I have been trying to get out a bit of my NaruHina wheelhouse lately, hence my InoXGaara story. Now, we have a comedic more crack-type pairing of Shino and Anko. This occurs after the events of The Last, and tries to stay close to canon. I want this to be funny and interesting, and I hope it is. I need to take a break from my other main stories and focus on this new one or my side ones. Well whatever. Enjoy and leave a review.
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Shino Aburame was in a state of contentment. He was content in the world, where his life was, and where his career was going. The world was at relative peace as the rivalries of old had been squashed in the Fourth Shinobi War and created a simpler world. Therefore, the mission load had lessened and giant catastrophes were fewer and farther between, though the recent events with the Hyuga kidnapping and the moon being involved yet again with a villain's scheme had reminded him to keep his head in the game. But even that had turned out well, as his best female friend, Hinata Hyuga, was finally in a healthy and happy relationship with her long term love Naruto Uzumaki who reciprocated her feelings. This was a huge development.
Personally, he was doing alright. His relationships with his friends were strong, and had grown since the war. He was closer friends with Naruto Uzumaki, Tenten, and Chouji Akimichi than he had ever expected in that time frame. He would be closer friends with Rock Lee and Shikamaru Nara, but Lee had refocused his efforts as a shinobi while Nara was consumed in his time as the best mind in Konoha and boyfriend of Temari of the Sand. And he had his close friendships with his two teammates, Hinata and Kiba Inuzuka. His family life was doing fine, his mother and father doing well and he was content with the status quo.
Professionally, his career was rock solid. He had ultimately remained a chunnin, but that was preferable to him at this stage in his life. He would most likely try again in a year or two to reach one of the jounin levels, but being a chunnin was a good fate. He was an active shinobi with an incredibly high success rate of completed missions and had even garnered a recommendation by his sensei, Kurenai Yuuhi, to be entered into the ANBU training program. The honor was great, but it was still a course in his life he was examining to see if it was his logical for him to make.
All in all, his life was content.
Shino had been taking a casual stroll in the village, perhaps going to get a meal from the local food vendors. Now he was suddenly surrounded by two of his friends, Kiba and Naruto Uzumaki and they seemed energetic. Naruto spoke up first.
"Shino, what's up buddy? You know, with me and Hinata, and Kiba and his girl, well we got to talking. We decided to be great friends, and get you a girlfriend too! So tonight, you have a blind date!" Naruto Uzumaki enthusiastically informed him with Kiba and Akamaru at his side, nodding in agreement.
"Blind date?" Shino mimicked in surprise.
Kiba nodded. "Yeah. Dude, you are like a brother to me, so I worry about you. I worry about how you don't even look at girls, and I don't want you to end up all alone and a workaholic. You can have more than that. So, you need a girlfriend."
"A blind date?" Shino asked again, making sure they were serious.
Naruto began to nod. "Yeah. It's at 7 pm at Shimora's Dango Stand. Pretty casual, it is only the first date. You don't even have to dress up or anything."
Shino managed to recollect himself and shook his head. "I refuse."
"You refuse?" Naruto was shocked, but Kiba let out a sigh.
"Shino, as your best friend, I reject your refusal." Kiba told him in a statement that confused him.
"You... reject my refusal? Because I don't believe that is how things work. I am made an offer, I am allowed to accept or refuse this offer. Because it was an offer, not a demand." Shino questioned Kiba's thought process.
Kiba shrugged. "Maybe not, but that is how it is going today. You can call it a demand. And as your best friend, I think you should go on this date." He squinched his face. "Honestly, Naruto picked her out and I don't think you guys will work at all but..." He trailed off, thinking to himself. Shino decided to respect his opinion and hear him out. "I mean, you seem to be blind to the fact that girls are available. Like, you could ask out a girl. You only see them as people."
Shino was confused. "Isn't that a normal and proper to see things? That all people are equal and we should not base someone's worth on their gender?" He thought this fair treatment was completely logical and right.
Naruto nodded. "I get what you are saying, but that's not true. Well, kinda not true. I mean, a girl is a different from a guy. They just kinda are. You don't see guys acting like Ino or girls acting like Lee, do you?"
Kiba frowned at Naruto. "No, you idiot. That's personality traits. Shino is trying not to be sexist or anything, but he is overthinking it." He turned to him. "Look, you are attracted to girls, right?" Shino nodded, confirming he was straight. "Okay, but do you plan to be single all your life?" Kiba questioned him.
"I do not plan to be single all my life. That seems like a life not fully lived." Shino said something a bit less logical, but true to his philosophical beliefs.
Kiba grinned. They were getting somewhere. "Exactly. And what me and Naruto are doing is just trying to help you, Shino. Sometimes, you just need a push. And we want to push you into finding a girlfriend. It would spice up your life, which right now is as plain as rice."
Naruto nodded happily. "Yeah, having a girlfriend is great. It's like having a best friend, but even better! I mean, I didn't realize how awesome kissing was until I kissed Hinata! And I bet you don't either."
Kiba let out a snort. "Didn't you kiss your best friend, Sasuke, on the last day of the academy? Wasn't that great?" Naruto turned to glare at Kiba who pulled up that repressed memory. Shino recalled it as well, and thought it a bit humorous in retrospect.
Naruto was tempted to fight Kiba, but it wasn't the time or place. He turned back to Shino. "Anyway, just trust me. Having a girlfriend is a great thing, and me and Kiba are just trying to help you."
Shino looked at them with a blank face. "I appreciate the thought, but any future relationships I have will be created from my own efforts, not from a blind date. Because of that, tell this blind date that I will be canceling and I apologize for the inconvience." He told them with a definitive tone.
Kiba rolled his eyes. "Shino, you do realize you are the last one of our group to not go on a date, right? Shino raised his eyebrow. Was this true?
Naruto nodded. He began to list off everyone with his fingers. "I mean, yeah! Hinata and I are together, Kiba has Mei, Sasuke and Sakura are a thing when he is around, Ino is seeing Sai, Chouji is seeing the girl from Kumo who is the ambassador, Shikamaru is engaged to Temari, Gaara had a marriage meeting which counts even though it was a sham, Kankuro apparently gets a lot of girls in Suna, Tenten had a thing with that friend of Neji's for a while and even Lee got asked out by a girl." He had his eyes wide.
Even Shino was surprised. "Rock Lee had a female ask him out?"
Kiba nodded. "Yeah, I was there. It was the wildest thing, apparently she had seen him during the war and thought he was awesome and all this stuff and asked him out. Lee got really embarrassed but he said yes."
Shino was wondering why he hadn't heard of this before. "So Rock Lee has a girlfriend?" Something about that seemed off to him. Lee had a girlfriend, but he didn't? He wasn't actively searching, and he liked the guy but... it was Rock Lee.
Naruto shook his head. "Oh no, the date was a disaster. Food spilled, he called her Sakura, her brother showed up, and Lee got drunk. He nearly took out the whole resturant." Naruto remembered the interesting event. Shino know knew when this incident occurred and why it had been swept under the rug. "But still, Lee had a date. He actually got asked to a second one, but he was so embarassed abou the first he said no."
Two girls had gone up to Lee and asked him out. Two. And yet here he was, with no female attention. It was probably the kikaichu. Girls did not dig bugs. He decided to probe. "This blind date, does she know it is me?"
Naruto shook her head. "No, she doesn't. She is just single and was interested when I asked her to be a blind date for my friend."
"Shino, I say give it a try. I want to see you happy, and a girl really does that for you. I know you can find happiness within your self and stuff, but still..." Kiba left off his statement, hoping it would convince Shino.
Shino began to think about it in seriousness. Did he have plans that night? No he did not. Would interacting with people be a bad thing? No it would not. Did the idea of a date interest him? Honestly, it did. Rock Lee had a date for Kami's sake. If this date went well, could he handle a girlfriend? Shino had no clue, but that was kind of exciting for him. Could this random girl be the one for him? But that seemed unlikely, statistically speaking. Yes, Temari and Hinata seemed to have found their soulmates, but this was still suspect for Chouji and Ino/Sai. Tenten, Rock Lee, and even Kiba had failed dates before their current situations. And the relationship between Sasuke Uchiha and Sakura Haruno was a matter beyond Shino's paygrade to contemplate. But still, finding someone seemed nice. A girl who would be interested in him. Or would turn the other way when she saw him coming. Either way, it was worth the risk to find out.
"You said the blind date was at 7 pm at Shimora's?" Shino eventually asked Naruto and Kiba, both of them getting excited.
"So you are saying yes?" Naruto asked eagerly. Shino nodded his head in confirmation, causing Naruto to jump in the air in joy. "Yes, I did it!" Naruto yelled to himself, mostly. "Call me Cupid Uzumaki!" He said landing. Kiba and Shino were slightly embarassed to be around him.
Kiba put a hand on Shino's shoulder. "Good for you taking this step. And when this date turns sour, it only means Naruto doesn't know the right choice in women for you. So next time, you will have a real girlfriend candidate on your hands!" Kiba gave a fangy grin to his friend.
Naruto got annoyed at Kiba. "Says you, baka. I am the great Cupid Uzumaki, and I do declare that this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship."
Kiba rolled his eyes yet again. "Wanna bet? 500 ryo this will be the only date."
Naruto got an oddly confident smile on his face. "Really, you wanna bet against me? If Granny is the legendary Sucker, I'm the King of winning! You're on!"
Kiba brushed it off. "This time you are going to lose. No way she and Shino will work."
Shino began to become really curious. "You seem so confident about our incompatibility, Kiba. Could you tell me who it is, so I may be the judge of that?"
Kiba seemed ready to tell him, but Naruto leaped at him and covered his mouth. "No can do, Shino. It wouldn't be a blind date if one of the people knew who it was. Just... keep an open mind. And bring money. Lots of money. She has a real sweet tooth for dango." He began to drag Kiba away in order to keep the secret intact, with Akamaru following them.
Kiba licked Naruto's hand to get him off, grossing Naruto out. He called back to Shino. "Yo, we told her to meet you left at the entrance at 7 on the dot. Don't be late!" He let out a chuckle as he walked away from an obviously annoyed Naruto, yelling at him for licking him.
Shino could not help but be interested in this mystery woman. She liked dango and was probably the opposite of him, judging by Kiba's reaction to her. He didn't know anyone like that off the top of his head. So who could that be?