Robb Stark sighed, and put down the goblet of wine.
"So, that's Robert's rebellion, the ironborn insurrection and the ninepenny kings. That's a good count." His father laughed and looked at him.
"Compared to your war of five kings, yes. The whispering wood and Oxcross don't really count compared to the trident."
"Oh, come on! I captured the kingslayer! Surely that's a bonus!"
" Would you stop saying that?! I did some good, after all! It's not fun with that nickname, you know?"
"Shouldn't have killed the bloody king then, should you?"
"Shut up, Bronn. You should've stayed alive longer, Stark."
"It's not really my fault I died here! That's just unfair."
"Well, you should've kept it in your pants then, shouldn't you?"
"Shut up, Bronn. That's something the kingslayer and I can agree on."
"Seriously? Shut it."
"Why bother arguing? I killed a white walker. I get the bonus."
"Compared to Azor Ahai, you don't, Snow"
"Well, that didn't work out for you, did it, Stannis? I think we deduct points for the general killing of daughters here."
"Thats a bit harsh. How will Tyrion get on the scoresheet? If we include family members, he only gets two kills."
"A man has three. But a man is faceless, so a man could kill you all right now."
"Well, being an assassin is cheating. I got Vardis Egen. Surely I get a slight bonus, for being a mere sellsword?"
"No. You're too deadly."
"And the Boltons aren't?"
"What about Brienne?"
" No changing the subject, Stark. Still, it was ironic you died of arrows, then a sword."
"Why?"
" Well, we've all seen Fellowship of the Ring, so we all know how your father feels about arrows."
"Shut up. Can we get a cheer for the mountain for most creative kill ever?"
"Fine, but I want my killing someone taking a dump bonus." Suddenly, the door opened, and Arya walked in. Everyone instantly went glum faced and started grumbling about and impossibly high killcount. She smiled sweetly, and all competition seemed to melt away.