I do not own 'Spider-Man' or anything related.
"Lalalala, just web-slinging through the city, lalala-OOF!"
Something hits Spider-Man and has sent him flying, crashing into the top of the nearby skyscraper several times.
"What the-" Sputtered Spider-Man after getting up, "who did that? Either it's Venom or my Spidey Sense's playing up again."
He sees the figure leap on the opposite building.
"Mwahahahah!" The figure cackled.
"Morlun!" Spider-Man shouted, "The Doomsday to my Superman!"
"I'm here to eat you. Is this a bad time?"
"Well no I didn't really have anything planned to do today so I'll fight you!"
"Excellent. Let us commence the greatest comic book film event ever produced on Hollywood!"
ONE EPIC BATTLE LATER…
"Well," remarked Spiderman, lying beaten on the ground with his left eye pulled out, "This could have gone better."
"Mwhahaha!" Morlun cackled again, popping the eyeball into his mouth, "Now to consume you entirely-"
"Araneus ex machina!"
Morlun was puzzled.
"Araneus ex wha-AAAAAAAAAAAH!"
ONE MAN-SPIDER MAULING LATER…
"No," A dying Morlun coughed, "I can't die like this…"
But he does. Man-Spider slumps back down and morphs back into Peter.
"PETER!" Mary-Jane screamed, who somehow came across the scene. She runs to Peter. Iron Man flies to the scene for some reason.
"Mary-Jane!" He calls as he lands, "Is Peter all right?"
"I don't know," She says as she holds up Peter's head, "He seems uncon- hey, wait a minute! You DO exist in our continuity?"
"Possibly," Iron man admitted, "It's never confirmed although in Marvel continuity they do."
Spider-Man opens his eyes.
"M-Mary Jane?" He whispered.
"Yes, Pete, I'm here!"
Peter smiled.
"Oh...oh Mary-Jane..."
He raised his hand to brush her cheek.
"I'm glad you're here."
"Pete, you have to hold on!"
Peter stared at her.
"M J," Spider-an whispered, "I-love you…"
And he dies in Mary Jane's arms, his eyes still staring at her. Starting to cry, Mary-Jane cradles Peter's body.
"Wow," remarked Iron Man, "It's a shame he had to die before the fourth movie. Cos this scene would have been great in the sixth."
Mary-Jane looked at him.
"What, I'm just saying! Okay, improve the dialogue somewhat, but the actual scene and positions-"
"Oh Tony!" Mary Jane cried after laying Peter down, hugging him.
"It's all right Mary Jane," Tony comforted, "it's all right."
He looked down at Peter's body. Webs started to appear out of nowhere around his body.
"Wait, something's happening!"
"Huh?"
Mary-Jane looked around. She saw Peter being enveloped in a cocoon.
"What's happening to him?"
"I don't know,"admitted tony, "But I think he's going through some kind of metamorphosis. It must have something to do with his spider abilities!"
"But, spiders don't go through metamorphosis."
"Then it must have something to do with how spiders shed their skin once in their lifetime."
"No they don't! Spiders shed their skin constantly as they grow, and some spiders continue to shed their skin several-hey's what's going on?"
The cocoon starts to open.
"It looks like that Peter has finished regenerating!"
"Regenerating? So, he's okay now, right?"
"Nnot necessarily. If this is anything like regenerations in 'Doctor Who', then he'll probably come out looking like a different person with a different personality."
"No! I don't want him to change! I love the Peter I know!"
Something starts to come out of the cocoon.
"Well maybe you'll love this new Peter as well."
The man rises.
"No! There's no way I can love this new Peter more than the-old-one..."
Mary-Jane and Tony stare at the new Peter Parker.
"You're-"
"You're-"
"ROBERT PATTINSON?"
On top of the cocoon, the new Peter Parker Stands, pale skin and yellow eyes.
"What's happened?" Peter asked, looking at his body, "Was I bitten by a vampire or something?"
"No Peter, you regenerated," Tony explained.
"Oh wow!" Mary-Jane exclaimed, "Pete, you look so-so-HOT."
Mary-Jane embraces him.
"Er, yeah, I'm gonna go now," said Tony, "Don't bother trying to contact me-Pete."
Iron-Man flies away. The new Spider-Man and Mary-Jane get close.
"And so the tiger laid with the lamb," New Peter said.
Mary-Jane laughed.
"What a stupid lamb," she remarked.
New Peter smiled.
"What a foolhardy
Commentator: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Sammy: (Bursts in the room) Boss! What's wrong?
Professor: (Follows him) You look as white as a sheet, Sir.
Commentator: (Clutches head) Oh, oh Professor, I just had the most horrible nightmare! I dreamt that they replaced Tobey Maguire with Robert Pattinson!
Sammy: So? What's wrong with Robert Pattinson?
Commetnator: What's wrong? Well, nothing wrong with Pattinson per se, it's just that he doesn't look like Spider-Man, or how you think Peter Parker would look like, and it just seems like an attempt to appease the tween fanbase, even though by tween they actually mean tweenage girls, who aren't even the target audience for 'Spider-Man'. You know I think I liked him better when he was just Cedric Diggory. Now, Harry Osborne, they could have gotten away with, but Peter Parker? AHAHAHAHAAH-
The Commentator notices that the Professor and Sammy looking at each other.
Commentator: Why are you two looking like that?
The Professor looks back at the Commentator.
Professor: You haven't heard, have you Sir?"
The Commentator is now frightened.
Commentator: Heard what?" He asked.
The Professor looks awkward.
"Well, um, you'd better see it for yourself."
The Professor pulls the curtains. The Commentator sees a huge billboard that says 'Robert Pattinson: The new Spider-Man. The Commentator backs away from the apparition.
"No, No, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
Commentator: -OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Professor: (Bursts into the bedroom) Sir, what's wrong? I heard you screaming-?
Commentator: (Jumps on the Professor) Prof, who's playing Spiderman? Has it been announced yet? Is it Robert Pattinson? Is it Robert Pattinson? Please tell me it's not Edward Cullen? WHO? WHO IS IT? TELL ME!
Professor: Sir, (Puts him down) calm down, Sir! (Indicates the computer screen) He's being played by Andrew Garfield!
Commentator: (Looks at the screen. He Hugs the Professor, crying) The nightmare is over! Ah. Wait a minute! Andrew Garfield? I don't recall that name!
Professor: He played Anton In the imaginarui of Dr Parnassus.
Commentator: I new saw that movie.
Professor: -Oh! Um, Francis Weston from the Other Boleyn Girl?
Coimmentator: Saw the movie, don't remember the character.
Professor: Ummmmm…Frank in 'Daleks in Manhatten?'
Commentator: Which one was Frank?
Professor: You know, the young guy? Hung around with Doctor and Martha for a while?
Commentator: Oh yes now I remember! The guy in the sewers who got kidnapped by the pig headed men! So he's the New Spider-Man, eh?
The nightmare is over! Robert Pattinson will NOT be playing Spiderman! That's one fan fear out of the way. Now all they need to ensure is for there to be no origin story, dark or grit or high school, then all fan fears will be put aside.
Professor: Actually due to Andew Garfield's age they're upgrading Peter from a high school student to a college one.
Commentator: Huh. Really? How old is he?
Professor: 27.
Commentator: Huh. That's weird. I mean Tom Weiling was 27 and he played a high school student! And in 'High School Musical The Series' they're got a 28 year old playing a teenager!
Professor: You mean 'Glee'?
Commentator: Potato, potato! Also I'm sure that Tobey Maguire was 27 when he played a high school student I MEAN NO, 27's MUCH TOO OLD TO BE A TEENAGER, YES, NO ONE WOULD BE FOOLED BY A 27 YEAR OLD PLAYING A TEENAGER!
Professor: Yes. That and the fact that he will be 29 by the time the film comes out and no one would try to pass a 29 year old as a teenager. Well, apart from 'Glee', maybe.
Commentator: What?
Professor: (Groan) 'High School Musical The Series'.
Commentator: Oh right that! Yes that's true I guess (Hah! That's another fan fear down! So much for developing his abilities in High School! Hey, maybe they'll just cut out the whole origin story altogether! Unless they want to follow the tv series where he gained his abilities in College. And they'll probably give up on trying to make it darker and grittier so all fanfears will have passed. Phew! I think we all dodged a bullet there, good thing he has spider sense to watch out for that!)
Professor: You know Sir, was the fear of Robert Pattinson playing Spiderman really that relevant now? Or did Anonymius plan this early and posted it late like he did with the 'Lost' reaction or you finding out about 'Heroes', I mean he wasn't even on the shortlist!
Commentator: Well no, but that list wasn't exclusive! Heck even Logan Lehman was suddenly on it despite originally being a rumour, anything could have happened!
P.S. I do not own 'Iron-Man' or anything related either.