Author Notes:

Guys, this is the sequel to my other fic A Small Glimpse. You won't need to have read that fic to follow on with this one, but if you want some more background - if you wish to read about how Cloud and Roxas met and fell in love with Zack and Axel, respectively, then go read that while you wait for this fic to be updated. Updates usually happen on a Sunday afternoon - USA time.

Just copy the following into the address bar after fanfictiondot net/s/11952314/1/In-Pursuit-of-a-Normal-Life-1-A-Small-Glimpse

Anyway, A Place To Belong is the second part of my series - In Pursuit of a Normal Life. The entire series is a slow burn. So if you're into that. then I hope you enjoy :)

Please leave reviews if you've enjoyed this fic and series.

~cream pudding

Chapter 1

Southward

Summary:

Cloud gives Roxas a choice, which ends up drastically shaping their future.

There was a knock.

"Five more minutes," came the tired mutter from inside.

A loud sigh emerged from somewhere above.

"So just long enough for you to shirk your responsibilities, I see." the voice had drifted further away with every word.

Roxas stretched as much as he could in the confined space of the sidecar. He had been surprised at how uncomfortable it had been getting back into this infernal coffin. He however was also quite perturbed over simultaneously having adjusted to the whole situation again so rapidly. It's like his body still remembered what it was like doing this for two years. The three months of respite had meant nothing. They were right back where they had been before their stop at Radiant Gardens.

It hurt like hell; the memory of that wonderful time. All Roxas could do was pretend that he loved traveling again in a vain hope to mask the resentment. But Roxas at least wasn't feeling resentful towards his brother, who was busy unpacking their sleeping bags. It was a larger resentment directed at their situation. At their fate or destiny.

They had found it. Had found friends, family, a home. They had been comfortable. They had been able to relax. There was a taste of that normal life which Roxas had longed for and also dreaded. But then it was taken away once more.

It boggled Roxas' mind. Two days ago they had left Zack, Aerith, the Church. They had left Axel behind. Roxas' heart lurched in pain at that thought. He wanted to be back there so badly. Wanted to be held and kissed by Axel so desperately. But it wasn't to be. Instead he had been thrust once more into this uncomfortable and undesirable journey. But at the very least they were heading somewhere that Roxas actually wanted to visit and see. What a poor consolation prize though, thought Roxas with grave disappointment.

A few hours after leaving their former lives behind they had pulled in at a rest stop. Cloud had stocked up on some food and knick-knacks while Roxas had stood browsing the magazine racks absentmindedly. In truth his mind had been on Axel. The further Roxas moved from Axel the clearer his mind seemed to get. He began thinking more about Axel's words to him; that he would take care of Roxas' 'problem'. Roxas felt stupid at having been so gullible. He hadn't been thinking, too caught up in their passion for each other. Roxas wished he had argued with Axel. Gotten more information out of him instead of blindly believing that Axel could somehow handle the situation. He had left his friends and his love behind to be hurt by his tormentor. Those were the thoughts that plagued Roxas.

But Cloud had pulled him out of his misery.

"Where do you want to go, Roxas?"

It had been such a simple question but Roxas had just stared at Cloud dumbfounded. He thought he had misheard at first. Yet the question had been put to him again.

"Where do you want to go, Roxas?" As if to emphasize the point Cloud had waved a wad of maps in front of Roxas' face.

Roxas had heard correctly after all. This was a pleasant and completely unexpected change; Cloud actually asking for Roxas' input into something.

"Wutai" was the simple and abrupt response.

Roxas still remembered the look that had passed over Cloud's features. He swore there had been a flash of deep regret over having asked the question on his brother's face. Yet that look had cleared in an instance. Roxas had been acknowledged with a brief nod and an 'Ok'.

And now they were here. Roxas was still reeling over that fact.

Wutai was a large island off the mainland. All the bridges had been bombed during the war so the only access now was by ferry. They had crossed the sea earlier in the day that way. A military presence could still be felt as their bike had approached the docking area. There had been a lot of traffic which Roxas thought had eased Cloud's flaring anxiety a bit. Roxas was sure his brother had been extremely nervous about the military personnel but that the large crowd somehow relaxed him into feeling like they could blend in.

Roxas had been really excited to be on such a big ferry. Cloud on the other hand had spent the entire time looking green in the face. Roxas had enjoyed teasing his brother relentlessly by eating food in front of him and constantly offering Cloud the smelliest of the snacks.

A chuckle escaped his throat thinking back on how Cloud had heaved once they had reached dry land again.

"What are you laughing about now?" came Cloud's gruff bark. Roxas took his helmet off and shot a bright grin towards him.

"Just thinking about your motion sickness," laughed Roxas, which netted him a disgruntled look from Cloud who was a short distance across the field. "I thought I knew you really well. But you're still full of surprises!"

"If you don't get your arse over here and start helping me you'll see a few more surprised," threatened Cloud.

"Ok, ok. Puking makes you really grumpy, anyone ever tell you that?"

Silence.

The two brothers set up their camp a fair way off the road. They had passed through the harbor town once they got off the ferry, with the aim of getting to the capital, Wutai Village, about a day's ride west. The traffic had eased off once they got into the country. There were mountains everywhere, and quaint villages tucked between the folds of the valleys. Roxas had gazed upon all the sights in wonderment. The fifteen year long war had left scars everywhere. The roads were in disrepair. The few villages which had survived, all bore the evidence that they only just had scraped by. Charred remains and hollow shells of whole communities lay scattered in fields. Only ghosts of towns and peoples lives remained. Cloud had decided to turn off the main road a couple of miles back and to make camp in one of these graveyard fields. It was eerie.

"These mountains act like funnels for the wind. We should be somewhat protected from it if we bunker down here for the night." Cloud kicked some of the burnt and scattered bricks into a circle where they would light a fire shortly. The wind howled and the sunlight faded, plunging the world into grays and deep blues. Roxas was tasked with searching through the debris for items they might use as kindling. Wutai was down south enough for it to not be too cold, but a fire would be a welcoming sight nonetheless. Mostly to keep the ghosts away as well as the early morning chill which would eventually creep upon them.

Time passed and the night deepened.

"This place feels haunted," pipped up Roxas after they had finished their meager meal. He looked at an old and ragged teddy bear he had found among the rubble, which was now melting into the all consuming flames. "So many lives were destroyed. So many people never had a home to return to."

They both sat in silence. Roxas thought of their own home and how it had been taken away from them in a roundabout way thanks to the war having taken their father away.

"But Wutai isn't dead. People are rebuilding their lives. Everything was burned and destroyed, but-," Cloud trailed off for a moment, listening and looking beyond the fire, into the darkness beyond. Roxas' ears pricked up too. As he tuned in to their surroundings the crackle of the fire, which had been a loud roar in his ears just moments ago, faded against the even louder orchestra of crickets and cicadas chirping. Frogs croaked and the faint hooting of an owl echoed in the distant valley. Roxas gazed into the pitch black and began seeing faint lights dotting the landscape far beyond their reach. "Life is all around us, Roxas. As long as there's life it will go on. Just like we have found a way to go on." Cloud's voice was very low, almost like he was talking aloud to himself, desperately trying to remind himself of the need to survive.

"I'm really glad I have you in my life, Cloud. I know we both feel like we've caused each other a lot of grief, but I couldn't imagine going through all this alone," muttered Roxas. He didn't feel too comfortable having this conversation with his brother. It just wasn't something they ever did much of, but right now he really just wanted to share this moment and that sentiment with Cloud.

Roxas looked at Cloud, as his older brother startled him by suddenly leaning against him with his shoulder. "No one should have to go through what we've been through alone," agreed Cloud, echoing Roxas' sentiment. "I'm glad I've got you too."

Roxas nodded and a small smile spread across his face, thinking about all the friends he had made along the way recently. "We're definitely not alone anymore."

Some more silence passed between the brothers, while life was going on all around them.

"You miss him?" The question was barely above a whisper as it left Cloud's throat.

"Yeah," came the equally quiet response. After a moment longer Roxas felt Cloud's weight shift away.

"Do you really love Axel?" Cloud probed gently.

Roxas, who might have riled against this inquiry in the past only smiled softly. "You remind me of Zack. I knew being with him would be good for you," chuckled Roxas with genuine happiness.

"It's softened you up," answers Roxas when he saw Cloud's puzzled expression.

"But do you?" probed Cloud further, with reddening cheeks.

"I feel the same way about Axel as you do about Zack," responded Roxas with conviction.

Worry darted across Cloud's eyes. With some hesitation Cloud spoke up. "You should experience the world more before you go back to him. It's easy to get infatuated with someone when you haven't had much experience."

The mellow feeling in Roxas began to die away. He could feel his temper rising a little and defensiveness for himself and Axel creeping in.

"Is that what happened to you with -", Roxas couldn't say his name. He couldn't hurt his brother like that, not again. He changed tact and lightened his tone. "Is that what Zack is to you?"

"I just worry about you, Roxas," Cloud responded, completely disregarding his brothers question once again. "You don't know how people can be. I don't want you to be stuck in a relationship because-" Cloud trailed off, seemingly thinking about something very personal. "Live your life for yourself, and then make a decision around whether or not to go back to Axel." Cloud found renewed strength from somewhere deep within himself. "It's better to want to be with someone out of your own free will than feel you need someone to be whole."

Cloud's words resonated inside of Roxas. Axel had bade him to live his life until they could be reunited. Axel had wanted him to be happy, as did Cloud. A slight nauseous feeling welled up inside of Roxas. All these people wanted and wished the best for him. As if Roxas was so special to deserve such care from everyone. Even Zack had called him special. But what was Roxas but a burden on society and his friends and family?

Roxas felt inadequate, pure and simple. The last few days travel and introspection had him feeling like he needed to do more with his life. If he was going to cause so much trouble to the people he cared about he wanted to at least do something worthwhile and have others be proud of him. It's why he decided that he wanted to go to Wutai. He wanted to connect with his father. Wanted to connect with a place that had been so badly hurt so he could see in what ways he might be able to help.

"I will live my life, Cloud. I won't hang around in limbo, I swear. But I'll also go back to Radiant Gardens one day, because I also made that promise to Axel." His eyes shone as the dancing firelight reflected off unshed tears.