A/N: Some humor, love, and lots and lots of angst.
I don't own the characters.
"Edward," Bella laughs as I squeeze her tighter against me. "Baby, I have to go."
I shake my head, nuzzling my face into her strawberry scented air. "Please, take the day off."
"You have work too." She points out. She unwraps herself from my arms and takes a step back. Using her index finger she pokes me firmly in the chest. "We have to get to work. We can't be immature right now."
"B-" I start to protest but am cut off by the firm shake of her head.
"No buts! We took last Monday off, remember?"
I wiggle my eyebrows suggestively. "How could I forget?"
Bella blushes and snorts. "I'm gonna be late." She wraps her arms around my neck. "You'll see me later. Tonight." To go further into detail of her suggestions, she nibble my earlob sucking it in between her two front teeth.
I shiver.
When she pulls back, I kiss her on the lips silently. "I love you." I murmur. "I'll see you soon."
"I'll see you soon." Bella kisses my check. "I love you too, Edward. Always."
"Okay," I pat her ass lightly. "Be good." She rolls her eyes at me before turning around and sauntering the front door, pulling her car keys from her pocket. I watch her leave with a content smile on my face. How did I get so lucky?
"Be safe." I warn her before she opens the front door, slipping on her shoes that are right beside it.
"Always am, always will be. I promise." She assures me just as she does every morning. I snicker and she leaves, closing the front door behind her with a soft click.
Bella Cullen. My wife. My wife of two months. We're still in the honeymoon stage you could say; we hate spending a moment apart.
We've known each other since we were kids, we were the two off on our own by the playground digging in the sand becaue the play equipment held absolutely no interest to us compared to the critters crawling in the sand. You could say we've been joined at the hip since we first met in grade one.
And if you'd say that; you'd be right.
I knew I'd marry her - that is after I got through the cootie stage - and I had my eyes on her from the get-go. I got jealous whenever she'd get touchy or flirty with another boy, which started in grade four. Yeah, we've both dated other people through high school, but we've always been friends and in the end we landed in each other's arms. Most people predicted that, anyone who knew us did. My mother and her mother would gossip about it every Sunday at church.
I believed it too, and I know Bella did as well.
We married in May, when the sun was peeking and the flowers were blooming. It wasn't too cool nor too hot and it was the most beautiful outdoor event that could possibly exist. It wasn't a large nor a small wedding; I couldn't tell you how many people were there for I noticed no one but my Bella. My sister Rosalie played the piano as Bella ambled down the aisle towards me and I'm sure everyone cried tears of happiness. Our wedding was romantic; we'd each written our vows and took our time reciting them.
There weren't many decorations; seeing the natural scenery around us was enough.
Bella was beautiful as she is everyday and her best accessory was her smile. We promised each other forever that day, and that's the reason it was the best day of my life.
We're only twenty-two, but we act older. That's what people say anyways. We didn't want to stay in the playing field; we wanted to settle down and be together. So we did.
And I couldn't be happier.
I glance at the clock and silently curse myself for getting behind schedule. If I go at this pace I'll never get to work. I rush over to the toaster and grab the piece of bread I popped in there ten minutes ago, take a bite and head out the door. I close the door behind me and huff loudly.
Please don't tell me I'm still in my boxers.
I look down.
Nope, just wearing my invisible pants.
I blush and look around, thankful that the neighbours didn't see me. I'm on my front porch with a piece of toast hanging from my mouth like a day's old cigarette and a briefcase in my left hand all while being in just my boxers.
That's what I get for sleeping in.
It's not my fault though; it's a Monday. Monday's just shouldn't exist. They're horrible, just the name makes me shudder and frown in disgust. It's okay to be uncoordinated on a Monday, right?
Before I lose myself in another mental bicker, I hurry inside and get dressed all while trying to eat my yucky toast. For one it's burnt on the sides and for two it's been sitting around for too long. I completely forgot about it when Bella came out from the half hour in the bathroom getting ready. It's not my fault she's so seductive in workclothes.
It's not my fault she's so seductive in anything.
Or nothing.
Preferably the second.
Anyways, once I manage to concentrate on something serious and about something other than my uber hot wife naked, I make sure my pants are zipped up, grab my keys and head out the door... again.
Yeah, today was going to be a long day.
...
I knew something was off the moment I got home from work. Bella's Sedan wasn't parked in the driveway, that was the first give away. Then, when I walked up to the front door and found it locked, I knew she wasn't home.
Once I get inside the house I look around. Nothing was different from when I left in the morning. Nothing has been touched. Matter of factly, there is still toast crumbs on the kitchen counter and if Bella had been home, that's the first thing she would've cleaned. The woman can't handle a mess even if it's just bread crumbs.
So, what do I do? I switch on the lights, take a piss, and settle down in front of the television to blow off some time. Maybe she had to stay late and couldn't call me? I think about all the possibilitites as I flick through channel after boring channel.
By five o'clock, I'm anxious.
Maybe there's way too much traffic. I told her we didn't have to move into the city and even though we did, her job is on the other side of town.
There wasn't traffic when I drove home, but my job is only two blocks away. I could easily walk. Maybe I'll start walking.
I look to the clock. 5:02. Shit. Where is she? She's never been this late. Granted, we've lived together for three months or so, but still. I worry easily.
I hear the clock tick and by the tenth time it ticks, I'm on my feet and grabbing the home phone. I'll call her cellphone, there isn't any harm in that.
I dial and let it ring. And ring. And ring.
Beeeeeep.
I hang up.
Where could she be?
I try her work number, but no one picks up. Duh, the place closes at four.
I growl. Where is she? She's ought to know how much this is worrying me. How can she be so careless? She could have texted or called. I'm just worrying. This isn't right.
In the pit of my stomach, I know somethings wrong.
...
I'm perched on the edge of the couch with my hands tugging my hair when I hear the knock on the door. I get up and walk over and open it slowly.
A fucking officer is standing there.
"Hello, Mr. Cullen?" The man asks in a gruff voice.
I stare at his badge, my eyes showing no emotion. I nod once.
"It's Officer Bentley here. It appears that today your wife was in a horrible accident out on the main drift. We couldn't identify her for a while or else we would've gotten to you sooner. I'm very sorry to be telling you this, I know it can't be easy. The nurses are calling her parents and-"
"What?" I snap my head up and meet his soft stare.
"Isabella Cullen is your wife, correct?" He looks over to the house number to double check.
"Yes, where is she?" My voice shakes. I grip my hand on the door. "Tell me now."
"She's at the hospital." He hangs his head.
It flows into me; his words.
Horrible accident.
Couldn't identify her.
I look behind me at finally notice what I hadn't earlier. She left her purse on the coffee table. She only had her keys on her.
"What hospital? How is she?" I demand loudly and take a step out front. "When did this happen?"
Calmly, the man clasps my shoulder and tries to soothe me. He tells me he'll take me to the hospital to meet up with the rest of the family. He tells me everything will be okay, that it was just a wrong place at a wrong time.
He tells me, "She didn't make it."
...
I hop out of the police car I was told to ride in to get to the hospital. We'll we're at the hospital. Where the fuck is my wife? I run through the front doors and make a scene. People are sitting on waiting room chairs and I spot my mother holding a tissue in the corner. Her parents live in the next town; they must not be here yet.
Bella. Bella. Bella.
My eyes scan the room.
"Bella." I murmur through barely opened lips. My mother takes a step towards me and wraps her arms around me. I stand there stiffly.
"Where's Bella?" I demand loudly to anyone willing to listen. I pull back from my mother's embrace and don't wait for an answer. I'll fucking find her myself.
I run through the hallways and look in every door. I don't see her, but a doctor runs over to me and stops me. "I need my wife." I tell him. "Bella, Isabella Cullen. She's... she's..."
"Shh." The man with the name tag 'Dr. Snow' tries to comfort me. I let him guide me wherever he wants. Maybe he'll catch on and take me where the fuck I want to go.
I need Bella.
...
"This is a sick fuckin' joke." I scream, I yell, I pull my hair. I scream some more. My dad and Charlie - Bella's dad - push me down. They looked strained. The women are crying. I'm still yelling, cursing, I don't even know what I'm saying.
"Edward." My dad sits beside me and places his hand on my knee. "It'll be alright."
"No it won't." I sob now. "Not until I get her back."
I know his answer, he doesn't have to say it. I won't get her back. I just refuse to believe it. Just this morning we were kissing and nuzzling and joking around.
I stand up and push my father aside. "She promised." I point at the doctor. "She promised me. She said- said she'll be safe. I know..."
"Edward," The doctor says for the thousandth time today.
"How?" I ask again. "How?"
"Wrong place, wrong time. A semi was passing a car on the main drift. Head on collision; she died instantly. Painlessly, I hope." The doctor shortens the story this time, for he's told me at least ten times already.
"I..." I look around. "No." My eyes are wet so I dry to blink them dry.
Not Bella.
Not the precious woman I married only two months ago.
"Edward," She'd giggle and her eyes would lighten. I would tickle her sides more and she'd squirm underneath me in reponse. Flesh on flesh, heat on heat.
"I love you." I'd remind her.
"I love you too." She would reply and kiss me. It'd be a lazy kiss I suppose, one that would last an eternity in just a moment. It would be all the reassurance I need in the world. "I want you to make love to me."
And I would.
"We were gonna watch a movie tonight. Blade. That 1998 movie; we'd laugh at how fake it seemed, but Bella would still squirm into my side at the gory parts. We've watched the movie hundreds of times, but always react different to it." I murmur more to myself, but I know everyone else was listening. I don't know how I kept my voice steady. I suck in a breath, "We were gonna paint the garage. Bella hates the icky green colour. We had bought the paint just last week. We'd make it a weekend thing and just spend the time together. Laughing, smiling, talking.
"We wanted a family. Soon. And we were gonna get that soon. We..." I shake my head as my voice shakes. "A boy named Masen and a girl named Abigal. We had it all planned out. They were gonna be perfect. Fuck, how could they not be?"
I turn and punch the nearest wall. My fingers hurt instantly and I leave a huge hole in it. I hear gasps. "But that's all taken away from us because of one fucker who owns a semi. One fuckhead that lived through his mistake." I grind my teeth. Hard.
This is a dream. A fucking horrible nightmare. It has to be.
She promised me. She... Bella, she told me. We had plans, we had a whole life ahead of us.
It's all gone because of one dumbass.
My whole world is shattered. She was my everything, she is my everything.
Now that's gone.
"You can see her if you'd like, to say goodbye." The doctor says in an easy tone. How could he be so easy about this? How can he be breathing without guilt. He's alive and she isn't. How many time does he go through this? Telling a family - a husband - that he might as well do curl up and die because that's all that's fucking left to do-
My mother places her hand on my arm. I didn't even notice she walked over to me. "Let's go, Edward. Let's go say farewell."
I look at the floor and swallow thickly before nodding.
I'm going to see my wife for the last time. She'll be unmoving, pale, cold, battered and broken. She won't be alive, breathing, smiling. She won't hear me, feel me, smell me.
I won't hold her in her sleep at night anymore. I won't tickle her under the covers. I won't wake up with her there. I won't have dinner with her or take her out on dates. I won't have anyone to laugh at gory movies with. I won't have the family I wanted, I won't have the memories I yearned for.
I'll won't have anything.
I breathe in deeply and it's almost as though I can smell the fresh scent of strawberries; the fresh scent of her. I know I can't though. I won't ever again. I won't be able to kiss her rosy lips anymore or tell her how much I love her.
How much I love her.
How much I need her.
We were supposed to have forever.
She's never coming back, nothing'll be the same. I won't be the same.
I suck in air greedily, trying to gain the courage to go and say goodbye to my wife. Or her body anyways.
I look up at the ceiling and imagine past it, the sky, the clouds, and further up to heaven. I can imagine Bella's face, already angelic, with a soft smile.
I can already imagine her saying, "I love you too."
A/N: Tissues, tissues, where are those damn tissues!
Sorry guys, just finished a sad book and I had to write something with angst.
Leave a review you brave souls... thanks :)
