You can make it

by castlelover22

People say you don't know what you have until it's gone. And that's when people usually open their eyes.

You can make it

Castle woke up. For some reason he couldn't sleep at night for days now. Just like he would do in the past couple of nights, he would get out of his bed and head for the kitchen. When he turned on the lights in the kitchen, he looked at his watch. It was 4:25 a.m. He opened the fridge, took out the milk and got the glass from the cabinet. He pour himself a glass of milk and put it in the microwave to heat it up, just a little bit. As he was about to drink his milk, his phone started to ring. He went to his room and saw the caller ID. It was Beckett.

Castle: Castle!

Beckett: Hey, sorry for waking you up but we have a body.

Castle: It's OK, I was up anyway. Where is it?

Beckett: It's down at the docks. I can pick you up in 15 minutes.

Castle: Yeah, sure. See you in 15 minutes.

And with that they hung up. Castle quickly got dressed, wrote a note to Alexis and his mother that he's with Beckett, on the case. And he left the loft to wait for Beckett at the entrance of his building.

When they finished with eyewitnesses at the crime scene and when they got all the informations they could gather at the crime scene, they headed back to the precinct. All four of them. Ryan and Esposito in one car, Castle and Beckett in other car. Ever since they left the crime scene Castle has been too giddy, as Beckett would say. He would start one theory then shift to another, and another etc. At first Beckett was following Castle on his theory but as he constantly kept shifting from one theory to another, she gave up. She stoped listening to him, at least she tried. They got to the precinct, they let their captain in on the case and went on with their work. They didn't do much that day, and at about 6 p.m. they called it for a night. During the hole day Beckett was nervous and didn't felt to much about Castle's theories. She had her personal problems, the relationship with Josh wasn't going the way she was hoping. So, she was to tired and decided to just go home.

Castle was suprised that Beckett willingly went home at 6 p.m. When they had a case like this she would stay in the precinct late, until he would finaly convice her to go home. Castle looked to Ryan and Esposito and they simply shruged their shoulders. They were actually glad that Beckett herself told them to go home and continue tomorrow. Castle also gave up and headed home. He grabbed a cab, thinking that he would see what got into Beckett tomorrow.

Castle got to the precinct around 8 a.m. and Beckett was already there. Ryan and Esposito weren't there yet. He sat in his usually place and handed Beckett her coffee. She thanked him with a simple nodd as she contiuned to read the file that was in front of her. He knew that now wasn't the best time to ask her about yesterday so he decided to ask her later that day. After 20 minutes, Ryan and Esposito came to the precintc and started to work on the case. During the afternoon, they were fallowing up some leads. And around 3 p.m. Beckett decided she was up for a coffee brake. She simply got out of her chair and went to the brake room. She would usually ask Castle if he wanted some, but not this time. And Castle couldn't take it anymore. Ryan and Esposito were on the field, looking into something. So Castle decided to find out what was wrong with Beckett. He got out of his chair and went into the brake room, after her.

Castle: Hey, Beckett! Are you OK?

Beckett: Yeah, Castle, why shouldn't I be OK?

Castle: I don't know. That's why I'm here. I noticed yesterday and today that something is wrong. You're not typicaly yourself.

Beckett: Oh, you noticed that? Well, excuse me for having a bad day.

She just snapped. Deep inside she knew it wasn't his fault that she was grumpy and irritated, but she just couldn't handle herself. While they were fighting, Ryan and Esposito came back from the field and stood close enough to the brake room to hear what they were fighting about.

Castle: Look, I'm sorry if it's something I did. And I never ment to upset you. I just wanted to know if you're OK.

Beckett: Did it ever occur to you that I didn't want you to know? That I just want you to leave me alone and stop following me like some lost puppy.

Castle: Come on, Beckett. Calm down. You don't mean that!

Beckett: And how would you know what I meant, ha Casle? What, you think you know me? Well you don't. You don't know me. Just do me a favor and just leave, OK! Just go home! I can't deal with you right now. I got better things to do.

Castle: Deal with me? What are you saying?

Beckett: Are you deaf, stupid, or both? I'm tired of your stupid theories and babbling, OK! Just get the hell out of my life!

As soon as those words got out of her mouth she wished to take them back. She could see in his eyes just how much those words have stung him. He couldn't believe what she just told him. Esposito and Ryan looked at each other. They couldn't believe what she told him, either. They figured that one of them will be storming out so they went to their desks and just sat there, still looking in the direction of the brake room. In that moment Castle didn't know what to do or say. He turned around and went for the exit.

Beckett: I...Castle, wait!...I...

But, he didn't stop or turned around. He went for the stairs because he couldn't wait for the elevator. He needed to get out of there as soon as possible because he didn't want anyone to see tears in his eyes. He never in his life thought that she would tell him those words. He got into the cab and gave his lofts adress to the driver.

Beckett was standing in the brake room, thinking about what just happend. He didn't deserve that. But, he'll come back. He always did. And when he comes back she will apologize to him. Right now she should be thinking about the case. So she went to her desk. When she sat down she looked over to Ryan and Esposito. They were looking at her with shocking faces.

Beckett: What?

Ryan and Esposito: Nothing.

And they started to look thru the papers on their desks. Beckett knew that they probably heard the fight that she just had with Castle, but she couldn't handle it right now. So she did what she knew best. Bury herself in the case.

Thru all the ride to his loft Castle could only think about that last thing that she told him. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY LIFE! That stung and hurt him so much. When he got to the loft, his mother and daughter were in the kitchen. He couldn't deal with them right now, so he simply said to them as he was going for his office.

Castle: Hi, girls. I don't feel good right now so I will be in my office. Everything is fine, I just need to be alone for a while. OK? Thanks.

And he was in his office. He locked the door just in case his mother decides to come in. He hoped she wouldn't. He needed to think about anything else then Beckett's last words. He took a bottle of drink, sat at his desk. Took few sips of the drink, opened his laptop and thought about writing. But he couldn't. So he closed his laptop again and just went on drinking.

Meanwhile, Martha and Alexis were confused by the way Castle just behaived. It wasn't typical for him. When he locked himself into the office they simply looked at each other and shruged their shoulders. Couple hours later, Martha and Alexis were ready to go to the movie theater. Martha knocked on Castle's office doors.

Castle: I'm fine!

Martha: I know that darling but I just wanted to let you know that Alexis and I are off to the movie theater. We'll be back in two or three hours.

Castle: Oh, OK. Have a good time.

Martha: We will. And after we get back, maybe you'll want to tell us what's on your mind.

Castle: Yeah, maybe.

So, they left. It's better that they are gone, Castle thought. Now he could be alone with his thoughts. He unlocked his doors and went over to the kitchen. He haven't ate almost entire day. So, he ate some of the dinner leftovers and went back to his office. Only this time he didn't closed his door. He took his phone and looked thru pictures he had of him and Beckett, and there were some with him, Beckett, Ryan and Esposito. He kept looking at the pictures and thought how he's going to miss them all, especially her, Beckett.

Back at the precinct, Beckett felt bad. She thought about calling Castle and telling him that she was sorry and that she didn't mean what she said. But, she didn't. Every time she came to conclusion that he would come back the next day and that she would apologize to him then. About 7 p.m. Ryan and Esposito called it for tonight.

Ryan: Hey, Beckett! We're off, done for tonight.

Esposito: Yeah, maybe you should call it too.

Beckett: I'll stay just a little while. See you guys tomorrow.

And they left. In the elevator Ryan and Esposito agreed to go over to Castle, to see how he's doing. It was hard for them to hear and watch the fight they had, and it must have been 10 times worse to experience it. On their way to Castle's loft, they bought some drinks and snacks. When they were at the entrance of Castle's building, they were stoped by the calling of an elder women.

Martha: Boys...boys, hold on!

Ryan: Ms R. what are you doing here?

Martha: Alexis and I were at the movie theater. Richard wasn't himself when he got home early today so we figured to give him some space. What are you guys doing here? Is there a game of poker tonight, maybe?

Esposito: No, we came to see how Castle is doing. We know why he wasn't himself so we decided to check on him.

Ryan: Yeah, he had a big fight with Beckett today. We felt bad and came here.

Martha: Well, that would explain his behaivor. Well, enough chating outside. Come, lets go up.

Esposito and Ryan went into the elevator with Martha and Alexis. Ride to the loft was silent, everyone thinking about the fight. Esposito and Ryan recalling it, and Martha and Alexis imaginig how bad could it be, since Castle was so torn. Doors of the elevator got opened and they all went out of the elevator and headed to the loft. Alexis noticed that the doors were open. She looked to detectives and they pushed her behind them, along with Martha. They told them to stay in the hall until they checked the place. Martha and Alexis nodded at them and they drew their guns out of the holders. Esposito noded at Ryan and pushed the doors.

Ryan: NYPD! NOBODY MOVES!

Esposito: CASTLE! Where are you?

There was no answer. Ryan checked upstairs and Esposito went to Castle's office. Martha and Alexis were still in the hallway. When Esposito opened the doors of Castle's office he froze. He never expected to see something like that.

After looking into the same pictures for the last half an hour, Castle noticed that his bottle was empty. As he was getting up from his desk he heard a noise coming from the living room. From the front door, to be exact. He thought that eather Alexis or his mother forgot something and was back to get it. Slowly he went to the living room.

Castle: What did you girls forget?

But there was no response. Who he saw standing in front of his doors wasn't Martha or Alexis. It wasn't anyone familiar, for that matter. All he could see was that this person was holding a gun pointed at him. He slowly started to move backwards, to his office.

Castle: Who are you?

No response.

Castle: What do you want?

Still no response. As he was going backwards to his office that person followed him, in the same speed as he was going. Castle's mind was going 1000 miles a minute. He was trying to figure out what to do, where to run, to hide. He was hoping that he would be able to lock himself into the office and call 911. But when he saw this person approaching him, getting closer, he knew he wouldn't have enough time to close the doors. He tried one more time.

Castle: I asked you questions. Who are you, what do you want?... Say something!

But the person was silent. Instead he contionued to get closer to Castle. At this point Castle started to panic. He knew it was the worst thing at the moment like this, but he didn't know what else to do. Thru his mind were going last moments with the people he loved, he cared. His mother, Alexis, Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, and Beckett. He thought about how he would never see her again, he thought about all the thing he didn't tell her. He knew his mother would take care of Alexis, he knew she would be taken care of. But, Beckett? Would she even be sorry if he died? Before today, he would be sure that she would be sad, but after what she told him today at the precinct, he wasn't sure anymore. His thoughts were broken by two sharp sounds and a warm feeling in his stomach. He looked down and saw two bloody circles coming on his light blue buttoned shirt. He touched circles and there was blood on his fingers. This isn't good, he thought. Suddenly his legs gave up on him. He fell on the ground, on his back gasping for air. He saw the person leaving his loft. He turned his head to his desk. His phone was on it. He wanted to call someone, to call her, Beckett. To tell her he was sorry and that he loves her. He told her that once, when she was shot. But, she didn't hear him. She never told him anything about that when she woke up and when she got better. He tried to lift himself to grab the phone but he didn't have enough strenght. Soon darknes begin to cover over him. And in one moment everything went black.

When Esposito saw him on the ground, covered with blood, his first thought was that he was dead. How the hell was he going to tell this to his mother and daughter? How is he going to tell it to Beckett? He knew she cared about Castle, that she loved Castle, even though she would never admit it. How will she handle his death? He was snaped out of his thoughts by Ryan.

Ryan: Upstair is clear. There's no one here.

In that moment Esposito puts his gun to its holder and ran toward Castle. He got on his knees and went to feel if there is a puls. He found one, it was weak but it was there.

Esposito: Ryan, call 911! Now!

Ryan: Why? What's wrong?

As Ryan was asking this questions, he came to Castle's office. He saw Esposito kneeling beside Castle holding his hands over Castle's stomach, he was unconscious. He looked to Martha and Alexis who ran into the living when they heard Esposito.

Esposito: Damn it, Ryan! Call 911, now! And take care of Martha and Alexis, don't let them get in here.

Ryan: Yeah, on it!

Esposito: Come on, bro, you have to hold on Castle. You can do this, just stay with me.

Ryan dialed the 911, asked for an ambulance and then he turned to Martha and Alexis, who were terrified. They were sitting on the couch in the living room looking at him, in one moment, and in second toward Castle's office.

Ryan: There is something you need to know...Castle has been shot...Esposito is with him right now, but I need you to be here...Can you do that for me?

Neither Martha or Alexis said anything. They were in shock. They simply nodded, and then Alexis threw herself into her grandmothers arms and started to cry.

Martha: It's OK sweetheart, he'll be fine...You know your father, how he's stubborn...He'll be OK, right detective Ryan?

Ryan: Yes, of course. He's Castle!

Ryan said those words but in his eyes you could see the fear that they were going to lose him. All of them. Even though Castle wasn't a cop he was considered as part of the team, he was Beckett's partner. The four of them were partners and they made a hell of a team. His thoughts were broken by the sound of paramedics. He went to Esposito and kneelt on the opposite side.

Ryan: Paramedics are almost here. How is he? Is he alive?

Esposito: Yes, for now...You hear that Castle, help is on the way. Just hold on, a little while. Think about Beckett. How do you suppose me to tell her that your dead? Haa?...Come on, Ryan needs his co-best man...Right Ryan?

Ryan: Yeah, of course I do. Don't think you can get out of the wedding that easly!

The paramedics got there in record time. Ryan and Esposito moved so paramedics can do their thing. They got Castle on the strechers and started to walk out of Castle's loft. One of the paramedics turned around to Esposito and said that they were heading to General Hospital. Esposito showed them his badge and said that he'll be going with them. Then he turned to Ryan.

Esposito: Ryan, I'm going with them. You call this in, call the CSU and then you take Ms R. and Alexis to the hospital. They are taking him to General Hospital. I'll call Beckett. OK?

Ryan: OK, go, I'll get this!

And with that Esposito left the loft. Ryan explained to Martha and Alexis that they have to wait for the other officers before they can head to the hospital. An then, he started to make calls.

When they arrived to the hospital paramedics took Castle to ER. Esposito couldn't go there with them. So he took his phone to call Beckett. It's going to be a though one, he thought.

Back at the precinct Beckett was still sitting at her desk, going thru the files. Lanie approached to her from behind.

Lanie: Girl, you're still here? It's past 9 p.m. Come on, it's time to go home, have some rest. Where's Castle? He's always in here when you are.

Beckett: Hey, Lanie...Uuhhmmm, Castle...

Lanie: Honey, what's wrong?

Beckett: Castle is gone. We had a fight early today and...I kinda told him...I told him to get out of my life.

Lanie: What? Why did you say something like that?...What did he do to make you so mad at him?

Beckett: The thing, Lanie, is that he didn't do anything. I was mad at myself because I have been fighting with Josh lately, and today Castle went into the brake room, asking me if I was OK...And I just thought how Josh is so different then him...I wished Josh was more like Castle...And I know it wasn't his fault but I just snapped.

Lanie: Oh, honey, what did Castle do, after what you told him?

Beckett: He just turned around and left...He was hurt, I could see that...But he'll be back tomorrow, right? He always comes back.

Lanie: I don't know. I hope so. But come on, lets go home.

Beckett: Yeah, let me just grabb my pho...

In that moment her phone started to ring. She looked at ID and saw it was Esposito. Oh, God, I really hope there isn't another body, she thought before answering the phone.

Beckett: Esposito, what's up?

Esposito: Hey Beckett, where are you?

Beckett: I'm at the 12th. Why?

Esposito: Is there anyone with you?

Beckett: Just Lanie.

Esposito: Good. Are you sitting?

Beckett: No, what is this all about? Just spill it out Esposito. I'm not in the mood, OK!

Esposito: Yeah, well neither am I.

Beckett: What are you talking about Esposito?

Esposito: Beckett, it's Castle.

Beckett could feel her heart sinking down to her stomach. Something was terribly wrong. She sat down on her chair looking into Lanie. Lanie could tell that something isn't right. But she staid still, listening to Beckett.

Beckett: What about Castle? Where is he? Is he OK?

Esposito: No, he is not OK. He is in the hospital...Someone shot him...It's bad Beckett, really bad.

Beckett: No, no, no...that can't be...How, who, why...

Esposito: I don't know Beckett. I just got him to the hospital. Ryan will be here soon with Martha and Alexis.

Beckett couldn't breath. Lanie saw her face as Esposito told her that Castle is in the hospital. She could tell that something is terribly wrong.

Lanie: Kate, what is it? What happened? Is Castle OK?...Kate!

But Beckett didn't hear Lanie or Esposito. All she could think about is that Castle is in the hospital, fighting for his life and the last thing she told him was to get out of her life. No, this couldn't be happing. This is a dream, I fell asleep at work, she thought. In that moment, Lanie took her phone from her.

Lanie: It's Lanie. Esposito, tell me what the hell happend?

Esposito: Lanie, Castle's been shot. I need you to take care of Beckett. Is she OK? She didn't answer my question.

Lanie: What? Oh my God...for sure...she is in shock...where are you?

Esposito: I'm in General hospital. Ryan should be here soon with Martha and Alexis.

Lanie: OK, I'll get Beckett there, right now. Don't worry! Javi, sweetie, how bad is it?

Esposito: It's bad Lanie, really bad. I'll see you soon.

Lanie: For sure. Bye!

While Lanie was talking to Esposito over the phone, she kept looking at Beckett. She was in shock. When Lanie hung up the phone she took Beckett by her arm and pulled her up.

Lanie: Come on, girl! Snap out of it! We need to go.

Beckett: Lanie, he's going to die...I can't lose him...I...

Beckett started to cry.

Lanie: Kate, put yourself together. We need to get to the hospital. Everyone is there. Now, come on!

Beckett looked at Lanie who was holding her hand. She nodded and started walking. Lanie was right there, by her side. Beckett got to her car and, as soon as Lanie got in, she speeded up. She used siren and the light, for personal use, witch is something she had never done before. They arrived to the hospital in about 15 minutes. Beckett ran to the desk service, showed her badge and asked for Richard Castle. The nurse told her he was on the 3rd floor and that she can wait in the waiting room. Lanie and Beckett quickly got on the elevator. When they got to the waiting room Esposito, Ryan, Martha and Alexis were there. Lanie and Beckett walked to them.

Beckett: How is he? Is he going to make it?

Esposito: We don't know anything yet. They got him to surgery 5 minutes ago.

Lanie: How did this happend? Do you guys know anything?

Ryan: No, we don't know much right now. All we know is that Ms R. and Alexis left the loft around 7 p.m. to see a movie. Castle was in his office. We met Ms R. and Alexis in front of their building, around 9 p.m. Esposito and I were going to see how Castle was doing. So, we got up together. When we were in front of his loft, Alexis noticed that doors were open. Esposito and I went inside. I went upstairs and Esposito stayed down. When I got down Esposito was with Castle.

Beckett: Guys, I'm going to need you to look into it...Martha, how are you girls doing?

Martha: Well, I guess we are fine. How are you hanging on?

Beckett: Fine, I guess.

They all took seats and waited. That was the only thing they could do, at this moment. After two and half hours, a doctor finaly came to them.

Doctor Jordan: Family of Richard Castle?

They all stood up and turned to the doctor.

Martha: Yes?

Doctor Jordan: I'm doctor Jordan. Are you all his family?

Martha: Yes, we are. How is my son?

Doctor Jordan: OK. Mr. Castle was injured really bad. Luckly, one bullet missed all his organs and went straight thru. The second bullet made more problems. It injured his liver and part of his lung. We were able to stop the bleedings. We lost him once, but we were able to bring him back. He's in his room but he's in a coma.

Beckett: Is he going to make it? Can we see him?

Doctor Jordan: I can't say. It is up to him. Time will tell. You do have to know that there is a possibility that he won't wake up. You can go see him, but only one at the time. I'll see you later.

They all went to sit in front of Castle's room. They agreeded that Martha or Alexis should go inside first. Martha went first. After 5 minutes, she got out and Alexis got in. After Alexis was out, Ryan, then Esposito and then Lanie went inside. Beckett was the last one. She couldn't make herself to go inside. She felt bad for how things ended between her and Castle. Finaly, it was her turn. She walked into the room very slowly, like she was afraid she would wake him up. Castle was lying on the bed, looking so pale. He was so calm, and Beckett thought to herself that she never saw Castle so calm. Tears started to go down her cheek. She came closer to the bed. She took his hand. It was warm, as always.

Beckett: Castle, you can't give up. You have to be strong. You can't leave me, please. I need you. I know you probably can't hear me, but I really need you. In my life. I didn't mean what I said earler today. I was mad at someone else and I took it out on you. It was wrong, and I'm very sorry...Please, Rick, don't leave me.

She could feel that she was starting to lose control over herself. She quickly got out of the room and went to the hospital bathroom. She went into one of the sections and started to cry. Fear and worry about Castle got to her and she need to take it out. Couple of minutes later, Lanie walked in. Lanie saw the look on Kate's face when she walked out of Castle's room. She found Beckett and huged her, holding her tight as she was crying.

Lanie: Kate? Honey, are you OK?

Beckett: No, Lanie, I...I can't lose him. I love him, Lanie and I never even told him that...I know he loves me. He told me that when I was shot...but I've never let him know that I heard him. I think he thought I didn't remember...but I did! And now...now I'm going to lose him, Lanie. There are so many thing I wanted to tell him, to let him know...He is going to die and the last thing I told him was 'to get the hell out of my life'...I don't know if I can take it, Lanie!

She was losing it. She couldn't control herself. Lanie knew that Beckett would feel better if she got it all out.

Lanie: Oh, honey, he's not going to die. You can't think like that. He's Castle, he's strong. You have to be positive. Not just for yourself but also for his daughter and mother. If they see you like this, they'll brake too. And we can't let that happend...And all those things you just said to me, you need to tell them to Castle, honey! He needs to know.

Beckett: I know. You're right. But, Lanie, what if he doesn't make it? What am I suppose to do?

Lanie: He will make it. He has to!

Lanie gave a small smile to Beckett. To give her some hope. Although, Lanie hoped Castle would make it. She saw how Beckett was broken and all she wanted for Beckett was to be happy. And she could only be happy with Castle. So, Lanie let go of Beckett and let her wash her face. They got back to the waiting room.

Beckett: Ryan, Esposito! I would like you to go to the 12th and see what you can find out. We need to get the son of...the person who did this. I'm leaving you two in charge but keep me posted. I'm going to stay here, with Martha and Alexis. And Lanie...you should go home. You can come back tomorrow.

Esposito: Sure, but you call us as soon as he wakes up. Hang in there.

Ryan and Esposito left together. Lanie stayed couple of minutes more.

Lanie: Are you sure you don't want me to stay here, with you?

Beckett: Yeah, Lanie. There is no need for you to stay. I'll be OK.

So, Lanie left leaving Beckett to sit with Martha and Alexis. Beckett looked up to see that Alexis is looking at her. She forced a smile on her face to try and cheer up Alexis. Alexis stood up and sat next to Beckett.

Alexis: Detective Beckett, I would like to ask you something? I will understand if you don't want to answer me.

Beckett: You can call me Kate, and go ahead. You know you can ask me anything.

Alexis: Well, I was wondering if you would tell me what did you and my dad fight about? By the way he was acting, I could see that it was something serious.

Beckett figured that Alexis would ask her about the fight. She could choose not to tell her, but Alexis deserved to know the truth.

Beckett: Well, it was my fault. I was mad at myself and someone else and your father got in the wrong place in the wrong time. He noticed that I was intense and not myself, and he insisted to know what was wrong, if I was OK. And I just snapped, and I...I told him some things that weren't true and that I didn't mean.

Alexis: Oh...I won't say anything because that's between you and my dad. And because I can see that you feel bad about what happend...But, he's going to be OK, right Kate?

Beckett: Of course he will...He has to.

Martha was watching them. She could see that Beckett cared deeply for her son, even if Beckett didn't wanted to admit that to herself.

Back at the 12th, Ryan and Esposito were working hard on catching the person who was responsible. On their way back to the precinct they stoped at Castle's building to see if there were security cameras. They were lucky. Not only there were cameras at the front entrance but there were cameras on the Castle's floor. Right above his door. So, Ryan and Esposito got the tapes and quickly went to the precinct to watch them. After half an hour, they saw the person who shot Castle. They got the persons face into Face Recongnition Program. And after 5 minutes they had a match. The person already had a stocking charges and a restraing order.

Ryan: Should we call Beckett or handle this on our own?

Esposito: We should handle this. We'll go back to the hospital after we close this one. Unless Beckett calls us sooner...Lets get this SOB.

Ryan picked up his phone and dialed the phone number that was on his screen. The persons name was Joshua Markson. They called him in to ask him some questions but they didn't specifie about what. Two hours later, Joshua was in their interogation room.

Esposito: Lets do this, bro.

Ryan: Yeah, I'm right behind you.

And they went inside. Joshua was sitting still in his chair.

Esposito: Mr. Markson, I'm detective Esposito and this is detective Ryan. Thank you for coming down.

Markson: Sure thing. I'm always glad to help. Now, may I know what is this all about?

Esposito: Mr. Markson do you know who Richard Castle is?

Markson: Of course I know who he is. I think there isn't a person in New York that doesn't know who Richard Castle is. Why?

Ryan: If you don't mind, we will be asking questions. Where were you last night between 8 and 9 p.m.?

Markson: Hhmm...between 8 and 9? I think I was home in my bed...yes I was home.

Ryan: Home? Can anyone confirm that?

Markson: I don't think so. You see, I live alone.

Esposito: So you could be lieing to us right now, right?

Markson: I guess so, but I'm not. I'm telling you the truth.

Esposito: Really? How come we have evidence that at that time you were in Mr. Castle loft shooting at him. Can you explain that?

Markson: That is...that is apsurd. Why would you think something like that? What evidence?

Ryan: Here is the picture of you picking the lock of Mr. Castle loft at 8:03 and here is another picture of you leaving his loft 15 minutes later. We also have a statement from Mr. Castle doorman who confirmed that he saw you that night, at that time.

Markson: He had cameras in his building?...Oh I was so stuppid.

Esposito: Why did you do it?

Markson: Why do you think I did it?

Esposito: I don't know, that is why I'm asking you.

Markson: I thought he was different, you know. That he wasn't like all other celebrities, that he was nice, sweet, kind...But I was wrong. He's just like everybody else...He thought he was above us, normal people. Well he isn't.

Ryan: Why, Markson?

Markson: Because he wouldn't go out with me. There, now you know it. I sent him couple of letters, asking him if he would ever meet with me. Since I never got reply I thought that maybe his manager is reading his mail, and that maybe he didn't know. So, I started to follow Mr. Castle and every time he was alone I would use the situation and go for him. And I asked him couple of times. He always said that he was to busy. He was busy for me but he wasn't busy to go out to dinner with his mother or daughter or that girlfriend of his...That tall, brunette with long hair that I saw him with almost every day.

Ryan: Are you talking about detective Beckett?

Markson: I don't know what's her name...But this is going to teach him a lesson...Now he'll think twice before turning his fans down. That is if he's not dead. Is he...is he dead?

Esposito: You better hope that he doesn't die. Oh, and, he is different then other celebrities.

Esposito and Ryan left the interogation room and gave signal to the officer to take Markson to booking. One hour later they finished the paperwork and headed to the hospital.

Meanwhile, at the hospital there were no changes. Martha, Alexis and Beckett had a 30 minutes shifts in going into Castle's room. Doctor came by couple of times. Castle was a celebrity after all. Alexis was in Castle's room when Ryan and Eposito came back to the hospital. It was 9 in the morning so Lanie came as well. Beckett went to the bathroom to wash up a little when Lanie came to the boys.

Lanie: Hey guys. Anything new?

Ryan: No, we just got here, as well.

Martha: No, there were no changes. Doctor came couple of times last night, but everything is the same. Kate, Alexis and I have been taking 30 minutes shifts in his room. Kate is in the bathroom and Alexis is in his room, right now.

Lanie: And how are you doing?

Martha: Well, comparing to my son I'm fabulous. Part of me still can't believe that something like this happend.

As Martha was talking to Lanie and the boys, Beckett came out of the bathroom and came from behind. She listened to Martha.

Martha: You know, I always thought Richard would get hurt while he was following Kate, or you guys. Eventhough, I know you would do your best to protect him. But, I never thought he would get shot in his on apartment...Oh God!...

When Beckett heard Martha, her heart broke.

Beckett: Hey, guys. You're here. Do you have any news?

Esposito: Yeah. We have some good news. Luckly, Castle's building has cameras at the entrance and above his doors at his floor. We quickly found the guy who did it. He is in holdings right now, probably talking to his lawyer.

Beckett: You already got him? Why didn't you call me? I told you to keep me posted.

Ryan: Beckett, you were here. We wanted to get this guy before calling you. And since it was clear that he did it, and after we got the confession, we decided to come her and tell you in person.

Beckett: But I wanted to be there, to arrest him. To look him in the eyes and ask him why!

Esposito: Yeah, and you would probably do something stupid on the way. Like we don't know you.

Beckett: Fine...so...who is he and why did he do it?

Ryan: He has been stalking Castle for a while. His name is Joshua Markson. Apparently, he is in love with Castle and he wanted to go out on a date with him.

Esposito: But Castle turned him down every time. He would tell him he was to busy. And then he saw Castle going to dinner with his mother and daughter, and he saw he was spending time with you, he thought you two were together. He thought how Castle was different from others celebrities. But, after Castle turned him down he came to conclusion that he's just like every other celebritie.

Ryan: And in that moment he made a decidion to teach Castle and every other celebritie a lesson. So, he bought a gun, went to Castle's loft and shot him. He said that now Castle will think twice before turning his fans down.

Beckett: That bastard...

In that moment Alexis went out side Castle's room. She noticed that Ryan, Esposito and Lanie came. She looked at Beckett and said:

Alexis: You can go inside now, Kate.

Beckett: OK, thanks. Any of you guys want to see him?

Esposito: No.

Ryan: No, we'll see him later.

Lanie: Yeah, you go in now and we'll be here. When you get out then we'll go in.

Beckett: OK.

So she went in. Every time she went in that room she felt weak. She hated to see him like that. Lying on the bed, only sounds of the machines echoing in the room. She sat in the chair that was beside his bed and put her hand over his. She looked at him, hoping that he would wake up. In that moment he moved his head and opened his eyes. Beckett stood up and put her hand on his left cheek. He looked at her and smiled. She smiled at him as well, with tears falling down her cheeks. And then, he closed his eyes and he's heart stoped beating. The screen of his heart monitor was showing a flat line. No, no, this isn't happining, Beckett thought. Nurses came in runing into his room, calling for doctor Jordan and throwing Beckett out of the room. Everyone in the waiting room stud up when they saw nurses running at Castle's room and were in shock when they throw Beckett out of his room.

Martha: What is it?

Lanie: Kate, what happend?

Beckett: He's...he's heart stoped...He looked at me, smiled and then he closed his eyes...and stoped breathing...Oh, God!... Lanie...he stoped breathing!

As she was saying this to the people in the waiting room, Beckett got her back to the wall and slipped down, pulling her knees to her face and started to cry, again. Lanie went to her and hugged her. Alexis threw herself into her grandmothers arms. Ryan and Esposito only looked at each other, not knowing what to do.

All that Beckett could think about is that she was going to lose him. She was begging God to save him. She needed Castle. There were things she never told him. Things like that she loves him, that she needs him, that she didn't mean what she said yesterday, that her life would be empty without him, that his books helped her to get over her mothers murder etc. In that moment she decided, that if Castle survives, she will tell him that she loves him.

Doctor Jordan came out of Castle's room 15 minutes later. Everyone were sitting close to each other. Giving a support to one another. Everyone turned to the doctor and stud up.

Doctor Jordan: We were able to bring him back. He's not awake, but for now, he's not in danger. I'll come back in about an hour to check up on him. If he makes it for the next 6 hours, he should pull it thru. For now, only one in the room. Later, once he's awake more of you can go in.

Martha: Thank you doctor.

All they could do for next six hours was to wait. Beckett got back to the room and finished her shift. When she got out Esposito got inside. They continued the 30 minutes shifts, only this time, beside Alexis, Martha and Beckett; Ryan, Esposito and Lanie stayed. All six of them. In the waiting period, people came to visit them. Paula, Castle's agent came by, so did Gina. Alexis called Meredith to let her now, since Meredith was in LA. Even Beckett's father came. He heard it on the news that Richard Castle is in the hospital, in critical condition. After those 6 hours passed, doctor Jordan came to check on Castle, again. When he got out, he told them that Castle is stable and that they could all be in his room, witch is a lot bigger and comfortable then the waiting room. They all went to his room. Alexis and Martha were sitting on one side of his bed while Beckett was on the other side. Ryan, Esposito and Lanie took sits on the couch that was big enough to place 5 people. So, they all sat in silence. After two hours there was a nock on the door. It was Josh.

Josh: Hey, I came as soon as I heard. How is he?

Beckett: He's stable for now but he hasn't woke up yet.

Josh: Well, for what I heard he had thought one. He'll wake up, he just needs time to recover. Kate, can I talk to you, in private?

Beckett: Uhhmm...yeah, sure. Exuse me guys.

She stood up and went out side, going right behind Josh. He sat in the waiting room and motioned her to sit beside him. When she did he took her hand in his.

Josh: How are you doing Kate? I know he is your partner and that you care about him.

Beckett: I'm OK, really. I just want him to wake up, already. He's been out for a long time...I guess now I know how he felt when I was shot.

Josh: And how DO you feel?

Beckett: Hopeless...useless...guilty...

Josh: And why would you feel guilty?

Beckett: For what I told him the last time we talked. If we haven't fought that day, he wouldn't be home, alone. He would probably be with me at the precinct, working on the case we had. That way Markson wouldn't brake into his apartment and shot him.

Josh: You don't know that. Look, I don't think Castle holds anything againts you. Besides, if this guy...what you said...Markson made a decidion to shot Castle, maybe he would do it at the precinct or on the street when he was with you. Not to mention that knowing you, you would probably try to protect him and get yourself hurt...

Beckett: I wouldn't care. At least I would know that I did everything I could to protect him. Like he did numerous time for me.

In that moment Josh realised that Beckett loves Castle. Only someone who loves someone could say something like that. And would do something like that. Eventhought it hurted him, Josh decided to brake up with Beckett, knowing she would never be happy with him in the way she would be happy with Castle.

Josh: You love him, don't you?

Beckett: I...What?

Josh: Just tell me truth, Kate?

Beckett: Yes, I do...I love him.

Josh: I figured.

Beckett: Josh, I'm sorry. You're a great guy, you really are. And I really tried to work this between us, but...

Josh: It's OK, Kate. I understand. I had my suspicions of what you feel for him. I just got my answers, right? Look, Kate, I won't be on the way of your happines. Clearly he is what you want, and I can compite with that.

Beckett: Yes, he is. But what about you?

Josh: I'll be fine. I have my trips, my job...I'll manage somehow. This is it, I guess...Take care Kate. And I really hope you'll be with him.

Beckett: Yeah, I guess it is...I will...And I hope you'll find someone who is going to be there for you and with you. More then I did.

Josh simply nodded, hugged her and turned around. Beckett watched him go. He is going to make some women very happy, she thought. In that moment a nurse and Castle's doctor came into Castle's room. Beckett panicked and run into the room. She found everyone stannding near the couch looking at Castle's bed. Doctor and the nurse were over Castle. Beckett came to Martha.

Beckett: What is going on?

Martha: He woke up Kate! He woke up.

And she hugged her. Everyone hugged everyone. They were so happy that he finaly woke up.

After doctors finished examining Castle, they were finaly alone with him. Martha and Alexis ran to him. Esposito, Ryan, Lanie and Beckett came closer to the bed and were standing at the end of the bed.

Alexis: Dad, you finaly woke up. You got us worried.

Castle: I'm sorry, sweetie. I know I did, but I needed some time to rest from all off you.

He said that and gave them all a smile. As usuall he used his humor in intense situations. They were all smilling. He looked at Beckett. Everyone in the room noticed and they all exused themselfs and left. Some were going to the bathroom, some were going to eat something and some had some phone calls to make. Everyone except Beckett left. They knew that Castle and Beckett needed to talk. So they did them a favor and they all got out.

Castle: It's funny how all of them suddenly needed to be somewhere.

Beckett: Yeah...

She came closer to his bed. She took one of the chairs, pulled it closer to him and sat down taking his hand into hers.

Beckett: How are you feeling?

Castle: Well, thanks to the drugs I feel marvelous...I guess I feel good if you take the circumstances that put me in here...By the way, did you get him?

Beckett: Yes, we got him. Actually, Esposito and Ryan got him. I was here the whole time, but I told them to keep me posted. I wanted to be there when they arrest him. But guys wouldn't call me. They thought that I would make more problems. So, they handled it on their on. Imagine that.

Castle: Vau, they did it on their on? Now that's something you don't see every day, right?

Beckett: Hah, yeah...Castle...I'm so sorry! I didn't mean what I said yesterday...I was mad at myself and I took it all out on you...I'm sorry...

Castle: Don't Kate. You were probably right. I shouldn't have pushed you. It was clear that you had something on your mind and I shouldn't have insisted. I'm the one who's sorry.

Beckett: Castle, you have nothing to be sorry for...I'm the one that overstepped the line that day, not you...If I haven't, you probably wouldn't be here right now.

Castle: How's that? You couldn't know that this guy was going to shoot me. If I was with you, you could have got hurt, yourself.

Beckett: Well, at least I would be able to protect you...And this way, all I could do was sit and hope and pray that you make it, that you wake up.

Castle: Yes, but also you didn't end up in the hospital again. I don't think I could handle it again. So, stop putting this on you. There was nothing you could do, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Beckett: So, it is OK for you to risk your life for me, but not if I want to do the same for you?

Castle: Uhhmmm...yes?

Beckett: How's that OK, Rick?

Castle: Look, I don't want to fight with you OK? Not today. So, can we just drop it?

Beckett: No, Castle, it's not OK. I almost lost you, and I don't want curtain things to be unsaid between us. So, tell me how is OK for you to risk your life for me, and not OK the other way around?

Castle: God, Kate...I lo...I love you and your life is far more important then mine, OK? You catch bad people and put them behind bars. I...I'm just a writer, that's all.

He knew that he wouldn't be able to stop the talk they were having so he can just be honest with her. He knew that it's better to tell her how he really feels, even if it meant that he wouldn't be able to follow her anymore. He had enough researh for his books. Beckett smiled at him.

Beckett: It took you long enough.

Castle: UUhh...what?

Beckett: You finaly told me that you love me, again. I was wondering if I was going to hear it ever again.

Castle: Again?

Beckett: I heard you the first time you said it...when I was shot.

Castle: You did?...Why didn't you say something?

Beckett: I didn't know what to say. And you never said anything about is so I simply left it that way. But Castle, there is something I need to tell you, that you need to know.

Castle: Wait, Beckett. I think I know what you're going to say. That you're happy with Josh and that you don't have the same feelings for me...And I didn't tell you this to make you uncomfortable, I just...I wanted you to know. When I got shot all I could think was about you and how I never told you how I feel and...

Beckett: Rick, would you just stop talking and let me finish?

Castle: OK.

Beckett: As I was saying, there is something I need you to know...I love you too Rick. I have been for a quite time now...I was just to scared...And when I thought I was going to lose you, all I could think about is that you will never know that, that I love you. I knew you loved me, since I heard you say it, but I was too scared to tell you my feelings. I was to scared to let it go, to give us a chance.

Castle: Really? You're not saying that just because I got shot, are you?

Beckett: Really. No, you getting shot only made me realise that I need to stop being scared. That you never know what could happen tomorrow.

He pulled her hand closer to his face and kissed it slowly. Beckett got up so he wouldn't have to pull himself up. She ran thru his hair with her left hand. Castle closed his eyes as she did that. It made her smile. She slowly came closer to him, looking into his eyes witch were open now. She kissed him. Slowly, because she didn't want to hurt him. But there was so much passion between them and they wanted to show it thru their kisses. She pulled back and leaned her head on his forehead and smiled.

Beckett: I love you Rick.

Castle: I love you Kate.

Beckett: Oh, and one more thing. I don't want to hear you ever again saying that your life is useless. You have no idea how many people you help, you save and simply make them feel better with your books. Me included. Do I make myself clear?

Castle: Yes, ma'am!

And they went for another kiss. They were so occupied with each other that they haven't noticed the faces that were looking at them from the door. Lanie, Esposito, Ryan, Martha and Alexis were smilling and thinking Finaly!It took them long enough.