I, Shepard

The Light

AN: Welcome to I, Shepard. New and improved! I previously had nine chapters or so written and posted here, but after returning to the story years later, I decided that a rewrite was in order. A lot has changed since I first posted this story, but of course, I couldn't abandon it no matter how hard I tried! So here we are with a new version of I, Shepard. To those of you who have favorited, followed, or left a review...I thank you immensely. Much more will be posted in the coming weeks and months. In truth, I charted out three parts to the I, Shepard storyline, so rest assured there will definitely be updates in the future...for as long as it takes! Thanks again. -Alamak

In the beginning, there was only darkness.

It was like being born all over again, except this time there was pain.

Lots of pain.

Breathing became a whole new venture. Like I had to teach myself how to go about it.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

Seconds passed. Then minutes. It felt like an eternity—just breathing in the darkness without any direction or sense of purpose. But then I felt something beneath me. It was solid. Like a rock or a piece of metal. Maybe it was even a bed. I shifted in place, using my arms to feel around for whatever this material was—but it was no use. It felt as if I was strapped in, yet there was nothing holding me down.

Am I paralyzed?

My first thought gravitated towards danger. No surprise there. I rustled around, eventually feeling fingers, then my toes, and then everything in between. My body was waking up. But why was it asleep in the first place? Was I hurt?

I tried to call out—but was met with silence.

Hello?

It was no use. I felt hopeless. Nothing I could do or say or feel would make a difference. Wherever I was…whatever this was…it seemed permanent.

Is anyone there?

I felt nothing. No discourse. No sadness. No despair. I was void of it all. Like a zombie. Or better yet…a corpse.

Could this be Hell?

As the realization dawned on me—that this could be something far worse than death—I started to freak out. I tried moving my limbs in an attempt to break free of whatever bound me in the first place.

Help! Somebody help me! Get me out of here!

My voice was hollow, unfocused, strange. It didn't sound like me. I mean, it did. Only it was deeper. I ignored it and focused on the silence.

"What if he doesn't remember?"

Suddenly, a voice rang my ears. I listened again for it, but when that failed, I screamed.

Hey! Whoever's out there…help!

There was movement just above me. Something stirred in the darkness.

"Of course he'll remember! The damage wasn't that extensive. Though, I do have my doubts."

Another voice. Same mystery. I tried to comprehend. Tried to make sense of what they could possibly mean. But in the end, I figured it best to just keep quiet and continue listening. My hearing was slowly getting better. It still wasn't how I remembered it. But at the very least I could make out certain voices and their characteristics. Whoever was talking sounded like a doctor. And a female. I'd guess she was a gentle person. There was something soothing about her.

"The beacon couldn't have done all of that to him, right?" Someone else was in the room. It sounded like a man's voice. My heart started beating faster.

Then, a flash of light entered my vision. It jolted my entire body, rendering me helpless as tremors animated my limbs. Crazy images of aliens and foreign constructs swarmed my mind. Some of them were facing the sky, screaming endlessly as an unforeseen entity reigned terror from above. I focused, or at least made an effort to, but what I saw in that brief moment terrified me. These creatures—the ones tormenting the alien beings—were giant, twisting figures poised in the air. There were thousands of them. Their numbers darkened the skies. I knew these things. Structures made of metal, floating effortlessly in space, harnessing a blue energy that coalesced with an infinite power.

"Doctor? Doctor Chakwas? I think he's waking up."

Slowly, I opened my eyes.

I was staring at a ceiling lined with pipes and wires. A dim metallic hue filled the length of the interior. It seemed oddly familiar. Like I had been here before. One thing was for certain. I was definitely on some kind of slab. I could feel it. Carefully, I sat upright, wincing as pain shot across my side. Just then, a woman passed me. She wore a look of concern upon her face. Her eyes focused intently on mine.

"You had us worried there Shepard. How are you feeling?"

It took me awhile to register the fact that she was speaking to me.

"Shepard?" I answered groggily, "My name isn't Shepard."

"My God, it did more damage than I thought! Let me take another look at you…" she brought her hand up to my face and examined me. I didn't have a chance to reject her, let alone look around to see what type of hospital this was. Throughout her 'examination' I kept closing my eyes and opening them. My vision was blurry. My senses—disoriented.

"You seem to be fine. I can't find anything wrong."

"Where are my parents?" I asked. My voice definitely sounded weird. Like it was deeper. More mature.

"I might be able to help…" a man stepped forward, emerging from one of the corners. His features were drawn, accentuating dark circles beneath eyes which stared at me from deep hollows. I could tell…he had probably seen a lot during the course of his life. A hell of a lot more than I had ever seen.

"Do you remember who I am, son?"

I shook my head.

He frowned and let out a frustrated sigh, "I'm your Captain."

"Captain?"

"That's right. Captain Anderson. Do you remember?"

There was a hint of mockery in his tone. A familiarity that he seemed to have with me. It was like some kind of joke. If I wasn't panicked before, then clearly I was starting to feel it now.

"What year is it?" I asked, frantically grasping for answers.

He laughed, as did the rest of the people behind me. I turned around and saw both a man and a woman standing beside each other. They both wore some kind of military clothing—dark blue shirts and pants tucked in. An orderly look. The woman had her hair tied back in a bun. The man was clean shaven—his hair slightly longer than mine. They were laughing at me, as if any sense of composure was thrown right out the window. After a few moments the girl approached me.

"Look, Shepard, I feel bad enough about you having to save me from the beacon, but now you're just rubbing it in!"

I examined her. The way she stood with a hand on her hip. That faint grin. Narrowing eyes. I couldn't believe it at first…but…it was her alright. It had to be.

Ashley Williams

I spun around and took a good, hard look at the doctor and older man.

"Captain Anderson?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Doctor Chakwas?" I met her worried gaze.

"In the flesh, my dear," she replied.

This is really happening.

I had to be dreaming. It just wasn't possible. Maybe this was all a figment of my imagination, like something my mind cooked up—while in reality I was lying in some hospital bed.

"Are you sure you're alright, Shepard?"

Shepard.

There was that name again.

How did I end up here?

"Shepard?"

"Give me a second," I snapped, holding my hand up.

Nothing could have prepared me for this moment. This shocking, mystifying moment. No amount of training…no mental preparation…this was completely foreign to me. The sensation of being here, amongst people I had seen in another life…

In another place.

I cleared my throat and motioned towards the Captain.

"What is it?" he asked.

I tried to think about my old life. Of events that would define me. Old memories, beliefs, values, goals, aspirations—all of it. But I realized in this moment that I couldn't remember anything. Only that I didn't belong here in this world. I was like a husk. No past, an unsettling present, and a future that was seemingly doomed.

"The Reapers…" I croaked, "They're coming."