Title: Pushing it

Summary: For as long as Shepard can remember she's always been pushing ahead trying to excel, trying to make things right. Despite the massive weight on her shoulders she keeps pushing on, but even sometimes heroes have to take a break.

A/N: Hey you guys! I'm new to the Mass Effect fanfiction universe, and well I want to see what I can do, the reviews are greatly appreciated.

Chapter 1: No rest

That loud ping from the M-920 as it collided with the weak point of the human larva Reaper was the only thing that flooded my ears. I remember telling myself to hold her steady, to aim as best as I possibly could straight at that giant's face. For a second as the nuke that fired from the heavy weapon went on a straight course with the Reaper I couldn't help but wonder, even if just for a second if they could somehow feel pain.

Everything registered so quickly. We all ducked down as it made impact, a large boom echoed through the area as the Reaper felt the force of the nuke. I guess saving this weapon for last was probably the best idea I had facing this thing.

There was a brilliance of red and orange, the colour of fire from the Reapers eyes as it made its whirring sound and tilted its head upwards. It burst from the chest as well, and I couldn't help but stare at it for a second. The Reaper's right arm moved upward as the fire seemed to move upwards from the chest to the shoulders, it looked like it was moving its arm forward wanting to do something before it fell.

I gasped for a moment hoping, that maybe, just maybe it wouldn't slam that massive hand of its into the platform in front of us, but to the horrible luck of me and my crew it looked like that was going to happen. As if timed stopped for a moment, to simply register in my mind what was to come my only main concern was that of two people, Jack and Tali.

And for a second that platform seemed stable, for a second I told myself that we could maybe just get out nicely. But as the platform broke I could hear the startled gasps by my crew as we all lost our footing. My heart was then caught in my throat as I saw the broken metal floor falling victim to brute force and gravity, and its intended bystander was pulled down as her helpless body slide along to certain death. Something snapped as I threw myself to that platform and outstretched my right hand.

Even for someone like Jack, someone so cold and psychotic fear crept up on her. 'C'mon! almost there!' I mentally yelled at myself feeling myself getting closer to her hand.

"Jack!" she had slipped from my grasp, but damn it all to hell I was not going to lose anyone else.

I gripped the biotic's hand tightly as my moment of opportunity came. I hoisted her up as she dangled from the edge of the broken metal. But no sooner had she helped pull herself I caught a faint glimpse of the human Reaper. It exploded.

'Oh shit…!' Things never were easy as they seemed. The blast knocked the platform we were on upwards and made the already weak platforms come crashing down. There was no time to try and keep ourselves leveled, the force of the blow was strong enough to knock us on our backs and simply just start to roll off. As the other platforms started to buckle from the explosion I looked up trying to get myself to stop and for a moment a smile formed on my face seeing the purple tinted mask of my other team mate. She stood up trying to get her balance.

No sooner had that happened as the platform started to fall with us on, not even a moment to spare as I got on my knees to try and stand a wayward platform knocked right into us. I remembered small things, feeling a weight come on top of me and hearing Jack and Tali's distraught yells.

Everything was black for a while. It was strange, in all the time I've been alive only two events so far had made me think of my life before the military. The mission on Akuze and the events leading up to this. Memories of their smiles and laughter and the smile of a happy family I thought had died on Akuze followed my mind as I stumbled to reach consciousness. My name, I heard my name being called out so sweetly, it was my mother's voice I was certain of it.

'Dear it's time to wake up,' I swore that is what I heard as I opened my eyes to see that I had my face on the metal floor. I pushed myself up, I could feel a weight on my back as a broken metal plate had rested so crudely on me. Getting up was a bit of a cinch and getting rid of that plate made me breathe a bit easier. It groaned as it met with more metal as I pushed it aside.

Looking to my left I noticed someone else and instinctively went over to them. I turned the body over to see it was my tattoo covered teammate. I swallowed the hard lump in my throat as my mind raced to inevitable. But it was as if that was enough to get her to wake up, her eyes shot open as she looked around almost in disbelief. I pulled her up and made sure she could stand before rushing over to my left. The metal on top of my good friend made my heart race as I gripped the edge of the debris tightly and lifted it up. Frantically my mind begged for sudden movement.

"Please…" I forced those words into a whisper.

It looked like she had just woken up from a nap as she stumbled upwards. I really wanted to playful put her into a head lock and tell her never to do that again, but we really had to get out of here. No sooner had she tried to get herself up that I pulled her up. We really needed to get out of here, it wasn't just the sinking feeling in my gut that told me either.

"Commander…! C'mon Shepard don't leave me hanging, do you copy?" I was so happy to hear Joker's voice on my speaker.

"I'm here Joker, did the ground team make it?" there was a sinking feeling in my stomach, I hoped to the deities out there that he proved me wrong.

There was a sigh on his end: "All survivors on board, we're just waiting for you."

I turned around as I pressed on the little communication device that was on my ear. My hand dropped to my side as the sound of wings came to my senses, no more than just one intake of breath did those swarms pop out. Our enemy still wasn't going to let us go. We had to survive even up to the end. No time for second guessing, everyone just seemed to know that we were gunning it out of there.

"Human, you've changed nothing."

I don't know if the others could hear it as I trying to blast the swarm with my pistol. I doubt they could, otherwise they would've made mention of it.

"Your species has the attention of those infinitely your greater… that which you know as Reapers are your salvation through destruction."

Each word that Reaper, Harbinger said rang loudly through my mind it echoed through each corridor that we ran through. It clawed at my thoughts as it sunk in, I tried to push it out as we ran for our lives, but it had to be heard by someone. In the opening in front of us were the remaining Collectors, they shot at us before we turned into a different direction. I glanced back once in a while to make sure Jack and Tali were up ahead of me, I didn't want them behind me at all. If it came to that decision I would sacrifice my life to make sure that they lived, that they made it to the Normandy.

'There it is!' I thought to myself, it was the entrance just ahead of us. The sound of the shots being fired from the Collectors weapons were drowning my thoughts.

The sight of Jack running towards the airborne Normandy gave me for a fraction of a second peace of mind. What I was not expecting was Joker appearing from the opening of the Normandy's airlock with an assault rifle. 'He really is that stubborn,' I thought to myself as we kept on running towards the ship. Bullets whizzed by as I heard the sound of the collectors falling. The base was crumbling faster as we reached the outside, debris was breaking things left and right, balance was being a bit of an issue but I had to press on.

Jack and Tali jumped on to the ship with no problem. 'Good,' I thought happily to myself as I began to sprint. Joker still was shooting down at the Collectors we had managed to pull along with us. The noises around me were deafening, I could feel my heart pounding in my ears as falling part of the base's roof collapsed the spot where Jack and Tali had managed to jump off easily.

"You can do it," I muttered to myself as I kept on going, as I kept on moving my legs to get within distance of that ship.

My feet pushed me off the ground and I found myself in the air, moving my arms in a forward motion, as if that would somehow help me get close to the opening of the ship's doorway. The only thing that I was starting at was the doorway, everything else was second. I could feel that sinking feeling in my stomach as gravity started to pull me down. The moment I felt my body collide with the metal of the ship gave me such a relief. I tried to pull myself up as I could hear the noise of the Collectors. Joker let out another barrage of bullets as Tali pulled me up. We were finally inside the ship within moments later as EDI started to do her countdown. I made it over to the cockpit with Joker.

"Yeah I get the gist of it EDI. Hold on!" Joker gave us some fair warning at least as he worked his magic making his way to helm.

I braced myself nearby Joker as I felt the ship increasing with speed. I never could get used to the sudden movement of this Collector's base was finally out, the explosion that I could see from the window as Joker did his best to keep us away from the fiery blast and the shockwave itself was something that gave me relief. At least if we didn't make it back, if we ever got hit by the blast, we stopped the Collectors with all that we had. I gripped the seat a bit before we made that one last jump.

Once being in the clear and after congratulating him, I let Joker know that there was something I had to do. As I made my way to the briefing room I could hear the crackle of the electricity. The Normandy with all her upgrades had taken a bit of a beating, but it wasn't too serious, at least no one had died a horrible death going to the base itself. Wires were strewn about as the panels from the roof had come down, and a support beam lay in front of me as I had reached my destination.

I sighed softly for a moment as I picked up the sides of the beam and moved it forcibly to the side of the doorway. It was time to give that Illusive Man a piece of my mind with this mission finally put to rest.

"Shepard, you're making a habit of costing me more than time and money." Oh Illusive Man how I wish I could punch you in the face sometimes, more often I'm resisting the urge to headbutt you.

"Too many lives were lost at that base. I'm not sorry it's gone," I said as calmly as I could.

"The first of many lives. The technology of that base could've secured human dominance in the galaxy, against the Reapers and beyond."

"Human dominance, or just Cerberus?" I asked feeling myself trying to get close to his face.

"Strength for Cerberus, is strength for every human," he got up from his chair as he said that, looking at me with these strange blue eyes as he seemed to move closer. "Cerberus is humanity. I should've known you would choke on the hard decisions, too idealistic from the start."

"I'm not looking for you approval. Harbinger is coming and he won't be alone," I could feel the anger rising a bit in my voice, it was hard trying to keep myself levelheaded with this. "Humanity needs a leader who's looking out for them. From now on I'm doing things my way, whether you agree or not."

It was hard trying to keep my face from smiling as those words came out of my mouth.

"Don't turn your back on me Shepard. I made you, I brought you back from the dead!"

"Joker, lose this channel," oh I didn't care if he could hear me, I wanted him too.

Walking out of that briefing room I could feel the smug smile on my face, oh by the gods did that feel great. But still there was still a lot of work to do, fixing the Normandy was a priority for this, she needed to be ready for the rest of the missions we would have ahead of us. Feeling as though the Illusive Man was finally off my back made me happy, not being tied down by a man I didn't trust, it felt good again to breathe freely.

But still regardless that we saved so many lives destroying the Collectors, I messed up. Walking down the hallways was so empty, it wasn't even funny. I missed Kelly's pleasant attitude, hell even Mess Sergeant Gardner. His cooking is something I will always miss, and his attitude too. I really wish things hadn't turned out that way, if anything I blame myself for it. Even going down to the engine room makes me cringe as I remembered Donnelly and Daniels.

Shepard sighed softly as she walked into her quarters, for once she could hear silence. She turned to her right and gazed at the little cage of her pet, the little space hamster she had bought at the Citadel. Believe it or not she found it as some kind of therapy picking up her little space hamster named Garr. The little hamster ran around her desk sniffing whatever it had access to, like papers and pens, another computer, things probably not suited for a pet.

For a moment Garr would sniff her hand and give it a gentle nibble with its teeth before scurrying around the desk again. Shepard nervously accessed her personal terminal, she was almost afraid to see the floods of e-mails probably from her father and mother and others about wanting something done about their problems.

She scrolled down carefully before feeling her brown eyes widen at something that peaked her interest. Garr gave a soft squeak as it felt its owner's hand stroke the fur on it.

"We're aware that your old friend Liara T'Soni has been hunting for the Shadow Broker for several years…" she bit down on her thumb for a moment as she continued to read the e-mail to herself. "So much for a breather," she pushed aside some strands of black hair.

After putting Garr back in his cage, she decided that first she needed to shower. Then possibly cook for herself or just stick to the rations, and lastly take a well deserved nap. It was to be expected, after all it does require a lot of energy to take out a Collector's base, and if anyone deserved a rest it was Shepard after all.

"I should probably check on everyone else too, I haven't exactly talked to them since we met down at the cargo area."

She was excited for the mission though, she was helping out a good friend who she hadn't seen in a while. If anything it would help her get her mind off things. The Commander knew eventually she'd have to tell somebody, but she had to put on a brave face, everyone expected her to be strong.