Disclaimer: Sadly, neither Sherlock nor Harry Potter are mine. I just took their characters and played with them a bit

Placing: Before the books. Hermione's seventh birthday

Crossover with the "Sherlock"-Series

Challenge: 'Prompt of the day'. Prompt (dialogue): "When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them." 1035 words. Gryffindor, Hogwarts.

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SHERLOCK

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"I… I'm actally not too sure if I should think of this as endearing or disturbing," Brandton Granger said slowly while looking around the corner into the living room.

Hermione's mother Jane raised an eyebrow at him, clearly unhappy with his statement.

Brandton huffed and shrugged with an apologizing look on his face.

"It's not that I think it isn't great and all that," he defended himself. "It's just that I'm not too sure if I'm ready for the consequences, you know?"

Jane raised an eyebrow.

"You're acting as if my son is currently raising the next super-villain," she stated unimpressed.

Brandton blinked, then turned to look back into the living room, now with actual unhidden concern on his face.

"You think so?" He asked nervously.

"Of course not!" Jane said amused. "My son would never try and raise a super-villain."

Brandton looked a bit disbelieving at his wife.

"He keeps human appendages in his fridge," he pointed out logically.

Jane huffed.

"Everybody needs a hobby," she said, sounding a little bit annoyed. "That doesn't mean that he would raise his little sister as a super-villain!"

Brandton looked at his wife a bit incredulously.

"His birthday present was a book called 'Dark Justice: The History of Punishment and Torture', Jane!" He exclaimed.

Jane looked at him as if she didn't see the problem.

"So what?" she asked. "He knows that she likes to read – what else is there?"

Brandton spluttered.

"Don't you think that that book isn't… age-appropriate for a barely seven-year-old?" He asked a bit concerned.

Jane thought that over.

"If you want to, I will talk with him about it, Brandton," she conceded. "You might be right. He should have waited with that book a year or two longer to give Hermione a chance to improve on her reading-levels first."

Brandton sighed.

"Not what I meant, dear," he said before looking back into the room.

He frowned again.

"I'm still not sure if I should be wary or think of it as cute," he decided.

Jane raised an eyebrow and followed his gaze.

"Well, I for my part think it's cute," she said. "Sherlock makes a very good older brother, don't you think so, too?"

Brandton frowned.

"I'm still a bit too concerned about the consequences of this to think of it as 'cute', I think," he decided unhappily.

Jane raised an eyebrow.

"So you truly think that Sherlock is trying to raise his little sister as a super-villain?" She asked and a dangerous note could be heard in her voice while saying that.

Brandton's eyes widened and he shook his head.

"No!" He said. "I'm just afraid how this and his present will influence our baby girl!"

He raised his hands.

"It's not that I think that Sherlock has bad intentions and all that," he defended himself. "I just fear that his advice will be less… helpful for Hermione considering the issues she already has in school with the other children!"

When Jane's eyes narrowed further, he looked at his wife apologetic.

"Sherlock is a good boy," he said. "I just think that some of his advice should be taken with a grain of salt – and Hermione is not yet old enough to do so!"

His wife's face turned thoughtful.

"I guess you might be right," she said. "His advice on milk and how to use or not use it definitely went a bit too far for a seven-year-old to understand."

Brandton snorted.

"That, too," he said. "But I'm more concerned about the behavioural advice he's giving her."

Jane raised an eyebrow in inquiry.

But before Brandton could say anything else, Sherlock's voice could be heard from inside the room.

Jane's third-born was currently walking up and down the living room, his arms flying around while he lectured the little girl who was sitting on the floor, looking at him in awe. Her huge, brown and innocent eyes following his every move and her brain clearly memorizing every word he said.

"You should know, my darling sister, that people are idiots," Sherlock lectured. "They are far too slow to understand the ingenuity it needs to understand the hidden aspects of crime. All they have is their usual behavioural pattern – no ingenuity there at all. That's also the reason why even idiots can manage the job of a police officer… not that you would want to be one! Crime, real crime, is something you don't stumble upon in a police officer's day to day lives! If the police would really consist of smart people, they would die of boredom long before a suitable crime would come around the corner!"

Hermione nodded, her face set in her version of a serious thinking face.

"But why aren't there more smart criminals out there?" She asked curiously.

Sherlock's face turned sour.

"That, my dear little sister, is the mystery of the universe," he declared.

Hermione nodded again.

"But don't worry, little sister!" Sherlock exclaimed. "Like that I'm at least not forced into the presence of those idiotic police officers every day. They can get way to… chummy."

He made a face at that and Hermione perked up.

"Chummy?" She asked confused.

Sherlock nodded seriously.

"They will follow you around and won't stop talking to you," he explained unhappily. "And then they'll go and try to tell you what you're allowed and not allowed to do. It's very, very bothersome!"

Hermione thought about that.

"Are they touching you and calling you names as well?" She wanted to know thoughtfully.

Sherlock nodded unhappily.

"Yes," he said, clearly not impressed. "That, too – all the time!"

Hermione frowned.

"Some people in my class do the same," she said unhappily. "How do I get them to stop?"

Sherlock shrugged.

"Who knows," he said. "When people get too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them."

"There!" Brandton said unhappily. "That's what I'm afraid off!"

Jane just looked at him, incomprehension in her face.

"I think it was quite a valuable advice," she said. "I fear I don't understand what is bothering you…"

Brandton sighed.

Sometimes he wished that his wife's sons hadn't inherited their difference in social behaviour from their mother...

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That's it for now.

How did you like my Sherlock?

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