When Kali tells Suzaku where her spare key is, he decides to take it. He'd have thought more about this before the Requiem, but rationality makes no sense to him anymore. He figures her house has assumed the position of home in his mind. Home is an odd concept that Suzaku has never struggled with, easily accepting his tent and quarters, as long as they're a space of his own. Zero's plush rooms simply aren't his. He expects Lelouch to dig himself out of his shallow grave soon enough. He already thinks of Lelouch as a vampire- pale, immortal and ready to suck the world dry.
Kali never knew Lelouch in the mask. She's known only Suzaku, from the moment he first stumbled into Zero's headquarters hoping Kallen would kill him, not expecting a new controller from the Chinese Federation with a similar name. So Kali never expects Zero, just him, and he can be just Suzaku in her flat. He doesn't possess much and he never quite unpacks it. As far as stuff is concerned, her house is another diplomatic trip or surveillance mission. But his army journal lies in an empty shelf by her window, because it needs his space.
After a day of particularly excruciating meetings, he finds himself regretting Lelouch's death with a hint of humour. Suzaku figures it's time to honour the asshole for leaving an impulsive soldier with a life of mind-numbing politics. He asks Kali for a red pen and they spend half an hour looking for one, eventually turning up a flat marker. She eyes him curiously as he takes his journal out, flips through it backwards. He draws a single, thick line and labels it tidily, 'Lelouch'.
"What's that for?" Kali asks. When he doesn't respond, she grabs the journal, thumbs through it and finds pages upon pages of smudged black tally marks. The horror on her face is palpable. Maybe she's starting to think he's deranged; he thinks that sometimes. "Suzaku. What is this?" He shrugs. "Kills. My wrist gave in before I got to twenty-five million." He'd sat for hours, drawing lines and crossing them, on and on and on until his hand and head and heart all ached the same. Kali slams the book shut and orders, "Go sleep."
Sometimes when she's asleep, all Suzaku can see is her liquid black hair catching the minimal light. He lets himself imagine it's an obsidian river, the Lethe, sweeping away his memories and leaving him totally hollow inside. They rarely sleep in the same bed, but Kali seems on edge and he owes her. When he wakes up gasping in her couch, she sits on the cold floor by him, strokes his hair till slumber finds him again. But tonight it's Kali who seems fragile and unsettled, so he drowns himself in the Lethe for her. Loops of it slip through his blank fingers. The city outside her flat casts rushing highlights that the Lethe swallows instantaneously.
When the third car drives by, he realizes the dark lines under her top are too organized for scars. He slides the strap aside curiously, revealing abstract swirls that slowly come to resemble a woman with a trident. She wakes at his touch, buzzing "Hmm?" "You have a tattoo?" he asks. His surprise is genuine; he's lost himself in her before but never seen this. He can feel her smile in her words: "Kali, the Hindu goddess of destruction. I got it before everything happened, ironically." He digests this, trailing his fingers along her back and shoulder. "Don't you ever sleep?" she mutters, rolling over away from him.
He tries his best to do so and is faced with Euphie. "Suzaku," she says in her floating voice, with her pink hair swirling. She glides away from him slowly. He is paralyzed. "If you love me, you'll follow me, won't you?" she asks, tilting her head as she drifts away. He tries reaching for her but she's going too fast, there are shadows under her eyes and blood drips from her lips and she is falling, falling into inky darkness and he is screaming her name- "Suzaku, for god's sake wake up!"
He opens his eyes and it's not Euphie sitting beside him shaking his shoulder. For a moment he breathes in her chocolate skin and golden eyes and shiny black hair. She's the opposite of Euphie. No wonder he can find solace at her side. "The hell is going on?" she asks, and he just pulls her to himself, hiding in her like he did that first time on her corner, too drained to face Euphie and the world. Later, when her dark skin is catching the first sunlight, he wonders what sort of dysfunctional relationship he's gotten her into. Seized by guilt, he says, "Kali, I loved Euphie like a child. But that child's dead now, and I don't think I can ever love anybody like that again." She smiles. "Don't worry. I'm a woman, not a princess."
Her words sting and he isn't sure why. Suzaku can't even predict what hurts him or why. He just watches the edge of sunrise through Kali's curtains and lets the day roll in onto him. He can't fight any longer.
When Kallen invites them over at midnight, he figures something is up. He isn't sure whether to expect a bunny party or an assassination briefing, especially given that the crowd at both tends to be the same. The mask spares him the tedium of picking clothes appropriately. Kali doesn't seem to give a damn about costume, sticking with her woolen coat and dry expression. She drives a sleek car which purrs like a cat and suits her personality well, in Suzaku's opinion.
Kallen opens the door before they knock, holding an empty bottle marked 'Buy one, get one free'. She's wearing pajamas. Suzaku's going to point out that she could've told them about a pajama party when he hears the unmistakable snoring.
Kali snorts at the figure sprawled on Kallen's rug beside the free bottle. "I can't believe you accuse me of sleeping with a traitor," she says. Something inside Suzaku is saying you knew this would happen, but it doesn't stop the dread from filling his stomach.
Kallen's other guest is Gino Weinberg. Suzaku should've known she would pull this on him. She hates him more than enough. She hisses, "You're going to tell him- or I will." Zero says, "Kallen, I don't think this is a good idea." "Maybe you should try comforting him then, when he comes here and drinks till he forgets everyone he lost." "Does Zero even sleep in the mask? What a strange guy you are," says Gino, sitting up and smoothing his hair.
Suzaku has been avoiding Gino, making sure he's in important positions but away from Zero's sphere of influence. He's too scared that he'll be recognized and hated forever. Kallen is equally terrifying, though. She says "Gino, Zero here wants to tell you something." Gino is giggling and chattering in the background but Suzaku is closing his eyes and trying to empty his mind. Kali's been teaching him some tricks. He realizes that he wants to do this, consequences be damned. He is a reckless ball of fire in a cloak of darkness. His spirit is dust. He wants his old friend back irrationally but he doesn't understand rationality anyway.
Slowly, Suzaku slides off the mask.
For a moment everyone is silent. Then Kallen turns to Gino apologetically. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before." Gino is on his feet, speechless. Then he says, "You bastard. I should've guessed." So many things are swirling around in Suzaku's head that he can't distinguish what Gino's saying from all the possibilities. Kali takes his arm, lending support. "Gino…" Suzaku can't explain.
Then Gino strides forward, grabs Suzaku and lifts him clear off his feet, out of Kali's grip. Suzaku manages to mutter, "How am I the strange guy again?" Gino laughs, puts him down and twirls him around. Kallen is shooting Gino such disdain it's incredible that it hasn't killed him yet. But Gino is bubbly and irrepressible as ever. The two girls exchange glances and Kallen shrugs. "Maybe this is the future." Kali nods, watching their companions, and repeats, "The future."