs were bent in a direction it should never naturally bend in. Her face had been burned the most, the tight flesh charred to the bone underneath. Her bare eyes were wide, staring at the hell that only she could see, pleading for help. A clear substance I couldn't identify leaked from inside the top of her head down what was left over of her cheek, mixing with the charred blood.

My breath caught in my throat and suddenly I found myself unable to take in the air I so desperately needed. My heart pounding in my chest protested alongside my lungs for the much needed air.

The corpse lying before me…

Edward…

It looked almost like what we made that night.

Edward, darling…

Mom…

Edward, darling… why couldn't you bring me back to life?

I'm sorry, Mom!

Instead, you made me a monster…

Somewhere in the distance I heard a loud scream. My emotions were pooling into my stomach, making it spin and churn like a tornado. As the screaming got louder, the tornado roared, tossing all the emotions around. Guilt, remorse, sadness, pain, anger... The corpse before me became two, then three.

Why couldn't you make Mommy better, Ed?

Mom! Please forgive me! Don't leave me!

My head spun as it attempted to separate my mind from reality. The screaming got louder and louder, making my brain throb as if my heart had suddenly taken its place.

Edward…

My vision went black.

Even though I've only been alive for fifteen years, I know of one thing that was completely certain: human cruelty knew no bounds.

This was the first thought that entered my mind when I managed to force my eyes open. A white plaster ceiling stared back at me. I sat up straight, my head spinning in protest. Beneath me I felt a mattress support my sudden movement. Around me I felt the warmness of a blanket. I was back in the hotel room my brother and I had rented while we were in town.

"Oh you're awake! Thank goodness!"

I turned my head towards the door to see a tall suit of bronze armor duck his way through the frame and into the room. This was my younger brother, Alphonse. His body lost, his soul attached to the suit of armor before me. It's all my fault for doing such a cruel thing to him.

I caught the hint of worry in his voice. "I'm fine, Al." I assured him. "I remember being at the crime scene and then…"

A shock ran through my body as it all came back to me. I clutched the blankets as I remembered. The corpse… Mom…

"You passed out." Al told me. He pulled a chair up next to my bed and sat down. "It's ok, Brother. You can tell me." Even though the helmet of his armor betrayed no emotion I knew what he wanted from me. I could picture an expectant look coming from him.

Alphonse is my one and only little brother. I can talk to him easily about just about anything and not having to worry about him judging me. He was only a year younger than me but he had the wisdom of someone beyond his years. That was one thing being on the road searching for a fantasy does to you. You learn things and experience many things you never would if you lived a life that didn't include adventure. Both of us carried both the good and bad memories of such times.

My mind wandered to my first thought when I woke up.

"I saw the corpse, Al." I explained in a soft voice. "It looked… it looked like how she did on that night."

I heard a small gasp from him, but he otherwise stayed silent to allow me to finish talking. I knew he understood what I meant.

"It's a strange thing, what people are willing to do to accomplish something. He breaks out of jail—" (I'm talking about the escaped prisoner mentioned earlier, for those who are confused) "—and seeks this woman in order to gain revenge on her. He rapes her then he tortures her to death using alchemy, the only weapon at his disposal."

"Wait, how did you…?" Al interrupted me, sounding surprised.

I turned my head towards him, my eyes narrowed. "I'm not stupid, Al! It's not hard to piece one and one together!" I sighed, letting my sudden anger to slowly dissipate. "He must have held a pretty harsh grudge against her to make him even consider doing something like that. Either he was insane to the head from the start or devils really do exist." I found myself laughing bitterly at that last part. So I considered myself a devil now, huh?

The silence that followed was heart wrenching as Al pieced together my choice of words for that last sentence. I wasn't sure I wanted him to speak or not because he would either scold me or take the topic further. I knew my brother well enough to be able to predict somewhat of what he might do next.

"Don't try and hide it, Brother. I know what you're thinking." He finally said, breaking the silence. "You're not the only person at fault for what we did to Mom, so stop trying to pin that on yourself!" Yep, a scolding. "We don't know what was running through that guy's mind when he murdered that woman, but we do know this. He was desperate, even though it was for revenge. People are willing to do almost anything when they're desperate. That doesn't make him insane or a devil. He was just a guy who went down the wrong path in an attempt to make his life better."

Just a guy who went down the wrong path in an attempt to make his life better… I felt some surge of comfort through these words. He was just like me and Al. We tried to bring our mother back from the grave to see her smile and to pick up the shattered pieces of our life, disappointing her with our reluctance to move on instead of making her happy by accepting the flow of death and not lingering over such a thing.

As if reading my mind, Al continued on. "But what really sets us apart from people like him is the fact that we're trying to get back what we lost without resorting to desperate measures that'll make the people we care for suffer. Even if it takes us years to come up with a way, I'll make your body whole again."

For the first time that day a smile appeared on my face. "And I'll get you your body back, Al." I promised.

The fact that I hurt Mom trying to bring her back from the dead and the grief of the consequences that came with it is something that'll never leave my mind. My right arm, left leg, and Al's body… I would get them all back. We faced our punishment for disturbing the flow of life and death, and I knew one day that the escaped prisoner would too.

Because we're not insane, nor are we devils. We're only humans who have trespassed on God's domain. The only thing left for us now is to move forward and hope one day we'd get our redemption.