Title: Need You Now
Author: Megs
Disclaimer: I do NOT own All My Children or the characters; Bianca Montgomery, Miranda Montgomery, Gabrielle Williams-Montgomery, or Maggie Stone. I will stake claim to Leo Frances Stone. He is my original character. I also do not own the song Need You Now by Lady Antebellum.
Plot: Bianca's marriage fell apart before her eyes leaving her with two children and the responsibility of being a single mother. A chance sighting reminds her of the family she could have had.
Author's Note: Written for the One-Shot song fic Challenge over at the BAMboard.
Part 1 of 1
-2014-
Bianca found herself walking into the penthouse an hour earlier than expected. This unexpected break from work would have been one to celebrate with her daughters, had they been home.
Tonight was the second Friday of the month which meant Gabrielle would be spending the evening and weekend with Reese while Miranda slept over at a friend's home. So, she was alone.
With only a moment's thought Bianca dropped her briefcase onto the hardwood floor and deposited her keys in the bowl on the side table by the coat rack. If tonight she was alone, she would take time to relax. It had been another long quarter and now that all final reports and spreadsheets had been delivered and checked thrice, she could actually relax.
A nice soak in the hot tub sounds delightful. Bianca thought as she unbuttoned her suit jacket while walking towards the stairwell.
Fifteen minutes after walking through the doorway Bianca lowered herself into the warmth of the water, her hand easily finding the stem of her wineglass as she relaxed. As much as she missed her children and would love to be spending a lazy Friday evening with them it was nice to have a break. It was nice to relax and not worry about Miranda's schoolwork, the girls' soccer practices, play dates, tutoring sessions, and dance and music lessons. Tonight, she could allow her mind to wander to other subjects.
You know what subject you want to think about. Bianca's inner voice informed her and egged Bianca on to take a larger sip from her wineglass. That subject…that subject was also off limits.
Or it was until after her wonderfully blissful soak and half a wine bottle later she found herself searching through a box hidden at the back of a closet in the bedroom that had become a storage room after its inhabitant had moved out.
Here we are…
Bianca placed her wineglass with its third refill down on the floor as she found the photo album she had been looking for. With a quick blow and swipe she removed the dust that had collected on its surface. It had been a long while since she had come looking for it.
Picture perfect memories,
Scattered all around the floor.
Tonight was different. Tonight she didn't need to worry about the ramifications of opening the door to her past. The door that had remained covered with bricks and had blended into the wall Bianca hadn't dared walk past in years.
You know why you're here tonight though, don't you?
The voice was back. The one that had always given her the most flack for her cowardice when it came to what this album contained.
With another sip from her emptying wineglass Bianca opened the cover. She knew why she was brave enough to finally open this book. She knew why she could finally allow the demon within it out. She was no longer afraid of what she might feel if she opened it and allowed the demon to seep into her skin and soul once again.
Demon? Is that what she is now?
Bianca shook her head and felt a tear fall at the picture that was taped lovingly to the first page. There sat two friends smiling lovingly at one another while sitting in a Ferris wheel car. Bianca felt a tear fall as she ran her finger across the younger version of her own face.
God, how long had it been since she had smiled like that? How long had it been since she had laughed as much as she had that day?
Bianca closed the album and moved off the floor towards her office. This room, Bianca swept her eyes around it, this dark and dusty room with its boxes and stale air. It was just another part of her past that she had tried to forget, tried to block out. The memories that were in this room made her heart ache with their tenderness and love.
Once away from the room, photo album and glass of wine in hand she sat down on the couch in the middle of her office. She was careful to step around the box of crayons and the markers that littered the rug before the rug. She would make sure to pick them up later and have a word with Miranda and Gabrielle about keeping their things together.
Once settled on the couch and sure the memories of the other room couldn't impede her progress she opened the book once more. There, lying on the second page was one of the hardest images Bianca would ever have erasing. A picture of her two favorite girls, no, now it was only one of her favorite girls.
Miranda was sitting upon…Bianca shook her head and noticed as she brought her wineglass up to her lips that it was empty. Hadn't she just refilled it? Oh well, within a few minutes she had left the room and come back with her glass tipped off once again, and enough liquid courage to continue.
Where was she? Oh right, the picture of Miranda laughing as she was bounced up and down on M…Bianca coughed and shook her head for a moment.
Can you not even say her name?
"I can say her name!"
Prove it.
"Maggie. Her name is Maggie." Bianca let the name roll off her tongue and felt a familiar feeling of butterflies encase her stomach as she looked down at the captured image of her former love.
Bianca wiped at her eyes as tears fell. It seemed some of the dust from the album must have gotten into her eyes.
Liar…the voice taunted as Bianca turned page after page in the album, her tears slowly increasing as each image brought with it a buried memory.
With a slam Bianca closed the album and stood from her perch on the couch. She couldn't do this. She thought she could, but this was one walk down memory lane she could not handle. Not even now, after all these years. It still hurt.
You let her walk away.
"She walked away first!"
Bianca stormed over to the mantle and looked in the mirror. She didn't like what she saw. She wondered when had been the last time she had.
Reaching for the phone cause, I can't fight it any more.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
She went after you. You pushed her away. She tried. What did you do?
Bianca felt a familiar anger bubbling in her veins. Before she could stop herself the mantle was clear of the knick-knacks collected through the years as well as several action figures placed there during her daughters' games.
You think about her all the time. What she looks like, what form of medicine she went into. Who her friends are. If she still lives in Paris. Does she still have her unique fashion sense. You think about how she'd be with Miranda. If Miranda would recognize her if she saw her on the street, if you would recognize her on the street.
For me it happens all the time.
"Except, she does live here and I did recognize her."
Two days ago, she had seen the woman that made her heart race, fill with joy, and yet still break in half. The woman who's beauty still caused her to lose her breath so easily.
The years had been good to her. She had changed. Her hair was shorter, angled differently to her face and a chestnut color. It suited her, so did the smile and spark in her eyes as she bent down to pick up a little boy and spin him around in her arms.
It had been an accident. Bianca hadn't even known she still lived in Paris let alone Europe.
It had come as a surprise as she watched her spread kisses atop the squirming boy's face and laugh as the toddler begged her to stop it. "Stop it mamman, stop it…" He had begged as he halfheartedly tried to cover his face from his—Bianca took a deep breath—from his mother's kisses.
The trance that had captured her so easily at the mere sight of Maggie had only been broken when Gabrielle tugged on her mother's hand and asked who that woman was. Bianca had made an excuse and quickly walked away before Maggie's eyes could find her within the crowd of the park.
What would have happened if Miranda had been with you that day and not Gabrielle? Would Miranda have recognized her? Would she have made the decision you couldn't? Would she have had the courage to talk to her?
Bianca closed her eyes and sobbed as she fell to her knees, her fingers feebly holding onto the edge of the mantle.
"It's not fair…"
Isn't it? You didn't want to give her another chance, so you let her go. Did you think she would wait around for you forever?
"It means nothing. She's moved on. She has her own family. I don't…I won't take that from her. She let me go. I…I need to do the same."
Bianca opened her eyes and noticed the clock she had knocked down from the mantle. Fifteen after one.
God…how had the night gone by so fast?
With unsteady legs she picked herself up and moved through the penthouse to her bedroom. As she lay down and covered herself with a comforter her eyes found the phone that rest atop the bedside table. Against her own better judgment her hand moved towards it.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
The blaring ring of her telephone caused the doctors eyes to shoot open. With a groan as she noticed the time, twenty after one, she picked up the receiver.
"Hello?" Her voice was deep and husky and she cleared it quickly. "Hello?" There was no answer. "Look, you need to find someone else to call. You phone crazed per…"
The line went dead. Maggie sighed. With another groan she placed the receiver quickly back onto the cradle and rolled over in her bed.
Tonight was the third month that she had received a phone call from a blocked number. They always called at the same time, on the same day. The second Friday of the month at exactly 1:20. It was beginning to bother the doctor. Not that she had an early morning shift on Saturday, but the not knowing was beginning to eat away at her.
"Thanks for that…" Maggie cursed the unknown caller as she stretched across her bed and her hand found a short truffle of hair atop a small head to her left.
With a smile Maggie curled back up into bed and smiled as the smaller body curled back into her side. A thumb securely placed between sucking lips as the dirty blonde continued to sleep.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
Bianca cursed herself as she hung up the phone once again. This had been the third time she had tried to call Maggie. She didn't know what possessed her to do it every month but she couldn't help herself.
Perhaps it was the empty house. The way the quiet bothered her and let her think about all she could have had. The quiet that allowed memories of the liveliness that had once been abundant in this large space that now seemed dead. Without the sounds of her daughters laughter, hushed whispering, or bickering, it let her mind wonder. Wonder to a life that could have brought with it a fulfillment she had lacked for many years now. It made her wonder if that life was still attainable, even now.
It had taken her an entire month to find the courage to dial the numbers. Another month to stay on the line long enough for Maggie to even pick up the phone.
This month she had hoped she would have the courage to actually say something.
Except, she hadn't, she had chickened out, again.
With a sigh Bianca slipped down the hallway towards her bedroom.
This was the last time, she swore. Next month she wouldn't even bother to try. Next month she would make sure not to pick up another bottle of any kind of alcohol.
Next month she would drown her sorrows of a life no longer a possibility by going out and finding fulfillment out in the world. She would look for a new life, a new kind of fulfillment. She deserved it. She deserved to be happy. She deserved to find someone that could bring the joyous fulfillment Maggie once had. The joyous fulfillment Reese had found with her new partner, Allison.
Next month, she nodded. Next month she'd go look for that, elsewhere. She would stop calling Maggie, she swore.
It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk,
And I need you now.
Maggie rushed through her apartment and quickly picked up the phone.
"Doctor Stone speaking, how can I help you?" Maggie asked as she spun around and allowed the long cord attached to the phone to curl around her as she walked to the counter.
There was no answer, Maggie tilted her head. "Hello? Oh, Bonjour, Stone Médecin qui parle. Comment peux-je vous aider?"
"Mommy…" Maggie turned towards the doorway to the kitchen and saw her son pulling a bag full of frozen items across the floor into the kitchen.
Maggie placed the phone against her shoulder as she addressed her son. "Oh Leo, don't worry about that." Maggie moved over to pick up the bag her four year old son had pulled from the front door all the way into the kitchen.
"Peux-j'aller le jeu?" Maggie laughed and scooted her son out from the kitchen towards the living room where all his toys awaited him.
"Yes, go play." The boy didn't wait to be told twice as he rushed to pick up where he had left off with his game before he and his mother had gone shopping.
Maggie noticed as she turned to unpack her groceries that she still had the phone against her shoulder. "Oh, M'excuser, are you still there?" Maggie moved to rest the phone against her shoulder as she pulled the eggs out from the bag.
It took but only a moment for the voice on the other end to finally speak up.
"Maggie?"
Maggie froze, her hands going slack as the voice came through the phone. The cracking of eggs echoed through her kitchen as the doctor stood still, her heart racing. It couldn't be.
"Bianca?"
The doorbell rang and Maggie wondered how her peaceful day spent first at the park with Leo and then shopping had turned so hectic.
Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door.
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before.
"Maggie, are you still there?"
"I…" Maggie felt her heart race against her chest painfully as she looked around her kitchen.
"I get it!"
Maggie heard called out from the kitchen and rushed towards the kitchen entryway.
"Leonardo Franklin Stone, stop where you are this instant!" Maggie ordered and watched as the aforementioned child stop his progress towards the door.
He frowned and dropped his head down to his chest as he moved away from the door. He had only been trying to help.
"You know the rules."
Rules…funny that after 7 years the one rule Maggie thought had been presented to her was being broken by the woman on the other end of the phone.
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
"Yes…" Leo pouted as he recited the rule, "no open door."
"Right…" Maggie sighed as she ran her hand through her hair and looked at the phone in her hand.
"Bianca?" God…there must be something terribly wrong for Bianca to be getting in contact with her now. "Is everything alright? Are you okay? What about Miranda and Gabrielle? Your mother? Your sister? Can I…"
"Maggie, Maggie slow down."
Maggie wished she knew how to but when it came to Bianca, everything just seemed to leave her on edge. Even after all these years.
"Everyone's fine." Bianca's amusement at her immediate assumption that something was wrong rang through clear but there was also an awe within the younger woman's voice as well.
Maggie released a breath she hadn't known she was holding in. "Oh thank god…" Maggie moved to the nearest chair and sank into it.
Then, if everyone was fine, that begged the question, what was Bianca doing calling her?
"Why are you calling?"
"I…" Bianca cleared her throat. "I may have had a few drinks."
Yes I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all.
It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now.
Maggie sighed, "So you decided to call me?" Then… "How did you get my number?"
"I've had it for months. Tried calling a few times too. Never could say anything."
Maggie eyes widened. The one AM calls, they had been from Bianca? "You were my phone stalker?"
Bianca laughed, "That would be me. The pervert that called you at 1:15 in the morning."
"1:20," Maggie corrected.
"Oh well, I picked up the phone at 1:15." Bianca explained although the explanation wasn't needed.
"Were you drunk then too?"
"Yes," Bianca admitted with a sigh. "I'm not now though."
"No? Then what are you doing calling?"
"I…" Bianca sighed on the other end of the phone. "I needed to hear your voice."
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now.
"Are you sure you're not drunk?" Maggie accused gently.
"Well, maybe just a little."
Maggie rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair, her eyes watching as Leo stood up from his seated kneeling position before the armchair were most of his action figures were stationed.
"I'm sorry."
Maggie's eyes tore away from her son's standing figure towards the phone in her hand. Had she just heard right?
"Sorry?"
"For everything."
Everything…she was sorry for everything.
"I am too." Maggie sighed, as silly as it was even after all this time, it felt wonderful to hear Bianca's voice.
"I've missed you, Maggie."
Maggie wondered if Bianca only missed her because she was no longer seen around town with her latest girlfriend. Was that what she was? Bianca's rebound girl? When things didn't work out with her current girlfriends, would she get a phone call? If so, she would put an end to this right now. She had a life that did not revolve around Bianca. She had a son that she loved far more than she ever thought she could love anyone.
"Bianca…"
"I'm not calling to ask you for anything." Bianca quickly explained, hearing the tone in Maggie's voice, knowing it would inevitably lead to the end of this phone call sooner then she had hoped.
"I just, I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry and that I miss you. No strings. I just wanted to let you know that…" Bianca wiped at her eyes as she sighed, attempting to keep Maggie from knowing the tears that fell were for all the pain she felt and had inevitably caused by pushing Maggie away. "…I wanted you to know that I think about you." All the time.
"Bianca…" Maggie shook her head and quickly moved to wipe away a tear that fell from her eye. God…how could Bianca still affect her so? "I don't know what to say to that."
Obviously, Bianca had been hoping for anything but that.
She doesn't think about you.
"I…" Bianca sucked in a deep breath of air. She would finish this call and never call back again. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called. Goodbye, Maggie."
"Wait, Bianca…" Maggie sighed as she listened to the dial tone.
Fuck…Maggie threw the phone against the wall and ran her hands through her hair and tugged on the short locks tightly.
"I think about you too." Maggie whispered she remained bent over, her elbows resting on her knees as her hair was tugged in an attempt to numb the pain searing in her chest.
Tears that she hadn't let fall in years streaked down her cheek. A sorrow that she had buried deep inside years ago resurfaced and brought with it memories of a life she had done her best to build over. A life with Bianca and Miranda, a life full of love and joy. A life she had ruined with one stupid mistake.
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
That life was over now though. It had been seven long years since she had even seen Bianca, almost eight since she had seen Miranda with her own eyes. The photographs of the two together on the covers of magazines and tabloids did not count.
Seven years, seven years and Bianca tried to contact her, and what did she do? She pushed her away. Maggie shook her head as her tears continued to fall. Were they destined to push the other away whenever they tried to be brave and push forward? Maggie couldn't help but think so.
"Mommy look!" Maggie's eyes quickly moved to see her son standing in the doorway to the kitchen with a large box in his hands.
Maggie quickly moved over to her son and took the box from him.
"What did I tell you about opening the door?" Maggie gently scolded as she kneeled before her son.
"I not do it. It come through slot." He pointed towards the door to the apartment and smiled. Then he noticed the tears on his mother's cheeks. "Mommy, why cryin'?" Leo asked as he used his small hand to wipe away the tears that were falling down his mother's cheeks. "You okay?"
"I'm fine, buddy." Maggie took the hand that had so gently smoothed away her tears and kissed it. "I'm fine. Just got a little sad is all."
"Otay, you sure?" Maggie smiled and nodded her head. "Good…" His bubbly personality was back as his eyes fixed themselves on the box beside his mother. "Wha is it?"
Maggie laughed as she stood from the floor and sat in the chair next to her son, and placed the box on the table. "I don't know let's find out shall we?"
"Yea…" The boy exclaimed as he clapped his hands and moved towards the kitchen table.
Leo moved to sit on his knees on the chair next to his mother's so he could peer down at the box. In his eyes lay an excitement and wonderment only a child's could have at the sight of a package.
Maggie moved to the utensil draw to grab a knife to open the box, and noticed that she had yet to put away the groceries or clean up the broken eggs on the floor. Looks like I have my work cut out for me later. Maggie thought as she moved back to the table and her over eager son.
"Hurry, hurry…"
"I'm coming, hold your horses." Maggie mussed up Leo's slightly long dirty blonde locks and reminded herself to set up an appointment to get them cut.
When Maggie opened the box and placed the knife as far away from Leo as it could go, she could only watch as he eagerly grabbed a hand full of the packing material and scattered them throughout the kitchen. Throwing most of them over his shoulder to the floor, she sighed. She would have a lot more cleaning to do after this.
It wasn't until the item within the box came into view did Maggie's breath catch.
"Wha is it, mommy?" Leo asked as he lifted the large purple book from the box and placed it on the table. "It heavy…" He explained as he continued to examine the cover. There was writing on it.
"Mommy, wha it say?" He peered up at his mother and noticed that she seemed upset again, there were tears falling. "It says 'our family'." Maggie read as she fell heavily into her chair, eyes fixed on the gold etched writing on the purple cover. With a shaking hand she traced over the words and felt tears fall in abundance.
"Mommy?" He asked gently as he moved to sit on her lap quickly. Once he had his small arms wrapped around his mother's neck he waited.
He watched from his position in his mother's lap as she opened the book and looked at all the pictures. He smiled at a few of the pictures. "That you." He explained as he pointed to the picture of his mother lying down in the grass.
"That's me…" Maggie intoned as she turned the pages, each one bringing with it memories of a family she had left behind years ago.
"Who they?" Leo asked as he moved to lean against the edge of the table, eyes trained on the pictures of a little girl and another woman with his mother.
"That's Miranda…"
Maggie pointed to the picture of a smiling three year old holding onto a stuffed animal. She turned the page and found a picture of Bianca and Miranda curled up together on the couch sleeping. Maggie remembered taking this photograph only a month before everything had gone to hell.
"And that woman holding her is her mother, Bianca. They…they were my family." Before…
"Where am I?" he asked as he himself started to turn the pages in the book.
"You weren't born yet, buddy."
"Oh…" Leo nodded as he turned a few more pages, a frown slowly mirroring his face. He came to the last page of the book and bounced in his mother's lap. "No, mommy look!" He pointed and tapped at the photograph on the last page. "There I am…look!"
Maggie looked at the picture and gasped. There was a photograph of the two of them sitting on a bench in the park together, Maggie whipping chocolate ice cream off of Leo's face. Another one was of Leo himself as he chased after a duck, arms outstretched as he ran. That had only been a month ago. She remembered because the outfit Leo was wearing had been ruined when he tripped while running after that duck and ripped a hole through his pant leg.
"Yes, that is you."
Maggie looked at the top of the page and smiled as it read 'Our New Families'.
The page before theirs was a picture of Bianca with Gabrielle and Miranda sitting on either one of her legs, all three women smiling brilliantly at the camera. Across the bottom of the pages was a message Maggie felt pull at her heartstrings.
"What is say, mommy?" Leo asked as he pointed to the message across the bottom page.
"Could what used to be, be again?" Maggie read aloud and wrapped her arms tightly around her son.
Leo looked up at his mother and smiled. "Can it, mommy?"
"I…" Maggie cleared her throat. "I don't know baby."
Leo sighed, "You look happy." He mentioned as he began to turn back the pages of the book.
"I'm happy now." Maggie reassured.
"I know." Leo nodded as he smiled and ran his hand over the pictures of the smiling faces. "They look happy too."
"We were."
"Thens…can we be happy 'ogether?"
Maggie opened her mouth to answer but before she could the phone rang. Leo jumped off of her lap and ran into the living room. He grabbed the phone off the receiver before Maggie could even stand from her chair.
"Leonardo Franklin Stone speaking…" He recited happily into the phone. "Uh huh…otay." Leo put the phone on the couch and turned towards the kitchen. "Mommy it for you!" He yelled before moving to play with his forgotten action figures.
Maggie laughed as she moved into the living room and picked up the cordless phone Leo had discarded on the couch. "Hello…"
"You named him after them."
Maggie smiled, "Bianca…twice in one day. Someone might think you actually liked me."
"They'd be wrong." Maggie's heart constricted. "I don't like you. I love you."
"Oh Bianca…why are you doing this?" Maggie sat down on the couch, her eyes covered by her hand.
"I need you, Maggie. I want you back in my life. Anyway I can have you. Please…"
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.
"I…" Maggie took a deep breath and with her eyes trained on her smiling son she told the truth. To hell with what it cost her. "I don't need you anymore, Bianca." Maggie heard the gasp on the other end of the line and quickly continued. "I miss you though. I miss my best friend."
Bianca laughed lightly on the other end of the line, relieved. "Then…what do we do now?"
"How about lunch? Have you eaten?" Maggie took another chance. Hoping that she would be rewarded for it.
"No, we haven't." We…Maggie smiled.
"We were just about to have ourselves some grilled cheese sandwiches and soup. Would you like to join us?"
"We'd love to, wouldn't we girls?"
"Yeah…" Maggie heard the chorus and smiled. "Hi Maggie!"
Oh god… "Hi Miranda…Gabrielle."
"I miss you Maggie…"
Maggie grabbed at her heart. "Oh honey I've missed you too. You and your mother."
"We see you soon right?"
"That's right."
"Awesome. I have to go get ready. Bye Maggie."
"Bye honey…" when Maggie was sure they were gone she spoke up again. "Bianca, please, don't do this to me if you're going to…"
"Did you like the book?"
The book? What? "Yes I…Bianca I don't understand."
"Can it be again Maggie?"
"Yes…it can." Maggie replied. "But there's a lot to work through. A lot to talk about…I…"
"I'm ready for that. I am, if you are."
"Mommy look…" Leo beaconed from his armchair with a bright smile.
"We are."
Bianca smiled and let out a breath she hadn't been aware she was holding in. "We'll see you soon, then."
"Yes, we will."
Maggie quickly spoke up. "Oh and Bianca?"
"Yes…" Bianca turned back to the phone with a smile.
"I think about you all the time too."
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind.
For me it happens all the time.
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now
I just need you now.
Oh baby I need you now.
THE END