A man in a well tailored suit with a matching fedora sitting atop his well combed hair suddenly appeared on the edges of inkwell isle, a small notebook and pencil held in one hand while a brief case occupied the other.
There was no explosion, no puff of smoke, nothing to announce his arrival. It was as if the man had just spawned out of thin air.
Looking down at the handwritten instructions on his notepad that he had received, the man kept a stoic look. This wasn't the type of assignment he was usually given but he had his orders, not that he was complaining mind you; Inkwell Isle was one of the more pleasant locales he has visited over the years and it wasn't to deliver the standard bad news for a change.
No, the man upstairs simply wanted him to conduct a series of interviews with the isle's inhabitants; he had become concerned over his downstairs counterpart's sudden rise in power and an investigation had revealed the latter had been using illegal means to obtain souls, however when the man's superiors arrived to deal with the freak in question it had appeared as though somebody had literally beaten them to the punch since he was found on the ground battered and bruised, which was fine as it meant less paperwork for everyone.
The point is that the man's boss wanted to figure out exactly what someone would have to be willing to sell their immortal souls in exchange for, possibly to prevent such a situation from ever occurring again or possibly to satiate his own curiosity (contrary to popular belief he is neither all seeing nor all knowing, he is just the highest authority in all reality.), either way he was here now and had a job to do and a schedule to keep.
Flipping over to the next page the man came across a long list of various names, no doubt the creatures that had sold their souls without realizing the consequences of doing so, accompanied by a map with a marked location corresponding to each name as well as one marking his own starting location (they wouldn't want him to get lost after all); fumbling with it for a moment he found that he was on the first of three isles, the most rural area which fit him just fine as he always had a penchant for the countryside.
"Alright now let's see here, who's going to be first…..hmmm, The Root Pack appears to be the closest to my location. I might as well make them the first interviewee." said the man before folding up his pocket notebook and trudging through the forests.
Following the directions to a T, the man eventually came to a clearing with a gated garden; well garden didn't really do it justice as it was more akin to a farm in terms of size, hundreds of rows of various vegetables stretched across with dozens of bountiful fruit trees hanging overhead, the way the plants seemed to glisten in the light greatly reminded the man of the garden the company had back home only theirs was far bigger.
Spying a cowbell hanging from the top of the entrance archway, the man decided to give it a ring in hopes of getting the attention of the owners; they had to be the root pack right?
He did not have to wait long as something burrowed over to his location and burst forth from the ground in a shower of dirt and mud, luckily he was quick enough to avoid the collateral and none of it got on his suit.
"Oh hello, can I help you with something?"
The man froze for a split second, while the employee training manual stressed that they would encounter a wide variety of strange creatures during their job and the man himself had beared witness to a good majority of them; he had yet to see a giant, talking onion the size of a toolshed.
But the man was a professional, if nothing else, and quickly regained his composure to address the vegetable.
"greetings, do you know where I would be able to find the root pack at this time?" said the man
"You mean me and my brothers?" said the onion.
"If you all make up The Root Pack then yes, I do. I need to speak with them urgently." replied the man.
"A-alright, I suppose you can come in." said the onion, opening the gate "my name's Weepy by the way."
"C.J. Moldenhauer" the man replied.
In hindsight he probably should have expected Weepy's brothers to be more giant talking vegetables, but he would not expect the amount of hostility that he received from the two when he first approached them.
"Just what's your game old man?" said the potato referred to as Moe Tato.
"There is no game, . I have been given a job and I merely intend to carry it out."
"Moe don't be rude, we could at least hear him out." said the carrot.
"Thank you mr…." said Moldenhauer.
"Psycarrot."
"Right . See my employer has sent me down to Inkwell Isle to conduct an interview with the various inhabitants regarding a certain incident that has recently occurred here." explained moldenhauer. "It would only take a few moments of your time and once complete I shall be on my way."
"What incident?" asked Moe Tato.
Moldenhauer pulled out his notepad. "Well according to my notes, the three of you unknowingly signed over your souls to a certain demon approximately one week ago, is that correct?"
Silence hung in the air as The Root Pack glanced at each other nervously and huddled together, murmuring amongst themselves while occasionally peaking at the dapper man. Once they broke away, Psycarrot addressed him.
"Yeah that's right, what about it?"
"Why?" said Moldenhauer.
"Why?" repeated Weepy
"Yes, why. As in, why did you give up your souls to him? What was worth eternal damnation to you?" said Moldenhauer. "Please understand that this isn't any sort of trick, I am merely obtaining data for my superiors. It is unlikely that anything that involves you in the future will become of this, regardless I am not leaving here without a proper answer from you all."
"Oh yeah? And just how do we know we can trust you?" said Moe Tato, making a sweeping motion with his arms.
Unfortunately the potato swept too wide and ended up backhanding his carrot brother standing behind him.
"Hey! Watch it you dirt-for-brains!" said Psycarrot, jamming two fingers towards the middle child, only for the potato to duck and Psycarrot's fingers nailing Weepy's eyes.
"OW! Why I oughta!" said Weepy swinging a fist towards the eldest of the group, only for it to klonk onto Moe Tato's head when he popped back up.
"A wise guy eh?" Said Moe Tato said, slapping his younger brother in the forehead.
Psycarrot intervened almost immediately by grabbing Moe Tato's cheek and pulling hard. "Hey you leave him alone!"
The brothers soon broke out into a full slapstick brawl filled with comedic bonks on the head and poked our eyes.
"Gentlemen. GENTLEMEN!" Shouted Moldenhauer, stopping the family feud almost immediately.
"While I can't say I don't find such a spectacle amusing, I do have a schedule to keep so could you all please give me an answer?"
"He's right, spread out boys." Said Psycarrot, releasing Moe Tato's nose. "Now I don't see the harm in telling the man what our business with the casino was, he seems trustworthy enough."
"Thank you, now where would you like to begin?" Said Moldenhauer, readying his notepad
"Well it was about a month ago, before this whole soul contract business started, and believe it or not our garden wasn't as green as it is now…." said the eldest of The Root Pack, beginning his tale.
Psycarrot dug his hands into the soil of the garden, picking up a clod and rubbing it between his fingers with a frown. It was still just as dry and useless as it was last week, and the week before that, and the week before that.
Things had been rough for the brothers ever since Betty Beet had passed away, with Moe Tato not being the brightest bulb and Weepy being well….Weepy, the responsibilities of taking care of the farm and family had fell on the shoulders of the eldest child who was burning the candle at both ends trying to manage everything.
At first it was smooth sailing, selling enough produce to put food on the table and making sure Weepy was tucked in every night with his teddy bear amongst other things. But soon the physical exhaustion began to take it's toll and even with his mental powers, he couldn't keep up with the demands of being the responsible sibling. It only got worse when they started to go through one of the longest droughts they had ever experienced, the trio had food stored up for emergency situations like this, however as the weeks dragged on those supplies started to dwindle to the point where they were down to nothing but crumbs. In addition, the produce was their sole source of income and the fact that they could barely grow anything meant money wasn't coming in which meant bills began to pile up which made it even more difficult to keep themselves fed.
And it quickly began to show as the brothers began to waste away, Weepy's skin began to turn gray and he lost most of his adorable chubbiness, black spots began to form on Moe Tato and worms that were once his friends started eating away at him, and poor Psycarrot grew weak and frail to the point where even a light breeze could knock him over.
This all reached it's breaking point one fateful night after another megar harvest left them flat broke.
The trio had sat down for their evening dinner consisting of stone soup, for those who don't know stone soup is essentially a soup that is made up of a mixture of whatever ingredients an individual has on them at the time which was really all Psycarrot could prepare at the moment, normally the eldest sibling would use his strange powers to levitate the bowls to his brothers but he had become so feeble that he was forced to use his arms.
"Here ya go fellas, hope yer hungry." said Psycarrot weakly.
"What? Stone soup again? Can't we have something else?" said Moe Tato
"We've been over this before Moe, we have to make do with what we have."
"We've been making do for weeks now Psy, when are things gonna change?"
"Don't you start with me." said Psycarrot "I don't control how our garden grows."
"Maybe if you worked a little harder at it, you might be able to grow something out of the dust" Moe Tato shot back.
That struck a nerve.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK I'VE BEEN DOING?!" snapped Psycarrot "YOU THINK IT'S EASY KEEPING THIS PLACE IN SHAPE, KEEPING YOU TWO NINCOMPOOPS FROM TEARING INTO EACH OTHER?! I'VE BEEN BREAKING MY BACK TO KEEP YOU TWO FED AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET?!"
"Please, ever since you've been put in charge this place has been going downhill." said Moe Tato. "I liked it better when Betty was still-
Psycarrot smacked his brother across the face. "You don't think I miss her too?! Do you know how hard it was to deal with her death on top of everything else, to cheer Weepy up when she wasn't around to do it, to make sure the garden was tended to? I had to be the responsible one, I had to pick up the slack because neither of you two could!"
Moe Tato punched his brother in retaliation "oh and what a fine job you've been doing! We're all starving to death and are probably going to lose our home when winter rolls around"
Landing another blow into his brother's gut, Psycarrot and Moe Tato began to fight; and not the normal slapstick tussles that were so familiar with them, this was a REAL fight with black eyes and spilt blood.
All the while Weepy was quietly sipping his soup, trying to ignore his siblings' squabbling like a child with parents on the verge of divorce but as the anger in the air grew it became too much for the little onion and he slammed his spoon down onto the table as hard as he could, getting the attention of both of his older brothers.
"WILL YOU TWO STOP IT!" Weepy screamed as hot tears ran down his face "YOU'RE-YOU'RE TEARING THIS FAMILY APART!" with that the youngest of the root pack ran off to his room crying.
"Oh well now look what you've done!" said Moe Tato "you made Weepy cry!"
"Me?! You're the one who started complaining about the food!"
"Well if you could actually provide for your brothers then none of this would have happened! Now if you'll excuse me I've got to go comfort our dear old brother!" said Moe Tato, storming off.
Steam began to pour out of Psycarrot's ears "YOU-YOU-YOU! GAH! THAT'S IT, I'M GOING OUT!", the eldest sibling grabbed his coin pouch and left their burrow without any idea of where he would go.
"Another beer." slurred Psycarrot.
"I dunno buddy *hic* don't you think you've had enough? *hic*" said Whiskey
"I'll tell you when I've had enough!" said Psycarrot.
"Alright then" the bartender replied, pouring the vegetable another drink which he quickly tossed to the back of his throat.
Psycarrot had wandered into the Devil's Casino through the shroud of the night and figured that the best way to deal with the pain he was going through right now was a good stiff drink or five.
Psycarrot then began to massage his temples in frustration "oh where did it all go wrong, I miss the good ol' days when we always had enough to eat and weren't fighting all the time. Why can't things just go back to the way they were when we were kids?"
"Rough day pal?"
Psycarrot looked up to see a man in a dapper purple tux with a dice for a head sitting on the stool next to him, shuffling some cards in his hands.
"You don't know the half of it…." replied Psycarrot, taking another sip of beer. "One moment everything is peaches and cream and the next you're dragging yourself through the mud to keep yourself alive."
"Care to talk about it?" the man replied.
"Well, it all started back when my dear old mother died…." said Psycarrot, explaining to the man how tough times have been hitting him and his entire family and to his credit, the dapper man seemed to be hanging on every word.
"And now I'm here trying to drink the pain away."
"Hmmm, sounds like you three have got yourselves in quite the pickle. Lucky for you I know somebody who might be able to help you out." the man said, standing up and tucking the deck into his sleeve.
"Really?" said Psycarrot as he abandoned his drink "gee thanks mister."
The man grabbed the overgrown carrot by the wrist and led him over to the elevators "please, call me King Dice."
"Problems with yer livelyhood eh? Well you certainly came to the right place." said the furry demon that sat across from Psycarrot.
The eldest of The Root Pack certainly didn't expect that the person who King Dice told him about to be the Devil himself, he had always heard rumors swirling around but he'd never imagine he'd meet the demon face to face.
"S-so you can help us?" asked Psycarrot, understandably nervous.
"Of course I can, not for free of course but we can get to that later; Dice, please get the standard wish contract." said the Devil as he puffed his cigar.
"Right away boss." King Dice replied.
The Devil then turned towards Psycarrot and opened up a small box sitting on his desk.
"Cigar?"
"No thanks I don't smoke." said Psycarrot.
"Suit yerself." said the Devil, putting out his current smoke into an ashtray and lighting up a new one immediately after.
King Dice came back into the room shortly after and laid the contract out onto the desk.
"How does this help me?" asked Psycarrot.
"It's simple kid, all you have to do is sign on the dotted line at the bottom; doing so means you accept my help with whatever problems that might be plaguing ya in return for a modest fee." the Devil explained.
"So could you help my garden grow?"
The Devil let out an unsettling laugh "oh please, when it comes to granting wishes there is no limit on price, size, or even the laws of reality. All you gotta do is be willing to pay when the time comes, you and your brothers both."
That made Psycarrot stop for a moment "my brothers?"
"Well yeah, the three of you share that garden don't ya? Means you have to have equal stakes in the contract, don't worry with you being the oldest and all means you can basically sign for them here and now with no trouble."
"Besides think of it this way:" King Dice interjected "either you can keep suffering the way you are now until you all eventually starve to death or you could just sign this little number and watch as all your woes disappear before yer very eyes. Your choice."
If Psycarrot wasn't still buzzed from all the alcohol in his system it might have occurred to him to actually read the terms of the contract before signing it, unfortunately this was not the case and the idea of having a happy family again was something he couldn't resist. He quickly plucked up a pen and put his signature down into the parchment, sealing his fate.
"Splendid, you made the right decision kid." Said the Devil with a glint in his eyes.
"What can I say? It's getting desperate for us, anyway what do I owe ya?" Said Psycarrot
"Forget about that, you just go home and get some rest. We'll collect on your payment later." Said the Devil "King Dice, would ya mind escorting our guest out?"
"Of course boss, c'mon pal the exit's this way." Said King Dice, taking Psycarrot by the hand again.
The carrot eventually managed to stumble back home under the light of the waxing moon, sinking back into the spot of land that made up their burrow.
Seeing that his brothers were already fast asleep in bed, he decided to join them in dreamland. was calling his name.
'I really hope he can make things better' Psycarrot thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep.
Psycarrot popped out the ground bright and early the next morning like he always did. Better to get a head start on the morning chores than sleep the day away...like…a….
The carrot had to rub all three of his eyes and then pinch himself to make sure he wasn't seeing things.
The once barren landscape that made up their garden was now covered with lush, green plant life. All manner of veggies sprouted from the ground and glowing fruit hung from the trees.
When Psycarrot scooped up some of the soil he found that it was moist and soft, perfect for growing food.
He didn't know how it was possible, but somehow the Devil had breathed new life into the garden; he was right, all their problems were solved!
Moe Tato soon popped up beside his brother with a yawn.
"Hey psy, what are we doing to-WOAH! What happened here?!" The potato said in amazement "HEY WEEPY! COME SEE THIS!"
Once he saw how much their garden had flourished seemingly overnight, Weepy let out a joyous squeal.
"Does this mean no more stone soup?" asked the youngest of the trio
"Sure does, but only if we get to work now. There's a lot to be plucked out here, so get to it you two!" said Psycarrot enthusiastically
Moe Tato held his brother back with a certain sternness found in middle children. "Hold it right there. Don't think I forgot about last night Psy, I'll start when I'm ready."
Psycarrot just looked at his brother with a raised eyebrow. "Are you ready?"
"Yeah I'm ready" said Moe Tato as he got to work, while he may not have seemed like the type, the middle child of the root pack wasn't one to hold a grudge.
Over the course of the week everything was just fine and dandy for The Root Pack, it seemed like even the produce itself was enchanted as their customers raved about how the flavors were even better than before which of course drummed up more business for the farm and with all the money they were raking in the brothers were finally able to not only pay off their bills and go to sleep with full bellies but also have enough left over to improve and expand their gardens. They stopped arguing, grew closer, and everything just became happier than they ever were for the three.
At least until Psycarrot received a certain letter in the mail regarding the deal he had made for such prosperity.
"Thanks again Sal!" said Psycarrot as the mail stork flew off. "Now let's see here, bill, bill, newspaper subscription, letter from the-"
Psycarrot stopped at the sight of a red and black letter addressed to him with the Devil's casino logo stamped on the top left corner.
'Must be that payment they wanted, well we've got plenty to work with here, I should be able to cover it' thought Psycarrot as he opened the letter.
As he read through it, the carrot began to turn a shade of pale, his hands started to sweat and shake, soon enough he was in a full on panic.
According to the terms of the contract he had signed, in exchange for having their garden grow Psycarrot had promised the Devil the souls of him and his brothers….
"So what was your next course of action?" asked Moldenhauer.
"Well I knew I wouldn't be able to hide this from either of my brothers, so I came clean almost immediately" said Psycarrot.
"I almost strangled him right then and there." added Moe Tato "I would have too if weepy didn't stop me."
"Anyways, since it was common knowledge that the Devil and all of his lackeys were bound to the casino and couldn't actually leave. We decided to just hide in the garden until everything blew over, we had plenty of food to work with so it wasn't too hard." said Psycarrot.
"A few weeks past and we didn't hear anything from that casino so we thought we were in the clear." said Moe Tato.
"Until the cup b rothers came by, I still can't believe that they were the ones the Devil sent after us." said Weepy.
Moldenhauer's scribbling came to an abrupt stop, he flipped through his list but couldn't seem to find any mention of any sort of cup brothers anywhere.
"And who are they? Debt collectors at the casino?" asked Moldenhauer.
"Oh goodness no." said Weepy "they're our neighbors, we babysitted em' when they were younger. They did act as debt collectors for a while though, really scrappy little guys, sure put us through the ringer."
"Hmmm, I may have to meet with them later." said Moldenhauer before standing up on his feet. "Anywho, I believe I've obtained more than the necessary information I need for my first report, thank you all for your time."
"Really? That's all you needed to know?" said Moe Tato.
"Of course, I asked but one question and you answered it completely. Now I really must be going, I am on a schedule after all."
"Alright then, take care" said Psycarrot as Moldenhauer removed himself from the garden grounds.
Crossing their names off the list, the man looked at the next name below the root pack.
'Goopy Le Grande, according to this he lives somewhere in the forest and had a near death experience not long ago. Perhaps that was involved with last week's incident.' Moldenhauer thought to himself as he hiked off towards the marked location on his map.
