*0*0*
Yours Truly
*0*0*
Dear Miss Berry,
I'm writing to inform you that your daughter, Maya, has been very quiet in recent classes, and her work ethic has been deteriorating. She's an excellent student, with a bright mind, and a pleasure to teach according to her teachers. However, I am concerned there is something else going on with her that might require some attention.
Yours truly,
Dr. Fabray
The first email was received with a momentary frown, and then quick dismissal as Rachel rushed into the theatre, pocketing her phone as she went. She could look at it later, when she had time. Until then, Dr. Fabray could wait.
Dear Miss Berry,
Having not heard from you, I assume you took on board the comments from my last email. Despite your effort to resolve this situation, Maya has become increasingly withdrawn, and at times, rude. The school has sent home letters regarding her recent behaviour, but I was wondering if you would be willing to come in and have a sit down about what is going on. My numbers are below.
Yours truly,
Dr. Fabray
The second email was met with a more prolonged frown because Rachel had most definitely not received any letters from her daughter. But Maya had been staying with her father this week, so she most likely gave them to him. Maya was a good girl; well, as good as any fifteen year old could be, so Rachel wasn't concerned. She'd maybe bring it up when they had brunch on Sunday.
Dear Miss Berry,
I was really hoping to have heard from you by now regarding Maya's behaviour. Her work is still on form, but she has become very disruptive, and she has received several warnings, on top of two detentions this week. Please call me back, leave me a message, or email me so we can discuss the on-going problem.
Yours truly,
Dr. Fabray
The third email had Rachel reaching out to Brody, because Maya wouldn't talk to her. Apparently saying no to a ridiculous request meant receiving the silent treatment in return. But really, did Maya honestly think she was just going to let her head to Europe for the summer with her friends? No. No way.
Brody had no clue what Rachel was talking about, but he promised to talk to their daughter when she came to his. That was all Rachel could ask, given her back to back shows and how it was impossible to squeeze in a serious conversation around the short amount of time Maya and her did spend together.
Dear Miss Berry,
As I'm sure you're aware, from Maya's appearance, she was involved in a physical altercation with another student. We have tried calling you, and your home, several times, but have been unable to reach you. Maya's father did come in and handle the initial fallout, but I still wish to have a sit down meeting with you. I'll continue to try and reach you.
Yours truly,
Dr. Fabray
The fourth email was enough to prompt some actual action, and when Rachel saw the state of her daughter's face, all hell broke loose. This was not like her, not like the daughter Rachel had raised, and where was this behaviour coming from?
Maya knew she was in trouble as soon as she saw her mother, arms crossed, foot tapping in agitation, practically glowering at her across the room. She briefly considered pretending that she hadn't seen her and sneaking upstairs, but her mother's voice was enough to change her mind pretty quickly.
"Get in here now, and let me see your face," Rachel growled, trying not to jump over the counter to lift Maya's face for her to view properly. Her beautiful baby's eye was bruised, and there was a few scratches across her other cheek. She also looked to have a fat lip.
Good heavens, it was like something out of fight club.
"What happened to you?! I received an email saying you were in a fight and that your behaviour has been going downhill, yet I hear nothing from you! Your father doesn't know about any of this either, and why didn't he call me?!" she cried, watching as her daughter sunk into the nearest chair.
"Look, don't get mad at dad, okay? I asked him not to talk to you about it-" Maya began, holding up her hands in surrender. She really didn't want her mom and dad fighting again. They'd done that enough with her around.
"Maya-" Rachel said, cutting her daughter off. She needed to get to the root of whatever was going on, even if her daughter didn't want to.
"No, okay? Be pissed at me, I got in the fight, not him." Brody was still a bone of contention between them, and try as hard as she might, Rachel took a deep breath to push all thoughts of him from her mind. He wasn't the issue at hand; Maya's behaviour was.
"What were you thinking, getting in a fight?!"
"She was talking trash, I stood up for myself, that's it," Maya replied, shrugging her shoulders. "It looks worse than it is, but it's nothing, just a graze, and a little bruising."
"You look like a thug!"
"It's nothing." The nonchalant eye roll had Rachel seething, but she held her anger together. If they continued to yell this would escalate and the last thing she wanted was her daughter running off to stay with friends while she was working.
"No, Maya, this isn't nothing. Your behaviour has been all over the place these last few months, and I want to know why. What is going on with you? What can I do to help?"
It saddened her to see such a despondent look back at her, as Maya shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. So Rachel wasn't going to get an answer, but that wasn't good enough. She needed one.
"I'm worried about you," she confessed, hoping that would be enough encouragement for her daughter to talk to her.
"Don't be. I'm fine." Her answer was cold and Rachel didn't know what to do to get her to open up. She had never encountered this issue with her fathers when growing up, and she couldn't work out why her daughter wouldn't tell her about her life. "Look, I've got homework, so are we done?"
"No, but we can finish this later. I've got to head to the theatre. I'm already late." Glancing at the clock on the wall, Rachel calculated just how late she actually was. There was still a little wiggle room.
"Okay." With that, her daughter was up and out her chair, grabbing her things.
"Food's in the fridge-" Rachel began, pointing to her right, but it was lost on her daughter.
"Money's on the dining room table if I need it, I know!" Maya called, not even looking as she headed up the stairs, leaving Rachel alone.
Well, that didn't go as planned, but it wasn't completely useless. At least she could inform the school's guidance counsellor not to worry anymore.
Dr. Fabray,
My daughter and I have had words, there won't be a problem anymore.
Rachel Berry
It was short and sweet, but it had to be as Rachel needed to head out. She really hoped that her conversation with Maya would be enough.
*0*0*
Miss Berry,
Thank you for having words with Maya, but I believe this situation would benefit from another approach. I would still like to set up a meeting for you to come in and speak on the matter. Which day suits you best?
Yours truly,
Dr. Fabray
*0*0*
Dr. Fabray,
You must have misunderstood my last response. I will not be coming in to have a chat about this. Maya has assured me things are going back to normal, and unlike you, I do not keep regular working hours. Thank you for your concern but the problem has been solved.
Rachel Berry
*0*0*
Miss Berry,
I'm going to be frank, because I feel that's the best approach. Your daughter may have assured you things will be solved, but she is still having problems. We would like to help out in any capacity, and to do it would be best if we could work together. It would greatly benefit Maya.
Yours truly,
Dr. Fabray
*0*0*
Dr. Fabray,
I trust my daughter's assurances, and will leave it at that. We have nothing else to discuss, thank you very much.
Miss Berry
*0*0*
The emails stopped from that point on, and Rachel returned to regular programming. She was more observant when it came to Maya and what she was up to, but for the life of her, couldn't see what Dr. Fabray might have been hinting at. To Rachel, she seemed inept, and she was now thankful she wasn't being bothered with things every other day.
So the show went on, or at least she did, six nights a week, performing her heart out over and over again and loving every second of it. Only, then the cracks began to appear, and it was harder to ignore Dr. Fabray's words about there being something that needed addressing.
Maya would come home after being at friend's with puffy eyes poorly concealed with makeup, and practically itching to go to her room. Other times she'd take the emergency money, hoping Rachel didn't realise, only for it to be replaced a few days later. And there might have been the odd bottle of wine missing from the cellar, but Rachel had been fifteen once, and she knew that Maya was a level-headed girl. That was the reasoning she told herself, anyway, before the debauchery her friends had gotten up to popped into her mind, including that one pregnancy scare, and nope.
"Maya, can you come down here, please!" Rachel called, sitting in the kitchen, wine glass out, laptop open, wondering if this was the right course of action. It had to be, directness was always the best way.
Maya came wandering down the stairs, phone in hand, eyes on the screen, oblivious to her mother's thoughts, and loitered in the kitchen doorway. "What is it?" she asked, not lifting her head, and Rachel's eyes combed over her body just to be sure she wasn't…she didn't look…
"Are you pregnant?" she asked, and clattering across the floor went Maya's phone.
"What?! No! Where would you…? What possibly gave you that idea?!" she cried back, and Rachel instantly relaxed, that was most definitely the reaction she was after.
"Well, are you having sex? Because if you are, Maya, we need to talk contraception and STDs – there are so many things that you need to be aware of-"
"Okay, stop no, stop talking before I slam my head into a wall. Please," Maya barked, cutting her mother off before she died of mortification. This was not what she had expected when she came down there. She assumed her mother was going through another crisis after having found some bad review online, not that she thought she was knocked up.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to catch you off guard."
"Off guard?! Couldn't you have waited until I was seated?"
"You weren't going to sit down," Rachel replied, knowing well enough her daughter didn't exactly want to spend time with her. Maya accepted her response with a sigh and then moved to slouch in the nearest seat.
"Why the questions?" she went on to ask, looking at Rachel expectantly.
"I've been getting emails from Dr. Fabray-"
"That's my guidance counsellor." Maya frowned, not liking the sound of that one bit, while Rachel continued.
"Yes, that's what she said, and she's concerned about you. She wants me to come in and speak to her." Or rather, used to badger Rachel into going in.
"And you said no?" There was too much riding on Rachel's answer that it made her suspicious of Maya's need to know.
"Well, yes, I did, and I have been. But her words have stuck with me, and I'm curious to know why Dr. Fabray thinks there is anything wrong with you." There obviously was something Maya was hiding, and now Rachel wanted to know exactly what it was.
"So you immediately jumped to me being pregnant? Thanks, mom," Maya sassed, hoping that would distract her enough to drop the conversation, but she should have known better. Rachel could smell blood in the water and was now a shark on the hunt.
"Maya, what's going on?" Rachel asked bluntly, once again getting straight to the point.
"Nothing." It wasn't the answer she wanted.
"You can talk to me." That's what her dads always used to say, and Rachel would then immediately open up about her boy troubles or Glee drama. It was the one sentence that made her feel like she had the best parents in the world, as they were there for her.
But her daughter had a different response to her words.
"I don't want to talk to you." And that hurt, more than Rachel thought, but she swallowed the lump away and tried again.
"Maya."
"No, look, I get it, okay?" Maya groaned, getting up from the chair and walking towards the door. "I get that I can talk to you, but I don't want to. I'd rather talk to dad, or Amy, or even Dr. Fabray, than talk with you."
"Amy?" Rachel repeated, feeling almost wounded.
"Well, yeah, she is my step-mom." But Rachel was her mother…didn't that…wasn't that…It hadn't even occurred to Rachel that Maya wouldn't want to talk to her about some things in her life, and that she'd rather share them with Amy of all people. Amy.
"Oh, okay. As long as you have people to talk to." That was the best response she could give, but Maya thought it was more than enough.
"I do, so relax. Everything's fine."
Everything was most definitely not fine, but Rachel could only hope that it sorted itself out; that Brody and Amy were on top of things. They had to be, because Rachel couldn't.
*0*0*
On one of the rare nights Rachel had time to take off, she was at Maya's school, having just sat through what was a delightful, albeit it rather dull, ceremony about the achievements of the students so far. It was their way of showing off the crème of the crop, even when there was still another semester left.
Maya had been up for an award, and she had won, of course, like mother like daughter, so Rachel was there, and Brody was there, and Amy, she was there too. One cosy little family, all together, all happily together. As if.
But Rachel was smiling and she was proud of her daughter, so that was enough to endure Brody and his new wife's company. At that current moment, they were all in the reception hall, enjoying drinks and what could only be described as morsels of food, before a dinner was to be held in the students honour.
"I'm going to see dad, okay?" Maya said, looking at Rachel for a moment, who was looking out at the rest of guests in attendance. She recognised a few others, but not many.
"Yeah, no problem." Smiling as best she could, she watched her daughter run off into Brody's waiting arms, and then felt her smile fall slightly. She was pleased they had a good relationship, just sad hers wasn't like that with Maya.
"Miss Berry?" someone asked, and Rachel immediately went into show mode.
"Yes, can I help you?" she asked, turning to look at the woman who had approached.
She was taller than Rachel was, for starters, with her blonde hair loose over her shoulders, and dressed immaculately in white suit pants, with a light blue shirt to go with. She was obviously a teacher, as the parents were out in force in their designers.
"I'm Dr. Fabray, Quinn Fabray, I've been emailing you," she replied, and Rachel felt herself taking a deep breath, but masking it behind a smile.
"Oh, of course." This was not what she was hoping for. Hopefully someone would come save her "Yes, Dr. Fabray, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." Complete lie, and it was obvious Dr. Fabray knew it too, as her smile widened like this was some secret, before she ploughed on.
"You can call me Quinn, no need for formalities." The smile was still there, mirth in her hazel eyes, and Rachel felt a little rattled.
"Right, of course, Quinn. What can I do for you?" It wasn't a question she wanted to ask, but it felt like the right one.
"I know you believe that everything with Maya is back on track-" And of course, most definitely the wrong one as Quinn went flying into a discussion Rachel didn't want to have.
"Dr. Fabray-" Rachel began, shaking her head.
"Quinn." Right, Quinn.
"Quinn, Maya's teachers have all informed me this evening that she's doing exemplary in their classes, and the award she won just exemplifies that. I can't see what the problem is. My daughter has done nothing wrong." Really, it was beginning to seem like this woman had a vendetta against Maya.
"Yes, that's true, she's not done anything wrong. But her past behaviour-" Quinn went on to say, and no, Rachel was not having that.
"Should not be held against her. Haven't you ever made a mistake in your past that you want to move on from?" Rachel certainly had, so surely Quinn had too.
"That's not what I'm trying to say, Miss Berry. I think Maya needs additional support. Please, if we could just talk things over, go through a few things, it might help." She could see where this was going, and while she had to give Quinn points for her tenacity, it was becoming annoying.
"I don't have time to come in for a meeting-" She barely had time to do everything she was already doing, let alone squeeze in some pointless meeting.
"We can do it right now; it'll only take a minute," Quinn was quick to say, halting Rachel completely. She didn't have an excuse to say no, because it was clear no one was waiting on her, no one was expecting her to see or speak to them, and the dinner had at least another fifteen minutes before being served.
And really, what was the harm?
"Fine, only a minute," Rachel replied, nodding, and trying hard to ignore the thankful smile she received in return.
"Thank you," Quinn grinned, waving her hand for Rachel to follow her.
*0*0*
While leading Rachel through the school, Quinn rooted around in her pocket for her keys and then twiddled them in her fingers. She had everything locked away, as her files were confidential, despite some students best attempts to get in and read them.
Unlocking the door, Quinn flicked on the lights and held it open for Rachel to enter. She received a thankful smile in return, while she searched for Maya's file. She had it pretty close to hand, given how many times Maya was in and out her office each week, and was pulling it out of her cabinet in seconds.
"That's Maya's file?" Rachel asked, looking a little unnerved. It was certainly bigger than she'd expected.
"Yes, and while I'm not going to show you or reveal what's in here, I do with we should go over a few things, so please, take a seat?" Quinn asked, indicating to the ones across from her desk.
Rachel sat down, feeling rather uncomfortable, like she was in some sort of trouble. But that feeling eased when Quinn took a seat next to her, rather than across from her. It no longer held the implication that Rachel was to blame for Maya's issues, even though that was ridiculous in itself, and it made her relax her shoulders.
"Okay, I just wanted to bring to your attention what's been happening. Maya was referred to me by her English teacher in response to some of the writing pieces she submitted-"
"Was her work poor? Plagiarism? I thought her grades were good-" Rachel interrupted, a flash of worry overcoming her. They'd need to get Maya a tutor if there problems, and she could already see that going down like a lead balloon.
"Miss Berry," Quinn said, with an easy smile, shaking her head. "Maya's work was brilliant, according to her teacher, but it was the topic that was of more concern. I'm not going to go into too much detail but having had Maya open up to me over the last few months, and with her permission, I feel I'm in a position to bring this to your attention."
"And what's that, exactly?" Narrowing her eyes, Rachel waiting, feeling very uneasy.
"Unlike the typical teenage drama that occurs around these halls, I feel that Maya is struggling with something more. She's incredibly smart and outgoing, with the ability to fit in, but in the writing pieces she wrote, she mentions feeling alone, very alone. We see this quite a lot with those whose parents are very successful, where the child feels the need to be as successful to be noticed-"
"Are you implying I ignore my daughter?" Rachel's tone was sharp, sharper than she had meant, but it had the desired effect as Quinn sat up straighter immediately.
"No, Miss Berry, not at all," Quinn was quick to say. "What I'm saying is that Maya applies herself to her studies to succeed, but her friendship group is lacking."
"That can't be right, she wants to go to Europe for the summer with a bunch of them." Which was still ridiculous, and if Maya had somehow talked her guidance teacher into pressurising Rachel to say yes, she was going to lose it.
"Yes, I'm aware; you said no, she told me about it. But she was so upset because she feels if she doesn't go she won't have any friends. In all honesty, Miss Berry, I think you should talk to Maya about moving schools. She doesn't feel like she connects here, instead that she's an outsider looking in, and the worst possible outcome would be that she's feels peer pressured into doing something that she would later regret. Sometimes a change of scenery is the best option for those that are not finding their feet."
This was news to Rachel, and she frowned again, feeling very confused. How could Maya not be fitting in? She was doing so well in all her classes. She was an exemplary student! But then again, Rachel had never met any of her friends, and all those times that she had come home early or just gone to her father's on the weekend was beginning to make sense.
"And she's felt like this since that first email you sent me?" Rachel wondered, not knowing what to make of the whole situation.
"It wasn't as clear back then just what the issue was, but I suspect so," Quinn answered, and Rachel nodded.
Silence dragged on, while Quinn gave her time to digest that information, before Rachel took a deep breath and shook her head.
"Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'm sorry I didn't take you seriously, but I will bring this up with Maya…her father and I will talk about it and we'll bring it up. I appreciate you looking out for our daughter, Dr. Fabray."
"You're welcome. But when it comes to students like Maya, I'm happy to help any way I can. I see a lot similarities in how I was as a teenager, and wouldn't want her to have to go through three more years of high school feeling left out when she could have a great group of friends elsewhere."
Nodding, taking that thought aboard, Rachel rose from her seat, with Quinn following.
"I should get back…I…I wouldn't want to miss anything."
"Of course, thank you for letting me speak to you in the first place," Quinn replied, watching as Rachel's expression changed from worry to a mask of indifference. She could actually see the actress in her come out, and then Rachel was giving her a parting smile before leaving.
Sighing, Quinn took a seat, and wondered if she had actually helped Maya at all. The rest of the file spoke of a poor relationship with her mother, wanting to stay at her father's more, and other teenage woes. Maya was certain her mother didn't care about her, and while Quinn was initially of a similar mind-set considering how many emails were ignored, she now could see that was not the case.
It looked as though Rachel cared very much, but was completely out of her depth, and that Quinn could very much understand. She could only hope that action was made, however, and Maya got what she needed from it.
*0*0*
It took Rachel over a week of hashing things out with Brody and Amy to come up with a way to talk to Maya about what Dr. Fabray had mentioned. Brody insisted all was well, that since her grades were so good it would be foolish to move school, and Amy seemed to agree with him. Rachel's diva tantrums weren't enough to pull that argument apart, but the constant reminders of Maya fighting, coming home upset, did break their resolve.
Of course, in typical Brody fashion, Rachel was left to have the all-important conversation with Maya by herself. She'd taken the night off from the theatre, giving her understudy a chance to shine, and was waiting for her to come home from piano lessons. Grabbing her phone, Rachel loaded up her email and decided to let someone else know what was about to happen.
Dr. Fabray,
I'm going to talk with Maya this evening about what you mentioned in your office last week. I thought it best to let you know so you can be on the lookout for any changes in her behaviour this week. She may come to you for support. Thank you,
Rachel Berry
The response was almost immediate.
Miss Berry,
If you need any assistance, or would like me to talk to Maya more, please do not hesitate to call me.
Yours Truly,
Dr. Fabray.
It was reassuring to know that even if there was fallout between Rachel and Maya, Maya had someone else she could turn to while at school. And just as Rachel put her phone down, she heard the front door opening and Maya wandering in. It took her a few minutes to come into the kitchen, and because of the way her mother was seated, Maya immediately knew something was up.
"What's going on?" she questioned, moving slowly toward the nearest seat, the thought at the back of her mind telling her to just go upstairs.
"We should talk…we need to talk," Rachel began, waving at the seat once again.
"What about?" Maya was rather unsure as to where this was going, and after the last big conversation she had with her mother, she wasn't sure she wanted to find out.
"Your guidance counselor and I had a conversation, and I want to know if you're enjoying school?"
"No one enjoys school,"
"Maya, Dr. Fabray says that you feel alone, isolated, and it doesn't have to be that way."
"I don't understand."
"If you're lonely at that school, we can move you to another school."
Maya sat in silence, frowning, swallowing the lump in her throat, while Rachel looked on. She waited, wondering what was going to happen next, not wanting to pressure a response, but still equally curious.
"What…I…" The words refused to come out, despite Maya's best attempts at talking. She couldn't answer that directly, she needed to process things, to understand what she was being offered. And then it was time to come clean about a few things.
"Dr. Fabray," Maya began, "she was right about me not exactly fitting in. I don't…my friends aren't exactly my friends. They just…I'm just there and they sometimes invite me to things but they don't want me there."
It was really painful to listen to what Maya was saying, as the Mama Bear in Rachel wanted to protect her baby at all costs, but obviously that wasn't possible. Hearing what she feared, what Quinn had told her about, and trying to tell her about since the beginning, left Rachel feeling inadequate and foolish, but this wasn't about her, this was about Maya.
"Why didn't you want to talk to me about this?" she wondered. Although her daughter had clearly expressed she would go to others before Rachel, it was worth knowing what had caused such a gap between them on this.
"Because you like that place! You think it's a great school and it'll teach me great morals or whatever." Rachel does recall saying something like that at some point, but she never thought Maya would take it as gospel.
"It is a great school, but it's not the school for you if you're not happy there. I just want you happy."
"You could let me go to Europe with them." It was one last ditch attempt at possibly fitting in, and as much as Rachel wished that could solve all their problems, she knew it wouldn't.
"No, I can't. That won't help matters, and you know that." That would only mean her daughter was miserable on another continent.
"I know, " Maya sighed.
"Do you want to stay there?" Rachel asked, reaching her hand out, offering it. She tried hard not to act surprised when Maya placed her hand in hers.
"I don't know." She shrugged, shaking her head.
"You can try another school, it's not a problem." It wouldn't be, they'd sort it out
"But then you and dad have to-" Maya began, looking defeated and upset at the thought, which Rachel quickly calmed.
"Forget about what your dad and I will have to do, what do you want?" That was the most important thing. Rachel and Brody could deal, as long as Maya was happy.
"Let's…let's maybe go look elsewhere. I don't…I don't want to be there."
"Okay, we'll do that," Rachel nodded, giving her daughter a comforting smile.
As hard as that conversation appeared to be, it went so much better than Rachel thought possible. And she relayed this fact to Dr. Fabray, who passed on a list of other schools that might best suit Maya. And the knowledge that even though Rachel clearly had her faults as a mother, she could still help in some way, ensured that the following morning she was onto every private school closely situated to find out if they had any places available.
She might have messed up at the beginning of this, but she was going to sort it out, sooner rather than later.
*0*0*
On a lazy Wednesday morning, Rachel was across town, standing in some unknown food store that Santana had dragged her to, looking for any kind of vegan alternatives. She was coming up short, as usual, but ploughed on with her search.
Eventually, she ended up at the fruit section, knowing that she could never go wrong with fruit, and stood debating which ones to purchase. She never saw nor heard anyone approach, but then they spoke, and she near took out the whole fruit display with her basket.
"Hi," Quinn greeted, shy but clear, and it was enough to surprise Rachel to her presence.
"Hi. Gosh, Dr. Fabray, hi," Rachel stammered out, looking over the other woman. She was in running gear, a bag of bananas in one hand, bottle of water in the other, and looked far too pretty for someone who had clearly just worked out.
"I didn't mean to startle you," she murmured, taking a step back and shaking her head. "I shouldn't have bothered you."
"No, not at all. It's good to see you, outside of school, that one time." Gosh, what was she even saying?" "Been out for a run?"
"Yeah, what gave me away?" Quinn teased, and Rachel felt silly for even asking. "I I didn't know this was your neck of the woods…I thought you…" Quinn moved on to say, giving Rachel a chance to redeem herself.
"I was staying at a friend's house and was in the neighbourhood." And that made it sound like her 'friend' was so much more than that. Why that mattered, Rachel didn't know, but she didn't want to give Quinn that impression.
"No show today?" Quinn then asked, and Rachel shook her head.
"No, not for me. And no school?"
"I don't start till lunch."
"Ah, well, I hope you enjoy your morning…"
"Miss Berry do you want to have brunch or something?"
"Oh, there you are, hobbit. I turn my back for one second and you run off," Santana's usual pissed off tone announced, with her coming up to stand next to Rachel. "And now I know why," she finished, a sly smirk taking over her features.
"Santana, this is Dr. Fabray. Quinn, this is Santana Lopez, my friend," Rachel jumped in, hoping that introductions would stop whatever dirty remark Santana was going to make. Quinn's eyebrows rose as she realised this was the friend Rachel was referring to, which was so revealing.
"Ah…right." Yep, Quinn clearly thought Rachel was screwing Santana, and that was just the worst news ever. "Well, don't let me keep the two of you. Have a good day," Quinn finished, stepping back to leave.
"You too," Santana grinned, just knowing that there was more to whatever it was she'd walked in on.
"Quinn?" Rachel called, needing to give her an answer. "I'll email you about…I'll email you, okay?" She received a nod in return, before Quinn's eyes were on Santana again, and then back to Rachel's. It probably looked like she was arranging to cheat on her girlfriend who was standing right there, but that was so not the case.
Quinn walked away, and not a moment too soon, as Santana's curious eyes were on her and then on Rachel.
"Who's Dr. Fabray?" The smirk was evident in her voice, and Rachel could already feel her distaste at where this conversation was going.
"Maya's guidance counselor."
"I'd like me some guidance from her. What's the deal, single?" Santana hummed, causing Rachel to take a deep breath.
"Santana, no," she grounded out, shaking her head. This was just a continuous train wreck, getting worse and worse the more time went on.
"What?" Santana barked, frowning at her. As far as she could see, she'd done nothing wrong by enquiring.
"You're not going to approach or proposition her," Rachel stated, making sure to not leave that open to interpretation.
"Why not? She's clearly gay, or something," Santana mused, shrugging, before turning her gaze onto what disasters Rachel had in her basket.
"What? What makes you say that?" The frown of confusion would have been cute to Santana if Rachel wasn't so oblivious.
"Seriously, Berry, are you blind? She was checking you out the whole time I was standing here."
"No she wasn't." Dr. Fabray wouldn't do that, Rachel was sure. She just wouldn't.
"Yeah, she was, and she was so unsubtle about it. Either she's trying to give you a hint or she has no game."
"Santana, please," Rachel groaned, feeling the need for this conversation to just be over.
"What? I'm being serious." Santana shrugged and turned back to where Quinn had walked off. "So, are you going to let go of my arm or is she off limits?" She might as well know for certain, because the doc had a great ass and Santana could use some company at night.
"I'm not even going to justify that with an answer," Rachel muttered, shaking her head as she walked off in the other direction.
"Off limits. Got it," Santana hummed, going after her with a sigh.
*0*0*
Dr. Fabray,
I apologise for our conversation being cut short today. My friend, Santana, has no tact. You mentioned brunch, and I was wondering if you would still like to make arrangements?
Rachel Berry.
*0*0*
Dear Rachel,
Please, call my Quinn, I insist. And I'd very much like to go to brunch or dinner, perhaps? I know you're the one with the busier schedule, so let me know when you're free.
Yours truly,
Quinn
*0*0*
It was another set of emails, another week passing, another busy show schedule, another fight with Brody, and another migraine later that Rachel finally had a date booked to go have lunch with Quinn. She wasn't quite sure what to expect, not since Santana's words were swarming round her mind, but she went with the optimistic view of it being just two friends having lunch together.
Only, the way she admired Quinn in her blouse was more than friendly, the way she lit up at the other woman's conversation, light teasing, and kindness was more than that of a friend, and the silly hope at the end of lunch that Quinn would be brave and kiss her goodbye was completely off the scale for being just friends.
But it felt one-sided, and Rachel had no clue what to do about that. Santana's cackles down the phone hours later was not helpful to say the least, but she did relent and finally gave some helpful advice. Or, what she thought was helpful.
So the following week, Rachel offered to take Quinn out, and it was as light and easy as it was the first time, and now she could feel her affections for her growing, and it felt foolish to continue this without saying something.
"Quinn," Rachel began, straightening out her silverware to distract herself. "I was…I've been meaning to ask…I…what are we doing, exactly?"
Quinn's surprised face was almost too painful for Rachel to look at, but she endured it to see what it would change into. Only, it remained, and then a small smile dotted on her lips.
"We're having lunch," Quinn replied, looking a little perplexed.
"I know, but what are we doing?" Rachel repeated, hoping the emphasis was obvious while also not scaring Quinn away.
"I thought we were getting to know one another, and I'm happy to help with Maya in anyway, she's a great girl, and actually, she'd get on great with Beth-"
"Beth?" Rachel asked, interrupting, because now suddenly another woman's name was being mentioned and what was happening?
"My daughter," Quinn explained, smiling, and fuck.
"You have a daughter?" Oh, good lord, it felt like Rachel couldn't have screwed this up more if she tried. And when she got home she was going to scream at Santana for making her think Quinn was even remotely interested in her.
"Yes, I thought…I thought you knew, I'm sorry." Quinn looked a little worried about dropping that bomb on Rachel, but it didn't last long, as Rachel wasn't freaking out.
"No, please, don't apologise. I'm surprised Maya never mentioned her."
"She goes to another school, it would be a bit unfair to be privy to all the school gossip when some might concern her, and have her mother know everything about her life," Quinn added, and while that was very considerate and sweet, now was not the time for Rachel to be aware of that.
Humming in agreement, Rachel tried to pull the mortification from the forefront of her mind, but it just wasn't possible. There she was, sitting with a stunning woman, who was no doubt married, and also had at least one child. The mortification was there to stay, because she was the biggest fool there had ever been, or at least she felt like that.
And that feeling continued through the rest of their lunch, with Rachel finding out that Beth was only a few years older than Maya, and how they would probably get on great. She tried her best to contribute to the conversation, but admittedly, the knowledge of her complete misread of the situation was disheartening.
When lunch was over and Quinn had walked Rachel out, they took a moment to say goodbye, with Rachel barely being able to meet Quinn's eye. It must have been the last straw, as Quinn spoke up, increasing the mortification.
"Did I…did I do something wrong?" she asked, and the self-conscious side that slipped out was enough to have Rachel looking up.
"No, goodness, no. It was me, I…I misread the situation, and I feel it's only fair to be honest with you, as I don't want to disrespect you in anyway, or lead you on in this friendship for you to find out later on-"
"Rachel, what are you talking about?" The question was so simple, and with the way Quinn looked at her in concern, Rachel knew that she'd have to be honest. Lying was never her strong suit, and how could she do that to such an amazing woman?
"I…I thought this was a date, not a friend date, but a date date. So please, forgive me for my foolish interpretation, and I apologise for wanting more. We'll make great friends, if you just pretend that I don't think you're the prettiest woman I've ever met, and can move on from this, only to laugh about it later." Her honesty was brash, but she needed to be, it was her style, and it had served her well in the past. Plus, she was nervous, and her mouth just didn't shut up when that happened.
"We will make great friends, I'm sure," Quinn began, and Rachel was convinced she was going to suddenly say but they'll never be friends. Only that didn't happen. "But this was date, a date date as you put it."
"It was?" Shock didn't begin to describe the emotion running through Rachel at that moment.
"Yes, it was to me, anyway. But if you want me to forget about it, then-" Quinn began, and Rachel needed to fix this.
"No! Please, forget I even said any of that! It was nonsense!" she called, reaching out to place her hand on Quinn's arm.
"Including the part about me being the prettiest woman you've ever met?" Quinn teased, and Rachel chuckled under her breath, shaking her head as she did so.
"Well, no, that part is still very much true, I assure you." One hundred percent true, no doubt about it. "I'm sorry…it's been a long time and I…I don't know what I doing." That was the understatement of the century. She hadn't been on a date since Maya was seven, and that was so horrific she'd blanked those memories out.
"That's okay, cause I do," Quinn answered with a smile, and relief flooded Rachel at that moment, finally replacing the mortification she had previously felt.
Whatever this was, it felt so much better than she thought possible, and maybe now she would need to send Santana a bottle of wine or something, instead of yelling at her.
*0*0*
Dear Rachel,
I had a lovely time with you, and I'm glad we cleared some things up. So now we know where we stand, would you like to go to lunch again this week? I know you're busy, but I can't stop thinking about you. Let me know what works for you.
Yours truly,
Quinn
*0*0*
Dear Quinn,
I'm of the same mind, and seem to have you in my thoughts more often than not. Lunch again this week would be great. I look forward to seeing you again,
Rachel
*0*0*
Dear Rachel,
Last week's lunch date was just what I needed to end the week, so thank you for meeting me again. As for this week, I've been hearing rave reviews for this restaurant a few blocks from the school, and I was wondering if you wished to meet me one day?
Yours truly,
Quinn
*0*0*
The dates continued, and from the outside they seemed very much 'friend' dates. They would meet at the restaurant, with one paying and then the other paying the next time, only to leave with a parting hug. And that was it.
Goodness, they hadn't even kissed yet!
Rachel just couldn't bring herself to do it, not until she spoke to Maya first. Obviously, she wasn't going to go into details, but Quinn was someone Maya trusted, and how she was going to take to Maya dating her, well that was something completely new.
So once again, they were having one of those big conversations, and Maya was as stumped as she was for the previous ones. In her mind, her behaviour had improved, and they were looking at other schools, with two interviews lined up for her to attend. What possibly could possess her mother to want another serious talk was very worrying, in her mind.
"Maya, I need to be honest with you," Rachel began, knowing that she had been keeping her dates with Quinn a secret, and how that might read like betrayal.
"Okay…" Maya raised her eyebrows in question and waited.
"I've been going to lunch with Quinn- Dr. Fabray, several times a week, for a few weeks or so."
"Lunch?"
"Dates," Rachel corrected, knowing she should have used that word to begin with.
"Dates?" Maya repeated, her voice an octave higher.
"Yes." Giving her daughter a moment to process that fact, Rachel waited until it looked like Maya was ready to continue. She wasn't overly shocked, but she did look slightly surprised. Thankfully, there was no sign of betrayal in her eyes, which eased Rachel's worries.
"What are you doing with her?" Maya asked, and Rachel seriously hoped she wasn't meaning literally.
"I don't know, exactly, but I wanted to be honest with you, because I'm- we're getting closer to one another, and it seems to be more than a passing infatuation." Definitely more than a passing infatuation, to Rachel at least.
"So you like her?" It sounded so high school, but it brought a smile to Rachel's lips just thinking about how much she did indeed like Quinn.
"Yes, I do. Is that a problem? If it is, Maya, you can tell me and I'll stop, I'll call Quinn right away and we'll call it quits-" It would pain her to do that, but her daughter was her number one priority now.
"No, relax. Dad's happy, why can't you be?" she replied, shrugging her shoulders and pushing off the counter.
Maya was so blasé, Rachel didn't know what to do, what to say, or how to react. She honestly thought she would get a bigger reaction. But then again, taking in Maya's words, Brody was happy, and Rachel didn't grudge him that. And obviously Maya thought it was about time she moved on from how that relationship affected her.
It did make Rachel wonder why it had taken her so long to reach the same place. She knew Brody and herself were never destined to be together, they were just the right people for each other and that exact moment in time, unbeknownst to them that there was an expiry date on their relationship.
And now, now Rachel was ready to move on, to finally get back out there, and nothing seemed to be standing in her way.
"Mom," Maya said, breaking Rachel from her thoughts. "If you're happy with her, then don't let me stop you. Dr. Fabray's pretty great." That felt like the best green light she'd get, and Rachel sent her daughter a thankful smile, before Maya opted to get the hell out of there. She was worried her mom would want to spill about all the details, and that was information she didn't need to know.
But, as she wandered up the stairs to her room, Maya felt rather thankful that her mom had been honest to her about it, and that she had found someone who made her smile. Plus, she wasn't lying, Dr. Fabray was a good person, and while it was weird thinking of them together, she kinda liked that this way she wasn't going to lose Dr. Fabray when she moved school.
There were silver linings to everything.
*0*0*
Dear Quinn,
Maya has absolutely no problem with us seeing one another, I'm happy to report, and I do believe this has everything to do with how amazing you've been with her. She trusts you, like I do, so thank you.
Rachel
*0*0*
Dear Rachel,
It's entirely my pleasure, so there is absolutely no need for thanks.
Yours truly,
Quinn
*0*0*
With the knowledge that everything was out in the open, the dates resumed, and now the barriers were out the way, sort of. Physical intimacy wasn't high on the priority list. It should have been, because goodness knows that Rachel hadn't had sex in years, but when it came to Quinn, there was so much more than just jumping into bed with her.
Kissing, on the other hand, that was back on the table now. And thank the lord.
Their first kiss had been in the entrance hall to Rachel's house, with one of Quinn's hands on her hip and the other in her hair, the scent of wine and perfume surrounding them, as they leant against the closest wall. Their smiles of a successful date were slowly fading, making way to a clarity that was startling for the both of them, but with their lips that close, with the air around them pulling them under, pulling them in, it was completely inevitable.
Rachel leaned in first, too tired of waiting, needing to lean up on her tiptoes while Quinn got the message and leaned down, meeting together in the middle with a moan from both of them. It was intoxicating, the need to keep kissing, to pull the other closer, to make perfect use of the wall next to them.
Quinn's grip tightened on her waist, and that was Rachel's cue to gasp for breath, feeling the lust pool deep in her body, with what felt like an animalistic need for the woman before her. And then she was back, kissing her again and again, needing more.
Until all at once they were shrouded in darkness.
"What was that?" Quinn asked, breaking what was the best kiss Rachel had experienced.
"I'm going to kill my daughter," Rachel murmured, now with the light back on, before turning off again, and back on, and off, and on. "We get it, you can stop now!" Rachel called, and Quinn looked positively mortified.
"You don't think she saw…?"
"I don't think we want to answer that." Rachel did not want to think about what her daughter might have just witnessed.
"I should go."
"Probably best, before she really gets a show." Quinn looked in pain at the thought, as if each step towards the main door was hurting her. It was certainly hurting Rachel, who wanted nothing more than to jump her right at that moment.
And from then on, for the dates that followed, the rule was made to stay in public places, at least until Maya finished the school year. Then she'd move on, move to the great school Rachel had scouted out, where she was already being accepted into the many clubs they had to offer.
It felt like a lot of progress, and great success, and before any of them knew it, Maya was celebrating the first day of summer holiday by going to meet up with girls she'd be going to school with come autumn, and Rachel had a new email awaiting to be read in her inbox.
*0*0*
Dear Rachel,
It's come to my attention that I'm hopelessly in love with you, and seeing as your daughter is no longer under my care, I thought it time to tell you.
Yours truly,
Quinn
P.S. I think it's time you met Beth.
Rachel was smitten with the first part, grinning ear to ear with the knowledge of Quinn's affections. She wondered, she had curiously thought about it late at night curled up in bed with nothing but Quinn on her mind, but she didn't dare dream.
So to see the words so boldly written, so clearly stated, it made her heart sing.
But then, of course, there was the post script. That thought had her worried. Meeting Quinn's daughter never seemed to be on the cards before, but it obviously was now. That certainly seemed like a big step, and what if Beth didn't like her?
However, she was being rash, Rachel knew she was being rash.
Quinn had guided her through so much, with Maya, with learning to stand up and be a better parent, with learning to focus on what really mattered, and with opening herself up to other people again, on an intimate level. So really, Rachel had nothing to worry about at all. Quinn was there, Quinn would help her, and Quinn would most certainly steer her right, as she had been from that very first email, and knowing that was priceless.
*0*0*
Dear Quinn,
I am very much in love with you, too.
Yours truly,
Rachel
P.S. – I can't wait to meet Beth
*0*0*