The Legend of Sniper: Spy's Mask
Disclaimer: I don't own Team Fortress 2 or the Legend of Zelda.
Chapter 1: An Assassin's Unfortunate Events
In the enigmatic, misty woods of the Lost Woods, our hero, Sniper, searches for a friend while driving in his van. The red mercenary has not found her yet and had been searching ever since he saved Hyrule from Merasmus. Hours went by and all Sniper could see were trees, trees and more trees.
Out of the mist, two fairies were following the van. They bombard the back of the van with their small bodies, which quickly catches Sniper's attention. He steps out of the van to check the problem, only to be attacked by the two fairies.
"Gyaaaaaaaah!" The Sniper shrieks in pain as he falls to the ground on his chest and loses consciousness.
Shortly afterwards, a red engineer wearing a blue spy mask appears out of the mist, surrounded by the two fairies.
"Nice work! Heheheh." The Engineer chortled as he sees the empty van.
He notices an unconscious person on the ground next to it. He pokes at him, rolling him over on his back. He searches him, only to notice a bow and arrow. There were a few words carved on the bow, saying "Huntsmen – Property of Mr. Mundy." He takes the bow and starts to play it like a guitar while chuckling to himself.
"Let me hold the bow, Engie." A dark coloured fairy asks in an excited manner.
"No! You can't, Tael. What would we do if you dropped and broke it?" A light coloured fairy stated as she scolded the dark coloured fairy.
Suddenly, the red mercenary regains consciousness, only to notice that someone has his huntsmen. He notices his short red colleague holding his huntsmen.
"Give me back my huntsmen, mate." Sniper asked.
"Heck no!" Engineer replied as he hops into the van.
"Gaaah! Give me back my van, you cactus eatin' egghead!" Sniper demanded as he was being agitated by the mercenary's defiance.
The engineer drives off in the van near a tree with a gaping hole in the stump that was large enough for a van to fit. The sniper follows the van, losing sight of it as soon as it entered the cavity. Having only the Kukri and Jarate equipped, Sniper can only run after his stolen van. As he enters the cavity, he falls into a deep ravine. His life was flashing before his eyes as he was falling, which seemed like forever. Suddenly, he lands on a giant, pink, soft flower at the bottom of the ravine. The ravine illuminates, revealing a floating red engineer, wearing spy's mask and the two fairies.
"What's with that stupid van of yours? It doesn't even have a single feature on it that's worth keeping. There's no point in driving a thing like that. So I did you a favour and scrapped it." Engineer stated as Sniper's face tightens in anger.
"Go to hell, wanker!" Sniper shouts, tightening his fists, urging to strike the Engineer's face.
"You don't look like a happy camper. I thought I'd just play games with you, boy. Do you think you can ever dominate me, campground? Really, son?" Engineer gloats as he continues mocking the red mercenary. "Son, I'm going to blow that dumb look right off your stupid face."
The engineer starts shaking his head awkwardly towards the sniper. Some sort of magic was protruding out of the spy mask. It looked very menacing and it overtook the sniper's head, overpowering him. Within sniper's head, a large mob of pyros, wearing all sorts of hats were surrounding him. He escapes the mob, continuously trying to run from the pyros behind him. A giant pyro, resembling Burny the Pyrosaur appears from behind the fleeing sniper sucks him into his nozzle and his head darkens from emptiness.
The sniper regains consciousness and realizes that he feels different. He takes a look at his reflection in a puddle surrounding the giant flower. He no longer sees his former look and looks a lot like his team mate, Pyro, from his job in Teufort.
"Mmph mmph mmmmph!" The Pyro shrieked as he looks at himself in the puddle.
"Hehehehehe! You look much better as mumbles. You ain't leaving here at all, boy." Engineer chortles as he leaves the pyro behind. The door opens, letting the engineer and the dark coloured fairy through. The light coloured fairy tries to stop the pyro, trying to catch up to engineer.
"TATL!" The dark coloured fairy shouts before the door closes, leaving the light coloured fairy and pyro behind.
"Whoa! Whoa! Skull Kid, wait for me! I'm still here! Tael, you can't leave without me!" The light coloured fairy shrieked, in a fruitless effort to be heard by the engineer.
She bangs herself against the door to no avail. She suddenly turns to the Pyro.
"You! If I wasn't dealing with you, I wouldn't have gotten separated from my brother! Well, don't just sit there, Deku colt! Do something!...Why are you looking at me like that? What, is there something stuck on my face? Will you stop staring at me and open that door for me?! Please! C'mon, a helpless, little filly is asking you... So hurry up! Ohhhh, Tael... I wonder if that foal will be all right on his own?" The fairy explains as she has no other choice but to get the pyro to help her out.
Pyro opens the door and enters the next room, which seemed like a small corridor made out of a log. After making the right turn, he spots a flower that is very to the one in the previous room. As he was about to step onto the flower, the fairy calls out to him.
"Hey, wait for me! Don't leave me behind!" The fairy screams as she catches up to the Pyro.
"Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmmm." Pyro chuckled to himself as the thought of leaving her behind was funny to him.
"So, um, for that stuff back there... I, um, apologize… so… take me with you!" The fairy sulked, trying to convince pyro to open the door.
"Mmmph mmph mmmph mmph mmph!" Pyro shouts at the fairy in anger.
"I don't understand what you're saying. Anyways, you want to know about the engineer who just ran off, right? Well, I just so happen to have an idea where he might be going. Take me with you and I'll help you out. Deal?" The fairy pleas, as the pyro seems to have calmed down.
"Mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph." Pyro replies in disbelief.
"Please? Good! So then it's settled! I'll be your partner... or at least, until we catch that Skull Kid. My name's Tatl. So, uh, it's nice to meet you or whatever." Tatl explains promptly to the Pyro.
"Mmph mmph mmph mmph mmph." Pyro muffled, trying to introduce himself in the most coherent way anyone can hear him.
"Now that we've got all that straightened out, can we stop messing around and get moving?!" Tatl says as they begin to move.
"Mmm mmm." Pyro agrees as he nods.
Pyro steps onto the big flower, standing around without a clue of how to get to the elevated platform across the room. It was not long until the Pyro realized that he could pick up the flower and trying to fly across the map after jumping.
Pyro puts his plan into action and jumps into the air. He falls onto the platform below, realizing that he should gain momentum by running before jumping. He hauls himself up onto the platform with the flower and gives his plan B a try. He runs towards the ledge and jumps, which allowed for the flower to hold him to the other side. Once the pyro reached the other side, he opened the door.
Behind that door, the pyro found even more platforms and this time, there seemed to be a bottomless pit separating them this time and the height differences were significantly larger. This was no job for any human being to simply jump across. Pyro needed to figure out a way across. It was not too long until the pyro decided to climb up the platforms after jumping to them, since he had no weapon on him.
On one of the platforms, Pyro finds an unopened chest that peaked his curiosity. He opens the chest, watching the inside of the chest gleam brightly as he finds something in it. He pops back out of the chest, holding an item in the air.
A random text box appeared below Pyro. "You have the Pyrovision Goggles. These goggles impair aesthetic judgement and cause the user to see an alternate world of joy. Equip them from the Equip Menu. They also have floating hearts around them. These are an unusual pair."
Pyro equipped them, hoping that it would enhance his progress in his journey. He did get the bonus of having the hearts flying around him though.
Pyro then snapped out of his cosmetic trance and reached the other side of the room, only to discover a deformed, lifeless figure that looked very similar to Pyro peak his curiosity. Pyro shrugged it off and headed out of the room.
Pyro finds himself walking through a spiral room before entering some sort of place with running water and a running gear in it. When he exits the spiral room, the door shuts tightly after him. The pyro walks up into the chamber above the subterranean river, almost reaching the door. Suddenly, a voice calls out to him.
"You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?" A strange man carrying a backpack with masks said to Pyro.
Tatl notices this mysterious man and hides behind Pyro in fear. The Pyro walks over to the man.
"I own the Happy Mask Shop. I travel far and wide in search of masks..." The man introduced himself as the pyro was thinking about the Seal Mask, chuckling to himself.
"During my travels, a very important mask was stolen from me by an impish engineer in the woods." The Happy Mask Salesman explained.
'Why would that wanker want the spy's mask?' Pyro thought to himself. 'Watching Pyro burn that bloody spy was always fun.'
"So here I am at a loss… And now I've found you. Now don't think of me as rude, but I have been following you…" The Salesman explains which surprises the pyro.
'He reminds me of that spy.' Pyro thought to himself.
"… For I know of a way to return you to your former self." The Salesman says, suddenly peaking the pyro's interest.
"If you can get back the precious item that was stolen from you, I will return you to normal." the salesman states.
'My huntsmen? I don't see how that bloody piker can change me back to normal, but I've got no choice. I don't like being in this mutant's body and I can't speak clearly with that bloody mask over my face.' Pyro thought to himself.
"Perhaps you can also snatch the impish engineer's precious items while you're at it." the Salesman adds as the pyro ponders on how to return to normal.
"In exchange… All I ask is that you also get back my precious mask that impish engineer stole from me." The Happy Mask Salesman explains as he bargains with the Pyro.
'This guy should pay me for this sort of thing. I'm not a walkin' charity.' Pyro thought to himself, mumbling to himself slightly.
"What? Is that not a simple task?" The Salesman asks the Pyro, giving Pyro an uneasy feeling about him.
'This punter can read my mind?' Pyro wondered to himself. 'This guy's even creepier than the pyro I work with.'
"Why, to someone like you, it should by no means be a difficult task." The Salesman states reassuringly.
'So I guess he can't read my mind, but he's still rather creepy.' Pyro thought to himself. 'He reminds me of that BLU Spy at work back in Teufort.'
"Except… The one thing is… I'm a very busy fellow…" The Salesman says to the Pyro.
'And I'm a professional assassin. I'm also quite busy, but I get wrapped up in these things. Bloody Hell!' Pyro thought to himself as he listens to the Salesman's words.
"And I must leave this place in three days. How grateful I would be if you could bring it back to me before my time here is up…" The Salesman explains, hoping the pyro will comply fully.
'I sure hope he pays me or gives me some of those unusual masks.' Pyro thought to himself. 'I would love to show them off to my team.'
"But yes… You'll be fine. I see you have tremendous courage. I'm sure you'll find it right away." the Salesman states.
'As a professional assassin, killing people for money requires guts anyways.'
"Well then, I'm counting on you…"
Pyro then faced the direction of the door and pushed them open. He then exits the chamber, leaving the Happy Mask Salesman alone, not knowing what he would face next.
EXTRA:
Behind that door, the pyro found even more platforms and this time, there seemed to be a bottomless pit separating them this time and the height differences were significantly larger. This was no job for any human being to simply jump across. Pyro needed to figure out a way across. He decided to simply jump across.
A kill feed suddenly appeared with a skull and two femurs forming an X-shape on the top right hand corner of pyro's vision. "Link Wannabe fell to a clumsy, painful death."
Pyro then found himself in a spawn room, which lead to the multi-platform room near the door to the previous room.
"Mmm mmm mmm mmph." Pyro complained as the room tortured him.
Pyro finds himself walking through a spiral room before entering some sort of place with running water and a running gear in it. Pyro decided to take a swim in the river. The current dragged him towards the running gear, which crushed him.
The kill feed suddenly appeared with a saw in front of the name "Link Wannabe."
He respawned within the tower, noticing a medicine cabinet near the locked door.
'Ah piss!' Pyro thought to himself.
END EXTRA
A/N: I couldn't come up with anything cleverer, so Spy's Mask seemed to be the best name for Majora's Mask. This is the most unique Legend of Zelda title in my opinion, considering that this is a short game, but enables you to repeat the same three days over again. The masks in Termina have quite a lot of power, much like the hats do (on the players) in Team Fortress 2. It would be interesting if Nintendo permitted some of these masks/hats from Majora's Mask into Team Fortress 2, but not likely unless they're mods made by other people, like on GameBanana.
There are a few words that I have alternate spelling for, such as color (or colour). Either spelling is fine, regardless of whether you're from the USA, Britain, or from anywhere else. I just wanted to clarify that.
In later chapters, I may incorporate the side quests, mainly for the masks because those were pretty significant in Majora's Mask. I might use Sniper's last name once he returns to his former self, but that will take at least two more chapters, I think. Until then, feel free to review this chapter.