To follow along, listen to the Kaepora Gaebora theme song ( watch?v=zxsh62cJs6Q) while reading this. You'll get why the Duns are there...
The Owl of Evil
Dun
Dun, Dun
Dun!
Dun!
A bumbling whisper, something to ignore when adventure was at his fingertips. Green grass before him, the ramblings got louder with every step. Coincidence or fate, Link's head shot up, bright and innocent eyes spying the Owl perched above, squawking to be anything but ignored.
Dun
Dun, Dun
Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun.
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun.
Link was growing slightly annoyed, he had stuff to get done today, not next week. The Owl wasn't giving very good advice, hopefully he could just tune him out.
Dun
Dun, Dun
Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun.
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun
Dun, Dun.
Finding it impossible to pay attention, Link found himself lost in the blueness of the sky. Clouds lazily drifted with the wind as Link picked out shapes in their fluffy goodness. Mostly puffs and blobs. "Wait, does that one look like an owl? Oh dear, is it still talking?"
Dun
Dun, Dun
Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun.
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun.
Minutes or hours, either way it was dreadfully boring, Link began to question his sanity and purpose. Why was he talking to an owl of all things?
Dun
Dun, Dun
Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun.
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun
Dun, Dun.
He was just going on and on and on. Link wasn't even sure the Owl was talking to him anymore, he just seemed lost in his own little world of sentences and paragraphs. With its head bobbling up and down, Link couldn't even figure out what the Owl was looking at.
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun.
Maybe the lonely critter wouldn't notice if Link slowly slipped away. Inching his way under the branch, with each step Link could feel his everlasting freedom. Then with a flash, the round and evil eyes of the Owl glared with a devil-stricken malice that dared to haunt even a graveyard. Link wasn't getting away that easily.
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun.
As the conversation droned on, Link realized he needed to eat before taking the castle. With hunger rumbling in his stomach, he soon saw the Owl in a different light.
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun
Dun
Dun, Dun
Dun, Dun, Dun.
As Link twirled the turning spit, the Owl asked, "Would you like me to repeat that?" – The Owl's own death sentence. Link stabbed the Owl with his fork, shouting, "NEVER!"
Disclaimer: Ah, you think you wouldn't hear this, eh? Well, now...I do own Link. I stole him. Well, he kinda had to be stolen. Kaepora Gaebora is, after all, the owl of evil.