Why us?
Why must we be the ones to fight this battle?
Why must we be the ones to be experimented on?
Why we are a part of the chosen warriors of god?
I cannot take the pain I have buried in my heart no longer. I marvel how you are able to. We both have gone through so much and yet you do not show how each day of our lives we suffer. No one asked us, we were forced. Forced to live this wretched life.
I am tired of fighting. I wish I could end it all but I wont. You ask why? Because of you. I look to you for strength and protection from the horrors of our past. If I were to leave now, you would be so sad and I do not want to see you so sad. I rather see the scowl you always wear. Allen always asks me how I can deal with your so-called attitude. I simply say that I have known you all my life and leave it at that. It is truly a miracle on how far we have come in such a short lifespan.
We both have come a long way….
If something were to happen to me I hope you continue living. I do not want to see that scowl to go away. It would be a sad day to see tears come from those lovely eyes of yours. Who knows, maybe I too will survive this endless battle and live out my remaining life by your side like I had always planned. I dream of that constantly, us living in a world where peace will prevail and no one would bother us again.
I wonder sometimes as well as what will happen to us when we do no longer walk on this earth. We are technically created so would that make us abominations? Would we go to hell for something we had no say in? I am scared of those thoughts but they plague me everyday. Would this so called God have pity and grant us passage beyond those pearly gates? I not one to believe in to whole God complex, but I wonder sometimes since I am supposedly one of his soldiers fighting the Millennium Earl and all.
Look how pathetic I am on thinking about all of this. I should be glad I that I have survived this long with you. I try to continue on with this but if you are reading this letter, please know that I lived a wonderful life with you and that would not change any of it.
Yours truly,
Rue